kaybee

Also it's not the same bumps as originally I feel like I've had them awhile and they're hardly noticeable so I haven't thought much about it but now I'm obsessed. I think I've gotten new ones as others dissapeared over the course of the year. I regularly do a lot of things that could spread them (shave my thighs/groin, use the same towel, jacuzzi, workout on yoga mats/bikes..) but everything I've read say that they are usually sexually transmitted in young adults. I'm going insane and there's no forum or anything for help with this and everything online just says they'll go away (but new ones may come). I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

Hi everyone I know no one on here is a doctor, so this is a long shot but I was hoping someone might have some advice or experience. A year ago (about the same time I contracted h) I noticed some tiny pearly bumps on my vulva area. I wrote them off as trauma/herpes/shaving bumps or god knows what. Now that I'm really comfortable with having h and know my body well I noticed that I have a couple of these same bumps on my inner thigh now. They're hardly noticeable but bother me. After thorough research, I'm 99.99 percent sure that they are mulluscium contagium (beinin skin bumps like warts that your body should heal with time, common in kids and sexually active young adults) I don't want to go to the doctor (and really can't afford it--college is expensive) so Last night I decided to pop them sterilize them and apply alcohol and apple cider vinegar (thanks to internet advice) and now they are red and flat. I'm hoping the skin will heal and it'll be the end of this. Sorry for the long/gross/unrelated to H story but I'm thinking my h giver is the culprit and maybe someone else has some experience with MC as well that can help me. It's so frustrating to always seem to have a new issue... Thanks in advance <3

I've tried to no avail :( one thing that does help me is alternating between applying a really cold wash cloth or ice wrapped in a washcloth and a cold, damp tea bag.

So it's basically lube that helps prevent the spread of disease? So another way for us to protect hsv negative partners and decrease the stigma, awesome :)

Good luck! You are so an incredible and inspiring person and have made such a big difference in my life and countless others by always replying on the forums and sharing your wisdom and tough love. You deserve to meet an amazing man! Love and positive vibes from california <3

Thanks for sharing this made my day :)

Hi everyone I'm in a bit of a mess of my own doing and not sure who else I can openly discuss this with... I contracted hsv2 a little over a year ago after being raped. My boyfriend and I had been doing long distance and having a turbulent time. We were extremely on and off. After the incident, I told him my symptoms and diagnosis but I did not tell him that I had been raped. I was unable to fully accept what had happened to me, I couldn't admit it to myself let alone to someone else. We ended up having sex a month after my diagnosis (he was fully aware of the risks) and I passed it to him... It was probably too close to my first ob/I didn't know my own symptoms (I was not aware I was having an ob and didn't know anything about suppressive therapy or asymptotic shedding). Regardless, it was really hard for him to accept and he refused to discuss it or read anything for help despite me begging him. I didn't want him to see herpes as a dirty thing and wanted him to love himself completely. After his diagnoses and his struggle with coping I was very frustrated and on edge. It's not fun for someone to constantly say how disgusting herpes is when you both have it and you're trying to focus on acceptance. His refusal to accept it was a huge strain on our relationship. I tried printing and giving him literature and nothing worked, he refused to discuss it without shutting down or getting extremely angry at me. A few months later he broke up with me because he didn't like that I wouldn't talk about how I contacted hsv and I drunkenly (I know that's so cowardly and wrong) admitted to being raped and explained that i was just unable to accept it and I felt like it had been my fault. I wasn't sure how to tell him because our relationship was already so unstable, I just wanted us to be happy. After a bit of time we were able to work through things and make up, he forgave me and I felt like he understood. He was slowly a little more able to discuss having hsv and seemed to grasp that life wasn't over. He still occasionally (usually due to a joke or media reference) got extremely sad and wouldn't talk to me, but I felt like it was my job to stay patient. About a year after getting back together (today) he broke up with me. He says that he can't stop feeling like I'm lying too him. I don't think he believes I was raped and says he constant fear that I'm cheating on him. He also doesn't see me as pure or good enough because I slept with someone else (despite being raped). I'm so depressed and I know this breakup is my fault. I should have been honest with him from the beginning. Now I've lost not only someone I've been with for years but someone who accepted my diagnosis and gave me a chance (even though I failed to protect him). I feel like a horrible person for hurting him and putting him through this, he didn't deserve any of it and I would do anything to go back in time and have not slept with him after getting diagnosed. I'm just so lost and confused and don't want to be thrown back into the dating pool (college is not a fun place to find a relationship these days and casual sex is out of the question..) even tho I know that's far into the future because I can't imagine being with anyone else. Breaking up is hard to do but it's even worse when it's your own fault. Thanks for reading, I really needed to vent in a safe place...

