41, no symptoms ever, but tested positive for HSV2

[eimajk1]

I was married for 12 years, my husband passed away 1 1/2 years ago. I am confident that both of us were faithful during those years, but our history before we met is questionable. I started seeing someone a few months ago, and he told me he had been tested for everything, requested I do the same before we took things to the next level. I have never had symptoms of anything, but I agreed, thinking everything would come back fine. I do know that some things can go years without showing symptoms. I tested negative for everything except HSV1 and HSV2 - I have both. My doctor actually tried to talk me out of getting the HSV test, since I have never had any symptoms. She told me that outside of an actual outbreak, even a blood test can be inclusive. I thought it was going to be more of a reassurance that I didn't have anything, but instead, it has now caused me nothing but problems.

 

What are the chances that this might be a false positive ( I know, grasping here.) My husband and I both had been with 5+ people before we met, so I know that increased both of our exposure level. Yet, neither one of us ever had an outbreak.

 

I'm a little devastated, and honestly, wish I hadn't even been tested, because then I wouldn't know. But, I want to be responsible too, just not sure what to do now? I have not disclosed yet to my potential partner, I just don't know what to do.

[Username]

Sorry you are going through this. What you are dealing with now is exactly why doctors are hesitant to taste in the absence of symptoms. They know it is medically insignificant but socially difficult. On that same token, if everyone tested regardless of symptoms the general population would come to realize how prevalent HSV is and that would do wonders for the stigma.

 

I've been with my husband for 15 years. We've had lots of wonderful oral and vaginal sex. Neither of us have ever had any symptoms of HSV orally or genitally and out of nowhere I get an out break. I tested IgG negative so the assumption is my hubs is an asymptomatic carrier, something I didn't even know was possible.

 

Has your future partner been tested for HSV? It's possible he went to get an STD panel but was never tested for it. So what to do? I don't know the right answer, or if there even is one. I'm not experienced with this enough to offer that. If it were me, I'd tell my future partner. If he has a problem with it the next one probably won't. And on the bright side, you don't have to worry about catching HSV in the future. (:

[eimajk1]

He has been tested for HSV and is negative. I really do feel like my HSV 2 positive result has changed the way he feels about me. He doesn't really want to have anything to do with me anymore.

 

I am glad to hear that you and your husband have been together for 15 years, no symptoms. It gives me hope.

[MakingIT2017]

What kind of test did you take and what were your numbers? I’ve read that IGM tests are not reliable. I’m 42 and didn’t have any symptoms when I was tested for everything and BAM...positive for HSV 2 with index number of 5.8. My test was an IGG. My only symptom is some itchiness like the beginning of a yeast infection. I would have never thought that would be a symptom of the virus until I tested positive. The guy I was seeing and also intimate with at the time wanted nothing more to do with me again like your friend. It sucks but it also lets you know what kind of man you were dealing with. Check the type of tests they gave you.

 

[optimist]

@eimajk1 My story is similar. Divorced in my mid-40s after a 16 year relationship in which HSV2 was not on our radars. Did a full panel when I started dating again and was positive for HSV2. This type specific blood test wasn't even available when I was single before, so I might've had it for decades for all I know. My gynecologist included it in my panel and then my PCP told me I should never have tested. Additionally, my gynecologist was completely unaware that any potential dating partners would be concerned about this.

 

The rate of HSV2 among women your age is very high and 80-90% of those infected are unaware. Similarly, 70% of those with HSV1 are unaware they are infected. In Terri Warren's book about herpes, she cited a study that indicated 47% of widowed spouses under the age of 50 were infected with HSV2.

 

Having said that, if you haven't looked at the antibody levels, I'd recommend checking to see if the levels are at least 3.5. Values below 3.5 can be false positives while values above 3.5 are almost always true positives.

 

Also, please know that most people *are* accepting. I did experience exactly what you are describing now with the person I was dating when I tested positive, but I've mostly encountered acceptance since then.

[Sunset]

Hey - I understand as my BO came as a total surprise as I had tested negative twice, 2-3 months prior on standard testing. I always test 1x per year, regardless. I think I'm one of those asymptomatic carriers - but not any more.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this and the end result. However, the fact you never had any issues is a major bonus. Run with that fact. Your body is just that strong and healthy. A very good thing!

