2Legit2Quit

Yep it is! Ignorance is bliss!

Yaaahh! So happy for you! Sorry I've been MIA on fb, but I decided I needed a sabbatical from fb, as the negativity and victimization becoming a trend, I couldn't deal w being on there. I'll be back on in a week or so, you can hit me up to chat if you want. I'll send you my number in pm on here if you wanna text. Keep me abreast w everything and congrats!

Have you been stressed ? Last weekend I was so stressed out and was a week off the meds and I itched all over, but never had an OB. Try soaking in nightly Epsom salt baths, until symptoms subside. Take your baths and put a heavy lotion, non sented on and see if that helps, if it is a dry issue.

Yeah, my biopsies turned up nothing either. In fact, they even tests that area for herpes through a biopsy and it wasn't! Go figure, I get genital herpes 13yrs later... If the burning is really bothering you, I'd ask to get put on Lyrica or Neurontin. I took Neurontin for my nerve pain from H during my primary and I had to take it for four months. It helped though, but it takes time to build in your system to reach full effect. Did you ever test for HSV 1 as well?

Go have it swabbed to be sure

Well I wouldn't assume it's an oral HSV 2 OB. Have you recently just caught HSV 2? Did you test positive for HSV 1 at all? Stress can cause the symptoms you just mentioned and I can tell you, my first oral OB from HSV 1 was only inside my mouth and it caused me a great amount of pain and I got very run down for days. I had no energy and felt like I just came out of anesthesia.

I sent this post to my best friend and asked if he had any advice to give. He said it wasn't the herpes, because he had planned on being w her forever, it was the betrayal and he said he never got over that. W that said, he did say that he was much younger and things bothered him then, that wouldn't bother him now older and wiser. I'm not sure your age, but as we age, priorities do shift. I too would be devastated by such, as that's a long secret to hold in. He actually said that he thinks it's worse for the person telling the lie and a lot more painful, because they're the ones who have to live w it every day. He said he doesn't necessarily blame someone who lies about it, because they fear the judgement and rejection that comes w it. I disagree w him on that one and said no amount of fear of rejection, judgement or whatever, could ever make me not disclose, but I understand we all are different. I think this situation makes it difficult to use judgement or discernment. Sometimes when we've been hurt, it can be very difficult to put ourselves in the other person's shoes (discernment) and try to see things from their point of view. Here's a couple of questions to ask yourself to try and not allow this to destroy your marriage and most importantly, YOU. * is he a good husband? * is he a good father? * before this discovery, did you see yourself w him forever? * is he a good man who takes care of you and your children's needs? * what made you fall in love w this man and think he was the one? * what feelings did you have the day you looked him in the eyes and said I do? * what are the things you love about him? Answer these questions for yourself, then I'm going to ask you to go to the section on this forum, about disclosure. I want you to read through at least 10 of the posts, so you can see the anxiety, torture, fear, loneliness, rejection and utter horror at the thought of disclosing causes people. Then I want you to go through those questions and answer them again and see if you can then put yourself in your husbands shoes, as hard as that may be. Now tell me how you feel and how your thoughts have changed. Hang in there, I know it's hard. Hey, my ex husband lied to me about his second child, until we'd been together for 8 months, oh and he dropped the bomb in Walmart. How f'ing whiskey tango is that? (White trash) ... Lol. Just hoped to get a little smile out of you w that one. Hugs!

Although I've never been in your situation, my best guy friend's ex wife had herpes and she didn't disclose until 3yrs after they've been together. They were together a total of 7, but it seemed like he never quite got over her lying about it and he never got it. It is possible to be w someone and never get it. I can't imagine the hurt and betrayal you're experiencing at this moment and I'd imagine even worse for you than my friend, because you weren't aware and had kids. It's honestly hard for me to understand how anyone can lie, especially for that long. Fear of rejection can be a powerful thing for some people, so much so that they will do what your husband did. For me getting H, there was never a choice in my mind to disclose or not. Once I got it, there was one option only and that was to always disclose. I have a hard time understanding someone not doing so and find it repulsive and nothing short of selfish. I think your husband and you going to see a therapist to work through this betrayal is your first step. Even if you do have it, you'll be OK;.. I can assure you that the betrayal and pain is worse than having H. Hang in there, keep your chin up, breathe and know that whatever the outcome, you'll be ok. Ill ask my friend what advice he can give on this, since he's been through it and see what he says. Hugs!

