HikingGirl

Hi, @Achemeff, and welcome. There are lots of great resources out there. I encourage you to spend some time on this site and also read Terri Warren's Herpes Handbook (https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/). Her full book is also great, but the handbook is free and is a quick read. Do you know which type of HSV (1 or 2) you have?

Hi, Thomas. If you haven't read any of the success stories yet, I think they will give you hope! Mostly, I wanted to say I admire you for having the courage to get back out there, even if it means a few rejections. The rejection part sucks, of course, but I like to think (hope) that you'll actually get *more* confident with each disclosure. I read this joke about rejection last year and it has become one of my favorites: "If you walked up to a homeless person and offered them $100 and he didn't take it, would you feel rejected? No, you'd think this guy is an idiot. Well in life there are a lot of idiots. So keep doing your thing." :-) {hugs!}

Hmmm. I definitely don't claim to be an expert. During my own research over the past year, I've simply noticed that the researchers and health professionals studying herpes are in agreement, but the general medical community is all over the map when it comes to their own knowledge of the subject.

The blood tests aren't testing for the virus. They detect the antibodies your body produces in response to the virus. If you have the antibodies, you have the virus. Even if you've never had an outbreak. The virus sometimes exits the body (asymptomatic shedding) without any symptoms or sores or any other indication. That's why it spreads so easily. By the time we reach middle age especially, it is very, very common. The catch is that most people don't know they have it and doctors don't routinely test for it. I also have HSV1&2 and was shocked to learn about it a year ago. When my ex-husband tested negative for both, I realized I picked it up 20+ years ago and just had no idea all that time that I had it.

I'm not convinced the index value of the IgG test is an indication of how new the infection is. I've had HSV 2 for over 20 years and my index value was 3.27. I pulled out my lab results today, and it says, "The magnitude of the measured results are not indicative of the amount of antibody present."

After 8 weeks, 70% of infected persons will test positive. After 16 weeks, virtually everyone who has HSV will test positive on a blood test. That comes from Terri Warren, a nurse practitioner and herpes expert who used to have an STD clinic. I would personally hold out another 8 weeks so I only have to test once.

Terri Warren, a nurse practitioner and expert on herpes, has said that after 16 weeks, almost everyone infected with HSV2 will test positive on a blood test. So yes, you really are negative for HSV2. Having HSV1 antibodies does not change anything or affect the test results. I know you've been very worried. Now that you have conclusive and reliable test results, you can move forward.

I found out I'm positive for HSV1&2 a year ago, about a year after my divorce. I told my ex/husband and he tested negative for both. We were together for 16 years. I'm still shocked, but it's absolutely possible. In hindsight, I had symptoms, but very mild ones I attributed to yeast infections. It amazes me I had no idea for all those years!!

Hi, @Icanhandlethis. I would assume for now that the area is inflamed because of the torn cuticle. Yes, herpes can spread, and it's most likely to happen around the initial outbreak. But unless you start seeing actual sores, I'd go with the cuticle theory. I know this is a very confusing and scary time. Hang in there! {hugs}

Hmmm. It's hard to say. I don't think there's any reason to jump to the conclusion of genital HSV, but you could always watch and see or speak to your doctor about it.

Wow, @Bambina3. That would be hard to hear. Sometimes I wonder what I would say in a similar situation. I worry someday I'll just blurt out that I have herpes because it would piss me off too much to listen to stereotypical comments. I once made a herpes joke on Facebook and I'll never forget when it popped up as a "memory"....just a few weeks after my unexpected and devastating diagnosis. It was a painful reminder that I was, until recently, one of "them"....making ignorant, judgmental comments. My own theory is that people are afraid of what they don't know. Especially in their own life experience. When my stepdaughter went off to college, she worked as a receptionist in a hair salon where several employees happened to be gay. She grew up in an environment that was heavily influenced by a religion that is intolerant to homosexuality (at her mom's house--my ex and I tried hard to counterbalance that). One day she told her dad (my ex) that she had been wrong for judging people who were gay. She now knew these individuals as real people...not "others", but her friends. I've often wondered what it would be like if every person with genital herpes came out of the closet. What kind of shift we'd see. Even without standard testing. There's no doubt some people would remain as hysterical and judgmental as ever. After all, it's very painful to admit that bad things don't just happen to other people. They can and do happen to all of us, including those we love and care about. Some people will go to their grave avoiding that pain by any means necessary. But still, I wonder about that world. The world where herpes wasn't a thing that only happened to other people, and it wasn't a closely guarded secret. I hope one day to have the courage to "be the change" I want to see.

