forgivenessandpeace

Right now you are beating that young woman up pretty good when she really needs you to love her and let her know that she's just as beautiful and "enough" as she was before all this ... if not more-so. Oh gosh @WCSDancer2010 when I first read this I thought, "I'm beating up kallyL ?' but I think the young woman you're talking about is me... :'-(

@rocksheart I'm HSV2+ but I know if I feel that burning tingling feeling like the virus is on the march, I take L-Lysine supplements http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-237-lysine.aspx?activeingredientid=237&activeingredientname=lysine http://www.med.nyu.edu/content?ChunkIID=21570 which seem to really tamp down activity and I wonder if that would help you as a preventative measure. Also, I personally get more prodromes than blisters but I've noticed that people on here rave about the effectiveness of hydrogen peroxide. It made me wonder if a home-made hydrogen peroxide wipe used on your H+ partner might back the virus off long enough to protect you. Clearly I'm not a doctor and this is SPECULATION. There is a sore lack of research in this area. I think we have to make our own lab.

Gosh there is so much that comes along with this diagnosis: 1) a pressing health issue which can be more or less debilitating, 2) the huge psychological trauma, justified or not, 3) the self-blame and hatred for being promiscuous/stupid, and very often 4) how to deal with the gifter who is often someone very close. Relationships are complex enough without this complication. I was furious with my gifter. And so ashamed of myself: I knew he wasn't trustworthy yet I trusted him with my sexual health. I continued to see him for quite a while because the end of my sex life on top of it all was just too much. I was so afraid of never finding anyone again. This initial phase you're in is such a hard time, both physically and emotionally. Take extra special care of yourself right now @kallyL. We can get through this!

Oh yes, we are most definitely especially desirable ;) Is dating easier now that I have HSV2? I guess in a sense I feel more in control: there's no risk of jumping into a sexual relationship too quickly like I did with my giver. But nah, dating is always a numbers game.

@ithappebedtome Oh my gosh I am soooo sorry for what happened to you. I still have a lot of anger toward my giver some days (like a LOT of anger). I cannot imagine how devastated you must feel when you TRIED to stop him, you TRIED to listen to your intuition and he simply wore you down. If I were a lawyer, I'd try to help you throw his sorry ass in jail. I also get how you feel trapped. I continued to see my giver occasionally for over a year, thinking, "Who else can I have sex with?" Finally I decided that if he could knowingly give me herpes (he had an active blister at the time, the mother fucker), then what else could he do to me? Now I'm at greater risk for HIV, is that next? There is no shame in being HSV+; there IS shame in not disclosing, and what he did to you? That is a CRIME!!

@Sam Way way way too long to suffer in silence. I'm so sorry for that! Welcome!

@Bpage0306 I'm so sorry to hear what happened and about your break-up. Be aware that if you are just experiencing your first outbreak your immune system is fighting hard and learning how to manage this thing. And it will succeed. In the meantime, you will need to take extra good care of yourself. I know I felt tremendous fatigue and listlessness when I contracted this. And when you're sick your mind can go to dark places. Cut yourself some slack for not feeling all positive and embracing of this virus. It's okay to mourn and grieve and allow yourself to recover. YES the CDC's stance is outrageous. We will work to change that. There will be time for that. Meanwhile check out this member's story: "For anyone who doesn't know @NSgreenville 's story... you can click on his name, then "Discussion" and go back to his first posts when he first joined while his world seemed to be crashing all around him." He was devastated at first like we all are but wow, what a happy ending. There may not be hope now but there WILL be! P.S. Would you tell a friend who unwittingly caught this infection that she was gross and dirty and had no chance of ever being desirable again? No? Then please don't treat yourself that way. Your body and heart have been traumatized: they need your loving kindness now more than ever!

Good luck to you and I wish nothing but the best for your heart!

Oh gosh @Miji69, I really have no experience to help you but you've read @NSgreenville's story and, maybe you're ready to make yourself really vulnerable or maybe you want to grow your emotional intimacy with him for a bit longer. You say, "I feel like this guy is falling for me and I'm leading him on". You even aplogised for being "useless". He, on the other hand thinks "you're AMAZING" and states that you've got plenty of time for that. Maybe you should take him up on that? You don't owe him sex. You are not a tease just because you're not comfortable going there yet. Four dates is not THAT many. If he is that into you, he will wait for you to be totally comfortable, right?

That's all I could find as well. It seemed to me that my initial OB dragged on for MONTHS with these neuralgia symptoms. Seems to have calmed down now nearly 2 years later. Now as soon as I feel any of that burning/itching/sensitive-skin-like-sunburn or even that tailbone soreness, I start up acyclovir.

Then: unsafe and impulsive relationships wherein I didn't establish healthy boundaries Now: super hopeful since reading @NSgreenville 's success story and inspired to be even more awesomer than I was on my birthday in 2012.

Does soap and water work on HSV2?

@FF1 I'm so sorry to hear of the pain and self-loathing that accompanied your h diagnosis. It's hard enough having this virus in the internet age when we can get support, I can't imagine how lonely it must have felt back in the 80's. (Although my kids tell me I'm lucky I got to live in the 80's, haha.) Your post has brought me sooo much hope! You have not one but TWO fantastic disclosure success stories! As for the "nice girl" you're dealing with now, well she seems to be not the sharpest tool in the shed. It's clear from the way you express yourself and the responsibility with which you disclose, you have an above average intellect and a good heart. So my conclusion is that this lady is not good enough for you. You can do WAY better.

