victoriaxxx

I AM IN WASHINGTON STATE. :D Soon to be Georgia !!!!

This story is funny ! Made me smile. Since you are glad to be back in the club, I want to say welcome back !

Dancer you always have great advice.

DamagedLotus I am going to give some harsh advice. The fact is that you have it and there is nothing that you can do to change it. It's not going to get any better if YOU don't let it get better. You self loathing and giving yourself a pity party IS NOT helping your situation at all. If you think positive and breathe then it will get better... I remember we talked about in another thread how the way we open up about our herpes to someone is initially how they are going to take it. If we are extremely upset about it and we talk about how " we deserve this.." or.. " this is such a bad thing." The fact of the matter is that it is NOT! The stigma is inside your head, and the stigma is talking to you. There are people out there who deserve it or don't deserve it. The fact of the matter is WE CAN NOT CHANGE.. (( Sorry I am not trying to yell, I just can't do italics.) All we can do is allow it to settle into our mind. If you keep telling yourself that you are not going to live that happy life with husband and kids then you will not have that happy life... Because your life will only play how you let it play. I know there are a lot of things in this world that are not fair. Life is not fair. Isn't that the truth. The fact that I am having an OB looking thing around my mouth and that it could possibly be oral Herpes also ? and that I accidentally spread it to my eyes.. Does that mean that I or any of us don't deserve a happy ending? No... That does not. We only let ourselves go as far as we want. Sorry to say, but I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to stick around if I kept crying and crying. If I kept being upset about it.. because it is not the end of the world. We are all still here, we are all still breathing. Take a look outside and realize that life is beautiful. Good and the bad, we are lucky to be here. You are lucky to be here. && I am sorry you don't feel that way, but it is the truth.

._.; Nice. I like Mozart, definitely wouldn't imagine him in my sex life though... I am more like the Scorpions. "Rock me like a Hurricane."

Go slow and soft ? Herry... Did you really just say this? D:

Shaving has come up a few times. I have heard some people say that shaving can trigger an outbreak.. I know that I didn't get my first OB until after I shaved. That is why I just thought it was razor burn.. I have also heard from some people that it does not cause OB's.. It all depends on the person. I don't know if you know this though, but I decided because my boyfriend and I read an article from this DR... (( I forgot his name.)) Talking about how pubic hair is to prevent the spread from STD's, because sometimes we don't know if we are having an OB.. Some people don't get symptons, or shedding. It keeps it that much less closer to exact skin to skin contact. I decided instead of shaving I am going to trim.. But for me they do cause outbreaks.. I am not sure about the sex one, but I am thinking that a lot of sex could, because of the moisture. The moisture can sometimes irritate and cause an OB.. I am not sure so take what I just said about sex for a grain of salt.

Nice to meet you also !

Yeah.. My mom always told me I need to learn when to shut my mouth. I always said " No if I have something to say then I will say it." I am figuring it out now. I don't want to continuously put pressure on him, because then I know that he might leave. I mean he might leave either way, but I don't want him to leave because of the pressure. We have such a beautiful thing going here. I don't want to ruin it... Not because of my mouth at least. Sometimes I just wish I could sew it up, but then again I am glad I can't, because then I would be stuck in my head. I know he cares about me deeply. I know he is there for me, but it is still just the beginning.. && you know ? Maybe I just need to get it out here, or write it down... or doodle it out or something ? There are so many outlets that I can use until the time is appropriate to actually talk to him. It's just like when I talk to my parents about certain things... I learn when is a good time to talk to them, and when is not a good time.. I need to do that with him. Especially since he is starting school and work now. He already has quite some pressure on him already.. I don't want to add to that. Honestly, all I want to do is ease his pressure.. So I am just going to shut my mouth, before I get ahead of myself.

"But after all is said and done I now see that each one of my “suitcases” has helped me become the person I am today and all though they are a part of me, I am not my extra baggage." Beautiful. Everything that has happened, and everything we have done in life whether it be good or bad has made us who we are today. I would say every one of us is... Strong Beautiful Determined Courageous Powerful We are all warriors !

