Flowerteacher55

Hi Asya! I am so sorry I never replied! I just realized that. I apologize! GHSV-1 is typically the less aggressive type of HSV. The fact that you had chills, fever, body aches, etc. after intimacy with him totally makes sense, as that was the primary outbreak (which we know now since your test came back positive for HSV-1). It's great that you told him an STI panel does not include HSV testing! So many people do not know that, and educating others is wonderful. Regarding your question: To become familiar with your symptoms, you can log them and keep track of them so you know the "warning signs" of your prodrome. Prodrome symptoms are a helpful thing because they act as a little "warning flag" that you are about to have an outbreak, so you can take anitvirals, abstain from sex, etc. Future outbreaks may have the same fever. aches, chills symptoms, however they would most likely be much more mild. Prodrome symptoms can include burning, itching, redness, tingling, and any other symptoms you experienced during the primary outbreak. For example, if your lymph nodes in the groin-area were swollen during your primary outbreak, that could happen. during the next/future outbreak(s) as well. I hope you are doing well! Sending blessings and prayers your way! 🙂 -- grace

Hello! I am so sorry that you've been experiencing those symptoms. I am sure they are distracting and worrying! Do you have any other symptoms? How long ago was your first outbreak, and was it severe, moderate, or mild? Has the tingling, burning, and buzzing gone on for an entire month? How soon after your first outbreak did this start? Also, have you had any secondary outbreaks yet, or did you just have your primary outbreak and then these symptoms? If this has been lasting for a month, it definitely sounds like you may have some neuralgia from the outbreak. If the symptoms have been lasting for a few days, it could be a prodrome symptoms, and you may be having your first secondary-outbreak soon. I recommend logging your symptoms to track any changes, triggers, or when the tingling improves or worsens. Having this data can be helpful to bring to a doctor so they can best hypothesize what the cause of this could be. I would schedule an appointment with your doctor, and explain that you think you have post-herpetic neuralgia and have been having symptoms for a month. They will most likely want to see you ASAP and you'll get an appointment quickly! You could also see youth OBGYN if you want, too. In the meantime, try icing or using heat packs to soothe the nerves. I hope that helps! Feel better! Sending prayers of health and happiness your way ❤️ -- Grace

Hello! It's great that you are going to talk to her, especially if you have been together for over a month. Getting the IgM also is a great idea. The little indentation is typical of an H sore. Usually what happens is that little indention becomes raised and filled with fluid (usually white), which is what it looks like in the second photo. The tingling and redness prior to the outbreak also sounds like H. I would definitely talk to her about it. It can be scary, but honesty is always best, and it shows you care not just about your health but her health, too. Conversations like that actually make a relationship stronger, too! It will all be okay! Feel free to reach out if you need advice on how to bring it up to her. Stay well!

Hi!! Great question. Reddit can be very unreliable, so it's always great to fact-check any data you get from there. Cross-referencing from reliable, scientific-backed sources always is a good idea, even with other scientific sources! I have also heard that the risk of transmission reduces as time passes, however how much it reduces, I would imagine, depends on the person. I am not sure if that 1.3% chance is an accurate percent! Also, using condoms and antivirals are awesome protective measures, especially if you are asymptomatic. According to a 2011 article published on the National Institute of Health Database, "HSV-2 shedding may also decrease over time, as 2 studies demonstrated that subclinical shedding rates declined by approximately half after the first year of infection [6, 8]. Despite these observations, detailed data on genital HSV-2 shedding many years after herpes acquisition are limited." Here is the article if you wanted to read it!: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3058740/ The World Health Organization reports that, "The frequency of outbreaks tends to decrease over time but can occur for many years." Here is the article from WHO if you wanted to read it!: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus (the quote is under "signs and symptoms"). I hope this helps! Blessings Grace

@Ksanz96 Hello! I am happy that you feel a little better and learned! We are always here to support you however you need. If you have any questions, or need support, feel free to reach out or post again! Stay well 🙂 -- Grace

