LotusBud

@22 (Sorry, I'm not going to use the full username. Don't believe in reinforcing that kind of thing) Have you sought out counseling for depression..apart from the possible H infection? When my daughter was going thru a rough patch (withdrawal from E which made her depressed, anxious and crazy when she was around 1😎 she said she really liked having a counselor/psychologist to talk with and to learn some techniques for dealing with life's ups and downs. (Tip: see counselor/psychologist first. Only see a psychiatrist if referred by psychologist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor specializing in psych issues and can prescribe meds. It's been my experience (thru my work) that the first thing they do is write a prescription...and then another. It's like they experiment with the meds and hope that one or a combo will work, all while messing with a person's brain chemistry. There's a place for it, but try everything else first. My 2 cents on that.) There are some free sources for counseling, but you gotta search. You could try a suicide prevention hotline for a referral or even just someone to talk with when you feel low. If you don't want to go that route, I've read and seen that exercise and being out in nature can have as beneficial an effect as the meds. At least it will give you something to do and help take your mind off of waiting for the test results. You might get all buff and attract a new friend. My kid says I give good advice even tho she didn't listen to it at the time. She said the psychologist basically told her the same things. I guess it's easier to take when it's not your mom 😃 I really feel for you and your situation. I think all of us on this forum can relate on some level or other. I'm very practical and solution - oriented which may not be what you are wanting/ needing right now. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. Maybe go hug your own mom (for 20 seconds for the oxytocin effect). Can't hurt, might help. 🌻

Agreed on all points! I was lucky to get a swab for testing at Planned Parenthood. (They were great btw) But I read online and on these forums how the tests are not very reliable. Do you have a new mission in life now?😉

For me for H, it's chocolate High arginine bleh.

As someone who could be your mother and been living with HSV2 for 4 years, I want to encourage you to have and feel your feels. (I feel like I'm writing to my 26 yo daughter btw. She's often wiser than me so I know you have your inner wisdom too. ) I also want you to realize that your thoughts come before and cause your feelings. You have total control of your thoughts! Right now, you are thinking the most awful thoughts, imagining the most awful things and having the most awful feelings. It's part of the process and you will come out the other side. You can speed it up by catching yourself whenever your thoughts turn toward the negative. You'll know you're going there because you'll start to feel bad. (Okay, sometimes it's too fast and you're already in the shit.) You don't have to do anything with those thoughts, just notice and acknowledge. That's a hard-learned life lesson right there lol; applies to pretty much everything not just the possibility of H. I notice that in reaching out with this post, you also gave helpful information based on your experience. I appreciate that and am sure it will help someone who's in the same boat. Keep reaching out, you never know who will catch your hand as their lifeline. After 4 yrs with H, I had to disclose for the first time about a month ago! My partner of 16 years gave me H in our 13th year. He'd had it for 30+ years, but been asymptomatic for so long that he kinda forgot. (Dickhead.) He passed away unexpectedly a year and a half ago and I finally felt ready to look and see what's out there. Met a guy 16 years younger and I could see it would get hot and heavy fast if I let it. After a couple of dates w/o exchange of genital fluids (sounds ew), I let him know I had H via text. A bit chicken shit, I know, but I had no attachment to the guy and wasn't even sure I liked him that much. Good practice in any case. He's like, "okay, no sex, but we can still hang out." Lol. Read that as "you can give me hand jobs." In my head, I'm thinking, "so what's in this for me?" That's when the little bell went off. H can act as a filter-- if he truly cares then H won't scare him off. If he's not worth it, then H will help prevent me from getting emotionally invested in someone who can't see me and can only see a controllable skin condition. I know your life had been full of challenges especially as a gay man. If it turns out that you are positive for H, it is simply another challenge on the way to your dreams. It does NOT blow them to shit. You got this. Don't let a tiny virus..or anything for that matter, put out your light! Just keep shining and doing you! Bon chance!

