willow

A vent as well as success... sorry its so long Its the long weekend, sunday night a girlfriend and i decided to go to a club, our mission : to get white girl wasted! And we succeeded! I felt amazing, the alcohol took hold of my fear and i didnt think about H the entire evening! Next thing i know this super cute guy starts dancing with me.. (me? ... why not me!) So the drunken adventure began.. he and his friend suggested to my friend and i to join them at their campsite, ditch the club, and be renecks again, roast some dogs over a fire. The first thing i blurted out.. "im not going to sleep with you tonight!" The cute guy laughed and said "thats fine, we're having a bonfire, not an orgy.." So the 4 of us left, giggling the entire time. Next thing i know this guy and i r making out, we end up in his trailer. i repeat myself, "we're not having sex..." he replies with.. "i know, cant i just kiss a beautiful woman?" After an hour of kissing, he carreses me, my thighs, my stomach, my breasts.. then he asked "i know u dont want to have sex, may i ask why? Is it the one night stand u r worried about? Or am i just not attractive enough?" I stoped his hand. I couldnt stand the thought of his guy thinking HE wasnt attractive.. "No no no, your sexy as hell! Its just... well... i may or may not have herpes symplex 2 and if i do, i dont want to pass it to u with a one night stand.." He giggled... like actually giggled at me. "Seriously babe, is that what you're worried about? Its fine! My dad's a dr, and im in school to become one myself! I know lots about." Me : "oh!?... well. Did you know that i could still pass it to u even if we use a condom?" Him : "ya.... whats yout point babe? I think youre beautiful, dont let what you may or may not have change your mind on sex, if you dont want to its fine, but im willing to take the risk! We didnt end up having sex that night... no instead i went home with my friend via taxi.. He asked me to join him and his friends last night, their last night in town , he kissed me hello, We all had drinks again together... lights out... and bam, we had sex. I dont usually do one nighters, i mean i have in the past, but thru all this h buisiness i honestly want a relationship.. i miss it, the comfort of knowing ur man (or woman) is there for ya after a long day at work. A part of me knows i only did it because he made me feel sexy, and didnt care about h. another part of me feels kinda stupid because... it was a one time thing. Either way, it happend, and i geuss i wanted to share this with everyone to show and prove it can happen, love after h, or just casual sex... I know i sound a lil trashy, i feel a lil trashy to be honest, but i mean ... hey if i can do a one night wonder with a stranger, maybe that relationship idea isnt so far fetched... xox

Wow, i enjoyed reading this blog just as much as i enjoyed reading your wingman post! It is soo true how H can weed out the pesks and bring you towards a garden full of hope. thank u dancer!!

I love that quote! Wish i heard it years ago, as @WCSDancer2010 if its not herpes its something else that creates our insecurities, thanks for sharing @hope!

This is exciting news! Maybe in the future our children.. or children's children wont have to be exposed to the virus! Imo, i have more faith in a working vaccine for h than i do cancer.. but i love @Adrial's p.o.v. of how we CAN still be sexy, and live fulfilling lives with h even if there is no cure! Inspirational, both of you!

Tooooo funny! I find myself almost , or fully disclosing to alot of people of how i may or may not havr hsv2, because someone usually has some stupid joke about herpes, then i chime in with "well... did you know..." Though ive never had a convo as commical as yours.. Right arm herry... right arm

So how do we go about changing that aspect of the stigma? As you said education... but it only goes so far...

I 100% agree with dancer, i understand your confusion/frustration tho. think of it this way maybe... i used to smoke pot, 8 years ago (im 24 now)... So because i smoked a joint when i was oh lets say 15, does that mean i have to hang around people who smoke pot now at age 24? F**K NO! Does someone who failed math back in high school always have to hang around "dumb people" because the "smart people" wont accept them? F**K no! does some one who had a one night stand have to stick to only one night stands? Maybe the pot head wanted a change, maybe the kid who failed math isthe smartest electricion with the highest paid job! And maybe, that special someone who had a one nighter was lonely, and is now standing at the alter with their perfect match awaiting the life theyve always wanted to start..3..2..1... "i do" im not going to point out that you are judgementel, but the comments youve made are.. i have a couple black friends, no std, not poor, i have a super rich "daddy's boy" friend who has had 3 stds, and hasnt been sleeping around imo, all yhe girls hes been with have been 2 to 5 yr relationships. My cousin died last year, to drugs, but wasnt a druggie, one of my best friends is the nicest non permiscuous girls in the world needed an abortion because she was raped. Shit happens, no statistics, no judgement.... just flush

Miss kelly... i totaly hear ya girl! I stopped seein a guy early september.... dec had a one nighter... (unfortuantly both of us drunk so it wasnt good) Havent had any type of intamcy since.. its driving me nuts!!! And i do as well have that judgment feeling from friends when i talk about sex.. Glad im not the only one feeling this

Thanks guys! So informative! Looove it!