@DeMar Hello! No need to apologize! The forum is a place for collaborative questions and answers, so feel free to post anywhere 🙂! Outbreaks can definitely be triggered by hormones. Not all people have hormones as a trigger, however if someone does have hormones as a trigger, I am not sure if outbreaks would be less common after menopause, but that is a really great question! Perhaps during the first few stages of menopause, the sudden changes and drop of hormone levels may trigger an outbreak since the body is experiencing stress, but I would imagine that once the the levels steady and stay low, outbreak likelihood would decrease. Also, being asymptomatic can be difficult to track the "warning signs" that an outbreak will occur, as you do not get the "warning signs". However, what can help is using a calendar to track when your outbreaks occur. That way, you can see if there are any trends (maybe you notice you get an outbreak about every 2 months, and then you can estimate when you will get another outbreak! So, it's kind of like tracking your own data and observing trends so you can predict when you may have an outbreak! You also can track what happened right before an outbreak appeared (maybe you exercised, were sick, had stress, etc) and you may be able to determine your triggers, as well! 🙂 I hope this helps!! Blessings, Grace

Hello!! Thank you for sharing your story, advice, and encouragement. We appreciate you and your posts! 🌻🦋. I am so sorry for your loss of your husband. It sounds like the relationship you had was beautiful, and pray we all get to have a relationship where someone accepts us as we are and sees us for who we truly are ❤️. With what you said about H and dating, You are SO right. We always have a choice! We don't have have to see it as someone choosing us or not. WE get to choose if the other person is for us or not, too. We also get to choose how we see ourselves, and whether we make a big deal out of our H or not. God Bless You ❤️!! -- Grace

Hello! As @Km_girl said, it is extremely unlikely to contract the same virus in two different locations on the body (unless you contracted both at the same time). If you already have HSV-1 somewhere on the body, such as orally, it is very very unlikely you would contract HSV-1 genitally from someone with genital or oral HSV-1 (from intimacy or receiving oral sex). Although unlikely, the risk isn't 0%, so of course, it's still important to take precautions. caution. If someone has an active outbreak, avoid contact with that area or avoid intimacy all together, for their comfort (outbreaks hurt) and for your comfort and peace of mind, too. If someone has a new HSV-1 infection of newer than 12 weeks, they most likely have not yet built up the antibody amounts needed that protect from reinfection at another location on the body. Also, likelihood of contracting it can increase especially if someone has an autoimmune disorder that prevents them from maintaining or building sufficient antibodies to prevent reinfection. Remember, you can still contract HSV-2 orally or genitally as well (although rare to have both types in the same location). I hope this helps! Stay kind to yourself! 🌻 Blessings, Grace

Hi! This is a great question that so many people wonder about!! In short, no, you cannot transmit HSV to yourself. The only ways you could are if it is your primary outbreak and your body hasn't built up IgG antibodies yet. However, if you've had HSV for 12+ weeks, you should be safe 🦋! Now, could you give yourself HSV even with your antibodies? Yes, if perhaps you had an autoimmune disorder that impacted your ability to build up antibodies. Let's say you don't have an autoimmune disorder and it's been 12+ weeks. You could still infect yourself hypothetically but you would REALLY have to try! As a social worker once told me, "You'd literally have to rub your hand around down there while you're shedding and like, lick your hand all over." 😂 A good rule of thumb, if you ever feel a little worried, it's okay to abstain from intimacy. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable during intimacy! Tingling is typically a sign that you are shedding the virus, so when you feel tingling I would recommend abstaining from intimacy as well. I hope this helps!! 🌻 Blessings, Grace

