How do you move on from someone who knowingly transmitted GHSV1 to me and have no regret

[Anomyous12]

Hello good peeps

So it has been 5 months since out breakup. The girl I was with did not disclose she had recently got GHSV1 in sep 2018 and we met October 2018. She hide it from me for 3 months, was not on supressive therapy, did not insist to use protection and was not aware of the risks. She just wanted to find someone who she can love and have sex with.

I liked her and the relationship was going strong. I met her family friends and we hanged out pretty much everyday and did lot of things together. When she told me in Dec I freaked out but after gathering information I decided to stay and support her and asked her to take meds and we use protection. Well that stressed her out and she dumped and ghosted me. Soon after a week I got symptoms and was positive for GHSV1. When I reached out to to her with multiple calls, emails and texts she finally talked but did not feel sorry and asked me to move on with life  and let go. I had to go through mutiple doctor visits, medicines counseling alone. She did not care if I lived or die. She had the audacity to tell she will date other people and move on with her life and said not to contact her again ever. 

I just feel that she infected me for having sex after her diagnosis and I supported her when she opened up and when tables turned and I got infected she ran away with no responsibility or care because she thought sex will be difficult with this guy now. I feel abused, used up and thrown out after the job was done.

I also told her this is not right and inhumane and cruel and she can be in legal trouble for this. She said do what you want but I am not gonna talk or respond anymore. After this I got into depression and my symptoms got worse. 

I just don't know how can a person who on e liked and was seeing a future with you be so cruel and in-compassionate? I want to know how should I deal with this and confront her or I should just move on? 

I need advice on how to cope to bring peace to myself as I cannot forgive myself that I was cheated and abused to left infected

[sadguy2019]

18 minutes ago, Robdarko said:

Hello good peeps

So it has been 5 months since out breakup. The girl I was with did not disclose she had recently got GHSV1 in sep 2018 and we met October 2018. She hide it from me for 3 months, was not on supressive therapy, did not insist to use protection and was not aware of the risks. She just wanted to find someone who she can love and have sex with.

I liked her and the relationship was going strong. I met her family friends and we hanged out pretty much everyday and did lot of things together. When she told me in Dec I freaked out but after gathering information I decided to stay and support her and asked her to take meds and we use protection. Well that stressed her out and she dumped and ghosted me. Soon after a week I got symptoms and was positive for GHSV1. When I reached out to to her with multiple calls, emails and texts she finally talked but did not feel sorry and asked me to move on with life  and let go. I had to go through mutiple doctor visits, medicines counseling alone. She did not care if I lived or die. She had the audacity to tell she will date other people and move on with her life and said not to contact her again ever. 

I just feel that she infected me for having sex after her diagnosis and I supported her when she opened up and when tables turned and I got infected she ran away with no responsibility or care because she thought sex will be difficult with this guy now. I feel abused, used up and thrown out after the job was done.

I also told her this is not right and inhumane and cruel and she can be in legal trouble for this. She said do what you want but I am not gonna talk or respond anymore. After this I got into depression and my symptoms got worse. 

I just don't know how can a person who on e liked and was seeing a future with you be so cruel and in-compassionate? I want to know how should I deal with this and confront her or I should just move on? 

I need advice on how to cope to bring peace to myself as I cannot forgive myself that I was cheated and abused to left infected

I'm sorry that you came across someone who was so rude, careless, an unapologetic. So much evil in the world, that people have no regard for others. I think I replied to your topic last month, but let me reiterate my response.

GHSV1 is not the same as GHSV2! at least in an isolated situation. You got infected like many adults because you lacked hsv1 antibodies that are usually acquired as a child getting coldsores. If you were in room full of 10 people, 5 out of 10 have the same virus as you. whether or not its on their lips or is nobodies business but their own.

The disclosure for future partners is simple, try it on tinder: " FYI, I have a history of coldsores, ever have one?" 

You cannot infect someone w GHSV1 if they have a history of coldsores!  take comfort in that.

Take an STI Panel that includes HSV2, A list of Neg results are always comforting to future partners knowing you prac safe sex.

Hope that helps ❤️ 

[Downfall]

Sorry about that I guess you should expose her to her family and friends because she is rude and disrespectful and disgusting person check her Facebook and expose her you would feel better am going to do the same but am taking time so she (the girl woh intentionality lies to me and infected me) would forget me and am going to get revenge by exposing her because she was so bad and disrespectful as well.

