Anna01

I just want to say that I am sorry you are in such a dark place because of something like herpes. At the end of the day it is a skin condition. It is an inconvenience....that is all. I know how hard it is to understand this when it is so fresh. Then you have the painful realization you are not perfect. I too am considered very attractive and I am no longer "perfect"(not that I ever really was). It can be a tough pill to swallow but in time this won't be tough at all. I think there is something deeper here you are dealing with. It is extremely important to not put so much value on the physical. Enjoy life because it is a precious gift, not because of physical or material value. Your feelings of stress are normal and even depression happens when we experience changes in life. Try your best to put this in perspective, you are still you. You are so much more than this and keep H in its place. Wait a minute.... I just realized you said you didn't get tested yet? So what symptoms are you dealing with?

I am sure dancer and 2 legit will chime in soon and give you more valid information! They know a BUNCH about this.

OK so the rash is not swabbable. You can absolutely get an IGG type specific blood test BUT it can take up to 4 months to have enough antibodies to test +. So you can test now to see if you already had HSV1 or 2 and if it comes back negative, test again in four months to see if your results change. If they do come back +that means you got it from her. That is based upon the idea that you haven't had sex with anyone else recently.

@Mrose90 Nothing like a little self loathing :) Honestly, it is the worst thing ever. I hate it when that feeling hits me. It mostly happens during PMS. I am like "My life....what am I doing...omg I am fat...and so on" haha We all get down on ourselves sometimes BUT we musn't make it a habit. I have found ways to change my way of thinking. Kick the negativity OUT and do things that bring you joy. I dance a lot and it helps me so much. Find what works for you and go for it!

Hey there :) We love questions around here! So keep on asking ok. First I want to tell you that the only way for you to find out what is going on is by getting a test. This could be sweat rash or it could be an OB. It could be several things. So we always want to encourage you to just get tested so you can know exactly what is going on with your body. Not to make you more paranoid but I have had the same rash kind of thing. I still don't know if it was my GH or a sweat rash from the long walks after swimming. My thighs rub together and causes irritation. I found out I am HSV+ but that is not to say that is what is going on with you. A majority of HSV+ people have very mild to no sympstoms at all. So it is possible that you are someone who doesn't have bad OBs. I don't. There are common versions of sores but honestly there are endless ways for sores to appear. Mine were not cluster like either. I only went in to get tested because my ex told me he had herpes when I broke up with him ;-/ If he didn't, I would still be running around thinking I have no STI's because I would've gotten an std screening that would come back negative for everything. Unfortunately, herpes is not included in the std panel unless it is specifically requested. So your girl may truely believe that she has nothing because it is extremely rare for people to know that doctors do not test for Herpes. So how old is the rash? Is there any way you could drop by the doc and get it swabbed?

I can't tell you how amazing this article is! Thank you so much for sharing this! :) I love the nonchalant tone of the author and very matter-of-fact. 5 thumbs up from me.

I am a newbie. Diagnosed in late June. I have hard moments but overall I got this thing in perspective. It is a skin rash and if a guy loves me, he will accept it. You sound like a great guy :) The fact that you care about your potential partners well being speaks volumes. I believe you won't have any trouble with finding a wonderful lady that will love you for you. Just be honest and find comfort in your condition. Some skin condition will not stand in the way. So deal with H, accept it, embrace it and move on. It sounds impossible but it is not. It will be just another part of your life, like a cold or flu. For me, I get more pain from mosquito bites lol. I don't get bad symptoms, so far. I am here to tell you as a woman with HSV1 and HSV2, every persons reaction to the virus is different. IF you do transmit it to a partner, she may be like me and have mild OB. SO don't worry yourself about what may be. Love yourself now so one day you can love another and she can love you too. Don't be afraid. H is not a big deal. We just THINK it is.

