HikingGirl

That's up to you, but just be aware that this test measures not the virus, but antibodies your body produces in response to the virus. Some people make antibodies faster than others. If you test negative now, it's important to test again at 16 weeks, because it's possible you could have a false negative right now. We've all been where you're at.....our minds running wild with worst case scenarios. No matter what the outcome, you can handle this. Herpes is very common and does not have to keep you from living an awesome life! {{hugs}}

Have you had a blood test yet? An IgG is what you should ask for. Testing now will help you determine if you already had it, or if it's really a new infection. As for the partner, if you're still seeing him, I'd just be honest and explain you're having symptoms of something, but you're doing testing to figure out what it is. That should get the conversation going.

So the swab of the recent OB came back as type 2?

Go do a final IgG blood test for herpes at 16 weeks post exposure. By then, virtually everyone who has HSV will have developed enough antibodies to test positive. I know you want to hear something more concrete, but ultimately, we're all guessing. There are more dermatological conditions than we can count!

B, I'm very glad to hear you're back in therapy. This boy is trying to manipulate and control you. I can't speak to his motives, of course, as this may have been modeled to him in his own family. You deserve much, much more than what he has to offer. He did not accept you or your diagnosis. He keeps your relationship secret, he refuses to get tested, and he's quick to anger and blame. You are not broken and you are not to blame. He chose to have sex with you knowing your status, then chose not to use condoms. It's very possible he does not have herpes and is using this to make you feel bad so you do what he wants. Please ask your therapist for a comprehensive list of the signs of abuse. I am worried for you. http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

That makes sense. I'm sorry you had that experience and hope you've found a support group of loved ones and professionals to help you work through that. To make a long story short, my symptoms were so mild I attributed them to yeast infections. I acquired herpes about 18-25 years before I was actually diagnosed with it. I have no idea who gave it to me and did not have a primary outbreak (at least that I recognized).

I don't want to have intercourse with him because at this point in my life, I only want to have intercourse with someone I'd officially be dating. Well, I feel rejected because I can tell he wouldn't want anything serious with me. Sounds like you had your answer all along. It does suck when we're interested in someone and they're not as interested in us. On to bigger and better things!! {hugs}

From what you described, it would be very unlikely that you acquired herpes. Sounds like a coincidence to me. Any idea why you're having anxiety when it comes to sex?

In my experience, the pill didn't worsen anything. I know now that I had herpes before I even went on the pill, and my symptoms were always so mild that I mistook them for others things (like yeast infections). But I didn't suddenly start having bad outbreaks when I started the pill. I also didn't notice a difference when I stopped either (several years before I got my diagnosis).

Huh. I can see why you made that connection. The next time you have an outbreak, if it were me, I'd be really curious to have it swabbed and typed (most effective if it's an open sore). I've heard even the IgG blood test misses a significant percentage of HSV1 infections. Before I went the rest of my life with minimal kissing, it might be worth a shot. After all, I think toothpaste is super effective for mosquito bites, although that's no what it was designed to do! Also, a lot of people have genital HSV2 and still transmit from their genitals but have no symptoms at all. I'm definitely not trying to be argumentative... Just another perspective for consideration.

Have you ever had the OB swabbed? Is it possible you have genital HSV2 and are asymtomatic, and the outbreak on your chin is unrelated?

I really liked the author's view of rejection in this article: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/big-little-secret-rejection-get-past-quickly

I hear a lot of mixed emotions in your post. When I read it, I heard, "she likes him...but maybe not enough (yet?) to have intercourse....wouldn't mind getting to know him better....would like to just fool around for now...not sure an HSV2 disclosure is really necessary at this point....etc." Am I on the right track? Also, you said you already feel a bit rejected by this guy. Why is that?

If you have HSV2 genitally, it's my understanding that you cannot transmit it from yourself to someone else by giving them oral. If you were receiving oral from someone else, there is a small chance that they could get HSV2 orally, but the chances are very small (sorry, I don't have stats on that). HSV2 strongly prefers to hang out in the genitals.

