mr_hopp

Hey @Mzinformed.sad, I'm glad you found us! It's totally understandable to feel overwhelmed, but you're not alone in this. All of us have been there in our lives in our own ways. About your specific concerns about pregnancy and HSV-2, there's some reassuring news. A study mentioned in a CNN article highlighted that the risk of autism linked to herpes during pregnancy might be overstated. The study initially suggested that a herpes flare-up during early pregnancy could double the odds of a child being diagnosed with autism, but this was thought to be due to the mother's immune response, not direct infection of the fetus. However, experts critiquing the study emphasized that its findings were not conclusive and urged pregnant women not to worry about HSV-2 as a cause of autism based on this single exploratory study. This should alleviate some of your concerns about HSV-2 and autism. You can read more in the article here: https://www.cnn.com/2017/02/22/health/autism-herpes-pregnancy-study/index.html Also, @AlliKat12's personal experience is really valuable. Many women with HSV have had successful pregnancies and healthy children. It's possible to manage HSV during pregnancy with the right medical guidance, including taking medication to lower the risk of transmission and considering delivery options to avoid transmitting the virus to the baby. And to be clear, transmitting herpes to a baby via vaginal delivery is super rare! It's certainly nothing to cause you to avoid having children. Remember, knowledge is power. Understanding how HSV works and managing it effectively can help you lead a fulfilling life. It's normal to feel down, but with time, support, and information, you'll find your way through this. Sending you strength and support. You got this.

Hey there @newtothis22, First off, it's completely understandable to have your view of sex and intimacy change after a diagnosis like HSV-1 and HPV. Becoming more self-aware is a natural response, and it shows you're thoughtful and considerate about your health and the health of others. Your disclosure journey sounds like it's had its ups and downs, but you've been learning and growing from each experience. That's really what it's all about. Telling someone after sex for the first time isn't ideal, but you've recognized that and changed your approach since then. That shows a lot of personal growth. It's great that you're getting out there and dating, even if you're not looking for something serious right now. When it comes to casual dating, disclosing can feel even trickier. You're right, though; it's important to be honest to avoid feeling like you're deceiving someone. Maybe try to find a casual, non-threatening way to bring it up a bit earlier. You could say something like, "I'm really enjoying spending time with you, and I feel it's important to be upfront about a few things..." Then share your status and what it means for potential intimacy. It's all about finding the right balance between getting to know someone and sharing important info. Because look, even if things are casual, you still want to trust this person and know what they have, too, so you both can go into the situation eyes open as two consenting adults. And perhaps most importantly, go into the talk *knowing* it's not a dealbreaker (and carrying that energy in the conversation); there can be an insidious thing that happens in *how* we disclose — a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you will — that we can disclose already expecting rejection, however subtle, that can influence the situation. Being aware of this part is huge. Remember, your diagnosis is just one part of you. It doesn't define your worth or your ability to enjoy and have meaningful connections, whether they're casual or serious. It's okay to feel anxious or unsure about this. Take each experience as a chance to learn more about what works for you in terms of disclosing. And hey, you're doing a great job by thinking this through and seeking advice. Keep your head up. You've got this, and there are people out there who will understand and appreciate your honesty and who you are beyond HSV-1 and HPV. Sending you lots of positive vibes.

Hey there @JustChecking, Happy New Year! You're right; this is a super common question, and it's totally okay to ask for clarity. It's great you're looking for info to put your mind at ease. So, here's the deal: HSV-2 is typically genital, and while it can be transmitted to the mouth, it's much, much less common than HSV-1 (the usual cause of cold sores). 98% of oral herpes cases are HSV-1, and 1-2% of all oral herpes cases are HSV-2, so that gives you a sense of how rare it is. Your partner being asymptomatic and on daily antiviral meds significantly reduces the chances of transmission. These meds cut down the virus's ability to shed and make a break for it, even when there are no symptoms. That said, there's always a small risk, especially with direct contact like oral sex. But remember, lots of couples navigate this situation successfully by staying informed and communicating openly. The stats can be vague and vary from one source to another. But the main takeaway is that while the risk isn't zero, it's lower than you might think, especially with your partner's proactive management of the virus. Feel free to download the free handouts here where all this data and facts are broken down in an easy-to-understand way: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook In short, enjoy pleasing your partner! The stats are on your side. 😉

123123 to 2024! Big hugs to all!

