MMissouri

Yes, it's possible you or her could have had it all this time and not known. It will probably be a huge leap of faith for her, at least until she finds out the facts. I would have them ready. Just because you are the one with the OB does not mean you are the one that brought it into the relationship. (Not that I'm pointing at her, just that she will need to understand that possibility also) Good luck!

I have to second fitgirl. If you must, I'd try something natural over the scented stuff.

You could do that regardless. :)

The wait is the worst. Hoping you get good results. Wouldn't that be wonderful if it is just an infection? Good luck!

@hottoddynightmo (Nice to see another Missouri person!), Why do you think that herpes is spreading to your arm, neck and face? I think you might be having the paranoia effect of H- where if anything looks odd, tingles, itches, changes color, raises, makes a noise.. it's that dang virus taking over your body. Remember, in order to transfer it to other places, either it has to be mucous membrane OR you have to have some type of opening to let it in. (Cut or something of that nature).

I'm glad you decided to come and share this with us! I think that this is one of my favorite disclosure stories. Love your outlook and point of view :)

If they are inside your mouth, I'd lean towards them being canker sores also. There are quite a few topical things you can do to help them heal. (I think alum, peroxide, baking soda, coconut oil, honey, orajel etc are some things recommended. It wouldn't hurt to try some just to alleviate the pain) It's hard to stay positive when you are hurting. I think that finding some relief will help you start to feel better overall. Serendipity covered everything else I could think of to say. (I'm just getting off work, and maybe I'll think of something else when my brain recharges lol) Hang in there, it'll get better.

This post made me so happy for you! You can just feel the excitement coming through. That's so great.. make me dinner and educate me in the process! So cute!

First of all, anyone dealing with what you have mentioned would feel lost. Your feelings are normal. You've hinted at the situation but haven't really given the details, and this is much more than a herpes diagnosis, so I'm going to wing it here. Something that stands out about your post is "having to walk away from the most important relationship of my life". Something I've learned on this forum is, the most important relationship of your life should be the relationship with yourself. So, you've left this relationship, for a good reason I'm thinking? And if that is so, then as much as it hurts, you know it was the right thing to do for you. That doesn't make it easier, I get that, but for whatever reason- it needed to be done. As for the h diagnosis. Try looking at it from a different perspective. Your worst nightmare? Surely that isn't true? Think about that for a minute...really think about that. I can think of many worse things than H. Like I said in the beginning, your feeling are normal. Where do you go from here? You heal. Life changes, don't regret the past- learn from it and move on. Unfortunately in life we lose people we love, it's just a part of the process. There are people out there to love and that will love you in return. You are not worthless and unwanted. You may not see that yet, but you will..

What type of herpes do you both have?

I wanted to add that I tested positive for this when I was 16, and never had it come up on a pap since. I'm starting to rethink it though, seeing how many of you react to it. Maybe I should have been disclosing all this time? Ugh.

I think WCSDancer means that genital warts don't cause any long term health problems. The treatment is painful, but the virus goes dormant (for most people) and once that happens, there isn't a risk of transmission (if I understand that right). There is always a risk when you have an STD with childbirth. (Even the little STDs, funny how that sounds). I've been doing some research on HPV since it's been coming up on the boards lately, it's a gray area. Most doctors say it isn't even worth disclosing once your paps come up clear. (For whatever that's worth)

I don't know mine either..

@Days_mommy, I kinda feel like if we cant trust the numbers, everyone will be suspicious of every lil bump/cut. What kind of paranoia would that bring about? Believe me, if I had low numbers like that I'd be celebrating! LOL

I'm glad you didn't take offense to my reply. I kind of zeroed in on the fact that you tested positive for HSV1, but your post was addressing her positive status. You didn't really say much about what your plans were about your status. I DO think it's great you came here and sought information, and that you like this girl and are willing to give her a chance... I just worried that you didn't realize that you also should be taking precautions, whether you are with her or not. Anyway, I'm sorry if I came across a little blunt. And best of luck :)

Well, your numbers say you are still negative. I would think they would start increasing by now if you were positive. I would trust them. If you are still concerned, get checked again before changing partners. I would not take what they said on the other forum to heart. They mean well, we all do, but looking at something and testing for something are two different things.

Maybe you can do something else during the OB periods? Something that wouldn't involve the friction like running etc might. Like yoga. I'm thinking if you do it at home, you can go commando with some boxers or something of that nature on.

Days..why not look into some of the ideas people have at tackling it from the outside while you are waiting for your meds? Like the tea tree oil- some dab it directly onto their OB with a carrier oil. Then there is baths, blow driers, etc. It might give you some relief.

I'm not sure what you want? The doctor is sending off more tests and trying to figure out why she continues to have issues, which is a reasonable thing to do. I can only speak from my experience, but I've never had those issues in relation to H. As for the bumps being related to childbirth- just because your baby is 10 months old does not mean they will go away. Take skin tags for instance, some people just start getting them and they remain unless they are removed. As for her infections, maybe she isn't getting them completely resolved. Is she taking/completing her meds like she's suppose to? I'm just asking because some people stop once they are feeling better, which is not a good thing. Or..Maybe she needs a different type of medication, some people don't have good results with one vs another. If they prescribe the same ones as before, perhaps you can ask for something different. Another thing is antibiotics kill good bacteria. Is she eating yogurt or taking probiotics? Another scenario is maybe something is triggering them. Fabric softener, scented things, type of underwear, etc. I've heard of people who suddenly get repeated infections and those things listed were the cause. I feel strange talking to you about this but does she douche? That could be irritating things. Does she have toys? Have you attempted to have sex? There are so many things that could be causing this..

I'll post what my anatomy teacher told us in college. (He was an actual Dr for most of his life before he switched to teaching). He said that it's all about the profits. Even in cases of cancer, they make so much money with the medicine/treatments in comparison to what they would with a cure, that we will probably never see many new cures (if any) in our lifetime. In addition, once research is over, tons of people lose jobs, labs get closed, and grants stop. That's just his opinion, but it does make sense.

In addition to what positivelybeautiful said, you could give him the handouts and have him watch some of Adrial's videos. It might help!

I'm going to try these. Thank you :)

You don't have to deal with it alone. Maybe you can heal here, and also help other people who will come to the forum feeling exactly like you do now. You've already caught my interest with the tea tree oil wipes and chapstick! How does she make those?

I think your prior relationship is kinda bittersweet. The "we are broken but we have each other" is sweet yet sad at the same time, because.. you aren't broken. I think that you need to see that. Like the prior posters said, take some time for yourself and learn to love yourself before trying again. Because I do think you should try again. As for your worry about trusting other people and getting something like HIV. Well, here is where it's a learning experience. You've trusted before, and got burned. Next time, why not get tested before the relationship turns sexual? Don't give up, because you do have options and ways to protect yourself.

I agree with PositivelyBeautiful, I would wait until he gets home. I think it's a better to disclose in person anyway.