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I don't know the chances that you passed it via a broken condom. Less if you're also on antivirals though. Try not to stress out too much. These things are just part of having sex. There are always risks but I think most agree the risks are worth the benefits. Take care!

Yeah that means it's a new infection no antibodies positive Swab is new infection Yup.

Most likely. Unless it's a false negative. You can retest your IgG in a few months. If it has come up then it's safe to assume you caught HSV from your most recent partner.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Am I correct in understanding you didn't actually know you had HSV? From reading your post it sounds like you only knew your ex had it. While you could have drawn the conclusion you might have it based on that alone it's not a for sure thing. I can't say this situation required disclosure. If someone knowingly has sexual contact with someone who has an HSV diagnosis that doesn't warrant a disclosure. Sure, a sexually responsible person would get tested at the end of said relationship before moving on but considering that doctors often won't test without symptoms you could request testing, get denied the test, and still be in the same situation if whether or not you disclose your past partner's status. If that's a required disclosure well, we all ought to be walking around telling every partner we might have HSV. This would all be so much simpler if the stigma were gone and people just assumed they might end up with HSV like the majority of the population. But since it's transmitted sexually everyone gets their puritanical panties in a bunch about HSV. It's also entirely possible that if your girlfriend tests positive she's an asymptomatic carrier and has had it longer than you. Unless she has no sexual past at all you can't be certain. Now if she has a primary outbreak, tests swab positive, IgG negative, and then later tests IgG positive that'd be a more definitive diagnosis that you gave it to her, but who cares. I'm going out into the weeds now when that level of certainty really shouldn't matter. It's not a big deal for the vast majority of folks who have it. I think you can attest to that considering you didn't even know you had it. Good luck and I hope you and your girlfriend go on to have lots of fun sex!

Once it's in your genitals you can have an outbreak anywhere in the boxer short area. If it's on your testicle this time and next your shaft, or even your anus, that does not mean you inoculated another area.

I can so understand the feeling of being caught off guard with this. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 15 years and suddenly I have a classic genital herpes out break. I can say with certainty I nor my husband cheated. The doctor never swabbed my lesions but she did run IgG tests which came back negative. So, assuming what I had was herpes and in the absence of a false negative, the assumption at this point is that my husband is an asymptomatic carrier and it took 15 years to finally pass to me. Did you get any testing done other than the swab? How long ago was it? If it was within a couple weeks or so you could go get IgG testing. You could also encourage your partner to get IgG testing as well. If your test is negative and his is positive there's a good chance your partner is asymptomatic and you got it from him. However, if you're IgG is positive and his is negative then you have probably had this for a while. Of course it's always possible be you're both positive and you may never know what/where/when. Considering that 80-90% of folks with HSV don't know they have it because symptoms are either nonexistent or mild enough to go unnoticed this very well could be a primary outbreak.

Please, please bear in mind that 94% of people your age in the U.S. have at least one type of HSV (either HSV1 or HSV2), and some have both. What is uncommon at 49 is NOT to have it. If you are afraid of your ex's temper, that seems like a significantly bigger problem than HSV. If you are not comfortable discussing it with him due to his temper, especially considering your ER comment, I would advise not only *not* discussing it with him but also not considering reconciliation, regardless of HSV status. Please be safe and take care of yourself and your kids. I second all of that.

Yes, it is possible to have it chilling in your body without symptoms only to have it show up at some random time.

Hard to say. It's probably just as likely that he already has it and is asymptomatic. Keep in mind that most people already have HSV1 by the time they reach adulthood. So chances are if he doesn't already he will soon with or without your kisses.

And thanks for the update!

@Cemc005, congrats! I can understand your joy. I've been with my husband for 15 years. Out of nowhere I experienced a primary HSV outbreak. The assumption at this point is that my husband is an asymptomatic carrier. Obviously neither of us knew anything about that when we started our relationship but knowing now I'd do it again, and again, and again because he is awesome and we are awesome together!!! HSV is a very tiny price to pay for 15 years of great sex and loving companionship.

@wishingicouldgoback85, can you post so we know you're okay. Hugs.

If you really want to make a safer world start with education about HSV so that when some teen gets it s/he doesn't contemplate suicide. Or when this shows up in a long term monogamous relationship it doesn't blow up a family. Or when you disclose to someone their response is, "it's all good that's just part of having sex." I apologize to the OP for hijaking the thread, but I have to say I just I love this comment. I’m approaching the two-year anniversary of my diagnosis, and I can’t shake the feeling that I need to do my part to improve education and understanding in some way. I’ve occasionally attended a new church in the last year which offers a sex education class, and sometimes I think to myself, “Hmmmm...maybe I should have a chat with whoever is teaching it.” Or I think I might be more open about my status with a few close friends (I’ve only told one). I have such admiration for @Adrial for standing up to the stigma and really doing something about it. But I do wish I had more ideas for chipping away at the stigma in smaller ways. @hikinggirl, thanks for the shout out! I too have admired what @Adial has done and have also wondered what I could do to help. I've thought about volunteering with Planned Parenthood but I'm still feeling very protective over my privacy with this. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ From: username (previously known as dumfounded)

I know you are high risk for colon cancer so please keep us updated of any future developments. Also keep in mind that hemorrhoids and anal fissures can have the symptoms you're experience. So maybe not herpes or cancer. Again, keep us posted.