Hi @Rosaa I don't have RA, but have other much milder autoimmune stuff (food sensitivities that cause inflammatory arthritis). I believe you are right that your body is having to deal with the 2 things at once. If I don't take care of my autoimmune stuff, I notice prodrome symptoms and hopefully pay attention and get back on track before I have an outbreak. In that sense H can act like a bit of a warning system for me. You don't mention what you do for your H-- like supplements. My H doesn't respond to the antivirals so I've had to figure out what works for me. I take lysine (3000mg daily; increase to 9000 during prodrome or outbreak) and lemon balm capsules to calm the nerve symptoms (appx 2000mg daily; increase during prodrome etc.) In doing research on autoimmunity, I came across a blogger that I now follow. She has RA and has been dealing with it as naturally as possible using diet and lifestyle changes and as little medication as possible. I find her quite sensible and inspiring. She blogs as Phoenix Helix and tells her whole story and her continuing journey with RA. (I'd post a link, but the moderator would have to approve the post then.) Good luck!!!

Hi @Ice2423 I get quite noticeable inguinal lymph node soreness and swelling when I have an outbreak (HSV2). It's possible it could be a symptom. Everything I've researched says the IgM is just not accurate. Try again with the Westen Blot after 16-20 weeks. I know you want to know for certain one way or another in order to ease your mind. If you read enough posts on these forums, you will find people who display symptoms, but come up negative and vice versa. You'll find that symptoms vary widely too. Also, you say you got tested for anything bacteria related, does this mean you got a full STI panel? Some infections, like syphillis, are not caused by bacteria. Good luck! May it be nothing, but know it wouldn't be as awful as you could imagine.

Thanks for the B- complex tip @JulyP. I'll def up my intake if/ when I'm feeling the nerve symptoms start up. I find lemon balm (I use capsules) is a good nerve tonic.

Hi @ShannonHawaii14, I'm new to the forum and currently live on Oahu. While the antivirals may help with the symptoms, one of the main reasons people take them regularly, even daily, is to suppress the virus and help prevent their partners from getting it. This is in addition to condoms and avoiding sex during outbreaks. The transmission rate from women to men is 4% using nothing; 10-15% from man to woman. Using all 3 methods reduces the risk from woman to man to 1%. (The risk of dying in a car accident is 1.81% over a lifetime) Hope that helps with the decision making. (BTW, true canker sores are not a symptom of HSV1) Good luck!!!

Hi @Notagoodday I'm new to the forum, but I hope someone replied to you privately, at least. A good friend of mine with HSV2 just had her first baby. Yes, she had cesarean and she's as happy a can be. I know you are going through a lot of upset right now. Has your husband gotten tested? As we know, most people don't know they have it and don't have symptoms, but could be spreading it. Maybe leave around print outs of the H info that Adrial provides or send your hubby the links. He needs to get his head out of his... Butt enough of that, please do everything you can to put yourself first and take care of YOU. Pull out all the self - care stops: meditate, get good sleep, take naps, research and take the supplements that you can while pregnant. I just googled: Lysine herpes pregnancy and a very nice article called Herpes in Pregnancy popped up from a journal called Mother and Child Health. I'd post the link but the moderator would have to approve the post then. You may not even had time or capacity to research what you need to do for yourself. The article says to eat high lysine foods, avoid arginine rich foods. H loves arginine and lysine counters it. Maybe you can take lysine supplements as well, like many of us do. Check with doc. The article also says to take antivirals esp. in the last trimester when a flare is more likely to occur. I take lemon balm which is an herb that has traditionally been used to calm the central nervous system. (H likes the nervous system.) It works for me. It's a type of mint and is safe to take during pregnancy. I checked via Google and found several articles confirming this including one by the American Pregnancy Association. Traditionally, an herbal tea of lemon balm was often given to pregnant women. Seems it's good for pregnancy AND herpes. It may not seem like it could, but everything always does work out. Good luck!!! PM me if you feel like it.

Hi @Lm88317 Ran across a post on the forums by @beckham He knows he's been exposed and has nerve pain symptoms, but tests keep coming back negative. Maybe both of you should check out the Univ of Washington. Here's his post. Good luck to both of you!!!

@mstanya1234 I was diagnosed with hsv2 late summer 2014. Antivirals did not work for me so haven't taken them since that first outbreak. @Stupida After quitting coffee/caffeine, I notice that less hair is falling out in about 2-3 weeks. Not sure about regrowth. They say average growth is half an inch per month. At that rate, it would take a few months to notice an overall difference in feel. I have one spot near my cowlick (where it's naturally thinner) that I'll notice small hairs growning back in 1-2 months.