I'm not sure if you're sexually active, but when w my ex husband we used condoms and I kept getting severe itching, that was intolerable. They treated me over and over for either bv ir yeast, none of which I feel I had. In fact, to this very day, the very first spot that was itchy (too right crease between clitoris and outer labia) I still itch there and can't get any answers. I've had it biopsied multiple times and this all started 14yrs ago and it's still going on. The more I itch, the worse the itching gets.. I've googled linchen sclerosis and other stuff, and I can't seem to find Jack on it and what's the cause. it's like the constant irritation back then, caused misfiring of the nerves. That's amazing your mother is doing so well w it, after that many years. Seeking a rheumatologist or endocrinologist would be imperative in your situation. I wish you all the luck in the works getting a diag and getting things under control.

Yeah, that's what I was on too, but I never remember how to spell it, so I just go by the brand name. It can gave some nasty side effects, but for me, it was worth it, because I could go about my day and sit once again. Hang in there and let me know how things go. Are you taking it 3xs a day? It takes time to build up in your system, so it can take a week or two to get the full effects of it.

Oh yeah, I also saw an ENT regarding my throat dryness and her solution was then my fan off. Yeah, thanks lady.

You're not a burden in the least. I suffer from depression and anxiety as well, so it doesn't help when having autoimmune diseases. Hahaha! My friends would not describe me as a positive person! I laugh when people tell me that on here. I think it's just more that, I've been through that journey and deal w it, so what other choice do I have? I can let it defeat me daily or be at peace w it. I've had my moments, worrying about what this means for my future, as w one or more autoimmune diseases, more are sure to come and I've cried over the unknown and wondering how much longer I'll be able to do the things I love. My Sjogrens started actually w dry throat, which got worse when I laid down and I had to constantly drink water through out the night and felt as if someone was putting pressure on my throat. About a yr after diagnosis, my mouth and eyes (this past summer) became dry, even my nasal cavity was so dry it hurt, during a very stressful period at work. My nasla cavity stopped bothering me about a month later, but the mouth and eyes persisted. I also was experiencing hot flashes and an irregular period when my symptoms first were noticeable and I was 32. They all said my thyroid hormones were good, but my rheumatologist is the one who cqughtth high antibody count against my thyroid and said I was in full blown thyroid autoimmune failure. Sjogrens can cause a LOT of issues, including skin abnormalities and even cause life complicated issues w organs. I pretty much stopped reading about Sjogrens, because it was upsetting to say the least w how bad it can get. Aches and pain in the body are one, like joints, depression, anxiety, nerve disease.. Sometimes I wonder if the reason my nerves got so messed up from H, is because of my Sjogrens. I can't even control H well at all, even if I take 2000mlgs if valtrex a day, because of my autoimmune diseases. I quit my meds two weeks ago and while I experienced more paresthesia than usual and skin change at the bottom V of my opening, I've not had any obs. Just the first week some tenderness where I last got one and I noticed the aching and tenderness in my butt Bone's seem more prevalent, but I wanted to see how this new drug LDN helps w out valtrex. Some autoimmune diseases cause genetic markers that make you predisposed to them, when exposed to certain environmental factors, they can be triggered. My mother has hypothyroidism and endometriosis and type 1 diabetes. I'm the only one in the family that has the other issues. Ask your mother if she's heard of LDN. It has shown massive improvement in symptoms for those w MS and PD. Like those w MS who couldn't walk anymore, are walking again on LDN. It has shown regression in disease and put it into remission and this drug is nontoxic, doesn't cause adverse side effects and isn't damaging like other drug's for MS. Here is a pod cast or you can read the interview of a doc who prescribes it and breaks it done Barney style, for people to understand it. It also blocks the cells that release inflammation in our CNS and peripheral sensory neurons, which I'm hoping will help my H symptoms. It also modulates and boosts the immune system. http://chriskresser.com/low-dose-naltrexone-ldn-as-a-treatment-for-autoimmune-disease/

