willow

Love is.. A peacefull, fullfilling emotion towards another soul, towards life. it is the only emotion that leads us not into the tempation of darkness, but rather expresses itself by showing us trust, that there IS a path we can choose to follow, and there IS light ahead so long as remember to open our curious eyes. Love.. is what you make it. And like herpes, there are no rules, no boundries, it hides from us, it surprises us, it makes us stronger.

Darling... breathe in for a sec..... and out... this guy sounds likr a caring man. Did he say to you he was going to leave you? Did he tell you he may not want to be intimate again? Are you maybe over annalyzing things?. He cares about YOU!!. If he didnt.. he wouldnt be supporting you thru this time. i think you need to stand tall, and tell yhis man what u just told us. "I love you, i care about you immensly, i dont want some silly little skin condition to get in the way of what we have!"..... try that maybe? *IF you lose him... we will all be here for you! Talk about the facts of h. Talk to him about transmssion rates. theres a hand out on this forum you can print off with all this kind of info... stay strong, i ddont think you need to be as worried as you are, h is just a frustrating thing.. dont let the stigma controll your emotions. I did once. And lets just say if it werent for stumbling across this forrum i wouldjt be here today. YOU can change it. We all can, one tiny step at a time by not embraciing the stigma.

Hey! And welcome to the forum! Im pretty new myself, joined in april.. and sooo thankfull i did. Just wanted to say Thanks for sharing your story!

Oook! Thanks dancer!

Hi @Seekingpeace! Dont be soo hard on yourself chickie! You did the right thing by getting tested in the past, and who were u to know any different with the timing of tests and what not. i myself was blood tested 4 months after possible transmission and was negative.. but when i went again a week ago, it was possitive. if this man is more worried about your own emotions than his, then i hope you can believe that he prob isnt toooo worried if he did end up with it. the best part about knowing is the amount of knowledge u can learn about it. antivirals, condoms, and as Dancer litterally just reminded me.. "other activities" can help u stay intimate with a lower transmission rate. I dont believe u did anything wrong, you didnt lie, and u didnt betray him. you didnt even know the damn bugger was playing hide n seek in ur nerves! You need not to feel the guilt u feel now. Chin up, its not so bad, a skin irritation... like a sunburn maybe.. no touchy touchy for a while if it occures. and then bam, couple days later ur back to your reg ol self! ... just gotta remind yourself to use protection! Hope this helps! xox

Ok thanks dancer! I told him last night that i was sorry we couldnt have sex, and he was fine with it and said that maybe its good he n i are going thru this now togother so soon in the relationship, and that it would make us stronger... cute right? And thanks herry, i think overdoing it the first time might have have been the trigger in the first place.. Slow n gentle it is... for now haha

So my body is finally calming down from what i believe was a mild ob... basically... the bf and i want to know how long to wait after im all cleared up to have sex? yes with protection, no to suppresive therapy, i just finnished 3 days of 2x500mg valtrex yesterday. couple days? Week or so? A few weeks?

Thanks guys, i know u r both right, just one of those days

I was wondering if u guys had any encouraging words to offer me. because u all are so strong, and helpfull, i need out of these tears. i started dating this really awesome guy, i disclosed to him the 2 time we hung out, and hes super sweet and supportive. my 2nd blood test came back possitve a feww days ago and i was absolutly ok with it. And so is he.. wow right? But today has been really horrible for some reason, my symptons of itchin and buring have cleared up, the small bumps are gone. Didnt have blisters tho. I know i should be really happy because things seem to be clearing up, and the new bf is happy that we can have sex soon, and so am i. but for some reason i cant help but feel really sad today, shitty day at work, put the dog down yesterday, and then this horrible thought... if my ex and i never broke up 2 years ago, i wouldnt even have to had worried about getting h. i know i shouldnt dwell, and ive been reading through all the info on this sight, its been helpfull thru the past 6 months... but why am i suddenly thinking about a past relationship? We fought all the time.. 4yrs of it.. its good he n i arent together, and this new guy in my life is soo sweet and caring.. its just.. i dunno hard to think that if i was still with the ex i wouldnt have h. And its weird cuz the past 2 months ive been fine with the idea that i might have it.. uhg sorry for the long vent, im just really sad n need some encouraging words

Congrats man!!! Super stoked for u!

I didnt think of yeast cuz of the bumps.. Hmmmm stupid confusing bodies

Oh ok ... makes sense now. woke up this morning super itchy, what other topical creams are there? Cuz now the hydrocortizone isnt working... and theres 4 or 5 bumps now... The only name i remember is akoe cream haha dagnabit

Totally trying this tomorrow!

Went to the pharmacy, got the antiviral valtrex and hydrocortizone, so far 3 small "pimples".... Just weird how that first tuny bump was by the clit.. and theese small "pimple" are at the base of the vag, q uhg and arrrrtgggggg hahaha.. hydrocortizone seems to help with the discomfort tho

Ok, so... after all my confusion with wether or not i have hsv2, doc just called yesterday, and blood test was possitve. my question right now is wether or not im having a prodome of hsv, or maybe just some other lady problem. in january, i had a teency tiny bump right beside the clit. Barely a bother.. 2 months ago the perinium was itchy as all hell, and a painful bump about an inch and a half long maybe only centimeter wide on the same side that tiny bump was months ago, this weird long "protuding vain looking " bump (not discolloured tho) hurt alot. Was prescribed naproxen as well as a yeast infection pill. right now i have a bit of itchy feeling in the perinium again, and a tiny little "pimple like" bump at the base of the vag opening... no where near that first bump by the clit 6months ago. should i by valtrex right now? Doesnt make sence, i mean if it is an ob or a prodome i thought they show up in the same spot everytime??? Help!!