Lol @Stupida. I'm 55. My perimenopause was pretty mild starting when I was about 48. I never paid any attention to stuff about menopause so I didn't even really recognize perimenopause, except the doc kept saying the average age for menopause is 50. I didn't educate myself about it at all. For perimenopause, the thing I remember most was being more emotional, like crying for no reason, or when out in nature, feeling the environment more intensely, if that makes sense. My periods started getting lighter and skipping months until when I was 50 they had stopped altogether (menopause is official when you haven't had your period for a whole year.) At about 50 was when I had hot flashes, but mainly if I had too much sugar and coffee. I've learned that estrogen protects women from quite a few things like skin and joint issues. Sure enough, when estrogen decreased with menopause, I started have having challenges with my joints and skin. Skin gets thinner especially in the genital area. This may have been one reason I caught H from my partner a year later, after being with him for 13 years. (He'd had it for 30-40 years.) I had more skin damage from friction/abrasion during sex. Well, that was a lot. Hope it's useful 😊

Hi @Stupida, Oh geez, that's a tough one. For various reasons at different times, I've worked at giving up coffee/caffeine. Coffee, in particular, is my "gateway drug" to bad eating habits. It was pretty much an accident figuring it out. I thought I was losing my hair because I'd hit menopause. I quit coffee at that time because it was immediately evident that I would get a hot flash after drinking a cup. After a while, I noticed my hair wasn't falling out as much and there was new growth. I also noticed the skin on my face and scalp wasn't itchy anymore. I didn't make the connection though, until I had fallen off and gotten back on the coffee wagon a few times. It's difficult when the symptoms don't show up for days after eating something. If you want to go down the rabbit hole, I've found the AutoImmune Protocol (AIP) helpful. I've been able to figure out a number of other sensitivities that I have, like to dairy and nightshades (tomatoes, peppers, etc.) Here's a link for a succinct explanation. The protocol is not for wusses o,O I posted with links earlier and i guess the moderator needs to approve that. In any case, you can search it on your own. I find the blogger Phoenix Helix gives the most succinct explanations. She also has success stories including a woman dealing with psoriasis. (Those were the links I'd posted) Also, it occurred to me that maybe H is not the direct cause of so many ailments cropping up for people after they get it. The body may be too busy dealing with H, that other things it was handling get dropped. Hope this helps. Good luck!!!

Idk if this applies @Stupida but thought I'd share. If I drink coffee daily, my scalp and face in the T-zone start to itch. My skin changes in the area and I start losing hair...noticeably. Took me a while to figure out the connection. When I stop coffee my hair grows back. No connection to my HSV2 since this started before. Might give some consideration to food sensitivity. The only real way to find out is to eliminate suspect foods for a while then try them again later. Even tests for food allergies aren't reliable as I was told by my doctor. Good luck!