Hello, First, take a deep breath! No matter what happens, you will be okay! From what you explained, your lip perhaps turned red right after kissing do to chappedness. If you already have chapped lips or dry skin around the mouth, kissing someone can can irritate the skin because of all the saliva. (kind of like when you lick chapped lips they get WAY worse!). The spot that appeared could be a very clogged pore, which can happen from having your facial oils (and probably it's worse with another person's facial oils!) rubbing together. Plus, intimacy can make you sweat, which can cause clogged pores as well. Did this person have an active cold sore that you could notice? Also, did you preform oral sex to her? Are you worried she transmitted it to you from her mouth or private area? Also, have you noticed any other symptoms with it, such as tingling, headache, swollen lymph nodes in your neck? You mentioned itchiness and redness, but I wanted to ask if you noticed any other symptoms when or before the little spot appeared. The first photo-- are you referring to the red bump with the little indentation in it? Almost like a little dimple? Did that red dimpled spot then progress into the second photo? Did the spot have any fluid inside? Did you apply anything to it to help it heal or did it heal on it's own? To answer your questions: 1. Herpes sores CAN be a single sore, you are correct. People with oral HSV-1 often get one larger single 'fever blister' or cold sore. However, during outbreaks people can also get single-sore outbreaks on their lower parts too. It all depends. But yes, single-sore outbreaks ARE possible! 2. HSV is really misunderstood by both non-medical people AND medical people. I've talked to many doctors and they all had a different approach to handling it, and they either brushed it off like it was irrelevant or really didn't offer advice. A Planned Parenthood or reproductive health clinic can be really helpful. General practitioners can also be great too. ONGYNs can help those with those corresponding body parts as well. What really helped me was going to my college health clinic, since they see STIs all the time. They were understanding, knowledgeable, informative, and supportive!! 3. An IgM test is a blood test that tests for IgM antibodies. IgM antibodies are the antibodies that first appear when you are infected, and they reduce in number within weeks. So, if this is HSV, an IgM test would make the most sense. An IgM blood test tests for IgM antibodies, which build up gradually and typically take 12 or more weeks for aomeone to develop detectable numbers of them. So, it wouldnt do any good to get an IgG test this early. 4. You can ask her if she's ever had a cold sore, or if she had one while you were intimate. You can say that the virus that causes cold sores can be passed to people through kissing or oral sex, and after being together you noticed this cold-sore resembling bump on your lip. Here, you're not accusatory, and you don't even have to say the "h-word" if you don't want to. If she does have herpes, it is possible she doesn't know it. However, it's good to bring up that you experienced an out-of-place bump, for both your health and her's. If you are worried that you got it from preforming oral sex, ask about STI testing. Honestly, it isn't insulting. It's routine procedure to ask them about their STI history because your health matters! So, you could ask and say hey we skipped the part of talking about STI testing, have you had anything or have you ever been tested? You could ask if she's ever had any bumps "down there", etc, and share your own things (if any). Honesty is the best policy! I hope that this helps. Hang in there! Blessings, Grace

