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If you're having back to back out breaks you'll probably benefit from suppressive therapy. Either way your immune system will probably figure it out sooner or later and keep your HSV at bay. Please don't hate this about yourself. There are 8 herpes viruses and just about everyone in the population has a couple. HSV in particular is a common one. The majority of people have HSV 1 or 2. Most people who have it have no noticeable symptoms. It really is an innocuous virus. The only reason you feel dirty is because our culture associates herpes with sex and sex with being unclean. Think about cold sores. No one with cold sores is thought of as dirty. But you take that same virus and relocate it to the genitals and everyone gets their puritanical panties in a bunch. Why? Because we get all weird about sex and think it's icky. Considering that the majority of folks have this virus the only sure way to protect yourself would be abstinence. I think most can agree with me that sex is worth the risk, which is why just about the entire human population takes the risk. You will find a guy who accepts you! There are so many reasons why someone won't except you, too short, too tall, too loud, too shy, too outgoing, too risky, too reserved, herpes... And the list goes on. Someone will come along who accepts you and all your imperfections. With experience I think you'll see the role HSV plays will not be a leading one, or even supporting actor. Maybe an extra at most. Or a background prop. There are lots of suggestions about disclosing on this forum, so I'll let someone with more experience take the lead. I'm married and didn't get this until 15 years into a monogamous relationship so I don't have any experience disclosing, but from reading this forum it sounds like rejection because of HSV is rare. Take care!

I could be wrong but I don't think herpes has such intermittent symptoms that it will come and go during a single day or even for a couple days. Herpes or not don't worry. Worrying won't change anything other than suck your time away from you. Easier said than done, I know. It's just that herpes really isn't a big deal. It's so innocuous that most who have it have no idea because it doesn't cause any noticeable symptoms. Plus it's common. The majority of people have HSV 1 or 2. So if you did end up with it you're now in the majority. Good luck!

Thanks for the update! I have a hemorrhoid from childbirth and it's caused more issues than HSV. Also, you don't have to worry about spreading it to yourself anally. I thought that at first too and was so nervous about it but once it's in the genitals anywhere in the boxer shorts area is fair game. So you cant spread it from your penis to your anus. If you have it genitally you have it anywhere in the boxer shorts area. You might have already said this but do you know what type you have? And you found out about it while in a relationship, right? Are you still with the same girl? Is she the one who gave it to you? Just curious. Thanks!

All I can say is to give him the information and let him decide if he's willing to take that risk. If he is, let it go and enjoy some good sex.

Why cortisone? I would think that would not be helpful.

I don't want to dismiss your feelings because what you are feeling is common but I'm here to say, herpes is not a big deal. I felt devastated at first too but after learning about herpes I really don't care anymore. You'll likely get there too. Most do. I know this sounds odd, but part of me is kinda proud to have been inducted into the HSV crowd. I am now more educated, more informed, and less judgmental than those who know nothing about this virus. Rarely is it medically significant and once you're an adult if you don't have HSV1 or 2 you are actually in the minority. In addition, almost 100% of the population has one of 8 herpes viruses. HSV is common and usually tolerated well. It's just not a big deal. If you engage in sexual activity you're going to get exposed to herpes. The alternative is abstinence and in my opinion sex is worth the risk.

You are not alone! You feel that way because of an erroneous stigma. No one cares about cold sores but you get them in your genitals and our culture gets their Puritan panties in a bunch. It's only herpes. It's rarely ever medically significant. By the time people reach adulthood most have hsv1 or 2 and just about everyone in the population is walking around with at least one of 8 herpes viruses. I know this is scary. I felt scared and alone and shameful too but the more I learn about HSV the more I really don't care I have it. Maybe some day everyone will get to that point. If your oral out break is from HSV2 well, you're in luck. The mouth is not HSV2's happy place so chances are it may never comes around. It is extremely rare fo oral hsv2 outbreaks to recur. I would also think that an anal HSV2 outbreak internally would result in very painful bowel movements. Also just because you had anal sex doesn't mean you'll get anal lesions. Anywhere in the boxer shorts area is free game no matter where the exposure occurred. Lastly, your doctor sounds like a real ass. Get a new one.

Yes, you would still create antibodies even if it took months or years before a first out break. 6 weeks is a long time for symptoms to last. Is it clearing at all? Please keep us posted on your lab results I'm intrigued.

The fact that it is to your knee doesn't sound like herpes. Is it unilateral? If it's unilateral I vote shingles.

A couple things come to mind. One, it could be shingles. Two, if it's HSV it's entirely possible your wife is an asymptomatic carrier and you finally contracted it after all these years. If that's the case you would expect your IgG to be negative as this would be a recent infection. Did they swab and culture the lesions? If not you could either encourage your wife to get an IgG test, if she's negative (and it's not a false negative) then you probably have shingles. Is it only on one side? That's typical of shingles. If your wife tests positive (and it's not a false positive) well then, you probably have what she has. I'm actually in a similar situation. I've been with my spouse for 15 years and out of nowhere I had genital lesions. Doctor said it looked like herpes but my IgG was negative. No swab was done. The assumption is that my husband is an asymptomatic carrier and I finally got it from him. He never went and got tested and I may or may not go back for follow up testing. Neither of us really care since it doesn't change anything.

