MMissouri

This is what the herpes org has to say about it: The virus is passed directly from the affected area of skin, by direct skin to skin contact, with friction, when the virus is present. It enters easily through mucous membranes, i.e. the moist skin inside the mouth and genital-anal area. Sometimes it gets into ordinary skin, on other parts of the body, but there needs to be a cut or break in the skin. This can be the fingers/hands, knees, etc., if these come into direct contact with the affected area of another person. From that I would say you are good to go. (Assuming you mean rubbing ON the butt, NOT between the cheeks)

I love this too, worth the watch :)

I don't have any experience with Whitlow but maybe just understanding on how the virus works will give you the answers you need? For instance, if it were me, I'd start somewhere like..I know the virus is skin on skin contact (friction?) but doesn't it need mucous membranes and/or some type of moisture to spread? So, keep it covered during an outbreak and otherwise just use normal common sense. (Not letting an infant suck on your finger for instance).

Since you are already having marital problems I can understand not wanting to disclose, but you have to. Try keeping in mind that he could also have it. Like the poster above suggests, get the handouts. Educate yourself before you approach him, it will help you if it he freaks out. Maybe you could start the conversation with, "Do you remember how I was constantly getting yeast infections over the years? I found out that it might not have been yeast but something else entirely..." The tingling etc will get better. The first year is the worst. Best of luck with your disclosure.

I'm going to take a shot at answering some of your questions until someone with more knowledge can help. 1.There is no way to tell where the infection has settled unless you have an outbreak. 2.There is a risk that you could get HSV1 genitally if you are not careful. This is a question that someone else can answer better but I can tell you that my husband has HSV1 orally, I have it genitally, and to my knowledge we have not transferred it to other areas. (I have never had an oral outbreak and he's never had a genital- it's been 16 years) 3. Yes, it's possible to have HSV and not have any symptoms ever. 4. I've seen people talking about fevers along with H. I don't know about the tonsillitis. 5. If you have clothes on you will not become infected. I'm confused after this point. If I'm reading this right, you have the virus already, your boyfriend tested positive and you are worried that you may get it genitally because you don't know where his outbreaks are? The end of your post makes me sad. (You're scared to have sex with him and feel he is not clean). What if he felt that way about kissing you? What if you are the one that transferred it to him? I don't understand the question about finding a H- person to avoid getting it, when you already have it?

Thanks for the share! It was a good read :)

Maybe.... she doesn't have H. I personally would wait and see if the meds improve her condition. I'm not trying to be rude, but it seems as if you are convinced she HAS to have H. It isn't so. She just might not have it. I just find it hard to believe with all the doctors appointments, not one doctor has even been worried about it. YOU seem to be the one obsessed with it. I understand that you feel you've given it to her, but maybe you should step back and relax a little. You might be beating yourself up over nothing.... Maybe, until she is actually diagnosed by a DR, you can invest some time in researching the ways to have safe sex and prevent her from getting H. Because at this point, no one seems to think she has it but you.

I have to agree with Beachdude. Another thing to keep in mind is the numbers. Surely the statistics for people with herpes extends to that community as well?

I think it's too wordy too. I would simply say you found out through recent testing you are an asymptomatic carrier of HSV1, the virus that causes cold sores. I would then wait for his response or perhaps say you have some information you could share if he would like to know more. Good luck!

I could be wrong, but if you tell the doctor you have genital herpes when you are pregnant, don't they test the infant for herpes? Maybe they do it and just don't say anything unless the baby is positive?

Shaving/waxing irritates me. I then think I'm having an OB because I'm paranoid like that. I guess you could wait and see if it seems to be causing an issue, then up the meds. I have a question and maybe someone can answer this. If herpes is a skin to skin transmitted virus, wouldn't keeping your pubic hair provide a layer of protection? A buffer so to speak? I remember going to planned parenthood preherpes and the woman actually commenting that I shouldn't shave, that I was increasing my risks of contacting an STD. It's there for a purpose she said...

We diagnose Trichomoniasis through a urinalysis or a wet prep. If she has a UTI then most likely she had a urine microscopic done. If so, they would have seen trich in the urine (as long as the sample wasn't to old). Trichomonas swims. Neatest thing... but anyway... I would stop trying to diagnose yourselves online. Only testing will give you the answers you need.