Hello, I am so sorry that you are under such stress. Facing a diagnosis can be very overwhelming and confusing and scary at first. Please know that you will be okay! You are not alone. We are here to support you however we can. You may feel dirty, ugly, shameful, or bad. In reality, you are not any of those things. You are pure. You are beautiful. You deserve self-love and to hold your head high. You are good. First, not all videos or information on the internet are quality, scientifically-backed, reliable sources. Because there's so much incorrect information out there, it can be SUPER scary and overwhelming to read so many different things. This is why it is so important to use reliable resources when researching! The CDC, NIH, https://www.herpes.org.nz/, and https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/herpes/ are all reliable, fact-based resources! 🙂 Prodrome refers to the symptoms your body produces that act as a warning flag that the HSV virus is shedding and/or that you are about to have an outbreak. Prodrome symptoms can include tingling, itching, burning, redness, flu-like symptoms, headache, fatigue, and more. These symptoms vary for everyone. Some people get very intense prodrome symptoms, while others may have very little (and some people have none, which is called having the virus asymptomatically). Basically prodrome indicates viral shedding, which causes sores to appear. Overall, prodrome symptoms are a "warning bell" that your virus is active, which means transmission likelihood is high and to abstain from intimacy. Also, it's a "warning bell" to prepare for an outbreak (abstain from intimacy, take antivirals if you want, etc). So, although they are not pleasant, there is a benefit to prodrome symptoms! They are a little alert bell telling you that you are about to have an outbreak (sores) and are shedding the virus. The shedding the virus part is essential here -- when the virus sheds, that's when it's 'awake' and can infect a potential partner. So, if you have prodrome symptoms abstain from intimacy. Now, since you just had your first outbreak, it takes a little time to figure out what your prodrome symptoms are. What you can do is think back to what symptoms you had with the primary outbreak, as your prodrome symptoms could mimic those (although typically the prodrome symptoms will be MUCH less severe!) Then, take notice of any symptoms of burning, itching, etc, and if get an outbreak after these symptoms, there ya go, those are some/all of your prodrome symptoms! Now that you know these, you better know the sound of your shedding alarm bell. 🙂 You have GHSV-1, which I have also. GHSV-1 typically has many less outbreaks than GHSV-2. Also, liklihood of transmission is also lower. I have had GHSV-1 for about 3 years, and I've only had one other outbreak besides my first one. It was very small, just two little sores. They healed very quickly-- I didn't even take my antiviral medication! Outbreaks can be triggered by hormones, and many people with GHSV-2 have outbreaks aligned with their menstrual cycles. You have GHSV-1, so the liklihood of that is less. Also, everyone has different trigger. Hormones may trigger it for some, while friction, stress, or something else triggers it for someone else! I hope this helps provide some insight and comfort. Stay well and be kind to yourself! ❤️ I'm sending happy healing thoughts your way! Reach out with any questions or if you need to talk! Blessings, Grace

Hello, That's a great question. So, since your outbreak site is located on that small section of your rear, transmission rates (I think!) would be lower than if your outbreak site were on your genitals, since there is less friction and contact with that small rear area. I am not a doctor so I don't know the exact answer, but logically, it seems that yes, the risk would be lower than if the site were located on the frontal genital area.

Hi!! I love how you are finding scientifically backed solutions! That is essential, as so many fraudulent companies make really useless and even harmful products, and they prey on those desperate to find remedies. It's terrible!! So, thank you for providing these names of potential remedies and reliable sources. You are appreciated! A note to friends: before you try these or anything, talk to your doctor as they could interact with medicine you may already be taking for other things. Also, you could have an allergy to any of these products. Do your research and be safe! ❤️ Blessings, Grace

Hello! I hope you are well. If you celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving Eve! 🦃 It's great that your wife never contracted it. Honestly, it all comes down to timing. Some people are intimate for years and never pass it to their partner; others may pass it to them the first time they are intimate! Medication use, severity of outbreaks, frequency of outbreaks, and the type of HSV someone has all can impact likelihood of transmission. Also, being symptomatic helps, too, as you can be more aware of when you are having an outbreak so you can avoid intercourse. Asymptomatic folks do not know when they are shedding the virus, hence why they may be more apt to take daily suppressant medication. In regards to the antiviral lube, that is a good question. I don't think that it exists. I also do not know how much protection it would offer because antivirals do not kill viruses (viruses cannot be killed). So, even if there was an antiviral lube, I think it would only really make a difference for the person with HSV (like it might help reduce pain or sores). Its kind of like... If someone without HSV took antivirals, it wouldnt protect them from contracting HSV. So, using antiviral lube wouldn't either (I am not a doctor but I am 90% sure this is correct!!!). I hope this helps!!! -- Grace

Hello, @BidauGustang!! I hope you are well. Sorry for the delayed reply! I am so sorry that you have been struggling with the emotional weight of HSV. Please know that you are worthy of love and happiness. You are not defined by your HSV, a common virus that 2/3 of people have one form of! Stigmas are societal constructs... They are influenced by fear and misunderstandings, and are NOT based on truth or facts. You are NOT dirty. You are not bad. You have no reason to feel shame or guilt. You are pure. You are good. Hold your head high and be kind to yourself. Suicidal thoughts can be really scary. Remember that you deserve to live. These thoughts are often manifestation of stress, however of you ever feel like you would act on thoughts or they become too overwhelming, there are helpline numbers to call, listed for Indonesia here (the link did not show up as clickable but copy and pasting the link into a browser should work!): https://www.opencounseling.com/hotlines-id One of the numbers listed is +62 813 14988214. Another awesome resource based in the US is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ Please reach out if you have questions or you need a friend. We are here to support you however you need. You are not alone. You are strong and you are so much stronger than you know. You can do this! Sending Blessings of Happiness and Healing Your Way 🌻🌄!! -- Grace

