Flowerteacher55

Hello! I hope you and your partner are well! It's great you care about your partners safety and comfort. The daily suppression helps reduce risk, so that is great! Are you symptomatic or asymptomatic? Physical intimacy is so much more than just penetrative sex with genitals. Using sex toys made out of body-safe, non-toxic, washable/sterilizable silicone are an idea. Make sure you keep you for anal areas separate from vaginal, as using the same toy for both areas can cause UTIs and/or yeast infections for those with vaginas. In terms or oral sex, there are pieces of thin latex called dental dams that can be used to help prevent the spread of STIs. Also, oral sex can be preformed with the use of a condom (hence why flavored condoms exist!). Also, if you both would like to try sex, condoms, both internal and external, can provide some safety, too. Also, physical intimacy is more than just genitals! Sensual touch can be felt in so many areas, such as the neck or chest. Massages are a great way to connect with a partner and get to know their body through gentle touch. And of course, although there is always a risk of transmission, it can be greatly reduced with precautions and open communication. Stay safe and well! If she has any questions or concerns about being with someone with HSV-2, she can totally check out this website or ask questions here! Stay well, Grace

Any time! I'm happy to help ☺️! Stay well!! 🌻

Hello! I am so sorry to hear about that! That must have been so stressful and exhausting. It is great that you care so much about your soulmate. If you felt safer, you could take preventative/supressive antivirals to reduce the risk out outbreaks and transmission risk. You can go to your doctor and ask for them! Blessings! 🌄

Hello! Shaving in general can cause irritation, itchiness, and ingrown hairs. Everyone has different triggers, so you can see if using a regular razor would result in an outbreak. Using the aftershave also could be a trigger, so what you could do is apply a small amount of it to a small area of skin and see if that causes an outbreak. Testing it on a small patch of skin helps see potential outcomes but minimized to just a small segment of skin, which is good in case sores appear. You also could look into some no-burn aftershave, or shave in the shower and use a gentle moisturizing soap to shave with and then apply a gentle aftershave afterwards. You can also look into some natural aftershaves with soothing properties, such as aloe. I hope this helps! Stay well!! 🌻 Sending blessings of health and happiness your way 🌄!! - Grace

Hello, I hope you are well. I am so sorry you have felt such stress regarding HSV. Please know that you are still a wonderful person. Struggling and suffering is part of the human experience, but of course there are ways to release from that suffering. We must overcome the socially-constructed stigmas that make us have negative connotations about HSV. In reality, it is a common virus that doesn't have the power to ruin our lives. It is wonderful that you and your partner are committed to one another. I wish you the best!! ☺️ Below are answers to your questions: 1. No, you do not need to disclose your HSV-2 to anyone. However, it would make sense to tell your primary doctor about it, but you don't need to disclose it to anyone. 2. No, you do not need to socially isolate. HSV-2 is spread via skin to skin contact with the infected area, which for you is on the genital region I assume? It is not spread through the air or by simple touch (if you touch a doorknob it doesn't get herpes on it) and even if something comes into contact with the genital or buttocks region (let's say a toilet seat) herpes doesn't spread that way, either. 3. You can definitely kiss your nephew on the head and tell him you love him! If you have herpes on your genital region, it doesn't mean your entire body has the ability to pass HSV to another, just the region that has the outbreaks. Even people with oral herpes can still kiss others. Herpes typically spreads via very soft mucous membranes, such as genital openings, the eyes, or the mouth. A kiss on the top of the head or the forehead isn't a mucus membrane anyways! Now, if you had an active oral cold sore, avoiding kissing others is a good idea. But, if you don't have oral herpes, or do not have an active cold sore or symptoms one is about the happen, then kissing a baby or child on the head is perfectly safe. I hope this helps! Feel free to ask any other questions. We are here for you! Stay strong, be kind to yourself, and remember that you are so so much more than this virus!! Sending blessings to you and your partner 🌄!! - grace

Of course! Yes, and so mamy sources online are not reliable at all, which makes finding answers even more difficult to navigate!! You are totally right-- our lives aren't over just because of this common virus. It doesn't have the power to ruin our lives unless we give it that power! Stay well!! 🌻

