It's over...

[Ohsoscared]

I don't know what to expect as I havent had any OBs yet, but I would rather end my life then live like this. My scared to touch my child for they I will contaminate her. The guilt of not knowing if I gave it to my partner or they gave it to me. I'm afraid to touch myself for fear that I will spread it to other areas. I would rather end my life then live thru this hell. 

[100918]

If you haven't had any OBs yet, were you confirmed to have it through a blood test, I assume?

That is how I was diagnosed last October. Since I hadn't had any partners in over 10 years at that point, I knew that I had to have had it for a long time. I had spent the entire 10 years cuddling with my child, sharing straws with him, etc. So to think that I would now suddenly be this walking disease spreading machine was just plain silly. Nothing has changed. I still cuddle with my child. If he wants a sip of my drink, he gets one.

Going crazy about whether or not you gave it to your partner or if your partner gave it to you is not going to help anything. What is past is past. The good thing about HSV is that once you have an established infection, you cannot spread it to other parts of your body afterward. So, if you have genital HSV2, for example, you can't now spread it to your mouth. The virus has made its home and will not spread more within your own body.

It sounds like you have a partner from your post. Even if you don't currently have a partner, you are worthy of love. HSV does not define you. YOU define you...don't let this be the one thing that you focus on as your identity. When I was diagnosed, I was just getting back into the dating world. 3 months after being diagnosed, I met an amazing man who does not give a shit about my HSV diagnosis. He is negative. He still is negative. I also have not had any OBs since finding out I am positive. Have never had an OB that I'm aware of in the over 10 years that I have had this.

Your life is NOT over. Please, allow yourself time to be upset about the diagnosis...but then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and remember that you were who you are before you learned your diagnosis. NOTHING has changed about you since. You are still the same person. 

[Ohsoscared]

43 minutes ago, 100918 said:

If you haven't had any OBs yet, were you confirmed to have it through a blood test, I assume?

That is how I was diagnosed last October. Since I hadn't had any partners in over 10 years at that point, I knew that I had to have had it for a long time. I had spent the entire 10 years cuddling with my child, sharing straws with him, etc. So to think that I would now suddenly be this walking disease spreading machine was just plain silly. Nothing has changed. I still cuddle with my child. If he wants a sip of my drink, he gets one.

Going crazy about whether or not you gave it to your partner or if your partner gave it to you is not going to help anything. What is past is past. The good thing about HSV is that once you have an established infection, you cannot spread it to other parts of your body afterward. So, if you have genital HSV2, for example, you can't now spread it to your mouth. The virus has made its home and will not spread more within your own body.

It sounds like you have a partner from your post. Even if you don't currently have a partner, you are worthy of love. HSV does not define you. YOU define you...don't let this be the one thing that you focus on as your identity. When I was diagnosed, I was just getting back into the dating world. 3 months after being diagnosed, I met an amazing man who does not give a shit about my HSV diagnosis. He is negative. He still is negative. I also have not had any OBs since finding out I am positive. Have never had an OB that I'm aware of in the over 10 years that I have had this.

Your life is NOT over. Please, allow yourself time to be upset about the diagnosis...but then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and remember that you were who you are before you learned your diagnosis. NOTHING has changed about you since. You are still the same person. 

It was confirmed thru a blood test.  We have been dating since Oct but he has decided to end things because I  have made him "diseased". I was married for 11 years and hadn't had an other partners until recently. I free like everything I touch has hsv now. I think I'm just going thru a stage of hurt and I feel like a nasty whore because I cant pinpoint between the 2 where I contracted it. 

[Tk2019]

3 hours ago, Ohsoscared said:

It was confirmed thru a blood test.  We have been dating since Oct but he has decided to end things because I  have made him "diseased". I was married for 11 years and hadn't had an other partners until recently. I free like everything I touch has hsv now. I think I'm just going thru a stage of hurt and I feel like a nasty whore because I cant pinpoint between the 2 where I contracted it. 