Hello, I hope you are feeling a little better since you posted! I am so sorry you are experiencing this emotional and physical pain. You don't deserve this at all, and please know that there is hope! Viruses are odd beings... they can be triggered or "awoken" by different triggers, usually that place some type of stress on the body. This can include emotional stress, friction, another illness (even a cold or flu) or hormones, among other causes. Have you gotten a chance to get an IgG blood test to confirm it's HSV? Also, this would tell you the type of HSV it is. The extreme pain and tingling sounds like it is more likely HSV-2. To help soothe the nerves, try heat or ice packs. Also, have you noticed any other symptoms besides the tingling? Have you noticed any redness, itching, sores, or flu-like symptoms? Also, on your little bio section to the left, it says you've been experiencing Tinnitus... I also have this and it is really annoying. It is often times due to sinuses! Also, I have TMJ which causes it and it is very painful. TMJ can also cause neck and head pain and eye pain. Perhaps get checked out for that as well! You also mentioned vision issues in your bio. That coupled with the nerve pain and Tinnitus definitely sounds neurological, and could or could not be herpes-related. These symptoms are a sure sign that your body is under distress, and perhaps getting a general blood work panel done to see if if your levels are healthy and if your white blood cell count is up would help shed some light on what could be going on. Also, a spinal tap could help see what's going on, too. They aren't very pleasant but they help in diagnosing neurological conditions. I hope that this all helps. Please take care of yourself and stay strong. We are here to support you! Sending blessings of health and happiness your way 🌅❤️! Blessings, Grace

Hi, @Lula22 i hope you've been feeling at least a little bitter since you last posted! Yes, the fact that the antivirals aren't working does add in a possibility that it may not be H, however sometimes people need to try two or even three different antivirals before they find the one that works for them. Have you tried Famcyclovir or Valtrex? Perhaps another antiviral type may show results and healing!! Sending healing vibes and blessings your way 🌄!

Hi! No worries at all!! I am so sorry you didn't sleep well. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Blessings!

Hi, Pecan, Thank you for sharing your story with us. First, I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. I cannot even imagine how it must feel to have lived a lie of shame for so long. I am so sorry about that. I truly hope you know that this is not your fault. Nothing is your fault. None of the past abuse and neglect. You did not deserve that and you did not deserve this terrible situation. Please know that you are strong, beautiful, and worthy of an amazing husband. You are not defined by having any illness or STI. I am so sorry that stigmas harmed your self esteem when you were first diagnosed with HPV. That is so terrible. No one should ever be shamed for anything, especially having a virus that they didn't ask for. You are not a victim. You are the hero of your own story and you are a badass! Not only did you not give up and kept advocating for yourself to find the truth, but you also have made it through so much. Addiction is a struggle, abuse is a struggle, negative relations are a struggle. But you have persevered and that is so beautiful. You are truly living proof that the truth always is told and advocating for ourselves is a wonderful thing that can truly change our lives 🌄. In regards to now... Take time to grieve, feel emotions, and cry if you need to. You have every right to be frustrated with the completely unethical actions and motives of the that one doctor. That is disgraceful! The way people treat us is a reflection of THEM, not of us. So, no matter who is cruel, a spouse, a parent, a friend, a doctor, do not let this cloud the way you see yourself. You are wonderful and deserve to be treated with respect and kindness! If you need to talk, feel free to reach out. I understand the complexity of trauma and having an STI, and how having an STI can actually bring out anxiety, guilt, shame, and past feelings of trauma. Also, I have struggled with an eating disorder for years and it is similar to addiction patterns. If you need someone to talk to, I am here. Sending blessings and prayers your way 🌄 - Grace