:) You are such a deep soul and I admire it to no end. It takes courage and strength to block out negativity. People say hurtful things to others because of their own pain. They do not realize the spiritual damage it can cause. I am so sorry that you have been on the receiving end of this so many times but I am a witness to how beautiful you are on the inside. I admire you so much. Continue to ride that bike until the training wheels fall off because you can be there for others who have dealt with the harsh side of life. Thank you for sharing this. It is something every person needs to hear because even "beautiful" people feel ugly or less than sometimes. We all self analyze and beat ourselves up. We all can learn from your story. Lesson learned. Focus on the internal :)

That doesn't sound weird at all. You have been a stress ball because of your BV. Your body is a machine and when you stress it out, things get off balance. So try to relieve yourself of this extreme stress. It may help clear up your BV and cold sores. BV is caused my a ph imbalance. Do things that help your ph. Cotton underwear, lots of water, yogurt, work out, NO bodywash down south, wash it with warm water only. Your Vagina has a self cleaning system so let it do its job.

@Mrose90 I think fitgirl and wcsdancer have started the process of clearing the fog from your eyes :) I still want to reach out to you because I am VERY new at this and I think my perspective might contribute to your view. I was diagnosed the very end of June 2015. It was a very emotional experience for me but I am someone who really focuses on inner strength and try to maintain a strong self esteem. To be honest, H has ever so slightly changed my life but it has honestly has been more of a benefit for me than anything. Before I was diagnosed, I was deteremined to be the best Anna I could ever be. I didn't want sex or my looks to define who I am as a woman. So I was already making some serious changes in my life. I focused on God, love, friendship, family, goals etc. It made me sooooo strong. I was so strong that I was able to handle my H+ diagnosis better than I could ever imagine. I have weak moments, ofcourse, but honestly it hasn't slowed me down for a second. I know how to filter out who is not truly into who I am on the inside. H helps me weed out the wrong people in general. Recently, I disclosed to this amazing man I connected with spiritually and he is still here for me. He didn't run. This actually brought us closer. He knows that he can trust me because I told him something considered to be VERY personal and vulnerable. The only reason we haven't had sex is because I wasn't ready. He could care less about my stupid skin condition. My comfort with it makes others comfortable with it too. I have told family, some friends and I feel the urge to be open with others too because there is no shame in having a skin rash. Although, I haven't gotten to the point of casual sharing just yet. The shame is a twisted lie that you need to get rid of. You are still you. So focus on becoming a stronger and better you. Love yourself and erase this lie that H is ruining your life. H has zero control of your potential and the things you can accomplish on this Earth. I couldn't agree more with what these lovely ladies have told you. I KNOW that H doesn't and CAN'T ruin your life. There is one person and one person only that holds the key to your happiness.....that person is you :) It is always you. Life has A LOT of challenges. It is how you handle them that builds your character. I say try to avoid self pity and stop focusing on the "negative" (or maybe not negative ;-) things in your life. The sooner you value yourself the sooner your life will change for the better. Keep your head up and be THANKFUL you are alive and you are WELL, whether you realize that right now or not.

Yay! Congrats on your results :) let this be a lesson to not let things worry you sooooooo much! Take each day and make it count. Worrying about what's to come and what may be steals precious moments from our lives. So enjoy your negative result and try to stay positive lol ;-)

Good luck. We are here for you

@wcsdancer2010 You use valtrex or aciclovir?

I absolutely love this picture and it says a lot. Fear is killing them both.

@NothingGoodGetsAway Thank you so much. So I used ZocDoc and got an appointment with and OB-GYN for a OB-GYN consultation. Is that the what you did?

@WSCDancer2010 @NothingGoodGetsAway So how long does it take to get a prescription after you visit the Doc? Is it as quick as same day or next day?

Awesome! :) I love how the truth is the truth and the right person will accept it. So happy for you!

Wow. You are an extremely talented woman. That was very deep and dark in a pleasant way. I love poetry! So I REALLY appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. In life, in general, we go through some really really tough times. Sometimes the feeling can just hit you and somehow you understand the darkness in the world more than ever. It can become a little overwhelming but I think it is neccessary for us all to see that everything isn't always peaches and cream. It helps us appreciate the good moments, the calm moments. It makes us appreciate peace. You have been blessed with the gift of expression and I think you should really push yourself. Do a lot of writing because it is a unique and artistic way to touch people. You can really dig deep, to the places that people find hard to talk about. So please work on your craft :) You have a gift. I am sorry that you are feeling anxious and going through a roller coaster of emotions. It can get that way and rarely does it feel good. It plain sucks right. So give yourself some love. Focus on the positives in your life and climb your way out of the darkness. You have friends here and we are waiting with our hands stretched down to pull you out! You don't belong there and neither do we. Try to avoid the "what if's" and "what may be" way of thinking. It doesn't help at all. Take it ONE day at a time. Try to make each day count. Try to make each day a great day. Tomorrow will come on its own whether we want it to or not. So I say even if you are afraid, welcome it with a big hug. If you have HSV, HPV, HIV, Cancer, Leukemia...and so on....you have this one life. So live it the fullest. Don't be scared of your results. You can overcome this and anything else. Stay positive pretty lady :) You are so far from alone here.