I believe cultures can type it for you. If they didn't do typing you could get an IgG test and that should tell you. It is not uncommon for people to have one outbreak and never again, or to only have them rarely. Or in your boyfriend's case to never have them. 80% of people with herpes don't know because they have no noticeable symptoms. It really is an innocuous virus that rarely causes symptoms. Our society just freaks out about it because we're so uncomfortable with sex. That's why cold sores don't carry the same stigma. Exact same virus, just different location.

"For a second I forgot I am different...". But you're not different. You're not a different person than who you were nor are you different from those around you. You feel that way because of an erroneous stigma. No one cares about cold sores but you get them in your genitals and our culture gets their Puritan panties in a bunch. It's only herpes. It's rarely ever a medically significant. By the time people reach adulthood most have hsv1 or 2 and just about everyone in the population is walking around with at least one of 8 herpes viruses. I know this is scary. I felt scared and different and shameful too but the more I learn about HSV the more I really don't care I have it. Maybe some day everyone will get to that point.

Granted this is a forum of thousands but likely only a handful are active. I understand you are asking for natural remedies. Usually those involved in alternative therapies are happy to share their methods so maybe they just aren't here. Perhaps you could find a website that is specifically for naturopathic treatments or find a naturopathic doctor. A Google search yielded the following link for me: https://draxe.com/how-to-get-rid-of-herpes/. So maybe you'll need to search around a bit to find what you're looking for. Also there are other ways you could be intimate with your partner. One person said she has her partner use a vibrator over her panties while she gives him hand jobs. You could also perform oral on him. I'm really sorry you are going through so much. It truly sounds like you've been dealt an unfair hand in life. I can tell you are frustrated and feel you aren't receiving be the support you need from this forum. I know you said you won't be able to talk but maybe some kind of online therapy forum would be useful to help you process the emotional load you are carrying. Best of luck to you.

I'd like to add that spreading the word does wonders at erasing the stigma so perhaps a shout from the rooftops is what we need. If it weren't for people like Adrial or Ella Dawson I wouldn't be as comfortable with HSV as I am now.

Herpes is so unpredictable. I had classic herpes lesions pop up 15 years into a monogamous relationship with my husband never having any symptoms. I freaked out but have learned a lot since and I don't really care anymore. I am, however, on the edge of my seat waiting for a second out break and wondering what it will be like. I don't take any meds for it. I figured I want to learn how my body handles this on its own since for most it's hardly noticeable. If I were actively dating I'd do suppressive therapy but since I'm married and the assumption is my husband gave it to me it's life as usual for us.

So far my husband and I are all who know. Since I haven't actually had a definitive diagnosis yet, I figure I'll wait for that before sharing. Once/if I get a definitive diagnosis I'll probably tell my mom and best friend and maybe additional people if it comes up in conversation. The way I see it, I don't shout from the rooftops that I have Graves disease or endometriosis. I don't tell everyone I've had two miscarriages or that my uterus is tilted. All my friends don't know how I like things in the bedroom with my husband or that I'm prone to yeast infections. Somethings I don't want to share and that's okay.

I think the more you learn about HSV the less you'll care that you have it. For the vast majority of people it's just not a big deal, or even a small one. Most people, like you, don't even get symptoms.

I thought transferring HSV through utensils was a myth? I thought HSV is not present in body fluids like saliva but requires actual skin to skin contact for transmission to occur. Is that not right? Always a learning process for me.

If you want to protect people from HSV educate them. Educate them so when a 19 year old girl contracts it she doesn't contemplate suicide. Or when it shows up out of nowhere in a monogamous relationship it doesn't blow up a marriage. Educate so that people like your ex feel perfectly comfortable telling their partners. Most people tolerate HSV just fine. In fact most people don't have any symptoms. I know it has hit you kind of hard. I'm not sure how long you've had it but if it's relatively new to your body you're likely to see things get much better. There is no doubt I'd be angry if I were in your shoes, but putting yourself through the chaos of a trial would probably take a bigger tole on you than it's worth. I really am sorry you're going through this.

@optimist, if I could give your response a standing ovation I would. Great answer. I'd also like to add that it appears, @OregonH, your anger started when she left you. I get the impression that the risk she exposed you to was acceptable until she left you.

My first outbreak came 15 years into my monogamous relationship with my hubby. He has never had any symptoms, not even a cold sore, so you can imagine my shock. Since my outbreak was determined to have been a recent exposure the only possibility is that my husband was the culprit. He never went to get tested because neither of us really cared enough to see but the assumption is that he's an asymptomatic carrier and I finally got it after 15 years. But he's pretty awesome and I'd get herpes any day for that guy. Good luck!

Jack101, has such a great point. There's a reasonable possibility you've been living with HSV2 since 2011 without actually having HSV2. If you've never had an outbreak it's impossible to tell what part of your body you have it on. Statistically speaking you're more likely to have HSV1 orally though. So if I was a betting person I'd bet you have it orally and it's probably been there for most your life. So, how does it feel to get undiagnosed? (;

I just want to echo what others have said. If you need to be near an ER (I'm assuming you mean emergency room) when you tell him you have HSV then HSV is not your problem. The way you worded it made it sound like your partner might hurt you. Is that how you meant it to sound or are we misunderstanding?

All very good points! I'm glad you guys can comfortably move on from this.

You obviously care deeply about your partner. You also need to do what is comfortable for you. You could always have him read what you wrote. It's very honest, heartfelt, and loving. You could also offer hand jobs during that period of uncertainty.