He sounds like a jerk honestly. I went through a similar situation where the person who gave it to me just stopped talking to me because I had an outbreak... 3 days after we had sex. It really hurt my feelings, but honestly.... the problem was him not me. 

Are you positive for HSV 1 or 2? If it's 1 most people have it orally and you can get it from lots of sources so there really is no reason to feel like a whore.

[Ohsoscared]

1 minute ago, Tk2019 said:

He sounds like a jerk honestly. I went through a similar situation where the person who gave it to me just stopped talking to me because I had an outbreak... 3 days after we had sex. It really hurt my feelings, but honestly.... the problem was him not me. 

Are you positive for HSV 1 or 2? If it's 1 most people have it orally and you can get it from lots of sources so there really is no reason to feel like a whore.

Positive for both 😑😥

[My_dog_is_hungry]

It's hard to get through the initial diagnosis. Maybe talk to someone who can help you process your feelings?

Your ex that left you is a massive douche. I was in a casual relationship when I was diagnosed, when I told him he jumped on the internet to find out about the disease and tried to comfort me with the facts. That's a real man.

I think your in a whirlwind of sh*t feelings right now. You have received this news and your now in the midst of a break up. Just accept that it's going to hurt for a while.

You're going to come out of this dark period stronger.

PS you won't give it to your child.

[Marc C]

I know this guy in one of my HSV support group that have HSV1 and 2 as well.  He got 3 kids, his kids are negative and they are almost college and they live in the same house, eat the same food (just dont share the same utensils and glass).  He says that its really not that transmittable, just dont use the same utensils, towels etc (which you shouldnt anyways even without HSV) -- just practice good hygiene.  Your body will thank you too along the way.

He actually said that he is more concerned his kids would get HSV in college than him transmitting it to them 😄 

[sadguy2019]

11 hours ago, Ohsoscared said:

I don't know what to expect as I havent had any OBs yet, but I would rather end my life then live like this. My scared to touch my child for they I will contaminate her. The guilt of not knowing if I gave it to my partner or they gave it to me. I'm afraid to touch myself for fear that I will spread it to other areas. I would rather end my life then live thru this hell. 

What was your IgG score>? if it was below 3.5 you'll need a confirmation via Western Blot. False positive on IgG scores below 3.5 is something like 20-40%! thats quite a a lot so your battle is not yet lost! chin up

[100918]

1 hour ago, sadguy2019 said:

What was your IgG score>? if it was below 3.5 you'll need a confirmation via Western Blot. False positive on IgG scores below 3.5 is something like 20-40%! thats quite a a lot so your battle is not yet lost! chin up

False positive rate with the HerpeSelect test is 52%, according to the woman I spoke with at the UofW, where they do the Western Blot.

[sadguy2019]

27 minutes ago, 100918 said:

False positive rate with the HerpeSelect test is 52%, according to the woman I spoke with at the UofW, where they do the Western Blot.

thats even more scary, but nor surprising! the UW wont even run the any ELISA or Immunoblot test IGG for HSV2. Only Western Blot.

if the IgG is truly in your blood, it will be present on the blot + the other 14 peptides ex: IgB, IgD, IgE... if you get 1 or more proteins but not all, i think its scored as indeterminate... 

[Ohsoscared]

22 hours ago, sadguy2019 said:

What was your IgG score>? if it was below 3.5 you'll need a confirmation via Western Blot. False positive on IgG scores below 3.5 is something like 20-40%! thats quite a a lot so your battle is not yet lost! chin up

It was 13.1 😑

[Dontknwwattodo]

Mine was 8.3

[Ohsoscared]

1 minute ago, Dontknwwattodo said:

Mine was 8.3

What is the meaning behind the index number? 

[Dontknwwattodo]

I have no clue the doctors don’t even know they just said it means it’s not a new infection 

[Tk2019]

Your index value is just a measure of the antibodies in your blood. Blood tests do not detect HSV, only your immune system's reaction to it. Generally the higher your index value, the longer you've had it. Although everyone's body builds antibodies at different rates.