I can ONLY imagine. It took a lot of persistence and almost a yr, to finally get diagnosed w autoimmune diseases. GYNO and GPs just blew me off, so I went to see a rheumatologist. Keep in mind, sometimes tests won't show in the blood you have it and can be diagnosed by symptoms alone. Autoimmune disease's that is, not H. My rheumatologist told me a third of her patients are diagnosed by symptoms, as tests can only help so much w diagnosis. My blood tests didn't indicate Sjogrens, but I had classic symptoms and Sjogrens, especially in beginning stages, can come in flares during stressful times. Some days were worse than others. Since starting a drug that works miracles on those w AI, especially MS and PD, I'm already after less than two weeks and lowest dose possible, starting to produce more saliva again and tears, so it's obvious despite my blood results, I had Sjogrens. Don't give up finding answers. I know all too well how draining it can be, but eventually you'll get some.

He could always go done on you w saran wrap to get you off, if things are uncertain down there.

If he took it well, would you mind sharing your disclosure story and put it under successful disclosures? We need all the successful stories we can get.

Yep, we often do that tok ourselves. We're our own worst enemies.

@chikitta13 shockingly, we've had a few go to PP and be turned away, because they've never had an OB. That's why instead of risking being turned away, that a little harmless white lie as such, is just ensuring you don't have to potentially deal w that and have to find somewhere else to go.

Take this from someone who is pretty much always active... I've touched myself down there plenty, even w hang nails, which I try to be cautious of and have not gotten herpes Whitlow in my fingers. Also. I have autoimmune disease's and they can cause really strange thing's w your body. My best friend has kupus and Sjogrens. She has gotten cankera inside her mouth and I believe it was from Sjogrens. Do you have dry mouth or eye's by chance?

I think saran wrap is better than the dental dam, because that's just a square and it seems thicker. The Saran wrap can be used to stick to your stomach and buttock, so he doesn't have to hold it in place and is much thinner. It still feels pretty good, obviously not as good.

Great wisdom and advice to share! You're doing great!

For me I noticed a pattern w my itches, such as same spot or when under lots of stress.. That's how I determined it.

When ever you feel prodrome, which that's what that is, our rule of thumb is that it's shedding and you're contagious. It may help you to journal symptoms daily, location, etc, triggers, so you can learn your body and get more comfortable. That was the only way I learned to stop obsessing.

The exact same thing happened to me during my primary.. About a week to a week in half after initial symptoms, I developed severe neuropathy, despite already being on valtrex for 5 days at that point. It got so bad, I felt like a burn victim and couldn't sit or lie on my back. Could barely handle clothes touching me, so I went to the ER and requested nerve pain meds called Neurontin. I had to take it four four months. To this day, a yr n half later, it's never been quite the same. Hard surfaces are very uncomfortable for me, but I don't have pain anymore. My nerve pain didn't come back like that, but I'd say w recurrents, that my butt Bone's and tailbone would have mikd discomfort and sitting on a stool or hard surface was a no go. I also had the same issue w voiding urine. The nerves that control the contracting of the bladder, can be affected by H during the primary. I'd say it took me about two weeks to completly void. Try sitting in a hot bath and see if that helps.

Yeah.. the virus if it did happen to be on there, would not have survived that long on your PJs. You dont have anything to worry about.

girl, i sported a 70s bush for like 4 months or longer after diagnosis, because I had such frequent obs. LOL... you get used to it..