If you have sores right now, I would get in to see the doctor right away and ask to have it swabbed. That's truly the only way to know which type is causing the outbreak. Anything is possible, but if you want to know for sure, testing is where to start. If the sores aren't bad enough (no broken skin), the swab test may come back inconclusive. That's what happened to me. My outbreaks are so mild and since I have both types, I'm just left to guess that statistically speaking, it's most likely that I have HSV2 genitally and HSV1 orally (with no outbreaks). You might also consider a blood test now and again in a few months. You can tell the type from an IgG blood test but not the location. Keep in mind though that the IgG misses a significant percentage of HSV1 infections (I forget the stat). If it's a new infection, it will usually take a couple of weeks up to 4 months to show up on a blood test. Likewise, it might make sense for the new boyfriend to get tested. If he doesn't test positive for HSV1, then you know your recent outbreak has to be from HSV2 (assuming you haven't received oral from another parter fairly recently). Hope that all makes sense!

^^^^ What @LollyAnn76 said! We're all doing the best we can.

For transmission info, go to the Westover Heights Clinic website and download the herpes handbook there. It can be transmitted from intercourse, oral and just skin to skin genital contact like foreplay. For immediate relief from itching, I like to moisten a cotton square with water then add a couple drops tea tree oil. The oil must be diluted! Long term you could consider antivirals. Valtrex did nothing for me, but after being on acyclovir about two months, suddenly I never itch. And I used to itch all the time, even without outbreaks!

Partner #1 - Is it possible you weren't tested for herpes with your STD panel? It's usually not included unless you specifically ask for it. Partner #2 - A couple of explanations include: (1) maybe he got a false negative from an unreliable test like the IgM (an IgG is the one to get), or (2) maybe he was recently infected from another partner but his body had not yet produced enough antibodies to show up on the test (it can take up to 16 weeks after exposure to test positive on a blood test). If you have herpes, and if your body has made enough antibodies to be detected through a blood test, you'll test positive whether you're having an outbreak or not. And yes, your doctor is misinformed. You can transmit or acquire herpes even in the absence of an outbreak or any symptoms. It's called asymptomatic shedding. Partner #3 - The only way to know if he has herpes is for him to either have a swab done (if he has open sores), or have an IgG blood test (and if he tests negative now, he should also retest in 16 weeks in case it is herpes and its just a new infection). Have you told him about your positive HSV status?

I get prodrome symptoms (the tingling you describe) without an outbreak. Or at least a recognizable one (mine are very mild--enough so that I didn't know I had herpes for the first 20 years!). And when I feel that tingling, it's always in a differnt area than where I tend to get out breaks. Triggers really vary widely. Some people can see a difference with certain foods, others can't. Rough sex can sometimes trigger an outbreak (or not). You'll learn with time and practice and a lot of patience what might be triggers for you.

Sure, it's possible. It's also possible that you're projecting. :-) I say that with love because we've all been there!!! Why not make a visit to the dermatologist or your regular doctor? There are so many things that can cause bumps on the skin that it's not only next to impossible to be diagnosed online, and it's really not fair to you to even attempt it.

If you're not having a active outbreak, it's very unlikely to transfer it to other parts of your body. It is possible, and even more so during the first year, but it's still unlikely. The virus cannot go through clothing, including panties. If you're feeling a lot of anxiety about it, I recommend just not touching yourself down there for a while. Soap in the shower will kill the virus, and if you're applying some kind of cream to an outbreak, go ahead and use a glove or wash your hands after. A decrease in sex drive is very normal. It can take some time for your mind to process all of this before your body is going to bounce back to your usual sex drive.

I'm sorry, @cier. That really sucks. The way he treated you speaks volumes about his character, and you didn't deserve that. By all means, cry...I know I usually feel better after! It's not weakness--it's admitting that something hurt and then releasing it so you can move forward. The thing is, when we try to block or numb negative emotions, we're blocking the positive ones too. I also want to acknowledge your courage to disclose. I haven't done it yet. Not really.....just to a previous long-distance fling who knew I was getting lab results the day of my diagnosis, and to my ex-husband via e-mail. It inspires me a lot to hear about other people disclosing, even when it doesn't work out. There's a quote by Theodore Roosevelt which I thought of when I read your post: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” {hugs}

Your doctor is really the best person to tell you if you should've concerned or not. Wish I could be of more help.

That's the hard part. I was having very mild outbreaks for decades and didn't know. What I remember as more obvious outbreaks (in hindsight), would sting when I touched it and the area itched a lot. It might be different for you. Maddening, I know!! I think many of us just get better at recognizing our outbreaks over time.

Maybe...maybe not. Everyone is different. Is it possible that the cut itself is an outbreak?