[mfl650]

You probably already know this, but its both of your responsibilities to use protection. Maybe taking some ownership of the situation will help you to move on?

[J.L2018]

On 5/17/2019 at 7:18 PM, Downfall said:

Sorry about that I guess you should expose her to her family and friends because she is rude and disrespectful and disgusting person check her Facebook and expose her you would feel better am going to do the same but am taking time so she (the girl woh intentionality lies to me and infected me) would forget me and am going to get revenge by exposing her because she was so bad and disrespectful as well.

I’m sorry but this is a very bad way to deal with it! It’s bad that she didn’t tell him till it was too late but having HSV of any kind isn’t the end of the world, outing her to all her family and friends out of spite and bad blood, could be the end of hers. People talk, it’ll get into the wrong hands, so if you want to take revenge and out her to everyone that she knows just makes you equally as disgusting as you believe she is, whilst also creating a bad stigma towards having HSV! Please think about the real consequences theses actions could have before promoting this response !! 

Also getting revenge won’t make you feel better, because once it’s all said and done, it doesn’t change the fact that you have this ! Instead of focusing on the revenge, focus on accepting what you have and keeping healthy and stress free to combat the symptom and live a happier healthier life ! That’s the best option, be the bigger person and focus on your health and happiness, without sabotaging someone else's.   

[Vibes90]

Easy to say for a person that it’s not the end of the world for somebody who doesn’t have daily nerve pain. Bitch was/is cruel she doesn’t care about Rob for her it was just sex while for him it was serious relationship. 

[J.L2018]

1 hour ago, Vibes90 said:

Easy to say for a person that it’s not the end of the world for somebody who doesn’t have daily nerve pain. Bitch was/is cruel she doesn’t care about Rob for her it was just sex while for him it was serious relationship. 

That’s a very bold statement for someone who doesn’t know my situation! You don’t know who I am , so I don’t get how you can even assume that ! I’ve had a massive struggle and I’ve been to the lowest points where I thought it was the end , I still struggle  with this but I’ve learnt that with a positive attitude it isn’t the end of the world! 

I’m also not saying what she did is ok , because it’s not, but expecting to get revenge and feeling better as a result isn’t going to happen, what I’m saying is to let all the resentment and hate go, it isn’t going to change anything , apart from harbour stress which will cause more outbreaks ! Take it how you want but by getting revenge you’re just lowering yourself to that level and people will see that as bullying if you post it on social media, so if you want to do that just know that you are accepting any of the repercussions that come from it ! 

I got this in pretty much the same way and situation , once I let go of the hate, resentment and what ifs it honestly took away the power HSV held over me and I was able to develop a more positive attitude, I can’t emphasise this enough ! 

I’m definitely not arguing, but I just want you to really understand the potential consequences this advice could have on everyone involved.  This situation happens very frequently in people who have HSV and people who don’t and it always feels horrific, so to acquire HSV under these circumstances I can fully relate and understand the impact this does have! In order to find peace though you need to understand what it is , how you can try and reduce the impact it has on your life and the importance of accepting this isn’t going anywhere, so don’t live in the past of regret and sadness because this will cause more and more outbreaks and symptoms ( it’s a vicious cycle that you need to get out of )  revenge isn’t the answer to finding peace , acceptance and a positive outlook is! 

Start looking at healthy foods, foods to potentially avoid, vitamin supplements, medication if that’s the route you want to go down etc , doing this worked for me as it allowed me to feel like I had a bit more control over it.

[(frustrated)]

On 5/2/2019 at 3:02 PM, sadguy2019 said:

I'm sorry that you came across someone who was so rude, careless, an unapologetic. So much evil in the world, that people have no regard for others. I think I replied to your topic last month, but let me reiterate my response.

GHSV1 is not the same as GHSV2! at least in an isolated situation. You got infected like many adults because you lacked hsv1 antibodies that are usually acquired as a child getting coldsores. If you were in room full of 10 people, 5 out of 10 have the same virus as you. whether or not its on their lips or is nobodies business but their own.

The disclosure for future partners is simple, try it on tinder: " FYI, I have a history of coldsores, ever have one?" 

You cannot infect someone w GHSV1 if they have a history of coldsores!  take comfort in that.

Take an STI Panel that includes HSV2, A list of Neg results are always comforting to future partners knowing you prac safe sex.

Hope that helps ❤️ 

I was diagnosed with GHSV1 in March and have been having almost constant OBs since, so that's not necessarily true. 

