MMissouri

Although Immunology was my least favorite class, I enjoyed your post! Thanks for the share.

@beachdude1984, looking forward to the immunology talk.

I've had valtrex prescribed for my first OB and first two pregnancies. It worked well for me. My last pregnancy they prescribed acyclovir (I think that's what it was) and I didn't care for it as much. Not that I had an OB on it, but that you had to take more doses for the same effect as valtrex. Otherwise I have not taken any meds or used any remedies for H. My OBs are rare, not painful, and do not last longer than a few days. I did buy a bottle of L Lysine to try for my next OB just out of curiosity. I doubt it will become part of my daily regimen though because my symptoms are so minor.

But..it is real. The longer you avoid that, the longer it will take you to heal and rebuild that self love and value you want. A support group might help, and I doubt everyone in the room will be in their 30's. I really don't think it would matter anyway. The people there are going through exactly what you have, and you will bond over that. In the meantime, you have this forum and a boyfriend that hasn't run away. It's a start.

I haven't personally ever had an issue with generic drugs. From what I understand they have to perform the same as the name brand they are substituting. They have the same ingredients, strength, and levels in the blood stream. I think the allowed variation is something like 3%. Sometimes they are absorbed more than their counterpart and sometimes less, but they have to meet certain standards to be allowed on the market. Since the ingredients are pretty much identical, I'm guessing you might have a reaction to the brand name also. The only thing you can do is try it, perhaps you can ask for a sample to see how it affects you before paying for the prescription?

If you read the handouts on the forum and the watch the video Adrial has on the homepage, it will talk about the risks with medication and condoms. It's pretty low. You didn't mention what type you have and where? That matters when it comes to stats. I can't tell you that your boyfriend won't dump you, but I can tell you at 19, you will have many more opportunities to have relationships. And yes.. they can be normal. All of us have gone through the period of shame and depression, and it gets better. I promise. Read some of the success stories and educate yourself about H. The more you know, the better it gets.

I completely agree @WCSdancer2010. There isn't much you can do other than talk to her. Like dancer also pointed out, she is putting herself at risk also. Now that her immune system is occupied with herpes, she could pick up other STD's easier. HIV/AIDS..scary stuff. Try not to make it about the people she is sleeping with and direct your concerns in a direction where it is worry for her. I'm saying this because if you constantly talk about her infecting others, it hammers the label of "walking virus" home and feeds into the stigma she may be feeling (gross, damaged, unable to disclose, etc). I get that it's not right to behave in the way that she is, but it also says something about her frame of mind. To me it sounds as if she as the point where she doesn't care about herself or others. Sad stuff. Good luck.

You can't avoid stress, but you can change how you deal with it. If exercise helps you, try some low impact stuff (yoga). There are some posts about home remedies, search the threads. Good luck and hang in there.

I had three girls after getting H. I took antivirals for all three. I was cleared for vag births for the first two but ended up having csecs. (Not h related)

It sounds to me as if you don't truly allow people to get to know you. If they only get bits and pieces of your life, how are they suppose to understand? You did the same thing in your post- you can't have kids? Have a heart condition? Death sentence? You just dropped some major issues but didn't really explain them. My advice would be to open up to someone, whether it be the forum, family member, a friend, or a counselor-AND be honest. No one can help you if they don't know what is going on. Someone will choose to be with you for life because you are worth it. Read the above line again. Read it over and over. Let it sink in. You said you've shut down but really want to be in love. Love involves vulnerability and being honest about who you are. Sharing yourself- the good and the bad. Think about that. Get comfortable with it. Practice it. I think that opening yourself up would do you a world of good.

Some people do have these type of symptoms without an OB and are positive for H. On the other hand, sometimes when people hear they have been exposed, they convince themselves that they have it when they don't. Like you stated, your next step would be a blood test. Although people can pipe up and say your symptoms sound H related, it wouldn't be a diagnoses. Being stuck in limbo is worse than knowing. Why not just get the test?

@seeker, I'm sorry for this poor joke, but I think I'd prefer h over not being able to taste chocolate. The horror! lol Glad things are going better for you now!

From what I understand shedding occurs where the outbreak is. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong but if he has OBs on his penis, that is the only area I would think you would have to worry about. Extended bare skin contact is fine. If he has an active outbreak just cover that outbreak area. I can't tell you how many times I've been spooned overnight while naked and it's never been an issue. Oral with condoms is truly up to you. I suggested it because you seem to be very worried about getting it, and there will be a risk. Reread WCSDancer's #3. I could not clarify it any better than she did. The water, the pool, it's all okay. Seriously.. cuddle, enjoy each other. You are doing the right thing becoming educated, but seem to be fixated on "skin to skin contact". If he has an active outbreak, cover it and abstain from sex. If you have any open wounds in an area that may come in contact with an area he has the virus in, then I would also cover and abstain. (If you shave, I wouldn't have sex (oral or otherwise) for a few days since you will have microcuts) Otherwise, don't stress so much.