I agree with seeker. I think depression is worse when you do not have something to distract you from your thoughts. When I'm at work, I think about work. Maybe you can form some friendships there. As for the guy, well, you won't know until you see him. I would try not to focus on him and focus on what you gain by getting back out there in the working world. It's a new year with new beginnings-try to stay positive. (Seeker- are you a painter?)

Let it all out. You're angry, and I think that's perfectly normal. The therapist can't take the herpes away, but maybe she can help you accept that you have it.

Love this post too. It just resonates with me. Wishing you the same for 2015 :)

Maybe you could direct him to this forum and he could get some help also? As far as testing goes -IgM antibodies are a first responders; they come, fight, and fade shortly after. IgG responds second and sticks around for the long haul (long term immunity/infection) So what WCS said about those tests seems spot on. Yay! Immunology came in handy for something ;)

Plenty of unprotected sex here too. 3 babies and no problems at all. Have fun! :)

I'm relieved to hear you say that. I'd much rather hear it was just an odd occurrence than something I might have to worry about happening again.

My sores have healed completely. It doesn't take long for me at all, but I've had it for a long time now. Hang in there, hopefully things will be back to normal soon.

I would disclose. I'm pretty sure I have genital herpes from oral sex. I've never used dental dams or condoms with oral sex either. I find the idea odd. I understand the why of it, but sucking on latex... odd.. I'm still learning, so I'm looking forward to the responses.

Yay!! Baby steps. Congrats :)

I have always had issues after H too. I assumed that it was due to the immune system being weakened by the virus. Don't they say once you get one STD it is easier to get others? I figured that it was the same for infections. Not to scare anyone but about 3 years ago, I woke up horribly sick. Vomiting, fever of 105, a swollen stomach and the most horrible pain from my ribs down to my groin. I could barely move. They thought it was appendicitis. I went under thinking I was getting a little incision and I woke up with a open abdomen, drain tubes, etc. They said that it was an infection and I was basically filled with pus (that was the swollen stomach). They couldn't find one thing wrong but an enlarged ovary and it seemed as if the infection started in that area. They had only seen one other case like mine and it wasn't as severe. It turned out to be staphylococcus. The reason I'm mentioning it was because when I woke up, there were a ton of student doctors around my bed and I was in shock and a little woozy. I will never forget the head doctor practically shouting a question at me.. it was "Do you have a history of STD's??" I was mortified. And said no... But to this day, I think to myself.. yes.. I guess I do. I have no idea if it is related to H or not, but that question still haunts me. Funny thing though, at the follow up, the doctor was quick to reassure me that I had no STD's. I looked at my husband and raised my eyebrows... we both got a chuckle out of that. I look back now and think I should have been honest, for research if anything.

Congrats!! I had three babies after my diagnosis. I was put on Valtrex the last couple weeks of my pregnancies. When you go into labor, they do an exam with a light (can not think of the name at the moment) to make sure there are no lesions. I did have three c sections. None of this was due to H, but because I never dilated past 4. I don't know if you've thought about breastfeeding? If so, I did this with all of mine, and H was never an issue.

I never had the flu like symptoms or UTIs. Mine started as a soreness, but I thought that was because we were pretty active (3+ times a day) and I ignored it. Sex started really becoming uncomfortable, then I noticed bumps, and around that same time my lymph nodes in my groin became huge. I was in so much pain I went to the ER thinking something was seriously wrong. Funny thing though, they had an STD chart on the wall and while we were going through my symptoms, I told the lady that the chart is leading me to believe I have herpes. She said OH, that thing.. just ignore it, it scares a lot of people. Well.. I was right.

I'm almost 16 years past my diagnosis and my husband has had it since he was a kid. I've had three children since, and I've never passed the virus onto them. The only thing we were diligent about was making sure they didn't drink after my husband or kiss him on the mouth when he was having an active outbreak. Another part of your post that stood out to me is "years of physical pain". After having this for awhile, I would say the most annoying thing to me is the itching when I get stressed. I rarely have an actual OB, and if I do- it's usually one blister-no pain. My first outbreak was so horrible I couldn't even walk upright. I don't even remember the next one. Or the one after that. They get better, I promise.