Hi Beebsie, There's so much info and support on the forums, but it's a lot to sift through. I've posted this in other replies. Hope it helps. "I’m a female and was diagnosed with hsv2 about 4 years ago. My first outbreaks seemed continuous for over 3 months even after taking the antiviral meds. One lesion would appear, get almost all cleared up when 2 new ones would appear about a quarter inch away. Docs were baffled that it didn't respond to meds, but I have since read that there are resistant strains. My partner who gave me H said the meds didn't work on him either. I researched and dug around focusing mainly on natural treatments and on the fact that the virus is a living organism that responds to its environment. There are 3 main things that have been useful to me and what I do to prevent outbreaks. 1. I learned that HSV2 prefers a warmer, moister environment than HSV1. This explains the locations where the viral outbreaks "usually" occur (i.e. warm, moist genitals for HSV2) and why it's easier to pass on to women (10-15 % transmission rate) than men (4%.) 2. Both HSV1 & 2, as well as herpes zoster (aka chicken pox/shingles) like to hang out in the nervous system when not active. HSV2 likes the base of the spine particularly so prodrome often shows up as low back ache or nerve pain down the leg. 3. HSV2 likes the amino acid arginine, but not lysine. My self care routine specifically for HSV2 (not including general health maintenance like exercise) goes something like this: For active outbreak, make the environment as UNHEALTHY FOR THE VIRUS as possible. Keep the area as dry and cool as possible. (This is also soothing for painful lesions.) Sit on a gel ice pack; sleep with it over the affected area. Put a cloth between pack and skin; just needs to be cooler not frozen. Let a fan blow on the affected area for about a half hour as many times a day as you can stand it. This cools and dries. Watch a comedy on video while you wait. It goes with the ridiculous position you might find yourself assuming in order to fan the area. (Some recommend hair dryers, but they tend to blow warm air.) During work when you can't do any of the above, place small pad of folded up toilet paper over the lesions (I'm assuming they're in the genital area) so that it stays dry and isn't contacting any other moist areas. Change every time you go to restroom. Get lots of sleep especially for active outbreak and prodrome. I drink Nighty Night herbal tea by Traditional Medicinals if worrying prevents me from sleeping. (This is what works for me; not an endorsement.) I avoid high arginine foods. Unfortunately, this means chocolate. In retrospect, i wonder if my first outbreak went on so long because i was eating so much of my favorite comfort food. Nothing will bring on an outbreak for me faster than eating chocolate 3-4 days in a row. You might have different food triggers. You'll have to pay attention to see if there are any connections. I take 3000 mg of lysine 3 times per day during OB and prodrome. 3000mg daily for maintenance. Lysine counters arginine so if I forget and indulge in too much chocolate, then I'll take extra lysine. For my nervous system, I take lemon balm in capsule form (1600mg daily; times 3 during OB or prodrome. ) Lemon balm has traditionally been used as a nerve tonic. For me, lemon balm seems to help with any nerve pain that might crop up. An ice pack on low back helps too. And because I find the nerve sensations annoyingly exhausting, as well as painful, I'll take naproxen (Aleve) to take down the inflammation. Avoid stressing your system. Yes, manage the usual stress, but also be diligent about taking care of yourself. For example, if you have allergies, take your meds and avoid allergens. Your body doesn't need to fight allergies AND herpes. Nowadays, my outbreaks, when I have them, last 7-10 days tops following this protocol. I'm not sure how often I have them anymore; it's become such a non-issue. I can usually pinpoint something I've done like eat chocolate that brought it on. I can also catch it during prodrome and stop a full outbreak from happening." Good luck!!!

Hi All, When I first started on this journey about 4 years ago, I came across something which explained the accuracy or lack thereof in the blood tests. Sorry I can't find it now. The gist of it was that since the virus hangs out mainly in the nervous system, it doesn't always get taken up in a blood sample. o,O And this is just a quirky idea for an experiment. If you want the virus to show up more definitively, you could cultivate and feed it. Crazy, I know! Go eat lots of high arginine foods or just take the supplement. Hang out in warm moist places. Get too little sleep and find ways to stress yourself out. Those are things that would normally trigger an outbreak for me. The nerve pain and weirdness is usually worse than lesions to me. I've been experimenting by taking 30 minute long cool baths with epsom salts dissolved in them. I'm testing whether the cold can make the virus retreat. Also, testing if the magnesium (from the salts) which is supposed to be absorbed better thru the skin will help calm the nerves. I think I might get an effect more directed at the nerves this way, in addition to taking magnesium as a supplement. Food for thought! Bon chance!

Sorry you are in so much pain! Antivirals have never worked for me or my partner. Got a resistant strain. Yay! When I'm having prodrome or an OB, I up my lysine to 9000mg (3000 x 3 times per day). I also take lemon balm capsules as a nerve tonic (traditional usage). Seems to calm things. Maintenance for the lemon balm is 2400mg; times 3 for OB. It's relatively inexpensive. (I know those adaptogenic mushroom supplements are pricey.) You don't mention if you are doing cold packs on the area. I swear by them. Even better for me is having a fan blow on the bare area for a half hour a couple times a day (during OB) while I read or watch comedies. Cools and dries and can act as stress -reducer depending on what you choose to do while waiting. Let us know if/ when you figure it out. It could happen to any of us and it could help us be prepared. Good luck!!!

Lol, "the whole collection," @happyman_adventurous Well thought out questions @chichi. Good luck!

