Sil88

So do you disclose before they make the journey?

The national radio station aimed at younger listeners put out a peak-time report about this, and the need to protect against orally transmitted stds, including herpes. Think the first cases have been in Leeds, which has also just become the first city to open a legal red-light district.

^ Yes @optimist

You could search for the thread that goes into detail about it, mostly from a US perspective.. one of the other considerations is that it's very hard to prove they were h- before they slept with you, and h+ afterwards, since we don't test.

Hippy did post an article a while back, but I think it's less likely to be an issue here in the UK. People sue anyone for anything in the US. When you think there were 32,000 new cases of GH last year, its very rare that it goes to court.

I think we've gotten sidetracked.. the point of the thread was dealing with the aftermath and feelings of guilt. ***nevermind, half of post was missing

I was only mentioning the 'no' thing to remind you that you weren't entirely responsible for what may happen. Everyone has an opinion, and I know it goes against the forum stance.. but I think you're right not to speak up. If he's quite active, he may not be able to pinpoint who or when, and he seems to enjoy kiss and tell.. so I wouldn't trust him with that information. If it was anything more than a drunken night out, it'd be different.

Could be that he's willing to take that small chance once, but not over a longer period. But.. you wanted casual, you got casual - maybe he just likes a bit of a connection on top of that. You've no reason to feel bad though.

You can infer lots of things from the post. "I said no but it happened". I'm not calling for his head, but it would make me feel less personally responsible for any unfortunate results. Depends how exactly it happened.

At this stage, you just need to make sure it doesn't happen again. By addressing the hurt caused by the situation with your ex, and avoiding alcohol for a while. It's good that you feel mortified, and let's hope it was a one-off. You didn't convince me he was completely innocent in this though. I mean, you shouldn't have to force a 'no' through, so long as it's audible. Agree with HH - sober up, sleep it off. How long ago did it happen?

If youve yet to test positive, does that mean you've tested negative? Did the doctor say there was nothing wrong with you after just blood tests? Could ask about being refered to a neurologist maybe.

Hey sk, you're gonna be fine. I know how you're feeling; we've all been there and it sucks big time. But this'll be a test for you, and make you a stronger person in the long run. This thing won't kill you - you will beat it and keep it locked down eventually, and future you will thank yourself for not doing anything drastic whilst you were reeling in shock. If it helps to get your feelings out here, then do more of that - writing here helps to expand that bubble you feel like you're in. Having said that, you should get a professional to take a look and confirm or rule out herpes, and tell you which type it is. I think it's planned parenthood you need in the US. They could also give you antivirals to help you clear up those pesky bumps. Apparently, peeing in the bath will help with the pain.. dilutes the ammonia which causes stinging. Have you spoken to the person you think could've passed it to you?

Oh sorry, I was still half asleep when reading.. thought it was just bloods. You'll get used to the diagnosis with time.

Hi, get a swab test. Everyone has hsv1 (your result is completely normal) - you need to specifically test the blisters on your leg. Your doctor hasn't been proven wrong, there's hope yet! Although waking up in sweats through the night sounds familiar to me, it could be related to anxiety after having Google-diagnosed.

There was a program about this on UK national radio a couple of days ago, sounded really promising. But the gene editing process is controversial, and the last time they got excited about this type of cure, it resulted in patient deaths when taken to the human trials stage. The experts said they are much better informed these days though, and think it's unlikely to happen again. If it works out, which of course I hope it does, hsv will be the only remaining incurable sti - can't be good for the stigma! Wonder how much of a jump it would be to focus the treatment on the nervous system rather than the blood.

I don't have any answer to your question, sorry. Have you been diagnosed with this in the past? I had a mini-scare about ocular herpes last week, when my right eye started aching, leaking and my vision was blurred for a few days. A saline bath seemed to help though and it passed without any sign of distortion or blisters on the surface. I know it's supposed to be quite uncommon. Btw, can the treads from your nick be red or green too? :P

Yea, that's old news - I read it during my panic phase 21 months ago, but I think they primarily based it around hsv1 and not specifically genital cases, so a good 80% of the population should panic too. Correct me if I'm wrong, it was a long time ago.. Do you know why it's started becoming an issue again? Have you had a relationship during the past 3 years? How long do you think we ought to beat ourselves up about herpes? It doesn't deserve to take up such a chunk of your life.. you should be enjoying it as much as you can, and how anybody else reacts to H is their business. Besides, after 3 years you should be well in control of the virus.. you already had low transmission % due to type 1, by now it will be even less likely. I caught hsv2 during the first few months of my partner being infected, so I tend to believe that the timing is highly relevant.

Sounds like he's causing you more harm than good.. time for a cleanup, and his feet are getting in the way. Like you said, it's about respecting yourself - he doesn't deserve your consideration from what you've written. If his other girl is about to hit him with the news, it's probably a good time to act. I'm with you on the secluded bit.. but if you're like me, it's easy to use that as an excuse when really there are ways to meet people - it just might take a little more effort or stretching of your comfort zone. Btw, happy one-year anniversary - a big milestone, possibly a turning point if you make it one. So cry it up whilst you still can, then leave that year in the dirt.

So you told him before any contact took place? Then it becomes his responsibility, as long as you believe you're not having an OB. What do you mean 'under his fingers'? How can he loathe coldsores if he doesn't get them? And it's incredibly over-dramatic to say you would self-destruct because of them.. he needs to realise it's all just hype. Doesn't sound like you should feel guilty at all.

Haha thats what I wondered for a long time, and the doctor blamed many of the symptoms on anxiety. You shouldn't rule it out I guess, anything you can do to relax is always a good thing whether it's causing you the symptoms or not. Are they getting better or worse?

It's possible that the urine test was specifically chlamydia and the swab specifically hsv.

I'm not a doctor, but from what you've said, I'd be tempted to say it's at least partly bacterial. (Things like the white film, patches and dry skin) You can explain the tingling lip by whatever new infection triggering a cold sore from your existing herpes, and sensitive skin because you're stressing out and it's natural to be hypersensitive when you're straining to find answers. Did the gum clinic run any tests? In the meantime, you could drink cranberry juice to help flush anything out.. sometimes muscular back ache can be similar to a kidney infection, so keep your options open. Most of all, stay relaxed.. hope you get to the bottom of it

Yes, you can. But he will have SOME resistance due to an existing infection elsewhere. Genital to genital type-1 is already low risk, but his antibodies will make it even lower. Sorry for the bs.

Hsv 1 has half the likelihood of transmission during regular sex, is generally less active, and a much higher percentage of the population have antibodies to fight it. So in that sense it is the Lite version.. There is a measurable difference between the two which would be irresponsible to ignore. Just because the prevention methods are the same don't make it the same thing. Whitedaisies point about existing antibodies is pretty important, and why did you insist that Nal's doctor was wrong to run a non type-specific blood test?

I'm confused in nal's case, because she had blisters that could be swabbed to identify type and location, but the doc almost immediately did a combined blood test on a supposed first OB... Have I got that right? Swab's are pretty basic and cost efficient surely, so I don't think it has to do with the healthcare structure this time (although I know that was only regarding the 'wrong test' comment)