thisisgoingtobeokay (previ

I'm grateful to have this site to communicate with people who understand how I feel.

I feel like I just read every thought I have ever had. My own personal journal, it sounds exactly like my life. I was ready too, to meet Mr. Right. About to graduate college, young, vibrant, so full of energy and drive. I'm 23. My heart breaks for you. I want to just hug you. You literally described my life and thoughts I've gone through. I don't know what to say exactly. After reading that, it has kind of set me back. I guess because your life seemed a lot like mine when you got it and the feelings are all so familiar and relatable. Not your fault, I just hate seeing someone has had this for so long and not found love. Just know we are here for you. I'm so sorry. I just hope we can help in some way. I'm still so new to all of this and don't have any dating experience with it yet myself. I just wish I could come and sit with you and talk to you because I just feel so heartbroken after reading this and wish I could help. I know I can't. And that's what sucks. I want to fix it for people, myself included, but we can't. And that hurts me so bad to see you so upset. I know I don't know you, but after reading that I feel like I do. Because you just remind me of myself. Someone will come behind me and give great advice. All I want you to know is you are not alone. You aren't. I'm here and so is everyone else. Big damn hugs to you tonight. I'll send one up for you tonight.

Damn @wcs "most people value honesty until you give it to them." I love that so damn much. So true in my life!

I read on it and it said it was for type 2. What about type1? Why are we getting ignored? I want to be able to tell a partner to get vaccinated to. This would do nothing for me having HSV1 genitally..... What the F.

Have her come talk to me. I have HSV1 on my genitals from a guy who performed oral sex on me. We didn't even have vaginal sex. Hsv1 is a big deal to me. My genitals are now infected because of it. The guy didn't have a cold sore either! I got it from the "shedding". How scary is that? No sign on his face he had cold sores, and I get this. He did later test positive. Anyways, mostly be careful performing oral sex. You can pass it to genitals, just like what happened to me. I would love to talk to your friend and set her/him straight. She needs a wake up call. Oral herpes is no different than genital in my book. It's an STD than be spread by sexual contact. You should warn men/women about it before you perform oral, but other than that, keep moving forward and ignore stupid people who are clueless about this.

Thanks y'all. I just woke up from a four hour nap. So I hope that helped. And @wcs I could use some soup. My lower back and shoulders are what is killing me. I figured it's either drainage or strep... I have had the white spots before...a few times as a kid. I'm going to try that airborne idea. I hate head colds. I've got a lot of um collected spit at my tonsils that keeps gathering and swallowing hurts like a mofo. I'll be okay! I'm a big girl, I can handle a head cold. For sure, haha! Thanks for the tips ladies. I may go run and grab a steroid shot in the morning. Those seem to help me a lot on the energy home front! Love y'all!

I'm sick.... And I'm literally crying because I feel so bad. I ain't broke out not that kind of sick, but I'm sick. Aching all over and swollen, sore throat. No fever. Bought to gargle some salt water, I noticed white spots on my tonsils.... Yay. Other than that, I'm awesome. Hope things are good for you and you are having a fantastic day. Sending love, from my laid up in bed ass. :)

I do. I've only had my initial but it was on my butt. I had only one bump on my lady part, it was up my butt crack and then I have two on the cup of my butt.

Thank you. You are the best mom figure I got right now and I need that! :)

I know. I'm just scared. I can handle it. It just is scary. My friend looked and said it was a pimple. She said it had a white head on it. So I'm more calm now. I just am so scared of it being like that first one and although it wasn't bad, it still wasn't fun and just made me feel bad. I just got really scared because of it's location. It is so near my first bump spot. I know that spot like the back of my hand. I'm doing better. I'm just so tired of being angry and upset all the time, that I decided to change. It was too much to carry. And I just got so tired of feeling like shit all the time. Emotionally, I am at the best I've ever been but I don't want to break out. I'm considering starting my masters or getting some books and working towards law school. Haven't decided for sure which one. I just haven't had any ambition or drive, but it's back and I'm ready to start doing something with myself again. I know my strong points and I just have to keep on and validate myself. And furthering my education gives me some kind of strength and inner peace. I still get scared though. And since I only have that first outbreak to go on a "bump" on my ass sends me to a panic. I should have broken out again as much as I stress. Miracle is the only explanation for that. Thank you for responding.