@OneBadYear Oh my gosh you have SOOOO much to grieve I don't know how you can even type straight, yet your spelling and grammar are frickin' perfect, haha. All is not lost! I have no words to even begin to address your pain but you've taken the first steps through it by posting this^^^. So let me step right through the interwebs and give you and your HSV divorced self a HUGE, WARM & LOVING EMBRACE for I am you, too.

Hello Everyone! I'm new to the site (1 week maybe?) and almost 2 years into my genital HSV diagnosis. My name says forgivenessandpeace more because that is my GOAL rather than my reality, for the moment. My intention is to harness GRACE and become even more awesomer than I could have been otherwise. Feel free to reach out to me and we will pull each other up and through this.

@willow @WCSDancer2010 @msmee Thanks for nudging some sense into me. I'm thinking that, in my zeal to protect his potential future victims, I'm somehow trying to make up for the fact that I didn't protect myself. Maybe I should start right here with myself :'-(

Hi @sweetfemme I also have moments of serious struggle after 2 years. One thing I have noticed is that during an OB I'm generally much darker than at other times. Your body's resources are being pulled and, well, you're sick; just like you feel rotten when you have the flu and it's hard to be positive. I took acyclovir with the initial outbreak nearly 2 years ago but only recently got a prescription from my dermatologist who instructed me to begin taking it at the first signs. And it works to keep the OB away. I have a friend who endured breast cancer and lost one of her breasts to that nasty disease. Who has it worse? I love my breasts. I'll take h over that. Cut yourself some slack, let yourself be sick with this ob, and then let yourself heal and feel awesome again :)

@Ashley Rooting for you! I wish you sooo much courage and self-confidence. Keep us posted!

If I put the name of my giver here, will his name show up on internet searches? Will it save any of the girls at Northeastern University, or anyone at all, from contracting this herpes infection from him?

If there were a like button on this side I'd be liking y'all, crazy HSV folk!

@kaylav Oh my gosh you have been 5 months without any support! Awww Sweetie, I'm so sorry you have to be facing this when you have so much more to face at this time. And gosh, your father's reaction was not the most supportive: "You bad girl! That's what you get" ... what... for having sex? I wish no one had to get this nasty virus. At the same time, I know people who have had to sacrifice their breasts to disease :( What I wish for you is that you put yourself FIRST, that you love yourself first and foremost, in all your beautifulness. Between you paying close attention to your body, and your immune system building up defenses, you will get this thing under control. Your boyfriend suffers the shame of HSV2. There is no more shame in carrying HSV2 as there is in carrying the chicken pox virus. The only shame is in not disclosing to partners who trust you. I know you won't do that. Light and love and hugs to you Kaylav!

@lisab so sorry to hear you're suffering. I still feel the devastation of my herpes result: it's a heartbreaking thing; maybe for all the wrong reasons but it's still a really hard thing to swallow.

@lou1981 I'm so, so sorry to hear of your initial OB from hell. It all sounds very familiar. I also contracted this nasty fucking virus via "the back door". I'm glad your doctor was able to diagnose it accurately: the proctologist I saw (because I also thought hemmoroids) did not think of that even though I told him that I'd given my lover a back stage pass. The problem is that the virus travels along the sacral nerve irritating it to the point where the nerve signals which normally allow you to void your bladder or move your bowels cannot function properly. I was in the emergency room twice to be catheterized because I COULD NOT PEE. First and foremost, take care of yourself physically. I felt extremely fatigued for about 1.5 months. Let your body rest. Your immune system is facing an onslaught of a cunning invader it just has no experience handling. Rest, eat the best quality food you've ever eaten (if you have an appetite), take care of your beautiful self. Are you taking acyclovir? It does help. So glad your BF is right there with you. I'm going to take the wild guess that you contracted this virus from him. He may be asymptomatic and thus have no idea he is a carrier. You may have learned by now that a "full screen" does NOT include a test for herpes. I know: WTF!! My giver denied it at first. Many months later I learned that he had an active blister that weekend he was enjoying my sweet ass. Feel free to message me to swap notes. I wish you rapid healing. Your immune system will get it under control shortly!

@Unbroken This is such an inspiring story. THANK YOU!

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your experience here. Jon Stewart had a lame herpes joke on his show the other day which gave me an idea as to how to "come out together" as I saw you mentioning in another thread. I'm also glad you shared about your daughter and her reaction. I've shared with a number of close family/friends: my mother (she said, "ah, you've been a bad girl" haha), my sister (love her), a cousin, by bestie GF and my bestie BF. Wow, I'm so lucky! It crossed my mind this morning to share with my 15 and 17-year-old kids, girl and boy respectively. I didn't do it partly because I don't want to burden them with that. (They will remember my initial OB because I went to the ER twice because I COULD NOT PEE. Yup: nasty fucking virus.) And I want to alert them before they go to college and off into life that some people might seem nice, you may even fall in love with them, but that won't stop them from doing unto you what you wouldn't FATHOM doing unto your enemies, let alone the ones you profess to love. :'-(