An outbreak can occur anywhere in the boxer shorts region. Not necessarily where the virus initially enetered the body. Do you have any tenderness, stinging or itching with the bump? You could always ask your doctor to swab it to find out. I'm not sure if the bump/skin has to be broken open to swab.

Many health care providers (including the nurse practitioner who gave me my own diagnosis) are not well informed about herpes and don't know about asymptomatic shedding. The virus can still be transmitted even if there is no outbreak and from potentially any area in the boxer shorts region (that's why condoms don't offer 100% protection). The unfortunate part is that none of us know when asymtomatic shedding occurs. With HSV2, estimates are about 20% of the time (less for genital HSV1). Transmission is always a possibility, but it's not guaranteed. I was married for 15 years, unaware that I had herpes all that time (acquired before we met), and my ex tested negative when I found out a year after the divorce. Anything is possible. One day at a time! {hugs}

Hmmm....do you know what kind of blood test you had? I remember reading somewhere that even the IgG test misses existing HSV1 infections a small but significant percentage of the time. I'll see if I can find the source when I'm home later tonight.

As someone with HSV2, I think it's possible for people to disclose HSV1 in a way that is both realistic in terms of risk while not inadvertently reinforcing the existing stigma against HSV2 which is also usually very mild and is super common. In other words, I like the idea of comparing GHSV1 to something similar that is not stigmatized, such as oral herpes, but I hesitate to endorse the strategy of comparing it to a highly stigmatized virus such as HSV2. Thanks @optimist for saying exactly what I was thinking, albeit much more eloquently!

Hi @JJmagnetic. Is it possible you were misdiagnosed when you were a kid and the rash really wasn't HSV? That seems like the most plausible explanation. This does pose an interesting question though. Anyone know if one already has HSV1 orally, can they get it genitally later on? I have HSV1 orally and HSV2 genitally. I've never even thought about the possibility getting HSV1 genitally too.

When was the blood test done? If it was done at the onset of the outbreak, it was probably an existing infection. [Caveat: What I don't know is if people can have an initial OB weeks or months after becoming infected. I didn't ever have an initial OB. My symptoms were so mild mistook them for other things.] If the blood test was done several weeks after the outbreak, there's no way to know how long you've had the virus. 50% of those infected will have produced enough antibodies after just three weeks to test positive on a blood test. The index value (the numerical value)--to my knowledge--is not indicative of how long you've had the virus. When I tested positive a year ago, my index value for HSV2 was 3.27 (later confirmed with the Western Blot test). When my ex-husband tested negative, I knew I must have acquired the virus for 18-25 years prior.

I'm no expert, but what your ex is saying makes no sense to me. Of course, he's your ex for a reason, so frankly, it really doesn't matter what he says. Do you have copies of your lab results? If not, I'd call you doctor's office and request a copy. You're looking to see what kind of test you had. IgG is the reliable blood test (IgM is the UNreliable blood test). If you had an IgG blood test, you're also looking to see what the numbers are for both HSV1 and HSV2. When you had what you believe to be an initial outbreak, did your doctor swab the sores? That's the best way to determine what your initial outbreak was. Keep in mind that it takes time for your body to produce enough antibodies to the virus to show up on a blood test. After about 4 months, the tests will pick up the antibodies in most people. If your recent (IgG) blood tests say you were negative for HSV2, it may be because the infection was very recent and your body hasn't produced enough antibodies to be detectable in a blood test. I would re-test in 4 months to be sure. (Unless your doctor swabbed your recent sores and that tested positive for HSV1 or 2.) Sorry if that's all confusing. I think it will make more sense once you look at your lab results.