Hi! I'm looking for something to help with pre ob itchiness as that's my main symptom. Epsom salt is really difficult (I only have a community shower situation being in college) I searched the forum and saw Harry mentioned that aloe cream is really helpful but I'm not sure where to buy it or what brand is best...I'm assuming it would need to be 100% aloe but I've only seen 100 percent aloe gel not cream/lotion? If anyone else has any other tips for itchiness please let me know :) thanks!

Dancer basically covered everything but I wanted to add, as a volleyball player myself, that when I wear spandex I've found that applying some baby powder to your lady bits keeps everything dry and comfortable down there until you get a chance to shower :) I loved reading your post by the way! your calm perspective is so refreshing, hugs!

Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I are both hsv2 positive for over a year now. I've heard that you shouldn't have sex during an out break to prevent spreading it, but I've also read that once you've built up antibodies you can't get "more" of the virus. So my question is, is it safe for us to have sex when one of us is having an OB? Usually he wants to during obs because they're very small and on his balls or base. If he's not in pain I don't mind but my obs are really minor/occasional and in one spot so I would hate to spread it or give myself an ob. Thanks for the help <3

Hi everyone, I've been quiet on the forums lately but I have been reading nearly every night for about a year now. Last February I was diagnosed with hsv2 under pretty horrific circumstances. I have honestly never felt so alone or scared in my life. My first outbreak was so bad that I could barely walk due to the intense back pain and threw up all over myself while driving to the hospital. Puke covered and hysterically crying I was essentially told it looks like herpes and handed Valtrax for the road. Looking back on that time I had reason to hurt, but the fact that I as an otherwise healthy, privileged college student with loving friends and family felt suicidal over a skin condition is ludacris. I let societies disgusting stereotypes define my self worth, i was unloveable, dirty, and destined to be alone. I was embarrassed and angry, I thought i was too young, too careful, too "normal" to "deserve this". Finding this site in April changed, I can even say saved, my life. I can not thank Adrial enough for creating this community, the blog posts and pod casts and especially for the beyond helpful disclosure guide. Adrial told me "YOU get to be in control of how this changes you or not". His words gave me the strength to learn to separate the virus from my feelings. I learned that it's a mostly harmless skin condition, not the plague. I can proudly say that, though it was a process, I am completely okay with my status. It's a part of me, nothing to be ashamed of. I have disclosed to my family, the hardest part being my younger sister who I know idolizes me. I explained the truth to her about herpes, all of the typical disclosure info, and explained that it can happen to anyone condom or not. I told her that she should do everything she can to protect herself, but sex is always risk. An often beautiful fun risk that I was in no means telling her to be afraid of. Most importantly I explained that she can always come to me if she needs guidance about anything and that if she does contract herpes or anything else she is still the same beautiful strong person. The way she looked at me with such pride gave me the courage to disclose to friends from childhood and even college friends, always explaining the risk and facts. Each person has told me that they never knew anything beyond that the Virus is for life and they assumed a condom protected them. I've even made one of my best friends from herpes. An acquaintance was hysterical waiting for her std test results after unprotected sex. In an effort to calm her and explain that it wasn't a big deal, I found myself disclosing my status. She was shocked, she essentially knew nothing about herpes and has told me that she now knows the Importance of protecting herself and is no longer afraid. She has been a rock for me and has since told me that I'm the bravest, most positive person she knows and that while she's not religious, she truley believes god saves his hardest battles for his toughest soldiers. Nothing has ever meant more to me. I hope that I can make a difference in a few peoples lives, weather that's in the form of protecting themselves or being understanding to others with stds through informing others of the facts with and without disclosing directly. Again, I just wanted to say thank you Adrial. You are honestly an angel, I know you have touched the lives of many vulnerable heartbroken people with your kindness. I have no idea where I would be without this site and your advice. It's been amazing watching this forum grow this past year and I hope one day I can inspire others the way you and many more active posters have. *heart* lots of love