Hey @YorkshireTeaLady, First off, so sorry it's taken me so long to respond here. I've been knee-deep in Christmas! Secondly, you're absolutely not alone, and feeling shocked and upset is totally normal. But let me tell you, having herpes doesn't make you disgusting – not one bit. It's just a super common skin condition, and many people don't even know they have it because it can chill out without symptoms for ages. Your partner sounds like a keeper, understanding and supportive. That's exactly the kind of reaction you want. And remember, cold sores are typically HSV-1, which many folks catch in childhood via innocent kisses from the grandparents, so it's possible to have it without any romantic stuff involved. It's really tough trying to pinpoint where and when you might have gotten it, and honestly, it might not help much to dwell on it. What's important now is taking care of yourself. Sounds like you're already on it with the creams and stuff. For the stinging during peeing, @Cookieees tip about wetting tissue is super handy! Give yourself time to adjust and heal, both physically and emotionally. You're not any less of the amazing person you've always been. And it's okay to have all these worries and feelings – talking about it, like you're doing now, is a great step. Keep the conversation going with your partner, too. Openness and understanding go a long way in managing this together. And who knows, over time, you might just find that this doesn't change your relationship or how she sees you at all. Sending you lots of positive vibes and virtual hugs!

Hey there @OHopelessRomaticDestroyed, First off, welcome to the community! We're all here to support each other, so you're definitely in the right place. It's okay to feel all those heavy emotions, but remember, you're so much more than a diagnosis. To your specific questions: Itching could be a symptom of HSV, but without blisters, it's hard to say for sure. It might just be skin irritation. Keep an eye on it, but try not to stress too much. Discharge changes can be normal for many reasons, not just HSV. Watery discharge doesn't necessarily mean shedding. If it's a concern, a chat with your doctor might clear things up. Good hygiene is always important. Washing hands after touching any potentially affected area is wise, especially before handling contacts. The risk is low, but it's good to be cautious. Not everyone with HSV develops blisters or lesions. Some people have very mild symptoms, or none at all. HSV1 and HSV2 are different viruses. Having one doesn't turn into the other, but you can have both types in different areas. Unfortunately, there's no way to know exactly when you're shedding. There are no tests for this available for daily personal use. Trigger foods vary for everyone. If you eat something known to trigger outbreaks, you might see effects in a few days, but it's not the same for everyone. Keeping a food diary could help you track this. I'm really glad you found us, and I hope this helps a bit. You're not alone, and it's okay to have questions and feel overwhelmed sometimes. We're all figuring it out together! Keep reaching out, and take things one day at a time. You've got this! 💪 Big hugs!

Hey @ekaterina92, First off, sending you so much strength and support. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and it's totally okay to feel overwhelmed and confused. Your situation is indeed complex, and it's understandable why you're feeling lost. Not having clear signs of typical blisters and getting negative test results, despite your symptoms, can be really frustrating. Like @montereypop mentioned, sometimes the tests don't capture everything, especially if antivirals are in play or the timing isn't right. About the small, papercut-like lesions and the constant symptoms you're experiencing – it's possible for herpes to manifest in less common ways, and symptoms can vary greatly from person to person. However, if antivirals aren't providing relief, it might be something else too. Definitely worth exploring with your doctor. I know you're worried about not being able to be intimate with your boyfriend because of the symptoms. Communication is key here. Maybe try to find moments when you're feeling a bit better for intimacy, and explore other ways to be close that feel comfortable for both of you. As for managing the constant prodrome-like symptoms, @montereypop's advice to focus on self-care is spot-on. Finding what makes you happy and keeps you relaxed can help manage stress, which can sometimes trigger or worsen symptoms. This could include things like yoga, meditation, or just doing stuff you love. It's normal to feel like withdrawing socially when you're dealing with something this challenging. But try to remember, this situation isn't who you are. You're still the same wonderful person who loves socializing. Maybe start small, like catching up with a close friend, and gradually work your way back. Time really does heal, especially with the right outlook. Be patient with yourself and don't heap on expectations, and especially judgments. Healing from this emotionally can feel raw and difficult, but you will pull through. Life truly does move on. Keep your chin up, Laura. You're doing your best in a tricky situation. Remember, this community is here for you, always ready to listen and support. 💖 Take care and keep us updated.