I'm not a gay male, but I wanted to reply and say I would think that any information on this forum would apply to you both also. Your partner has had this for awhile, he's on suppressive meds, and you use condoms. That is all good, you've got the basics covered! If you are concerned about the boxer region, it has been mentioned that you can wear underwear to make a barrier between the areas not covered by a condom. Boxers or perhaps biker shorts? Simply brushing his skin is not going to give you the virus. Friction is usually what causes irritation and in turn outbreaks for some people. If he is wearing a condom, I do not think him being the dominant partner would matter. If the outbreaks are in the area the condom covers then you should be okay. (BUT you should always avoid sex when he is having an outbreak). Now, since you are having anal sex, the risk of microcuts or maybe even slight tearing is higher. Lots of lube is always good with an H+ partner. Again this applies here. Any dryness would cause that dreaded friction. I hesitate to suggest this because I don't want to offend, but have you thought about using/trying a female condom? I saw them suggested for anal sex for females, I'm thinking they might work for you both also. Oral sex, well.. the risk of you getting HSV1 genitally would be a concern. There are many posts about oral sex that can help you out with that. As for you getting HSV2 from performing oral on him, it's rare. It doesn't like the mouth, but it can happen. Look for the threads on oral. They will give you some stats. I think there is a video about that also. If you really want to be safe, there is oral with condoms. Go ahead and cuddle. It's not that contagious. Granted they say "skin to skin" contact, but really, its rubbing (friction) that transfers things. Ditto with showers, hot tubs etc... Does he know when he is having prodomes? Any tingling itching etc? That usually warns people when they may be shedding. Remember, avoid rough sex if possible and use lube and condoms. There is a thread about other ways to get intimate with your partner besides penetration. You might be able to get some ideas from that also. While I think it is very good that you are concerned about your sexual health, I also think you may be overthinking it. Best of luck, and I'm sure there is a gay male out there somewhere that may be able to give you clarification.

I don't really understand all the details about the shedding part yet, but since you can test positive with a swab while shedding, it makes sense that it could be carried in the saliva at that point. It's such a confusing virus, so hard to pin point all the details (and frankly they don't know them all yet, so I guess there is always that possibility of something different than the norm)

I think it becomes confusing when they talk about it being in fluids and being carried by fluids. I agree with the previous posters that it is not in fluids themselves. I think the misunderstanding comes from the fact that if you have a blister, and it opens, then the fluid from that can be "carried" (or can travel) in other fluids. @in_the_same_boat. This is a possibility that you might want to consider- Maybe your giver has HSV1 orally AND genitally. A blood test would not differentiate where exactly the virus is, just that the person is positive. Maybe..your giver never had an outbreak in the genital region, but that does not mean they do not have it there. It may be rare, but not impossible. I think it would be more impossible to get it the way you feel you did.

Ignore my comment then, I thought that you were referring to HSV1. HSV2 is usually in the genital area, and unless your genitals were in contact with hers, I'd rule that out. I agree with WCSdancer, if you contacted it at birth, they would know.

Never mind, went bad and read your post and you said they were shedding.

The CDC says this: "Fluids found in a herpes sore carry the virus, and contact with those fluids can cause infection. You can also get herpes from an infected sex partner who does not have a visible sore or who may not know he or she is infected because the virus can be released through your skin and spread the infection to your sex partner(s)." So... The way I understand that is you have to have fluid from the actual sore OR the skin to skin contact. @in_the_same_boat, you got HSV from saliva only? Are you sure your partner didn't have a sore in an area that wasn't visible and the saliva just carried the secretions to you? (Ex. throat or inside the nose)

If it were possible to pass on the antibodies to the child then that would give them more protection, perhaps you mean the virus itself? She could have given you the virus. Is this HSV1 or 2? Where are your OB's?

Were those results from an IgM or IgG test? And did they give you results like HSV1-14.50 HSV2- 14.50 or did it just say herpes 1&2? As for his chances of being of having it, that really depends. Some people get exposed and don't get it. There is a chance, yes, but I don't know what the stats would be. The doctor is wrong, you didn't know you had it, why would he?

Okay, that clears up my confusion. Since he does have oral HSV1 and you tested positive for genital HSV1 I would say that it was transferred through oral sex. Since it's an established infection for him, I would think his chance of getting it genitally is rare. His bumps are probably just bumps, but to clarify things, I would suggest you both get blood tests for both hsv1 and 2. I had the exact same situation. My husband has it orally, I had a bad genital outbreak and they swabbed him.. pointless. He was negative of course.

If you must wear them, I would stick to OB time only. Honestly, I think that's overly cautious. If this is for bathroom purposes, surely you can touch an area that does not have blisters? And I'm also going to assume the cuts are not on your fingertips? If this is for something totally different -maybe you could invest in disposable gloves or wear a condom? I'm sorry, I'm thinking friction is what you want to avoid the most, and I don't see that from simply going to the bathroom? In my opinion, washing your hands afterwards should be sufficient.

I'm confused jers. If I'm following you right, he has oral HSV1 (cold sores) and you tested positive for HSV1 genitally. Where I'm getting confused-is he currently having a genital outbreak? Were these blood tests or swabs?

@WCSdancer2010, I've read you can use alum for cankers. This is a portion of what I found: So to naturally get rid of canker sores, you can use Alum Powder, a common spice found in most kitchens. Here is how: Place a small amount of alum (about a size of a pea) directly onto the canker sore. Allow it to sit on the canker sore for 60 seconds. It does not taste good, it is quite bitter. Do not swallow the alum! After 60 seconds spit out your saliva and the alum. DO NOT RINSE YOUR MOUTH WITH WATER! Within several minutes to 24 hours the pain will disappear. The ulcer may stay for a day or two after you treat the canker sore, but the pain will be gone. If the pain is not gone after 24 hours, reapply the alum with a second application and repeat the steps above. I've personally never used it, but it might be worth a shot if the pain in unbearable.