I randomly get clitorial pain And swollen pain in upper legs :( usually I don't end up getting an on tho, I think everyone's different but I tend to get these symptoms without outbreaks

my bf and I both have genital hsv 2. We don't have sex during outbreaks, mainly because it would hurt!! But other than during actual obs its not an issue! we both love oral and neither of us has autoinnoculated it to our mouths (I think the odds are only like 1 or 2 percent--so its obviouslyy worth it) and I always get obs in the exact same small spot and in having sex with him for almost a year now the virus hasn't spread anywhere else. I wouldn't worry but remember to let your body rest during obs! also be grateful that you both have it and don't have to worry about giving it to him! good luck :)

I was terrified to shave for weeks after my first outbreak, and when I finally did again I felt like a recovered a small peice of my self and my sanity! I shave all the time now, it doesn't trigger outbreaks at all for me. Of course I avoid it at all costs if I'm having an outreak lol. I wear things all the time too, again not a trigger. I even wear them when I have an on during the day but at night I like to sleep in mens boxers because its almost like not wearing any underwear and sooo comfy :) good luck loves, don't let herpes ruin your normal ruitines! It's hard at first but it all becomes your new normal. Love and namaste <3

Thanks for the info! I definitely want to tell him first. I just want to get all of my facts straight and determine if I should go on anti-virals in addition to condoms if things work out!

Hey everyone, I haven't told a potential partner I have herpes yet, but I met someone who I can see going in that direction. I was thinking if we get to a place where I would want to have sex if using a condom is enough to protect him? Should I go on antivirals even though I get few outbreaks and will use condoms every time (an extra layer against pregnancy!)? Thanks I just really want to prevent spreading it to someone else! :(

Herpes lives in your nerves not your immune system so it should not have an effect. What can have an affect is your general health, Try to eat raw and organic whenever possible, exercise almost every day, and take a daily vitamin. More importantly remember to relaxxxx, herpes isn't the root of all sickness a fact I learned the hard way. Much love <3

During my first herpes outbreak I had some strange side effects like tingling/numbness that I thought was from the meds, but I've taken them since with no problem. I don't take them daily only when I feel an outbreak coming and it usually prevents it all together. A huge part of outbreaks is stress so even though its hard right now you need to do things to help yourself relax and stay calm. It sounds like you're already super healthy so combining the relaxation and episodic therapy may be enough. If not, I would give daily virals a chance, I doubt the strange symptoms were caused by the meds it was probably just a side effect of your first outbreak. Good luck and stay strong <3

I take a daily mega strength women's gnc vitamin and just eat as much organic raw food as possible and workout whenever I can and i experience very few outbreaks if any. I tried lysine and did not feel it made a difference for me. some people say to avoid nuts alcohol and chocolate, while others say it makes no difference. Theres really no explicit science backing any natural herpes remedies so the best you can do is keep up your immune system! Just live in a healthy way as you can and you should be totally fine