Hello! This is a great question! Since you've been with him for 24 years (so beautiful ❤️!!) it is possible that he may have contracted it, and may be asymptomatic. It is also possible he never contracted it at all! Let's say that he does have it, and you gave him oral. Your body has antibodies to protect you from contracting the same HSV you have on your genitals elsewhere on your body! So, is it hypothetically possible? Sure. But, the risk is lower because your body already has HSV-2 antibodies. If you are worried about your husband potentially having it, he could always get an IgG blood test. May you and your husband be blessed and happy!! 🌻🌄 -- Grace

Hello! This is a great question. In general, swollen lymph nodes indicate your body is fighting an infection or illness of some sort. Some people get swollen lymph nodes (in the neck area usually) every time they get the flu, for example, and some do not. The same goes for herpes! According to Stanford health, primary infections are usually most severe, and include swollen groin lymph nodes, but, "symptoms of later outbreaks are usually limited to blisters, sores, and swollen lymph nodes," and of course itching and burning and/or tingling, which I do not know why the article didn't mention those three elements!! Here is the article if you wanted to check it out:h ttps://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sexual-and-reproductive-health/genital-herpes/symptoms.html The first time you notice the lymph node swelling, skin irritation, flu-like symptoms, and/or all other primary infection symptoms is when you can tell when your first outbreak was/when you were most likely infected. Yes, it is hard to pinpoint exactly the time you were infected, but with general piecing together of evidence it can be pretty well hypothesized!! Stay well and be kind to yourself! 🌼

Hello! I understand. Rejection hurts. Remember to think of it with your rational brain and your emotional brain. Our emotions say "this totally validates that I'm trash" which is NOT TRUE at all!! Our rational brain has to comfort these feelings and say, "Nope, I am still worthy of love. If someone isnt into me, that's their choice. I can choose to get caught up in it or hold my head high and keep moving forward!" Stay strong!! Blessings, Grace

@jimbabwe92 Hello, Remember that you deserve someone who fully accepts you for you; someone who knows HSV is a common virus, and it doesn't change who you are at your core. You deserve someone who is respectful, genuine in their feelings, and matches their actions to their words. Be kind to yourself and respect yourself! The right person is out there for you! Blessings, Grace

Hello, I have personally never tried MPWH, or any other HSV-specific dating site. I have tried other non-HSV specific dating sites, and overall, I really do not like online dating. It just isn't for me. Remember that H does not restrict your dating to only those who also have H. The right person will respect and accept you for you, whether they have H or not. Sure, HSV dating sites might be a safe start, since it alleviates the worries of disclosure. But, remember that you have no reason to be ashamed or guilty. You are unapologetically you, and H, a common virus, doesn't have the power to change who you are. Hold your head high and be kind to yourself! 🌄 - Grace

Hi! Of course! I'm happy to help! When you tell him, yes, it would be good for him to be tested. If he is showing symptoms/sores, he can go to any reproductive/sexual health clinic for a swab test. However, since it seems he gave it to you, he likely would test positive on an IgG blood test. Some reproductive/sexual health clinics take blood, but often times you may need to go to a lab or doctor's office. Many places refuse to do blood tests because HSV is so common, but if you/him really push for it (even he could say, "I have to know because my partner has underlying health conditions (God forbid ❤️!) and cannot get HSV, we are trying for a baby, etc") I mean, is lying wrong? Of course. But you know what else is wrong? Not being able to be tested for HSV. You and him should advocate for your health, always! 🙂 I hope this helps! Blessings, Grace

Hello! I hope you are well. I have done some research! All reliable sources I have found all say the same thing: herpes is not curable and lives forever in your body. However, some research shows that for some people, the likelihood of transmission can reduce as time passes, since many people have fewer outbreaks as time passes (for example, someone may have 1 outbreak a month the first two years they have herpes, but after that they may have only 1 outbreak every six months, and then eventually one outbreak a year, and then perhaps 1 outbreak every few years, etc). So, because they have fewer outbreaks, they have less of a chance of transmitting it to a partner. (Note: this is referring to symptomatic folks, not asymptomatic folks!). Check out an article that talks about the reduced-shedding of GHSV-2 as time passes, here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3058740/ However, I found this really awesome article by Yale's School of Medicine, called "Outsmarting Herpes," and it talks about the factors that influence contracting herpes, not just the virus itself, but the composition of our skin tissues! It also talks about how scientists are trying to create immunizations to basically give the body's immune system HSV antibodies! It's super cool. Check it out here: https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/outsmarting-herpes-researchers-use-the-bodys-natural-defenses-to-stop-outbreaks/ I hope this helps! Sending blessings to you! 🙂 - grace