Hey @Leeann18, Sending you the biggest virtual hug right now. 💖 Rejection stings big time, and it's totally normal to feel gutted about it, especially when you had a great first date. We've all been there. I feel you! Here's the thing: you haven't done anything wrong. You were honest and brave, which is super important when dating. Not everyone can handle the news, and that's on them, not you. It's their choice, just like it was your choice to be upfront. And hey, about telling him over a message – I get why you did it, but maybe next time, try sharing face-to-face. I know, it feels super vulnerable, but it can actually make the whole herpes chat feel less dramatic. Plus, it opens the door for real, close-up human connection. Think of it more like confidently and authentically sharing a part of your story, not like you're dropping a bomb. If you need some further support on how to do that, check out the free e-book on disclosure as an Opportunity for connection here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook It's awesome that you've had partners who were cool with it before. That shows there are plenty of understanding folks out there. This guy just wasn't one of them, and it's better to find out now than later, right? Remember, having herpes doesn't define you or your worth. You're still the same amazing person, and this one experience doesn't change that. Keep your chin up, and don't let this shake your confidence. The right person won't be held back by a skin condition. You got this, Leeann! Keep being your wonderful self, and the right person will see that. ✨ Keep shining!

For anyone else wondering the same thing, here's the link: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Hey @Leaf in the wind, It's totally okay to feel all mixed up right now. Cold sores mean you probably have oral herpes, which tons of folks have, even if it just showed up once. Genital herpes usually gives you more noticeable signs, but not always. The important thing to remember is that herpes, whether it's oral or genital, is just a skin condition, not a measure of you as a person. You're still the awesome you, no matter what! Yes, our society does tend to reinforce the unfortunate stigma, but if you can not believe the hype yourself, then society's stigma washes over you like water off a duck's back. Here's a video about becoming Stigma Bulletproof that might help: For your boyfriend, just give him some time and maybe share some easy-to-digest info on herpes. It's a lot to take in if it's new to him. It's important to understand all the facts first, so download this free e-book and handouts for a quick primer: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook And about the past, I'm so sorry that happened. Just remember, you're not alone, and you don't have to share anything with your family until you're ready, if ever. Take it one step at a time, okay? You're not trash, not at all. You're a leaf in the wind! And you'll find your way through this. Keep your head up! 💚 Big virtual hugs! 🤗

Great to hear you're staying informed and cautious, @Medusa. It's wise to consider potential risks, and it's true that while having antibodies may offer some protection against spreading the virus to other body parts, it's not a guarantee. The body's immune response can take some time to develop fully after an initial infection, sometimes up to a year after initial infection. It's different for everyone, but what we do know is the longer you have herpes, the less of a chance there is to auto-inoculate (spread it to other parts of your body). Something to consider specifically to your question about oral sex is that HSV-2 is very rarely found orally (only 1-2% of all oral herpes cases are HSV-2), so passing genital HSV-2 to the mouth when no outbreak signs or symptoms are evident is quite rare. Stay safe and keep the conversations going!