Had to reply because I enjoyed the title of your post and your writing style. Sorry, I can't help with HSV1 tips. I have the other sort. Not sure of it's any consolation, but at least you are still in a relationship while you are going thru this. I got HSV2 after being with my boyfriend for 13 years. He'd had it for 30 years, but I guess it just slipped his mind (grrr.) We were together for 3 more years before he suddenly passed away. Didn't realize it, but I had the opportunity to get adjusted to the idea of having HSV2 without the added pressure of having to tell potential sexual partners. It's been a year and a half since he passed and 2 weeks ago I had to disclose to someone for the first time. It was a bit nerve - wracking. From the outset it was going to be a casual, no - strings, temporary thing since he'll be moving to another country in the near future. I didn't feel any sense of investment. When it came to actually disclosing (by text) and he then want interested in sex with me, it occurred to me what a good filter HSV2 and disclosing could be. If someone is truly interested, caring and willing to do the work, then that person mighty just be a keeper. That's all I got, NightFury. Good luck!! (Did you see that Toothless is getting a girlfriend? She's a Light Fury.)

I hope you are feeling better and got a good diagnosis. I've rarely had pain when urinating from herpes outbreak and it was bearable, nothing like you're describing. For me, UTIs have been more painful when peeing. Good luck!!!

Lol at "up in age." I was 51 when i caught herpes after 13 years with my partner. (He was 11 years older and had it for 40 years.) I tried the Tucks, but it didn't really do anything. Over time thru research and self-experimentation, I've learned that simply folding up some toilet tissue and placing it over the lesions helps. It prevents rubbing on other parts of skin and helps keep things dry. I usually take naproxen (Aleve) for those aches and/or nervy pain. Suffering with pain unnecessarily is just another stressor. I posted the info below in answer to another question on the forum. hope It helps. It contains my protocol and reasons for it: I researched and dug around focusing mainly on natural treatments (because my strains seems resistant to the antivirals) and on the fact that the virus is a living organism that responds to its environment. There are 3 main things that have been useful to me and what I do to prevent outbreaks. 1. I learned that HSV2 prefers a warmer, moister environment than HSV1. This explains the locations where the viral outbreaks "usually" occur (i.e. warm, moist genitals for HSV2.) It also gives a clue why there's a lower rate of transmission (4%) from women to men. 2. Both HSV1 & 2, as well as herpes zoster (aka chicken pox/shingles) like to hang out in the nervous system when not active. HSV2 likes the base of the spine particularly, so prodrome often shows up as low back ache or nerve pain down the leg. 3. HSV2 likes the amino acid arginine, but not lysine. My self care routine specifically for HSV2 (not including general health maintenance like exercise) goes something like this: For active outbreak, make the environment as UNHEALTHY FOR THE VIRUS as possible. Keep the area as dry and cool as possible. (This is also soothing for painful lesions.) Sit on a gel ice pack; sleep with it over the affected area. Put a cloth between pack and skin; just needs to be cooler not frozen. Let a fan blow on the affected area for about a half hour as many times a day as you can stand it. This cools and dries. Watch a comedy while you wait. It goes with the ridiculous position you might find yourself assuming in order to fan the area. (Some recommend hair dryers, but they tend to blow warm air.) During work when you can't do any of the above, place small pad of folded up toilet paper over the lesions (I'm assuming they're in the genital area) so that it stays dry and isn't contacting any other moist areas. Change every time you go to restroom. Get lots of sleep especially for active outbreak and prodrome. I drink Nighty Night herbal tea by Traditional Medicinals if worrying prevents me from sleeping. (This is what works for me; not an endorsement.) I avoid high arginine foods. Unfortunately, this means chocolate. In retrospect, i wonder if my first outbreak went on so long because i was eating so much of my favorite comfort food cuz at the time. Nothing will bring on an outbreak for me faster than eating chocolate 3-4 days in a row. You might have different food triggers. You'll have to pay attention to see if there are any connections I take 3000 mg of lysine 3 times per day during OB and prodrome. 3000mg daily for maintenance. Lysine counters arginine so if I forget and indulge in too much chocolate, then I'll take extra lysine. For my nervous system, I take lemon balm in capsule form (1600mg daily; times 3 during OB or prodrome. ) Lemon balm has traditionally been used as a nerve tonic. It seems to have a calming effect and I feel less stressed. It also seems to help with any nerve pain that might crop up. An ice pack on low back helps too. And because I find the nerve sensations annoyingly exhausting, as well as painful, I'll take naproxen (Aleve) to take down the inflammation. Avoid stressing your system. Yes, manage the usual stress, but also be diligent about taking care of yourself. For example, if you have allergies, take your meds and avoid allergens. Your body doesn't need to fight allergies AND herpes. Nowadays, my outbreaks, when I have them, last 7-10 days tops following this protocol. I'm not sure how often I have them anymore; it's become such a non-issue. I can usually pinpoint something I've done like eat chocolate that brought it on. I can also catch it during prodrome and stop a full outbreak from happening.