Hi, Lula! I am so sorry that you are struggling with the long primary outbreak. The thing with H is that it affects every single person differently. Some people may not "check all the boxes" when it comes to classic symptoms so often times doctors dismiss the possibility just based off a visual exam of the lesions/sores/cuts! The vulva is a really sensitive, and there have been other posts of people explaining they had paper cut like cuts on their inner and outer labia. Thrush is a cause of this but I am sure that others have their HSV present as cuts. Is there anyone on the site who has tested positive for H and has cuts as sores during outbreaks? Please share and support our friend Lula!! Blessings ❤️

Hi @Sumshine! I loved reading your post. It's beautiful that your late husband was so accepting. That's how strong love really is!! Nothing can break it ❤️ (not even h!). Also, it is so true about computers and online dating-- people dated and lived lives BEFORE them so they certainly don't need to solely rely on them at all!!! Also, being happy by ourselves is another thing to practice, as often times we think we are a half to a whole. But, you are whole whether you have a partner or not! We are all whole and worthy of love, partner or not! Thank you so much for your wonderful advice and insight!! Sending happy blessings your way!! 🌄🌻

@Sumshine Yes, I wonder what other explanation the doctors could have. Because so many signs are pointing to HSV, so I wonder if they offered any hypothetical other possibilities if not HSV. They ruled out so much (other STIs, for example) but I feel they didnt give enough information as to what o possibly rule in as a possible explanation! @Karl44 I hope you are doing okay today!

Hello, @brambrook, I am so sorry for the emotional and physical pain you are experiencing. You don't deserve this at all. We are here to support you however you need. please know that it is 110% okay not to have a positive outlook right now. Take the time to cry if you need to. You might feel angry, sad, apathetic, hopeless, confused, guilty, etc, and you may feel them one after another or you might feel only a few of those or none of them or all of them! However you grieve it okay. We all go through stages differently before we reach the acceptance and self-love stage of healing. Did you get a test of any kind to verify you have HSV, and if so, is it HSV-1 or -2? Also, how long were you on the antivirals for? It seems like your body may still be building up antibodies (it takes about 12+ weeks) so your body may still be struggling with the primary infection/outbreak. Also, it sounds like the outbreak left some damage to your nerves, which is so painful, and I am so sorry. Try ice or heat to soothe the nerves. You can place a hot/cold pack on your lower back at the base of the spine and see if it helps at all. Also, have you gone back to a follow up appointment or have you notified your doctor of the worsening of symptoms? If not, that may be a good idea. I am sending blessings and prayers of happiness and health your way. You are stronger than you know ❤️🌄. You are worthy. You are loved. You are pure and good. Reach out if you need someone to talk to! You are not alone ❤️. -- Grace

@Karl44 I say your best bet is to get back to CAN as soon as you can and get an appointment with your doctor and request a referral for a virologist or urologist (or both). Don't take the doctors' dismissiveness personally. The way other treat you is a reflection of them, not of you. You have every reason to request tests! It is great you are taking charge of your health. That should be rewarded, not ignored!! You can make it through this. You are stronger than you think, and so is your body. Our bodies are our friends. They keep us well, and every cell is trying to help you heal right now. Although it seems like the world and your body are against you, I promise they are for you. Things will get better. We are here to support you however you need. There is hope and better things are ahead. I promise ❤️ Reach out if you need anything!! 🌄

@Karl44 Hi! I am so sorry that you are struggling. You don't deserve this. I promise it will get better. The early stages of everything are so rough, but remember that your body is doing the best it can right now. Be kind to yourself and make sure you're eating, staying hydrated, and sleeping (although it may be really hard to do these things!) Have you seen any changes with your symptoms? Also, when do you head back to CAN? I'm here if you need to talk!! Sending you healing prayers and blessings 🌄!