Hey @Dreams, Outbreaks can vary a lot in length, and yeah, some can hang around for more than ten days, especially without treatment. It's not the same for everyone. Suppressive therapy could definitely help in cutting down both the number and severity of outbreaks. As for boosting your immunity, things like a balanced diet, regular exercise, plenty of sleep, and maybe some supplements like Vitamin C, Zinc, and Lysine (as @AlliKat12 mentioned) could be beneficial. It's all about keeping your body strong and giving it the best chance to fight back. But remember, it's always a good plan to chat with a healthcare pro before starting any new supplement or major lifestyle change. So glad you found us! 💖 Stay well!

Hey @chazf, Thanks for the update! The Quest test coming back normal is a good sign. It might just be that the standard tests picked up something else that looked like HSV to the test. This happens sometimes, especially with those low positive numbers. Since you're not having any symptoms and you're testing regularly, these recent blips might just be a testing hiccup. It's been three months, so your body's response should be stable by now. I'd say keep chatting with your doc about it. They're the best bet for sorting out why those numbers are bouncing around. Keep us in the loop, and take care!

Hi @BradYear23 Your test results show that you have antibodies to Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 (HSV-1) as indicated by a positive IgG result. The value of 4.2 EV suggests a past infection, and your body has developed immunity to it. Most people in the world are carriers of HSV-1. The Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2 (HSV-2) test, on the other hand, is negative, indicating that there is no evidence of a past infection with HSV-2. The presence of IgG antibodies typically means a past, not active, infection. Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 (HSV-1) typically manifests as cold sores or fever blisters around the mouth. It's commonly known as oral herpes but can also cause genital herpes through oral-genital contact (around 50% of all new genital herpes cases are HSV-1 transmitted via oral sex). Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2 (HSV-2) is associated mainly with genital herpes (only 1-2% of oral herpes cases are HSV-2), leading to sores in the genital area. Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can cause symptoms in either location, but their primary associations differ. I hope that helps!

@Dreams You’re so kind! Like a breath of fresh air. I appreciate that, and it’s truly my pleasure. It will absolutely get better. You know how I know? Because you are committed to working on seeing things differently. Ah, a fellow Opportunity hunter. 😉

Hey @DistressedLady Yes, I'm sure all of us have been in that "walking disease factory" and paranoia mindset — comes with the territory thanks to the stigma. 😝 But the good news is it doesn't have to be something that sticks and stays with you. You can get over it and feel "normal" again (whatever that means). It's tough when you've been that statistical outlier before. But remember, you're way more than just those odds. Plus, I'd hazard a guess that whoever you got herpes from was either unaware they had it (with is a whopping 80% of people who have herpes!) and/or unaware of the symptoms and put you more at risk. Those %s are based on not having signs or symptoms (only asymptomatic viral shedding). Was your partner who gave it to you aware they had herpes? Now, let's dive into your questions: Asymptomatic Shedding Duration: This can vary quite a bit. It's not usually a set period like an hour or a day. It can happen at different times and for different lengths of time for each person. Sometimes it might last a day; other times, it could be shorter or longer. But since you've had herpes for so long, your viral shedding should be lower, too. Shedding Variability: Yes, you can be shedding one day and not the next. Asymptomatic shedding isn’t a constant thing; it's sporadic and unpredictable, which is why it's tricky to pin down. Exposure and Transmission: Even if someone is exposed during asymptomatic shedding, it's not a guarantee they'll contract herpes. There are various factors at play, like the immune system's strength, skin integrity, and other physiological factors. HSV1 and HSV2 Immunity: Having HSV1 does offer some level of immunity against HSV2, but it's not absolute. It can make you less susceptible to contracting HSV2, but it's still possible to get it. The two viruses are similar, so the immune system can recognize them, but they're different enough that HSV1 antibodies aren't entirely protective against HSV2. I hope this helps ease some of your worries. It's great that you're seeking knowledge – understanding more about HSV can definitely help in managing it and feeling more in control. You're taking the right steps by asking questions and seeking clarity.