Ob are just easyer to test for a swab... they should be able to do type specific blood test his doc sounds like a newb

Good luck aimi! Wishing u the best!

@murbs, thanks for your input on this subject, funny cuz a few months ago i was thinking similar thoughts, how i "cant" go back to an ex, mostly cuz i didnt want to tell him i may or may not have hsv2 due to inconclusive results. But you're totally right about not dwelling on the past and trying to live in the present looking towards the future, its both frustrating and exhilirating at times, knowing that my future will be better, by the choices im makking now. @WCSDancer2010 i love what youve said here, " If you can get to a place where you just live each day as it comes, accept it, learn and grow from it, not make up "stories" about how something ruined your day (because it's your REACTION to those things that "ruins" your day, not the event itself" sooo true, wish i could remeber these words when im having a bad day! heers to that @sparklepony!!! When i was younger sex was as casual as a cup of coffee, and not just foe me, but alot of my friends too. not trying to say i slept around alot, but i deffinatly had my moments. hsv has taught me to appreciate myself, and love myself. Therefor the i want someone to love and care for me before i jump into bed with them! You're all amazing! Thanks for ut posts, have a good night everyone!! xox

Hello @flyingpig99! From what ive learned, hsv1 seems like the "better" because the majority of people have hsv1 orally. .therefor transportation from gen to oral, or oral to gen, is unlikely, (still a risk, just not as much) but there are no rules when it comes to hsv. either one causes ob, in either spot. Hsv1 prefers oral. And hsv 2 prefers genital. and if its been over a year since ur last and first ob, thats plenty of time for a type specific blood test! Most blood tests are accurate 12 to 14 weeks after first possible exposure. have you watched @Adrial's video? Its only 8 mins!. hopes this helps xox

Well apparently i slept with her bf... (which ewwww! Never!!) Therefor we r not friends anymore.. so ur wingman theory def helped.. with a friendship. Even tho i STILL dont know if i have it. Im thankfull for it. Help me pick out the scummy people. ironically tho, all my real friends are intrested on lookin at this site. So thats pretty nice

Soo.. a few months back i was tsted for hsv2. I wont get into the emotional breakdown... but it was bad.. next thing i know my best girl friend asked me of sleeping with her bf, as he had a herpes outbreak either a week before or a week after i was tested. first and formost im not a cheater, or a home wrecker, ive been cheated on and ended up with warts because of it so i know the pain behind unfaithfullness... i yelled at my friend.. "how could u possibly think i would EVER do something like that to u? Fast forward a week or so later.. turns out her bf had a hsv1 ob genitally.. go figure, she has hsv1 orally.. duh so a few weeks after that i was asking my friend how her bf was doing, and what exactly his symptons where like (trying to compare cuz my symptons didnt exactly fit the herpes status at the time) She looked at me with this god awful judging stare.. "Oh... well i dont know cuz we have type 1, so its different.." I honestly wanted to tell her to go f*** herself. It was the rudest thing to try and judge someone based on the "fact" that hsv1 is soooo much betterthan hsv2. Ya right it is... So far 4 months after my possible exposure my blood test said neg for hsv1 and 2 (Goin again this june to be more accurate) .. anyways.. shes not the only one who thinks this this, and if hsv2 IS sooo bad compared to hsv1.. and lets say i DO have hsv2. ... Then why did jer bf have a huge 2 week long herpes outbrake.... and so far i havent.. I dont believe either hsv is better or worse than the other. Just curious on why other ppl do ... any thoughts??

From personal experience, some people ARE willing to take the risk, in the exact same way as you would take a risk if your friend said "no dont take a sip from my drink im getting over a cold!" ... Seriously who hasnt? Point being there are some people not wanting to risk anything. As well as people will to risk EVERYTHING!!. Chin up jded! Its a difficult mind set, but eventually your thoughts wont bring you down, and the guys u avoid that aooroach u? Maybe deep down you know ur not ready to date, regardless of h, or maybe deep down u know they arent your type of person?. I realized this just a week ago... i was turning guys down too, then i thought about it , its not because of h... theyre just not "redneck" enough for me! Lol.

And dancer... dont be too jealous.. we were drunk, so it was just plain old blury sex, nothing intresting cuz we obviously didnt take the time to see what the other person liked in bed.. haha

U guys r toooo funny! Thanks for laughs, and yes a condom was used.. you shoulda seen this guys face tho.. "wait.. what? Lemme get this straight.. you're celiac, may or may not have herpes... AND we cant use my condoms, we have to use urs cuz allergic to latex too!.. jeeze glad i live in a different province!" Made me chuckle...

Really!? Thats amazing! Go mom!