MMissouri

I love that post also. :)

I'm a little confused. You said you both get cold sores but that you don't think you have herpes? Cold sores=herpes. If I'm understanding you right, and you both get cold sores, it's possible that you just transferred the same virus to a different area (genital). If I read the last part of your post wrong, forgive me!

Is it easier? For me it was. My situation sounds similar to yours. I married the guy I was with but things have been rocky lately, so I ask myself the same question. Should I limit myself to people with only H? Because that is what it would be doing, limiting my options. I guess that depends on what you need from your next partner. You can get emotional support from anywhere- a friend, this forum, etc. But love? Sorry, I'm not much help! All I can say is easier is not always better.

I told my mom after my diagnoses. She told my entire family. I do have family members with HSV1 but since mine was genital they saw it differently. The reaction as a whole wasn't good. Looking back, I did tell one female friend. She said she'd still sleep with me, a joke, but it made me feel a little better nonetheless.

40 here-haven't played any video games lately unless you count the wii with my girls. I do have an old odyssey system laying around somewhere (Pre-nintendo if I'm not mistaken), but I'm a fan of the games mentioned in other posts-pac man, mario, sonic, etc. We also have an old nintendo, a wii, and a PS3. My husband would kill for a PS4.. but I'm trying to hold him off for awhile lol. My music tastes vary but I'm partial to 80's and 90's. I love music, but I can not carry a tune or play an instrument. So sad! I'm originally from St. Louis but we moved to a small town up north, there isn't much to do around here. I find myself working, reading, listening to music, online, or just hanging out with my family. We bought an old broken down house and I have plans to fix it up, but lately life just gets in the way. Netflix is my escape, add me to the fan list :)

When I was in high school (early 90's) they had a slideshow presentation (parents had to sign permission slips for us to go) and it was picture after picture of the worst STD cases you can imagine. I'm still scarred by those images lol. It didn't stop me from having sex but it sure opened my eyes to the risk I was taking. I've read that it's against the law for teachers to mention condoms during health class. What in the world? I just don't understand it.

She's never had it on her mouth, but I've read oral herpes can show up in your nose. (and throat etc, since it's all connected) I love those tips! Ty!

When I realized my husband had HSV1 I figured that I had already been exposed and we didn't change anything about our sex life. If he had an active outbreak we didn't kiss on the mouth or have oral sex but there wasn't any protection used otherwise. It just didn't seem like that big of a deal. I have genital herpes now (not sure which one). I guess since we were engaged at that time, I figured that it didn't matter, we shared the virus. We've never used protection even after my diagnosis. I can only speak for myself, but I think that if I were ever to start a new relationship, I'd want that acceptance. I see all the posts about condoms (which are not 100%) and antivirals (which I understand). I guess, although this may not seem fair, I would want my partner to think I was worth the risk of getting the virus. Does that make sense? It may seem very selfish of me, but there you go.

I agree! Sometimes I wonder if they need to be more explicit and informative about this during high school health classes. Everything is so taboo lately. Just imagine how many cases they can nip in the bud if they start with the next generation. The only reason I know so much (which really isn't much at all) is because I have it, and I researched it.

I can relate to this. I hear nasty comments about our patients who get STD testing done at the hospital where I work. We do not do the testing but we send them out, and the patients call because they are frantic about their results. I can relate, apparently my coworkers can't. Recently a coworker had a cotton swab stuck up her nose and I asked what she was doing. She said it was the season for "herpbastian" to visit. Huh? I was so lost but apparently she gets cold sores in her nose. (New one for me! I looked it up and it's HSV1) Anyway, she was going on about how she must have been smacked by a dirty d*ck when she wasn't looking because she has no idea how she contacted herpes in her nose. I could tell that she was joking but yet embarrassed so I said (thanks to this forum) that it was a simple skin condition and so many people have it I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Another coworker chimed in and said she gets cold sores on her mouth. I was starting to get comfortable and said that my husband gets those, it's really more widespread than we know. Fast fwd 10 minutes and the bomb dropped...both of them started cracking jokes about genital herpes. How gross they are and thankfully they didn't have it "there". I was still feeling pretty confident so I said it's the same virus just a different location. They were not going for that.. genital herpes is just nasty- shut me right up. The next day a phlebotomist came in with her mouth broke out, instant sympathy from me...instant jokes from the others (those that had it) and the jokes were- hey, it's just a "skin condition", they'd look at me, and bust up laughing. As far as the genital herpes jokes go, a part of me thinks they are doing it because they are embarrassed because they have one- looking down on what they think makes them look better- those that have two. Anyway, I'm trying to be more confident like WCS, but I'm not there yet.