Hey @Worriedbloke, First off, it sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and it's totally okay to feel overwhelmed. The uncertainty can be super stressful, but you're definitely not alone in this. You've been super proactive about getting checked out, which is awesome. It's great that all your tests have come back negative, and it sounds like your doctors are on top of things trying to figure out what's going on. Sometimes our bodies can react in weird ways that don't always fit the textbook description of specific conditions, and it can be frustrating to not have clear answers right away. About the discharge and rash, it's really hard to say without being a doctor and seeing it firsthand. But it's good that you're observing and noting these changes – that's important information to share with your healthcare provider. Since you've had multiple tests and consultations, it seems like you're doing all the right things medically. You're taking the right steps, and it's a process to figure this out. Keep communicating with your doctors like you've been doing. You're handling a challenging situation, and that takes a lot of strength. Hang in there, and keep us updated on how you're doing. Stay strong, buddy. You've got this. 💪

No change for me either, and I've had all my shots and regular COVID boosters.

@JJlove Sure, you can absolutely go the natural route, which can include natural remedies (which also varies dramatically per person), and for the most part it will be your body building up its antibodies over the next year or so. Have you tried lysine? That’s the most popular of the natural treatments, but even though it doesn’t have any scientific backing that it works, plenty of folks swear by it. It never worked for me, but it doesn’t hurt to give it a try!

Hi @DistressedLady! First off, big hugs to you. 🤗 It's completely normal to feel a whirlwind of emotions after having unprotected sex for the first time in a while, especially considering your journey with HSV2. You're not alone in this boat, trust me. The chances of passing herpes in one unprotected encounter with no symptoms is super low. I know it can feel sometimes like you're a walking disease factory but that's just not the case! My wife and I stopped using protection together years ago and she still doesn't have herpes (I take daily suppressive Acyclovir). This doesn't mean there's no risk, just that it's lower than the stigma would have you believe. So taking antivirals like famciclovir does significantly reduce the risk of transmission (by around 50%!). And, since you mentioned not having any symptoms, that's another plus in your corner. It's not a zero-risk situation, but it's definitely lower risk. Specifically in your case, female-to-male transmission while on daily suppressive therapy but no barrier protection is 2% per year. It's super small. (To put it in perspective, there's a 2-15% chance of unintended pregnancy with condoms and a 1.8% chance of death from a car accident.) Check out all the facts and figures on the free handouts that come with the e-book here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Now, about that guilt you're feeling... It's clear you care a lot about your partner, which says a ton about you. 😊 But remember, you both made the decision together. You're both adults here. It's not just on you to "protect" him. Relationships are a team effort, and it sounds like he understands the risks and made his big-boy choice with eyes wide open. Feeling guilty is natural, but it's also important to give yourself some grace. You're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask for. It's about finding balance, right? You've got a loving relationship where you've communicated openly — that's huge! I always say, don't get paranoid about it. Paranoia disconnects you from your partner. Instead, feel careful. Full-of-Care. That connects you. You're in this together! If you're still feeling uneasy, maybe a little chat with your partner could help ease those feelings. Openness and honesty, as you know, are super important and can quell those annoying devils on your shoulder whispering you unhelpful sweet nothings ... And remember, you're not just "that person with herpes." You're a person with a whole universe inside you, and herpes is just a tiny part of your story. Don't let it overshadow all the good stuff in your relationship and life. 💪 In fact, let your experience with herpes uncover and strengthen even more that person you know yourself to be: That person of integrity, love, consideration, honesty, care, and [fill in the blank here with other great words]. 😝 Keep shining bright and keep us posted. First and foremost, enjoy this process of deepening and trusting. It's beautiful to hear how you're doing!