@worried Honestly, rumors I heard about myself far outweighed my truths. People talk. They act like they have the right to judge but they don't. The best thing to do is show her that her value is not determined by what people think of her. Her value comes from within and how she decides to live her life. Who cares if people find out. The truth is negative people are so negative that they are willing to even make up things about you that are completely unfounded. Believe me, I know. Now I don't deal with that kind of stuff because I separated myself from those types of individuals. It is wonderful! Teach her to surround herself with people who love her and turn a blind eye to the ones who don't.

@FirstTimeFrustrated I'm sorry it came back +. I know how that feels but Don't feel discouraged. You never know how someone will react. Just be honest with her and if she is really into you...the least she will do is talk to you about it. If it makes you feel any better, I recently told a guy I am seeing and he took it extremely well. We are still seeing eachother and my honesty brought us closer. So don't psyche yourself out. No matter the outcome, you can handle it :)

Congratulations :) That is awesome!

@FirstTimeFrustrated First, don't worry yourself so much until you find out your results. IF it comes back + I would tell her the truth. I would tell her exactly what happened. Any normal human being would not point a finger at you. You didn't know about it and the honesty will shine through when you speak to her. You both made a decision to take things to the physical level. It is a risk we all take. So do not beat yourself up about it. It is what it is. You didn't behave maliciously in any way. If I were you, I would kick back, relax, enjoy talking to her and handle it when the results come in ok. At this point you only had a bump down there. That is not enough evidence to prove it is H. I am in a long distance relationship and I disclosed over the phone and he took it extremely well. Nothing has changed between us. Except it has brought us closer. He knows he can trust me and respects me more for it. Honesty is the best policiy. Always. That is with anything in life, not just H. You might get a bad reaction but atleast it is a real one right?! I would rather have the real deal but hey maybe that is just me :) Good luck with your results and please keep us posted.

I agree with @jl13 . I would start with thinking of whether or not you really want to be back with him. Make sure you aren't using him as a safe zone. He deserves real love just like you do. So think about how you feel about him and if you are truly interested in him vs what he brings to the table. If you discover that you do want to be with him again, the answer is simple, tell him. Real love knows no bounds. If he cares for you, he might need a moment to think but he will realize that you are soooooo much more than a stupid skin condition. It sounds like he really cares for you but only you know if it is right to get back with him. Good luck with your decision and keep us posted :)

@wcsdancer2010 I know right! Honestly they were kind of a mess the whole time I was there. The Doc didn't know squat, I had to remind them I was waiting for my blood samples for an hour and a half in the waiting room (ugh), then I had to call them to get my western blot results....twice. The second time I called the lady said "We don't have them yet" I said "it takes days but I have been waiting weeks." She said "well let me check one more place" and Ta-Da! They magically appeared. I was like HELLO I am someone dealing with some heavy stuff hear. This is very important. Thank God I am not in a dark place regarding this because all of the waiting would've been extremely frustrating. They just suck in my opinion. Oh yea and my results confirmed HSV+ 1 & 2

I think you don't give yourself enough credit. You ARE handling this. It is a very difficult situation and a lot of people avoid their truth forever. What you are doing takes courage. It really does and you need to recognize what that means. You want to take care of your body. You want to know what you need to do. You care. That is a great thing. So many people have no clue what stds they have because they are too scared to face any scary results but you are tenacious and you are trying to get to the bottom of it. That is awesome in my opinion! Now you need to just work on self control. Work on controlling your nerves and finally realize that you CAN handle this and anything else that comes your way. You ARE handling it already but you let all the what ifs and the possibilities get the better of you. So focus on the now. Take one day at a time and try to make each day count. Focus on something else. Just try. What hobbies do you have?