@Mercyme I totally agree. Honesty is the best policy! @Km_girl Visual diagnoses can certainly be wrong. They are definitely useful, especially from a trained eye, but tests are another way to verify that you have HSV. Remember, HSV does not appear on a regular STI panel (since it's not tested for/detected through urine). So, for you to verify you have it you would need to wait 12+ weeks for the IgG test. For him, since it seems he wasn't showing symptoms and/or doesnt know he may have it/contracted it, he would get the IgG blood test also, but wouldn't necessarily need to wait the 12+ weeks. So in summary, a visual diagnosis can be incorrect. However, a visual diagnosis + the fact it responded to antivirals + a future blood test all would help strengthen the results. It's like, with each new evidence piece the likelihood/definiteness of HSV becomes more likely! I hope this helps! Blessings, Grace

Okay, it's good that you know it's a primary infection. Bring your script back whenever you'd like! We are here for you!! 🦋

Hi!! Okay, thanks for clarifying!! ☺️ Okay, sounds like herpes, based off the fact that the antivirals helped. It's not great that she didn't ask for a test to be done, although herpes can be diagnosed visually (they are red bumps with a little dimple in the center, they usually ooze a fluid and eventually crust over). Have you ever had an outbreak before, or was this the first one? If so, it sounds like this is a primary outbreak. A primary outbreak indicates the infection is new, meaning it sounds like you got it from the guy. If you want help on how to tell him and let him know, feel free to ask! If you have a script written we can proofread it, too!! I hope this helps!! Stay strong ❤️ You will be okay!!! 🌄🌻 -- Grace

Hello, I am so sorry about the situation. You didn't mean any harm. Have you told her you have it? If not, I reccomend doing so. Relationships to be built on trust and respect. You can help her by being emotionally supportive. If she's upset, validate her emotions. If she just needs someone there, be that person. If she isn't well enough to cook, cook for you both and just be there for her. Be the person you wish you had when you first found out you had HSV! Also, she may not have contracted it. She could just have a flu or a cold (or covid, hypothetically but I really hope not!!). If she starts showing sores, she should get a swab test within 48 hours (the sooner, the better!!). Otherwise she can wait 12+ weeks and get an IgG blood test. Stay well! Be kind to yourself. It will be okay. Blessings, Grace

Hello!! First, take a breath. You are okay. It will be okay! 🌄 In terms of what happened, I have a couple clarifying questions. First, do you know if you have HSV? Or did you get symptoms after this encounter and you aren't sure if you already had HSV and we're having an outbreak or if he passes it to you? If you got tested and it came back positive for HSV, it would be ethical to tell him, especially if the outbreak occurred right after being intimate. If you have not yet been tested, I reccomend doing so. If you are still showing sores, try a swab test. However, they aren't very useful/accurate after 48 hours of showing symptoms. For the blood test, you would have to wait 12+ weeks for the antibodies to be built up in detectable amounts. At this point, who gave it to who doesn't necessarily matter. Instead, being honest about the possibly of you or him or both of you having it is the priority. Herpes is really common. Most people don't even know they have it! However, people should vocalize if they think they may have passed it to someone. You could tell him that you showed symptoms of a bad dermatological issue after sex, and reccomend he get tested. He should be aware of his health and if he has it not just for his own well-being but for the well-being of the next/future person he is intimate with. If you are afraid he will be upset, that is not in your control. How people react to us is on THEM. Sex is a mature thing and every time you have sex there is always a risk, so when someone comes up we need to be level headed and calm and rational. If he doesnt understand where it came from, you could explain that it is common, many people (especially men) are asymptomatic, and it can pass from oral cold sores, too. If he preformed oral sex to you, and he has cold sores, you could have gotten HSV that way, if he gave it to you. I hope this helps!! Stay calm andbe kind to yourself 🌻. We are here to support you!! Sending blessings your way! 🌄 -- Grace

Hi!!! Oh my golly!! Good for you for being so direct. Good luck 🍀! Let us know how it goes ☺️!!