25 genital (40 now)

I can understand that. Have you spoken to the doctors about what you can expect now that you have HSV1? I think that it can cause your numbers to raise during outbreaks. I'm hoping that someone familiar with giving support steps up soon. I'm new at this (sorry). My only advice is to get as much information as you can, and speak to your girlfriend also. Only she can answer the questions you have as far as why she didn't tell you.

Can I ask how old you are? Diabetes is a little different than herpes. (It's not contagious, there is no shame associated with it, etc.)

My situation is a little similar to yours. I didn't know my partner at the time had HSV1 until months into our relationship when he had an outbreak. If you took the herpes out of the relationship, how is it? What are your feelings for her? It sounds as if you've been together for awhile. Is there a future there? I would hope that you could forgive her eventually, especially if you are still together. Have you read the E book or handout?

Are you sure it's herpes? Have you been to a doctor?

I agree with the need to educate doctors and medical professionals. Even in the lab there are judgments passed and jokes made. It is sad that the people working in the health field behave this way. How do I educate them? For this job, I've studied STD's. Viruses, bacterial infections, parasites.. It was mentioned, joked about, and glazed over. It still is a "dirty" subject. I've tried talking to my mom. She's an odd one (sigh.. lol) My girls all know about HSV1. They know their dad has it, and not to drink after him when he gets cold sores. My oldest made a joke the other day that I should get tested because if he has it, I might also. I've decided to pull her aside and tell her the truth. Does that fall into TMI? (((Hugs back at ya)))

To me it sounds like you are more angry with the fact he isn't around than the fact that he gave you herpes? Am I reading this wrong? From the information you gave about him, I think I'd be counting my blessings that one got away. He doesn't sound like a good person to make a future with, but I know that I'm looking at this from an objective standpoint and you have feelings for him. I wouldn't go to the girlfriend. There are so many different outcomes to that scenario and frankly I don't see many positives coming from it. If I were you, I would look for a different way to cope/heal. Best of luck.

One of my struggles is the lack of reliable information out there. I've always been a researcher but one site says one thing and another says another. So confusing! Another issue I have is revealing it to doctors. I've avoided going since I've had my girls. 13 years now, I just can't bring myself to go. I recently started working in the medical field (MLT), so any testing I have is going through the hands of a coworker/fellow classmate. I know these are issues I need to get over. You are too funny! My mom had a cold sore on her mouth today! I didn't say a word, however, when she drank out of my coffee- so many poor jokes came to mind lol. It's just the stigma associated with the "genital" part of it all. I don't know how many people I know that have HSV1 (although they just say cold sores) and yet they look down on HSV2 people. I hope your outbreak goes away quickly! Thanks for the warm welcome :)

Hello everyone! I'm glad I found the website! I'm probably what you would classify as a veteran. I had my first (genital) outbreak a little over 15 years ago, and I still have issues dealing with it. I'm hoping that joining this forum will help me get over them. I'll start with the admission that HSV was not my first STD. HPV was. Scared me into regular STD testing and I thought I was good to go. My husband has HSV1. I didn't know this until about 6 months into our relationship, when I noticed he was getting cold sores. He admitted he had problems with them since he was a child. A few months later I knew something wasn't right with me- I was doubled over in pain and the lymph nodes in my groin were so swollen. I visit to the doctor confirmed my suspicions of herpes. I was shocked when they said that regardless of his having HSV1 I could have had herpes all along. (Because as many of you know, they don't test for that) So, here I am. I have no idea if I have HSV1 or 2. I have so many questions about it. Although I've had the virus for so long, I haven't ever discussed it with anyone other than telling my mom after I was diagnosed- and she told my entire family-so that they could clean their toilet seats after I visited ya know? I've been reading your posts for weeks and finally got the courage to join. It's such a relief to read your stories. Even though you know there are others out there that have it, it's still nice to have a confirmation that you're not alone.