Anna01

For me personally, I would do what WCSDancer said about taking things slow. See if he will stick around because of chemistry. Get to know him. I am at a place where I don't even want to have sex with someone that I don't think I will have a long relationship with. Sex got me this std. One is enough for now! But, since you seem to be comfortable with being in a somewhat casual relationship, I would definitely take my time with him. See if HE is someone YOU even really want. Taking time has its benefits. You can determine if someone is really your cup of tea before you give them your body. Thats my opinion on the matter. Also, I find it extremely important to disclose to your future partners. My partner thought it would be "ok" to hide it from me because he "never gave it to anybody before" (like he really knew) and I probably didn't have it (bull****). Yet here I am...positive for HSV1 and 2. So yea, honesty is the best policy. Now he has ZERO chance of ever being with me again. Zero. Something to think about :)

Hey there :) Welcome to the club. I joined about two weeks ago. It is normal to feel discontent with yourself when you get the news. It is quite shocking right?? So try to take it easy on yourself. You did what a majority of this population does...you had sex...Whats new? Don't we all. It doesn't matter who you are, if it was your first time or your 100th time...we all are at risk. Don't be disgusted with yourself...this is another part of life. It is a pesky skin rash. Do we want it? No. Can we live with it? Yes! You can live an amazing life but it is up to you if you want to let this skin condition take over. I never thought this would happen to me...yet here I am and I am OK. One day you will be OK too. You already are but just haven't realized it yet. No matter what, we have to deal with ups and downs in life. We have to deal with emotions. Accept the situation and make the best of it. H helps people to focus on themselves, take things slower and really appreciate the process of getting to know someone prior to sex. In some ways it is a blessing in disguise, a horrible disguise haha but it serves a purpose. Sometimes it helps to talk about it and share your story. Do you want to share what happened, how you found out? You came to the right place to let it out! :) We are here for you.

@ano1107 No question is dumb. Those are great questions. Though the odds are pretty slim...you can spread it to your eye. Avoid touching sores and then touching your eyes. It doesn't just spread on its own. So don't worry about that. Also it is the same situation for your mouth. It is a slim chance but is possible for you to spread it to your mouth. The basic idea is do not touch sores and then rub your face. We really aren't supposed to rub our eyes period, herpes or no herpes. So I try to leave my eyes alone in general. Which is hard since I revert back to toddler days when I am sleepy...rubbing my eyes haha. Be cautious but don't be paranoid. It is harder to spread than you think. I am sure WSCDancer will give you some real deal info regarding those questions. She is a vet at this :) I am so happy that my response lifted your spirits :) It lifts mine as well to hear that it helped you! Sometimes we just need that friendly reminder that we are not alone. All of us go through emotions in life. So don't be ashamed of this condition. Don't feel that people are judging you. Because if someone does judge you, they are not worth your energy. I had a moment after I broke the news to my family. We were all singing happy birthday to my neice and I was thinking OMG everyone knows. They are probably thinking about it right now. haha and the truth is they may or may not be and that is ok. They can care about me all they want. I accept this. So they do too and now it doesn't weigh on them either. It is not even a thought because I am moving on and living my life regardless! NO ONE knows that you have this. No stranger can tell. :) I mean I was extremely intimate and in love with a guy for 8 months and had not one clue he was H+. I mean if anyone should know...it was me because I was constantly with him. Keep doing your research....knowledge is power. You will slowly but surely realize there is a silver lining to this. Use it to your benefit. Stay strong and I am here if you want to chat.

Yay :) He seems like a very mature guy. So can I ask what the text said. Were you like "Hey I have H. We can talk about it later"

Awesome :) That conversation went really good! Way to take control of your life and not be a victim!

@justagirl72 Really? So how did it go?

@2Legit2Quit Nothing like a good ole std to really make the occasion memorable right ;-) Atleast you got to see your bff and Justin Timberlake

*Snap snap snap* That is so true and well said!!! This is a great post to read first thing in the morning :) Thanks!

OMG I spoke with a physician at FastMed yesterday. That man didn't have a clue what he was talking about. He was telling me that its not a big deal to get on antivirals if you aren't breaking out. You can't give it to someone unless you have a lesion....I was like is this guy for real?? I had to educate him! lol The problem is they really don't consider it a big deal..."they have bigger fish to fry" I guess. However, for US it is a big deal. We have to live with it and protect the people we love.

@2Legit2Quit OMG I saw that concert too! It was epiccccc! I have yet to go to a better one! So you are a military lady...nice :)

@Brynn2012 Good! Thank God you left that place! Now you can focus on inner strength...self reliance. I am so cautious about who my friends are. At the end of the day it is a relationship. Be as selective as you would for a boyfriend. If I get bad vibes....you will be an acquaintance...period. Be careful who you trust. Some people just don't deserve it. ;-)

@2Legit2Quit Don't we know it! smh lol

Awesome! That is so great :) So you communicated it via text or did you decide to talk on the phone, in person?

@2Legit2Quit I couldn't agree more. Women do have a way of hangling things. I do think men put way too much value into their penis. It is like their favorite golden trophy breaking into a million little pieces. I think that is why they find it difficult to disclose. Little do they know, women are some of the most understanding and forgiving creatures. When we care, we accept all flaws.

I don't think that is corny at all! That is so sweet and I really hope it continues to go well for you both. I was curious about the test because when you do a blood test, it can take up to a few months for antibodies to show up on a test. I am not sure how long you and your Knight have been together but it is a good way to find out if you got it from him or the reverse.