Estimates are that 50-90% of American adults have oral HSV1. It's extremely common. Only about a third of people who have oral HSV1 experience cold sores. As for HSV2, it takes time for your body to produce antibodies to the virus after exposure, which is what the blood test measures. After about 4 months, the blood tests will pick up antibodies in virtually anyone that has them. It's true that IgM tests are unreliable. IgG is the recommended blood test. So yes, it looks like your results are accurate.

Me too. I spent the better part of last year beating myself up for being ignorant. It took a long time to forgive myself for not knowing much of anything about herpes. I'd guess most of us here didn't know much about it until we got our own diagnosis.

I will definitely get tested again. I guess it is just odd for me to have acquired it. I've never slept with a lot of people, but I have made out with a lot of girls. Guess luck of the draw and the recent shaving etc. That's just it. It's not at all odd for you to have acquired herpes. (Especially oral herpes, but this would be the same conversation if we were talking exclusively about genital herpes.) The HSV1 and HSV2 viruses are extremely common and easily spread. They're not reserved for the careless or the promiscuous. I only had a few partners before my ex, and always used condoms. If you're kissing people and having sex, the risk is ALWAYS there. The only thing that has changed is now you're aware of it.

Welcome, @TheGirlHasNoName. I just wanted to acknowledge your courage for getting out of an abusive relationship. I'm also glad to hear you have supportive friends--they are priceless!

Hi @JohnJay, and welcome. I totally understand the feeling of realizing how much you didn't know when you first start to learn about HSV. Most people don't know much of anything about the virus, which contributes to the stigma and also the panic you're feeling. The risk of her having it genitally? Well, 1 in 5 or 6 people have HSV2 genitally. I don't believe I've ever read the stats on the number of people with genital HSV1, only that about half of all new cases of genital herpes is HSV1. Anywhere from 50-90% of the population has oral HSV1. Only aboout a third have visible cold sores. I have HSV1 (and HSV2 for that matter) and I've never had a cold sore in my life. This means that 50-90% of all women you date already have oral HSV1. It's extremely common. The risk of you having received HSV1 genitally or HSV2 is very low. There is no magic number to use here, but consider the stats for HSV2. The transmission rate from female to male for HSV2 is 4% a year (assuming sex twice a week) with no condoms. Using a condom reduces the risk by about half, as do antivirals. The asymptomatic shedding with oral HSV1 is much less frequent than HSV2. Yes, it's possible to get HSV1 or 2 with just one encounter, but the risk is very low. I found out I have HSV1 and 2 after my divorce (I had absolutely no idea I had either), and my ex later tested negative for both--and we were married for 15 years using no precautions whatsoever. The reason your blood test came back negative for HSV1 is due to a couple of things. First, some blood tests tend to give false negatives for HSV1. Second, the blood tests are detecting antibodies your body produces in response to acquiring the new virus. It takes up to 4 months for you to produce enough antibodies to be detected with a blood test. If you test for HSV2 before four months, you may get a false negative. But in the end, you don't even know if she has HSV2. 80-90% of people with HSV2 don't know they have it. Chances are you acquired oral HSV1 from her mouth. HSV1 prefers to live in the mouth, even though genital HSV1 is becoming more common. Plus, you've likely kissed her far more often than you've given her oral. Yes, it's possible you only contracted it orally under all of the circumstances you described. Time and knowledge will help with the anxiety you're feeling. I think it's great that you're doing so much research on HSV. Keep doing the things you enjoy because life does go on. ;-) {hugs}

You made a mistake, you learned something from it, and you'll take with you going forward in your own life. Unfortunately, you can't control his reaction or what he says and does. Keep in mind that when it comes to new infections, it takes up to four months for someone's body to produce enough antibodies to be detected in a blood test. So if he gets a positive blood test in the next few days, it means he had HSV before you met.

Thanks, @Lollyann76! We must have been replying at the same time. Your answer is much simpler! :-)