I am female and was diagnosed with hsv2 about 4 years ago. My first outbreaks seemed continuous for over 3 months even after taking the antiviral meds. One lesion would appear, get almost all cleared up when 2 new ones would appear about a quarter inch away. Docs were baffled that it didn't respond to meds, but I have since read that there are resistant strains. My partner who gave me H said the meds didn't work on him either. I researched and dug around focusing mainly on natural treatments and on the fact that the virus is a living organism that responds to its environment. There are 3 main things that have been useful to me and what I do to prevent outbreaks. 1. I learned that HSV2 prefers a warmer, moister environment than HSV1. This explains the locations where the viral outbreaks "usually" occur (i.e. warm, moist genitals for HSV2.) 2. Both HSV1 & 2, as well as herpes zoster (aka chicken pox/shingles) like to hang out in the nervous system when not active. HSV2 likes the base of the spine particularly so prodrome often shows up as low back ache or nerve pain down the leg. 3. HSV2 likes the amino acid arginine, but not lysine. My self care routine specifically for HSV2 (not including general health maintenance like exercise) goes something like this: For active outbreak, make the environment as UNHEALTHY FOR THE VIRUS as possible. Keep the area as dry and cool as possible. (This is also soothing for painful lesions.) Sit on a gel ice pack; sleep with it over the affected area. Put a cloth between pack and skin; just needs to be cooler not frozen. Let a fan blow on the affected area for about a half hour as many times a day as you can stand it. This cools and dries. Watch a comedy on video while you wait. It goes with the ridiculous position you might find yourself assuming in order to fan the area. (Some recommend hair dryers, but they tend to blow warm air.) During work when you can't do any of the above, place small pad of folded up toilet paper over the lesions (I'm assuming they're in the genital area) so that it stays dry and isn't contacting any other moist areas. Change every time you go to restroom. Get lots of sleep especially for active outbreak and prodrome. I drink Nighty Night herbal tea by Traditional Medicinals if worrying prevents me from sleeping. (This is what works for me; not an endorsement.) I avoid high arginine foods. Unfortunately, this means chocolate. In retrospect, i wonder if my first outbreak went on so long because i was eating so much of my favorite comfort food. Nothing will bring on an outbreak for me faster than eating chocolate 3-4 days in a row. You might have different food triggers. You'll have to pay attention to see if there are any connections I take 3000 mg of lysine 3 times per day during OB and prodrome. 3000mg daily for maintenance. Lysine counters arginine so if I forget and indulge in too much chocolate, then I'll take extra lysine. For my nervous system, I take lemon balm in capsule form (1600mg daily; times 3 during OB or prodrome. ) Lemon balm has traditionally been used as a nerve tonic. For me, lemon balm seems to help with any nerve pain that might crop up. An ice pack on low back helps too. And because I find the nerve sensations annoyingly exhausting, as well as painful, I'll take naproxen (Aleve) to take down the inflammation. Avoid stressing your system. Yes, manage the usual stress, but also be diligent about taking care of yourself. For example, if you have allergies, take your meds and avoid allergens. Your body doesn't need to fight allergies AND herpes. Nowadays, my outbreaks, when I have them, last 7-10 days tops following this protocol. I'm not sure how often I have them anymore; it's become such a non-issue. I can usually pinpoint something I've done like eat chocolate that brought it on. I can also catch it during prodrome and stop a full outbreak from happening. Hope this helps your friend!