OH MY GOSH...can I just say "Ditto" haha I am in the same boat right now. However, I have never disclosed to anyone. This is extremely new for me. So I can't offer any advice other than Go for it! :) You seem to be a pretty confident woman so just go for it. If he is the right one, he will accept it. If not, it is ok, he isn't the right one. I have no doubt what is meant to be will be. Good luck and let us know how it goes ;-)

Hey Brynn :) Well my opinion on the matter...let it go, let him go, let them go! Haha...he is not helping you in the slightest. I honestly don't believe he ever will. You are a painful reminder that he is H+. I do not believe that his lack of empathy is healthy for you and I don't think your resentment towards him is healthy for him either. You need to let him go. It only brings you more feelings of pain and rejection. You don't deserve that. Nobody does. So do what is right for you....move on. Focus on becoming a stronger woman. You need to love you some you :) Stop trying to find comfort in him because he is not offering it. I am sorry if I sound harsh but I want you to really understand that you are only hurting yourself more. It is an extremely unhealthy situation. Honestly, if you can't handle being around him, I would strongly suggest getting another job. You will NEVER move on and recover emotionally if you are always in his presence. When at this point, you can't even stand to hear his name. Don't let it get the best of you ok? XOXO

@Skibum21 Welcome. :) I LOVE your personality! I mean....you really made me laugh. "Well poop!"??? I loved that. That is basically how I felt too! No truer statement than "my luck ran out finally". We all take risks every time we become intimate with someone and unfortunately along the way we can draw the short straw. S*** happens. Your feelings are so common. We all go through some serious moments of reflection and sometimes we see things that aren't the best. I want you to know that you are not dirty. There is no need to be ashamed. Sex is a part of life. STD's are a part of life. This is permanent so that sucks but atleast you can live a life as full as you want to make it. There are a lot of videos on this website and there are books as well. One of the Moderators (WSCDancer) will respond to you I am sure and she has some great great advice. She helped me a lot when I found out. She will share some links with you. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of test did you take?

Hey Andy :) First let me say I am so proud of you for handling this like a man. You had symptoms and instead of hiding from it, you went to the doctor and found out the TRUTH! Bravo. Honestly, that takes courage. You served in the military so I am sure courage is second nature to you right ;-) Thank you for you service to our country! I am sorry about the emotional and mental strain it has caused you. That breaks my heart. Regarding H, the feelings you are feeling are extremely normal when you first find out. We all go through it. The reality is, when ANYONE has sex, they are at risk. Most H+ people are asymptomatic so they have no clue they are carrying this. You are FAR from alone my friend. The difference between us and them is our luck went on break. I recently found out I am positive for HSV1 and HSV2 a couple of weeks ago. My ex forgot to mention he had it for 15 years! I mean he completely hid it from me our entire relationship until the night I broke up with him. I would say my luck checked out for several months haha. I know it hurts and can be a bit scary. Try to accept and realize it really could be much worse. This is a skin condition. Healthwise, not so bad right? You can still live your life to the fullest but you just need to be more responsible. I mean we both are 26 so naturally the path to maturity comes with the territory right :) You are the same man you were before. Hopefully this will just make you a little wiser; a little more patient. This is not the end of the world...this is the beginning! Embrace the change. It is a roller coaster...trust me...I am RIGHT THERE with you but we can handle it. You are a strong guy. Trust in that. Your sex life isn't over. Your love life isn't over. The right woman can handle a skin rash ;-) Keep it up. I for one think you are handling it well thus far.

@Jacomo Oh man...that stinks BUT she will be OK :) Mine is high as well. Positive for both actually. I just found out a couple of weeks ago. Scary but manageable. Trust me she will be OK. It will be a rocky road but what road in life isn't? Keep showing her support. She is lucky to have you. Simply caring is so helpful. I am sure she is grateful. When I told my sister I tested positive, later that day I was googling everything about this. I mentioned some factoid to her and she was like "Oh yea, I saw that too" as she was looking at her phone. She was googling it too! It made me feel SO good that she was researching....she cared. That is priceless. So keep caring :)

@YogaJ12 Isn't it funny how that works?! We feel like crap so instead of doing what will reverse it, we dive completely in and stop doing things we KNOW lift our spirits. smh People haha I am so guilty of this

@2Legit2Quit No :( North Carolina

@2Legit2Quit Thanks :) Hopefully can tell myself the same thing if and when it happens haha

@whitedaisies Honestly, as ridiculous as this sounds, I was speaking on closure for him. He confided in me about mental distress he had prior to our relationship. I know that he has gone through a lot of ups and downs in his life. It doesn't help that I am such an enabler :-/ I just hate the thought of him hurting himself or getting back to a place of mental weakness. I can be nice to a fault. So I was considering meeting him for him to clear his mind and maybe relieve some of the shame he obviously has associated with this disease. He needs to realize that he can be open with partners about this. I think he has kind of faced it alone.....maybe...not exactly sure. But at the end of the day I need to snap out of it! He is not my responsibility and I owe him nothing. So I will let it go and let him face his journey on his own. I have my own situation to deal with. I do get a little curious about how he got it though.

@Brynn2012 Thank you for that because that was my issue with it. I carry myself very well. I consider myself to be a pretty optimistic strong individual. So if he saw me in person he would probably think "Oh she is just fine. Nothing has changed about her. What I did wasn't so bad". I have a serious problem with that because he needs to really understand that what he did is not OK, not in the slightest. He betrayed me and changed my life forever. So I think I will keep my distance. I just pray that he changes his ways and gets enough self-respect to tell future partners. And oh yes they are no longer "honest" guys haha freaking liars, cant stand it! smh