Your situation is not uncommon. I have been in a 15 year monogamous relationship and BAM I've got a classic primary genital herpes infection. My IgG came back negative so, in the absence of a false negative, I had to have gotten this from my husband. Did he cheat. No. Did I ask him. Yes. I had to ask, but I never thought he did. My hubby hasn't been tested because we don't really care since it doesn't change anything for us but the assumption is that my husband is an asymptomatic carrier and it took 15 years to transmit to me. When I saw my doctor I was shocked and dumbfounded. She told me she's usually shocked too. Not because this shows up out of nowhere but because so many couple's come in thinking their spouse cheated and had no idea herpes can show up like this. So, unfortunately no matter how much you unpack this it is not likely you'll ever know for sure. Do you have any reason not to trust your husband? If things are going good, if you trust your husband then let it go and move forward with your beautiful family.

That's great she had a PCR done on the lesions. That test is much more accurate and conclusive. Keep us posted.

@scaredmom18 This is why I think you should get a second opinion. https://www.statnews.com/2017/01/26/herpes-testing-false-positives/ "A 2005 study published in the journal BioMed Central Infectious Disease found that index values above 3.5 yielded over 90 percent accuracy — but scores between 1.1 and 3.5 had around a 50 percent chance of being wrong. What’s more, scores falling just above the 1.1 cutoff had an almost 90 percent chance of being wrong." Considering your daughter's lab results of 1.8 she has, at best, a 50/50 chance of having HSV. You might as well flip a coin.

This is why I think you should get a second opinion. https://www.statnews.com/2017/01/26/herpes-testing-false-positives/ "A 2005 study published in the journal BioMed Central Infectious Disease found that index values above 3.5 yielded over 90 percent accuracy — but scores between 1.1 and 3.5 had around a 50 percent chance of being wrong. What’s more, scores falling just above the 1.1 cutoff had an almost 90 percent chance of being wrong." Considering your daughter's lab results of 1.8 she has, at best, a 50/50 chance of having HSV. You might as well flip a coin.

How were you diagnosed? Swab? Blood test? A blood test could give you a general idea as to whether or not this is a recent or established infection. It's possible your boyfriend gave it to you and has just never had symptoms. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter, in my opinion, but if he's going to say he doesn't want to be with you over it he ought to be damn sure he's not the one who gave it to you in the first place. With our crappy sex education and a stigma much grander than the virus itself the diagnosis can be difficult to accept. The fact that your boyfriend is telling you in this moment that he might bail over HSV is just plain rude. Especially when, even if he is negative, he can walk away from you (who knows your status) and into the arms of someone who does not know their status.

I have autoimmune hyperthyroidism (she's hypo which is opposite but they're both autoimmune) and just contracted HSV from my husband after 15 years of monogamy. And it's a non issue for me at this point. Good luck and congratulations!

Miralax. Get some. I too have struggled with a hemorrhoid since have my second child and anytime things get irritated down there miralax helps a ton!! I'll add too, that my hemorrhoid has caused more discomfort than my initial outbreak.

Two things. First, and perhaps the most important is that herpes is not a big deal. Really it's not. It's so innocuous that most people (80+%) who have it don't know because they have no noticable symptoms. Many people who do get symptoms will have one outbreak and never have another, like chicken pox. Those who have continued outbreaks will notice their symptoms decrease with time, from what I've read the second outbreak is never as bad as the first, and it just improves from there. If you're going to have sex, and everyone should, you're likely going to be exposed to HSV 1 or 2, especially when you consider 2/3 of folks have HSV1 and 1/4 have HSV2. Genital HSV carries a reputation the virus does not deserve. The stigma comes from 1) the fact that you get it on your genitals and people get all weird when they think about genitals and 2) the fact that you get it from sex and people get all weird when they think about sex. So the take home message is herpes is not a big deal! Second) you should get a second opinion. HSV2 is not likely to transmit from oral to genital. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's really unlikely. Couple that with the fact that had her test results been a touch lower they'd be called negative. False positives do happen. If her number was more solid, or even if it was type 1 it'd make more sense but I'm skeptical of her diagnosis. So relax. She might not even have it. Take this as an opportunity to have some good ol' sex education because Lord knows it's lacking in the US. And remember the only way to avoid STIs like herpes is abstinence and that's no fun. I've only been with two people, the second being my husband who also has a scant sexual past. Neither of us have ever had any known symptoms of HSV and 15 years into our monogamous relationship, bam! Herpes. He did recall what might have been a cold sore as a kid so maybe that's the culprit, who knows. Who cares. If it can happen to me it can happen to anyone. And truth be told I'd do it all over again and again and again because my husband is awesome and we're awesome together, plus I'm not a fan of celibacy. Another woman I met on a similar forum was a virgin when she married her virgin husband but because we all like oral sex, and since most the population has HSV1, she now has it genitally. Good luck!

@regularguy, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You. Are. A. Rockstar!

You really don't need to take special precautions with anyone you're not engaging in sex with. There is a small theoretical possibility of transmitting via wet towels but I don't believe that's actually ever happened. I could be wrong about the towels though, I too am pretty new at this.

Sorry, I know that doesn't answer all your questions but I answered what I could.