I am reading this right meow. (:

@WCSDancer2010 - Maybe it is something deeper than that. Last night after I posted this I was sitting here thinking about it. Thought to myself " Man I do talk about this a lot." Like you said, us as women are talkers. Generally we talk about our feelings. I know that sometimes we can get a little overboard, because we continuously talk and talk and talk about our feelings.. As men they can kind of start to feel smothered, because all they want to do is help us.. But like you said only one thing at a time... I think I am not going to stress about it any more, and talk about it when the time comes. When it is an appropriate conversation. If you guys know me by now you all know that I like to lay it all out on the table right away ! When it is on my mind. I am blunt and to the point. Maybe with him I need to slow my roll just a little bit. @Adrial - && talking about slowing my roll, I am going to save that video and talk about it with him when the time is necessary. (: Thanks guys !

&& I still can not help that inside of me it is because of this.. I remember talking about it to some of you before, because he said he didn't want to take the chance... && now he is saying that i am over stressing it..

Tonight I brought it up again.. I wasn't trying to annoy him, but he ended up getting annoyed. I told him that it was important to me. I told him it would be nice to receive oral. He said " I don't care if I get oral or not. I would rather have real sex verses oral any day." I just told him it is something that I would like to talk about.. He said that really he didn't say he didn't want to give me oral because of my herpes, he said it was because I talk about it so much to him that it doesn't appeal to him any more... He said that he feels like it would be a letdown for me if I didn't get it.. That is not the point at all. I just wanted to talk to him about it, because I wanted to let him know that it was still safer than most things.. I didn't want to upset him. /:

Thanks forum mom ! (: I agree with her. That is not something that you want to just hide.. I grew up with my mom having herpes also. She always told me no matter what the STD is.. That you need to always inform them ahead of time. That would only be fair like she said. It would also be hurtful to the man to know a few years down the road " OMG... My girlfriend or wife has HPV and HSV, and I never knew about it?" There would be a trust issue after that also if he never got it.. He would probably wonder "What else had this girl not told me ?"

HPV is linked to a lot of cancer and a lot of different things. There are over 100 types of HPV.. including genital warts. I think you could use that support group for HPV also. (: Your welcome. I hope you look up. @HerryTheHerp - you should become an author !

I know someone who has HSV and HPV... They live a perfectly happy and good life. They are doing fine.. he also has a wife that is HPV and HSV negative. There is always someone out there that will love you, but first you must love yourself.. I am sorry I don't really know what else to say about the HPV.. I just really hope that you look up. Feel better and realize that there is a lot of things in life that you can still do and love. <3

I have a question about Acyclovir.. Can it potentially hurt you in the long run ?

<3 Wow.. Beautiful.

I know I watched this the other day also when she posted it. We are who we are, and no matter what each and every one of us are beautiful !!

I know. It really is beautiful. I feel as if every time I teach and I learn also... We are like a flower that is slowly blooming.

HAHAHAHAHA. You guys reminded me of something. The first time you make the mistake you are " Young and Dumb." The second and third time you make the mistake you are " Old and Stupid."

Hello Dolly, Welcome to the forum. (: He might have not actually tried to give it to you. You might have had it a lot longer than you thought you did, but don't let your mind over analyze the situation. This could be a good sign! Take it day by day. Don't over think about if he wants to be with you or if he doesn't. I remember doing that so much with my boyfriend and that did not help the situation at all. Finally I just saw that he wanted to be with me no matter what ! (: I agree with dancer. Maybe you can be abstinent for a while and get to know each other mentally rather than physically. That is also what my boyfriend and I have been doing and want to continue doing. H was a life changing experience for me. For a lot of us. For me it made me want to take things slow and do it the right way. Rather than just jump into sex !

I looked up one on fb... && I found a genital herpes page.. && he was just making jokes about it.

First off, Welcome to the forum. ( I am late due to foot ball. ) It is possible that he could have had cold sores, or fever blisters. That he just had them all his life. I have had fever blisters since I was a kid. (Even though I didn't test positive for type 1. ) I know that I have them sometimes. That can be passed to you genitally if he gave you oral sex.. He could have had it or you could have already had it also. It is possible for it to stay dormant until times of stress like that. BUT BREATHE. <3 I know things are hard right now. You mind is probably running over board. Take this time to relax do something like aroma therapy, or a massage, or just a nice relaxing bath. Something that will get your mind off things for a while so that you can take everything in rationally. I know it doesn't look like it right now, but things will be alright. Like she said, if you calm down and calm down the stress then your OB's will be managed better and be better. I promise. <3