Aww im so sorry to hear all ur goin thru! Best advice i can give.. is take some ibeprofen for the swelling.. hopefully that helps abit.. maybe even take pictures of it right now to show the doc, cuz it might go away befor u see them

Just curious..... if someone has hsv1 genitally, can they get hsv2 genitally as well? And vise versa? I know it might sound silly, i was just pondering different situations i may come across in the future..

As herry said, there are ALOT of guys/galls out there who honestly dont mind about someone having h! On a side note, my sis knows this chick that has h as well, and she's very ... uhm... ok no nice words for this particular girl, she's with a different man almost every weekend... point being tho.. she informs everyone shes about to be intimate with of her "condition" and has honetly NEVER been turned down! imo... doesnt matter who u are, "monster" or not, dont let h be in controll of the sexy woman u are!!!! Because lets face it, we're all a "catch" !!!

Pretty sure that has been the most poetic way of informing someone on what you ate for dinner! I hear sadness in your words, but i see a new beggining for you! Keep up your possitivity! And try not to ponder too hard, itll drive ya nuts! Weve all had happier moments, sure, but if we saty by eachothers sides... comfort.. love... and inform... then hell! H aint no biggy!

Thank you bmt28.. means alot

Its stories like these that make me want to hit doctors upside the head! Like seriously, why are WE informing THEM of our diagnoses? Yet they get the pay? Grrr

I highly doubt you'd loose your chd or youe job my dear, herpes is classifoed as an std only bevause rhat is the mose common way of transmission. Oral hsv isnt always from sex, and hsv 1 or 2 can occure on peoples thighs, my friends mom was born with it..... try to look on the brighter side of this journey!

Thank you for your post @bmt28! Im awaiting a blood test to happen in june, and might want to talk about disclosing in my future, my tests have been somewhat inconclusive so far, but i love reading about others success with hsv, i might have ghvs2. Uhg... oh well come what may! xox :-)

Well thats certainly a little easyer to hear that its not contagious as you thought, but i would give that i.d. dr a try too, since they specialize with this sorta thing, they might have a bit more of a refreshing response. Do what you believe is safe, only time can tell at this point. Nice to know no one laughed this time! Good luck! xox

I agree with misskelly, "but don't destroy yourself over making a timeline."

Hi fe, first jist take a breath, stop panicking! Do u recal having an o.b. when she would cuddle next to u? And even without pj bottoms, im assuming underwear was worn... i.m.o. you probably did not transmit the virus... Bumps on a child could mean sooo many things!!!! Heat rash, (which is my first go to thought).. or, chicken pox, exzema, phoriosis, measles, hives, heck eveen scabies. could she have been infected by a poisonous bush ie poison ivy from hiking/camping? get her to the doc, and see what they say? Dont stress toooo much! Just because h might always be on our minds, doesnt mean its always the cause of the symptoms we feel or see. try to relax, ans if you did accidentally transmit it, we will all help you get through this! H isnt a death sentance, its a skin condition, everything WILL be ok, hang in there! xox

Its prob the right thing to do to at least tell the recent ex, i think thats your decision though, maybe think about the eces situation, if it was months ago sure, but if it was 5 or so yrs ago..... i personally wouldnt...

Its heartbreaking to read this, as i ki da had a similar experience... but im so happy to hear u r ok! Ur right about what if u didnt have hsv, slept with him, felt closer, just to fimd out all it was, was sex. dang people and their trying so hard just to have a f***buddy!! Good for u though! And hope u have fun on your date! xox

If ur not having an o.b., ... i think you should be fine... if you were super worried.. maybe buy some condoms? Or go buy a toy! A lil vibe or somethin ;-) just make sure to clean it afterwards:-p but im assuming a guys perspective is more helpfull..

Is it possible to be herpes zoster?... the shingles virus?

As i said dancer... hes the 9th doctor, and i only just met him maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago.. i def agree tho, docs dont know jack! And its fruatrating as all hell when ur confused and just want answers.