I've been really sad lately about my diagnosis. I know its easy to say one day someone will accept me and itll all work out and to look at all of the successful disclosure stories..but Im only 19. Im in college and I cant just go around telling people I have herpes. Im terrified of passing the virus on to others but i want to beable to have sex and date. I feel like I lost a piece of my youth. sometimes i just want to breakdown and scream. I feel like im way too young to have a life time std. I see jokes everywhere...I just wish i had the option of living my life freely and not having to protect others from myself. I always used condoms and would if i had sex with someone but with viral shedding i dont know if its worth the risk. Im even more afraid of developing feelings for someone at school because how can i tell someone that i have herpes? its not only the risk of rejection but the risk of them telling others. Sometimes people you would think would be compassionate make herpes jokes, its almost in our culture to look down on "dirty std ridden people". it just kills me because im not a promiscuous person. I slept with one boy with a condom and got this. Sorry everyone i just needed to vent, all of my close family and friends know my diagnoses but im afraid to tell them my fears about developing a relationship or having a sexual life because i always stress to them how normal i am despite having hsv2. I dont want anyone to look down on me or see me as a victim. I want to feel comfortable telling potential partners that i have hsv2 and that its a really low risk of transmission with precautions but the social stigma is so rampant that it feels overwhelming, especially as a 19 year old college student. I feel like if i was an adult who went on mature dates it would be a different story but im just a kid at a school known for its hookup culture... im sorry everyone, i usually try to stay upbeat and look at the positive side of this diagnosis but im just starting to feel like a victim of this virus, i lost my crazy college years and potentially my reputation if i do the right thing by disclosing. I just want to cry the more i think about it.

Oh regret. I'm sorry your feeling this way my love but you didn't let anyone down. It's natural and healthy to have sex and you did nothing wrong. I'm 19 and found out recently, it's a huge growing experience for anyone but especially being so young. while my heart hurts for you i can see that You already sound brave and I'm so proud of you for researching and reaching out to others for more support. Remember this virus doesn't define you and stay knowledgeable on it to keep yourself healthy and prevent transmission to others! Xoxoxo

I think the chances of spreading it without genital to genial contact are really low because the virus only lives for like seconds in the air (just like how it's hard to spread on your own body through touch!) but there's also always a tiny risk. I would just be honest with the guy and tell him that's why you wanted to wait to go further. Best of luck

I have told family, close friends, and my on and off again boyfriend about having h and not one has taken it badly. Shocked at first maybe, but when you disclose with confidence and with the true facts people are always really surprised about how not big of a deal it is! One of my good friends (who gets cold sores orally) exclaimed that shed rather have it genitally so noone can see it! I laughed for a long time about that one haha but seriously I've heard this over and over and it's the truth: how someone responds to an H disclosure says more about him or her as a person not about you. h isn't going away, all you can do is learn all you can, be honest, and proceed to reap the benifits of knowing your relationships are genuine and understanding. Good luck love I promise it gets easier with time!

Lara--personal question but were you able to give birth naturally or did you have to have a c section because of H? The fear of Child birth problems has been on my mind ever since I was diagnosed because I've always wanted a family and I'm just not sure what to expect

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way...we've all been there. I found out months ago and I'm only 19 as well so a lot of the same fears went through my mind. First off, you are beautiful and smart and the exact same person you were before this diagnosis. There is tons of information on this forum about how to disclose to new partners and I think you can even Skype personally with Adrial to get help! It's important to remember that a man rejecting you over herpes says a lot more about them than having herpes says about you. It's a simple extremely common virus that is sometimes inconvient but something you'll honestly forget about with time. The transmission rates are surprisingly low if protection such as a condom and or suppressive therapy is used (check out the disclosure fact sheet here http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout ) Also, many many women give birth with herpes!! there's no chance of passing the virus on through natural birth if you are not having an out break (and you'll be on suppressive meds!) also if you are having an outbreak when you're supposed to give birth you can get a c section! While it's scary and hard to adjust at first all you have is a virus, it's the same as cold sores but in a different location! the faster you realize this the closer you will be to finding a loving relationship built on trust and having the family you always wanted The best advice I can give you as someone who was in your exact same position is to learn all you can about hsv2 from trustworthy cites such as this one and truely think about your self worth. Do you truely believe you're worth less than a non life threatening occasionally pimple down there? No? Good then neither will any man that is lucky enough to have you one day. A little bit of knowledge and compassion go a long way. I'm sending tons of love and support your way Hun >:D< oh and as for telling your giver, regardless of if he believes you or twists the situation you should atleast consider telling him so that he can be tested in order to protect other women he sleeps with in the future so this doesn't happen again to someone else..it's something to think about