Hello! This is a great question. I am going to do some research on this and get back to you ASAP! However, what I do know is that herpes can lay dormant for many years and eventually a person may have no outbreaks. In addition, I know that herpes antibodies can actually reduce when someone doesn't have outbreaks for a very long time. However, since the virus is for life, just because someone doesn't have outbreaks doesn't mean the virus isn't in their system anymore. I don't think the virus can 100% be gone from someone's body since viruses technically aren't alive and therefore cannot die (kinda freaky to think about!) I am going to do research and get back to you! Thank you so much for asking this question, as I am sure others have wondered the same thing!! Sending blessings of happiness and health your way! 🌄 -- Grace

Hi!! First, hooray! It is so nice that you met this person, and it's so kind that he booked a plane ticket. He definitely seems interested and invested in trying to make things work even if you live on opposite side of the country, which is wonderful. In terms of disclosing, it totally makes sense to feel nervous. If you think that you are going to be intimate with him during your stay, I think it would be a good idea to tell him prior to leaving. As you said, telling him in person and then being stranded there would of course not be a happy thing. However, if you plan to keep things plutonic and just friendly, then telling him isn't a really needed. I have disclosed to others over text because it was either long-distance or they were in the military and only could be home at certain times, since I figured it would be sad to get so invested in everything for them to be like "that's a deal breaker" and I see they aren't the type of person I want to be with. Honestly, I've learned that sometimes an early disclosure helps me see what type of person they are and their intentions. Some people have responded with kindness and acceptance and others reveal that their intentions were they only wanted to be physically intimate with me (not emotionally, which is what I want) and are judgemental and narrow-minded. Its great that you drafted out what to tell him when you disclose if you choose to do so. Since he works in health care, I would like to think that he is understanding of the commonness of HSV and not give into societal stigmas and worries. Also, since you are traveling alone and meeting this man on the other side of the country and meeting him alone, I totally reccomend giving one of your friends the location of where you'll be staying and your expected arrival home date, for safety precautions. It's always better to be on the safe side, even if you trust this guy it's really key to have a safety plan and for someone to know where you'll be and when you'll be home!! I hope this all helps!! Sending happiness and blessings your way! 🌄 -- Grace

Hello!! I am so sorry you are experiencing a UTI. Sometimes stress or illegal the body experiences can trigger an outbreak, especially if that stress or illness is located in the region where you get outbreaks (such as having a UTI). I also have GHSV-1. I'm sure you know that it is typically less aggressive than GHSV-2, but of course secondary outbreaks can occur. It's hard to have both a UTI and an outbreak at the same time since it can feel so uncomfortable. It's great you are taking the Valtrex, as that should help clear up the sores. The diluted apple cider vinegar is great, but if you notice the acidity is burning the sores, don't use it. Also, to avoid skin irritation or an misbalance of vaginal pH (the vagina has a naturally acidic pH but introducing apple cider vinegar topically could offset vaginal bacteria) you could try taking a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before bed so it clears out the urinary tract, where a UTI is centralized. As you sleep it works it's way through your kidneys and urethral tube and helps clear out the bacteria. Staying hydrated, avoiding excessive amounts of sugar, and being kind to yourself are all key ways to heal 🌄! Avoid tight or non-breathable clothing to prevent any irritation of the sores. If you have itching or burning, try filling a little plastic spray bottle (you can get them at the dollar store) with ice cubes and water and set the nozzle to the mist setting. You can spray it on the area/sores and it helps a lot. Also, if you have burning from sores when going to the bathroom the ice water must can help, too. Stay well and feel better!! Sending prayers of health and happiness your way 🌄🌻. -- Grace

@Wonderlust_girl Hello!! I am so sorry to hear about your UTI. It will pass! Plenty of water helps. Also, apple cider vinegar helps too. It tastes like poo but a tablespoon before bed helps! Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure so many people can relate. I cannot even imagine how it felt to be so young and have so much happen! You are a warrior and have overcome so much; give yourself credit for that ❤️. Therapy is such a blessing, especially while in college. Also, studying radiology sounds SO COOL!! Stay strong and remember that you are beautiful, pure, and worthy of love, kindness, and respect. Hold your head high always!! You are a badass!! 🌄❤️⭐ If you ever need anything, please reach out. If you ever have questions about navigating college life, feel free to ask! I am finishing up my fifth year in college right now. Sending blessings of health and happiness your way!! 🌄 -- Grace

Of course. If you need any support or advice, feel free to post anytime!!

Of course! I hope it goes well!! Keep us updated ☺️!!