Hey @JJlove! About the consistent prodrome symptoms you're experiencing, everyone's experience with herpes can be different. Some people may have more frequent prodrome symptoms, while others may not experience them as often. While Valtrex can help suppress the virus by a large degree, it may not eliminate all prodrome sensations for everyone. You've also had herpes for less than a year, right? Your body is still getting used to having this new roommate, so it'll take some time before it can naturally suppress it better. On average it takes about a year for that to happen for most folks with healthy immune systems. The goal is to find a management plan that works best for you, which might involve adjusting your medication regimen or exploring other strategies to minimize prodrome symptoms. Your doctor will be the best resource to discuss these options and tailor a plan to your needs, so I'm glad you have an appointment coming up. Keep us updated on what you come up with! Stay strong! You got this. 🙂

Hi there @chazf, Trying to make sense of your recent herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) test results can understandably be a bit confusing. Let me see if I can help clarify things for you. Initially, your HSV-2 IgG test gave an equivocal result of 0.95, which falls in a gray area; it’s not clearly positive or negative. The follow-up test you mentioned, likely a herpes inhibition assay, returned a negative result (<0.90). This type of test is quite specific and is often used to confirm equivocal or low positive IgG results. If the first part of the test is negative, the second part usually isn’t necessary. However, your more recent tests from two different labs showed slightly positive results (1.15 and 1.19). These numbers are just above the threshold for a positive result, but they are still quite low. It’s important to note that IgG tests measure antibodies, which the body develops in response to the virus. These antibodies can take some time to reach detectable levels (up to 12 weeks in some cases), which might explain the initial negative or equivocal results followed by a low positive. Given that you haven’t been sexually active since August and had a negative test around that time, it’s possible that you were exposed to the virus in August, and your body has since developed detectable levels of antibodies. However, without symptoms, it can be hard to determine the exact timing of infection. Remember, a low positive result can sometimes be a false positive, especially with values just over the threshold. The CDC recommends confirmatory testing for low positive results. Given your recent results and the absence of symptoms, it might be worth discussing with your healthcare provider whether a confirmatory test like the Western Blot, which is considered the gold standard for herpes testing, would be appropriate in your case. It’s also worth noting that many people with HSV-2 don’t experience symptoms (and about 20% never have symptoms), or they have very mild symptoms that go unnoticed. The absence of symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean the virus isn’t present. I hope this was helpful to you! Keep us updated on what you find out, okay?

I’m with @montereypop on this one. Soap is literally the thing that you use to instantly kill the herpes virus so it doesn’t spread. The best thing to do if those blisters show up again would be to go to the clinic to get them swabbed and tested. That will be definitive. Really hard to get an accurate idea of what it could be via forums, unfortunately.

@newtothis22 Good on you for getting out there and meeting new people. It’s like a buffet of connections – you get to sample a bit here and there before you decide what you really like. And juggling a few dates at a time is totally fine — as long as you’re straight-up with everyone. Now, about the herpes talk – your game plan to wait until things might get physical sounds spot on. It’s like waiting for the right moment in a game – not too early, not too late. And if you don’t feel like it’s time yet, no stress. You’ll know when the timing feels right. (When you feel like you can trust them with your vulnerability.) Remember, it’s about being fair to them, too. They’ve got a right to make their own call about their health. Dating with herpes might seem like a tricky level in this game, but it’s all about how you play it. Keep it real, answer their questions, and stay cool. Be confident in your courage, openness and honesty. If someone’s not down with it, that’s okay. It’s not a game-over, just means they’re not the right player for your team. And of course, if they’re cool with it, that’s a great sign. Means they’re open and understanding – exactly what you want in a teammate. 😉 So, keep having fun, stay honest, and don’t forget – it’s all part of the dating adventure. Good luck!

Hey @seamusharper, The symptoms you described could potentially be due to various causes, including a reaction to the material or lube used with the Tenga toy. Herpes doesn't present as a classic rash; the most common presentation is blisters or fissures, but definitely keep an eye on it and if anything else presents, get that spot swabbed so you can get some definitive data on what it may or may not be. It's worth noting that herpes (both HSV-1 and HSV-2) can have a range of symptoms, and the absence of visible blisters doesn't necessarily rule out the possibility of herpes infection. Blood tests can help detect herpes antibodies, which may provide more information, but herpes antibodies can take up to 12 weeks to be detectable on a blood test, so it's not a foolproof option, unfortunately. Please keep us updated on your situation, and if you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to ask!