I'm on 500mg valtrex daily. Up it to a 1000? Is that common?

Okay, just was checkin myself out in the mirror and noticed a red spot on the cup of my booty. It didn't hurt when I touched it but I also can get close enough to really look at it. One bump. Red. Doesn't hurt. Can't see if it has a vesicle. It isn't raised. For type 1, is one bump common for a recurrent outbreak? Should it be hurting? How do I know what I'm dealing with. I'm freaking out. And not ready for another outbreak. I don't want this to expand like the first one all over my butt. I'm scared because I got one bump and then more and more last time and it's near my first bump so I'm scared. Really scared. I haven't noticed any red spots down there since my initial. I got one bump and then more the next days during my initial, so hence my concern. I haven't noticed anything else funky. Someone just walk me through this what typically happens for a recurrence in case this is what it is. It's near the area my first bumps came. So I just need to know what's going to happen. I'm panicking. *Trying* to be calm. I can't miss work. How much do I up my valtrex if this is one? Thanks y'all.

I have H1 too. Should you always disclose? Yes. Is H1 hard to transmit via genital to genital sex? Yes. Can a guy go down on you? Of course, but, remember... We have H1, it prefers the mouth, so therefore his chances of getting it orally are greater than genital. Just because of the site. We shed less. So the virus is less "active" than H2. It's your decision, but remember, casual sex has risks. We can still get type 2, HIV, HPV, the clap, syphillis, and all the other STDs out there. You have been through one, why risk another? I don't want to. Plus, you are taking away someone's choice.... Not fair. You weren't likely given this choice, why risk that on someone else? Do I think it's wrong? No. I don't. For type 1 or 2.That's me personally though. Everyone is different. I was never a casual sex girl before this and that hasn't changed, so I guess it isn't a big deal to me to not just have casual sex. I just look at it like this, I refuse to risk another STD. Casual sex isn't an option for me. Not because I have herpes, but because I will never. Ever. Ever. Allow a man to use my body, taint it, and walk away from me as if he has no responsibility again. F that. I won't be in that position ever freaking again. I deserve more than casual sex, and so do you sweet girl! :)

I have H1. When I was diagnosed I made the decision to back off the usual culprits just as a prevention. I stopped caffeine, chocolate and nuts immediately. Since then I have incorporated little amounts of it all. I haven't had another outbreak. I take lysine if I do have something like that that is high in arginine. I will say, occasionally I am fine. I did have a cup of coffee for about two weeks straight each day and I noticed I was feeling "off". Not sure if it's because I quit it and then like shocked my system by having so much so fast, but I never broke out but I felt weird. Could have been all in my mind too. I think occasionally it's okay, from my experience. I don't think you should be downing 10 cokes a day or eating a whole box of chocolate cookies. I've been okay so far. Moderation I think. But each person is different as said above. You will learn what makes you feel "weird". Take it slow and gradually test things and see what happens. I just do my best to stay away from it, I eat it occasionally though. It isn't so bad truly.

Have**** not gave!!! Stupid iPhone. And also, the guy who I slept with after my giver, didn't catch it from me. :)

@stars I gave genital HSV1. I haven't truly had to disclose yet, but I did tell a guy that I hung out with for a little over a year and we had never had sex. He wasn't my giver, but just a lonely cuddle talk buddy. I told him and he accepted it and we had sex for the very first time, after my diagnosis. So it happens, but we haven't again since that time. That's a weird situation which I won't go into. But he knew me before H so he knew how I was, which I think made him accept it and look past it. I think that's key. They need to really know you before you tell them. Maybe I will have a successful disclosure in the future but I am just not ready to date yet. I am angry at the same thing you are. I didn have sex for a year and this was the first guy who went down on me in three years.... Boom, I have genital herpes type 1. Me and the giver didn't even have sex until after my diagnosis. He literally just went down on me and a week later I broke out. After the first round of valtrex, me and my giver had sex. So strangely enough, I've slept with two men who knew I had it, one the giver and one was not. But I am angry too because my friends do far much more than me and I get this? It was bullshit. And still is in my eyes. So I understand you. Happens to the best of us I truly think. I sometimes think this happened to me because I put my vagina on a pedestal for so long... Payback for not letting any guy get it. It's a shame.