[Tk2019]

Well this post took an unexpected turn. I was in a somewhat similar situation (the person who gave me hsv 2 just stopped talking to me cause I have hsv 2) and the best thing I did was seek counseling. If it is available to you, please do it. I have dealt with a lot of trauma in my past (everything from child sexual abuse to physical abuse to legal problems) and I thought I was pretty darn tough until this. It's a lot for a person to go through. 

[Michgirl73]

I had the same thing happened to me my ex gave it to me knowing he had it and then dropped within a month later. I feel the same way it’s not easy dealing with this and trying to move forward like they did nothing.. I asked my ex before hand since we had been separated for awhile. I believe karma is a bitch and they will get theirs in the end. It sucks.. because I’m scared to date and tell someone about this virus because I’m embarrassed and scared to be rejected.. but I will not put someone through what I went through. I will disclose even if it’s hard and hurts because nobody deserves this!! 

[Anomyous12]

Hello All

Thank you for all of your replies. I have been to support groups and have voiced my story there as well. I appreciate your views. 

I don't want to call her out in public but at the same time I have been through a lot of mental and physical pain. This has definitely affected my future for ltr and I feel betrayed abused and used up just because she got it from someone and felt like she will not be loved again. So she went back to normal dating and did not disclose because she wanted to have sex and infected me. I still tried to convince her that this is not right but apparently her friends thought this is the right thing to do and leave him. So the way it ended made me feel that I was just used as a puppet and the anxiety is way high. I can't do what she did and that means a long way to get a partner with more rejection being a guy it definitely sucks. 

And what bothered me more is that she was cold hearted, in-compassionate and ruthless. She said she will date other people and she was back there on the dating scene having fun as if nothing has happened. 

I honestly have a very hard time moving on as we live quite close. I just don't know how to tell her what damage she has done and I feel like she is having some mental issues that she does not understand the severity and stigma of this. 

[Michgirl73]

17 minutes ago, Robdarko said:

Hello All

Thank you for all of your replies. I have been to support groups and have voiced my story there as well. I appreciate your views. 

I don't want to call her out in public but at the same time I have been through a lot of mental and physical pain. This has definitely affected my future for ltr and I feel betrayed abused and used up just because she got it from someone and felt like she will not be loved again. So she went back to normal dating and did not disclose because she wanted to have sex and infected me. I still tried to convince her that this is not right but apparently her friends thought this is the right thing to do and leave him. So the way it ended made me feel that I was just used as a puppet and the anxiety is way high. I can't do what she did and that means a long way to get a partner with more rejection being a guy it definitely sucks. 

And what bothered me more is that she was cold hearted, in-compassionate and ruthless. She said she will date other people and she was back there on the dating scene having fun as if nothing has happened. 

I honestly have a very hard time moving on as we live quite close. I just don't know how to tell her what damage she has done and I feel like she is having some mental issues that she does not understand the severity and stigma of this. 

I understand and can completely relate my ex got me back to turn around and infect me and then dropped me and went back to his ex where he turned around and got married to her. Here I am almost a year later haven’t been able to get back into the dating scene because I’m so scared. I feel like my life was taken from me.. my body took the virus bad. I feel better now but it’s been a hard road with it and also dealing with depression. If u ever need to chat please feel free to reach out to me. This shit is hard to deal with.. I hate myself for believing him and thinking he was actually being genuine and thought he loved me!! I feel I’m the one suffering and he just goes on with life like it’s nothing.. 😔

[Downfall]

1 hour ago, Robdarko said:

Hello All

Thank you for all of your replies. I have been to support groups and have voiced my story there as well. I appreciate your views. 

I don't want to call her out in public but at the same time I have been through a lot of mental and physical pain. This has definitely affected my future for ltr and I feel betrayed abused and used up just because she got it from someone and felt like she will not be loved again. So she went back to normal dating and did not disclose because she wanted to have sex and infected me. I still tried to convince her that this is not right but apparently her friends thought this is the right thing to do and leave him. So the way it ended made me feel that I was just used as a puppet and the anxiety is way high. I can't do what she did and that means a long way to get a partner with more rejection being a guy it definitely sucks. 

And what bothered me more is that she was cold hearted, in-compassionate and ruthless. She said she will date other people and she was back there on the dating scene having fun as if nothing has happened. 

I honestly have a very hard time moving on as we live quite close. I just don't know how to tell her what damage she has done and I feel like she is having some mental issues that she does not understand the severity and stigma of this. 

This post expresses me