 

4 months in for me, the shock is wearing off - just want to get things under control as that is my issue, I can't make it go away as my body has autoimmune issues and somehow 2017 they hit hard or something as I had 3 bad incurable issues crop up.

 

Love your body for what it's able to take on and soon your mind and feelings about it all will change for the positive. Dating - I've not gone that road yet as I can't even have sex with myself lol.... but I'm closer to being ready and honestly, I truly feel very strong in the sense of, if it don't work for a new partner / lover / fwb.... no problem!

 

Big Hugs!

[eimajk1]

I had the IgG test done, but my doctor told me she wasn't aware of the number - and had no way of telling what it was. I'm just confused. I've been trying to read up on the internet, but there seems to be so much conflicting information out there.

[optimist]

@eimajk1 Because your doctor gave you incomplete information, it's impossible to know if either of your results fell into a category in which many false positive occur (values between 1.1 and 3.5). The CDC recommends that people who have results in that range do confirmatory testing, preferably by Western Blot, but I can't say if that makes sense for you since I don't know what the values were. Personally, in your position, I would ask the doctor for a copy of the test results to see for myself.

 

If you're outside of the U.S., it may work differently, I don't know.

[eimajk1]

I'm thinking of going to a different doctor. just need to find the right one. I have friends who work at both of the hospitals/clinics close to me, and both work in the record keeping area. I'm still trying to cope with this myself, let alone someone else knowing. From everything I have read, it is very possible that I really am positive - I know it can lay dormant for years. I was with my husband for 12 years, either one of us could have been a carrier. I'm just freaking out because of the stigma that goes with it, but the more I read, the more I realize how common it is.

[Username]

Another thought...

 

The majority of people have HSV1. Something like 70% or more. So if you are indeed positive for HSV1 that's very typical. A high IgG value for HSV1 can often cause a false positive for HSV2. There is some cross reactivity. So getting the values would give you some information. If your HSV1 is high and HSV2 is in that equivocal range there's a good chance it's a false positive.

[optimist]

@Username The cross reactivity issue applies to the IgM test, not the IgG test.

[MakingIT2017]

I'm thinking of going to a different doctor. just need to find the right one. I have friends who work at both of the hospitals/clinics close to me, and both work in the record keeping area. I'm still trying to cope with this myself, let alone someone else knowing. From everything I have read, it is very possible that I really am positive - I know it can lay dormant for years. I was with my husband for 12 years, either one of us could have been a carrier. I'm just freaking out because of the stigma that goes with it, but the more I read, the more I realize how common it is.

 

Are you able to do testing online anonymously where you live? I’ve heard of people going that route with no issues. Definitely get a type specific iGg test that provide your values. You may fall into the false positive range.

 

 

[Username]

@Username The cross reactivity issue applies to the IgM test, not the IgG test.

 

Good to know. I read somewhere that there was but I must have been misinformed. Thanks!

[eimajk1]

Another question, has anyone experienced just "phantom" symptoms? I have felt some itching and slight discomfort since finding out my results, but still not an outbreak. I will admit that I do shave on a regular basis, and that sometimes can cause irritation. But, since finding out my positive result, I have had more itching and very slight pain - I'm thinking it might just be psychological, but I don't know. Again, never had an outbreak, at least that I know of. I had the blood test done for peace of mind, but I actually understand a little now why my doctor discouraged me from having it done. I'd love to think I don't really have this, and it was just a false positive, but I also know that it's more than likely I do. I'm new to this, but the amount of information provided on this site is wonderful.

[Guy84]

Do you have Quest Diagonistic in your area? Online STD websites uses it, and some websites are partially covered by insurance (I used STD Express). My results came with an Igg score (15+)....but had no symptoms. If you want to, do another test that gives you details. You don’t need a new doctor, don’t waste your time. I still regret getting tested, but it is what it is. Better to now worry about disclosing versus future wife thinking I was unfaithful. Quite honestly OP, you or your partner probably got it before you were dating. I wouldn’t dwell on how it was received.

[Bambina3]

I am 50, and went 30 plus year without a single symptom or outbreak and I am positive for both 1 and 2.

Like yourself, I tragically lost my husband..that’s why I have hardly been here....I am not concerned about my status turning someone away...in the beginning, when this became a reality for me, I was beyond devastated and wouldn’t tell anyone.

[mstanya1234]

Hey what meds are you on? Are you having symptoms now after 30 years