Claps and big hugs to you for accepting. I am sure you have no idea how much that means to him. It would mean the absolute world to me. Anyways, check out that link above. Use condoms, make sure he is taking antivirals and avoids sex anytime he feels "weird". That weird feeling could be him shedding or an outbreak coming on. He probably knows his body pretty good now and can tell when one is coming on. So just avoid sex during those times. h2 is rare for the mouth, still be proactive. It can happen. If you do have H1, be careful too. That can be spread by giving oral to him. Just play it safe and listen to your bodies! Again, thank you for posting. Gives me hope.

I'm grateful that I'm four months outbreak free, I'm grateful that I've discovered a possible reason that this may be a positive in my life, and I'm grateful that I made a decision Sunday night to stop saying negative things to myself, like no one is ever going to want me or if I get to get married or if I have kids. I'm grateful I have a doctor that is understanding and let's me call with questions all the time.

That was beautifully put and contained a lot of what I feel. I am glad I watched this.

Yeah, I know someone who has it genitally too. I knew she had it for a while. She has never passed it. Type 1 that is what she has genitally. She just takes her medicine and doesn't use condoms and hasn't passed it still.

@wcs, curiousity killin the cat over here. What did the doctor who said he had never seen a genital to genital HSV1 transmission? As in, what does that mean? It's really rare?

Well..... 4 months outbreak free and discovered one of my reasons. I need to write this down, make a reason book. Read it when I get sad.

@wcs that kind of just came out as I was typing. I literally think that was one of those, ah ha moments. I re read it myself and said what? Was that in some way a positive out of catching this? Shocker, believe me, I actually said what the F did I just type out loud. 4 months today... (As today would be like the 31st)... Outbreak free.

I didn't work the week of my initial, I think I could have, but I was a complete and total emotional wreck. I will say, I had the "sticking" problem my last couple days. I didn't wear undies at all. I wore just my yoga pants and would position the pants the best I could to be loose around the area. It sucks and totally disgusted me. I did stick, but only a couple times until i figured out what worked for me. The good ole bandaid, just rip and pull fast was my method of that dreadful "first morning i realized my pants are stuck, what the hell is this crap, my pants are like stuck to me, what the heck do I do to make this as least painful as possible." Good luck. And I'm a huge epsom salt fan. Dried everything up fast for me. I've heard mixed answers on what to do, keep the sores dry or moist. I went with, keep it as dry as I can so it will heal quicker. That was my plan.

And I might add, the signs were all there for me. In regard to his stupidity. I consider him to be an arrogant, selfish, self righteous, dumb ass bastard. The fact that he was in no way on my level of intelligence should have clued me in to the fact he wasn't right for me, before I ever let him go down on me. But before H, I never considered stuff like that. As I felt I was being self righteous. I dated men who were in no way compatible for me. A discussion of politics with this dude or current issues or how to solve an algebraic math problem was probably out of his brain range and did not interest him. So I should have noted his lack of intelligence (what I consider to be important and of importance to my "one", what I'm looking for) and thought about that before I let him go down on me. H has made me realize that I was dating men who were not and no where near my check list of "this is my dream man". That all may sound super bitchy. But I'll say this damn much. I won't ever date a guy or become sexual in any way with a guy that I clearly see signs of incompatibility with now. He just wasn't on my level, and I don't mean I was out of his league, although clearly I was now since I've realized he has the moral code of a snail. But he just wasn't what I truly wanted, before H. He honestly, was just stupid and lacked the things that I value in my own life. Intelligence, education, drive, and ambition. He lacked all of that shit. Truly. Sigh, I need to cut the TV on.