HikingGirl

P.S. If you’re a single mom to five kids, you’re tougher than herpes. :) Whether this is an outbreak or a different issue entirely, it’s hard to be strong about anything when you’re having chronic pain. {{{hugs}}}

Hi, @elizabethvictorious. First of all, I’m sorry about the loss of your parents. Whether that happened a year ago or 10+ years ago, it’s understandable it would really weigh on you today. {{{hugs}}} Do you know what kind of blood test you had done? IgM tests are notoriously unreliable and their results should be discarded. If you had an IgG test done (the right kind of test), and the index value (the numerical value) was over 3.5, then the positive result is definitive. I would start by asking your doctor to see the actual lab report so you can see which test you had done. I would also let your doctor try swabbing the affected area. If the sores are inside, you might get enough for a sample. It’s worth a shot, IMHO. The blood tests don’t tell you where on your body you have the virus, only that you have it. The majority of adults have HSV1 (more commonly oral, but genital HSV1 is increasingly common). The more I’ve learned—while scary initially—the better I’ve felt. If you haven’t seen this handbook, I think it’s a great place to start for basic, accurate information: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ I sincerely hope you’re able to find some relief from your symptoms soon. Hopefully with the help of your doctor, you can get to the bottom of this!

You’ve come a long way in 24 days, @RegularGuy! Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

Hi, @Goofymovie. It’s maddening, but there really are a million things that could cause what you describe. Your best bet is to see a doctor and get an IgG blood test. Just keep in mind that it can take up to 16 weeks for individuals with the virus to test positive on a blood test because some people make antibodies (what the tests actually test for) quicker than others. You could also ask your doctor to swab the bumps you describe. That’s usually more helpful if they’re open sores. Sometimes when it’s just a bump, the swab won’t be able to collect enough of a sample to detect the virus. If you haven’t see this handbook, it’s a quick read and was written by a herpes expert: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/.

Hi, @PaintedToes, and welcome! 1. Genital HSV2 lives in a group of nerves at the base of your spine. While many people commonly have outbreaks in the same area, it is possible to get outbreaks anywhere in the boxer shorts region—just depends on the nerve pathways the virus decides to take to exit the body. 2. I don’t know. Is it possible the new sores on your butt isn’t herpes? If they’re still there (and open) or if they come back, you might consider asking your doctor to swab them. It could be a totally different issue. 3. Most people use the word outbreak, whether we’re talking about a little redness or a single bump, or oozing sores. Rest assured, we know what you mean! :) 4. Which antiviral are you taking? When I initially tried Valtrex, the doc told me to take one 500 mg pill per day for suppression. I’m currently on acyclovir, for which my doc told me to take a 400 mg pill twice a day for suppression. I bet you could find typical doses with a google search. 5. If you feel the daily suppression therapy has made things worse, there’s no harm in stopping to see if it clears up. You might also try switching antivirals. I’ve seen a number of people on here (myself included) say that their body tends to prefer one antiviral over another and work better.

I hear ya. It still hurts....I can’t deny that! The guy I was seeing when I was first diagnosed (turns out by then I’d had it a couple of decades but was unaware) was really supportive at first, but once he tested negative, he just kind of faded away and we never had sex again. So as much as my mind knows and understands that some people view risk differently than I do (hell, even I view risk differently now that I’m aware I have HSV!), that some people think they have a lot more control over the circumstances of their life than they really do, and that I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea so it makes sense that not everyone will be willing to take the risk of acquiring HSV from me, rejection doesn’t hurt any less. It’s just my hope I’ll bounce back a little quicker when it does happen. I’m counting on someone in this forum to remind me of all of this when I start dating again and get rejected. :)

It’s from the time of exposure (not outbreak). Some people will develop enough antibodies to test positive in less than two weeks post exposure, but it’s not until nearly the 16 week mark that virtually everyone with the virus would test positive on a blood test for it.

A lot of times logic just isn't enough for people. Specially when you disrupt their false since of security. Love this. So true!!

When I start dating again (right now my focus is on end of life care for my very old dog and selling my house once he’s gone), here’s what I will remind myself of: I eventually came to realize that even with herpes, I am worthy of love and connection. The physical impact is negligible and manageable. There are many things in life that are outside of my control (like giving or getting herpes). For the right person/people, I will be worth the risk. For those who reject me, I’ve really lost nothing, because thanks to divorce and herpes, I’ll never put my happiness in the hands of anyone else ever again. Herpes has changed my perspective on so many things—all of them for the better. {{{hugs}}}

Welcome, @heisen. Many of us can relate to how you are feeling! We’re happy to listen and are glad you are here.

For the IgG, the index value was 44 something for HSV1 and 3.27 for HSV2. I did have the western blot done and it confirmed I have both types.

Yes. IgM tests are not reliable.

You’re correct...we did not use condoms. We were married for 15 years and dated a year prior to getting married. I have no explanation for why he didn’t get either strain from me all those years. Great immune system, maybe? Or maybe luck!

There are a lot of unknowns with HSV. About a year after my divorce, I unexpectedly fell into a long-distance fling, first having sex around Christmas 2015. I had no reason to think I had herpes. I was tested for STDs before I got married and was negative. I had no reason to think my ex was unfaithful. I never experienced any sores. By late January, I went in for a routine Pap smear and spontaneously asked for an STI panel for good measure to start this new relationship with a clean slate. I tested positive for HSV1 and HSV2. My ex later tested negative for both (as did the new beau), so I had been walking around with both strains for 18-25 years and had absolutely no idea. I also had no idea that there were no good herpes tests when I got married, nor did I know it’s usually not tested for. It’s just the luck of the draw that my nurse practitioner included it in the panel. Like the girl you’ve been seeing, I had no idea you could have herpes with no symptoms (or symptoms so mild they mimic other things like yeast infections, jock itch, or ingrown hairs). So barely six weeks after first having sex with Mr. Long-Distance, I found out I have HSV. Ignorance is pretty common with this virus (god knows I was ignorant). If your gut is telling you that something is not adding up, I suspect that nothing she could say will change that.

I got symptoms 9/1 and got tested immediately, got my results 9/7, my ex wouldn’t get tested until tomorrow. Is it possible for me to develop antibodies only 3-5 days after being with my ex (assuming he is the one who infected me)?? Or do you think I had this before and it just became active after sex with my ex? Is it possible to test negative on IGG if I’ve been a carrier but asymptomatic? I got tested 2 years ago and was negative. Hi, @jdakota84. I’m sorry to read that you’re experiencing so much pain. I’m afraid can’t speak to your physical symptoms as I have not had a similar experience, but I do hope that your symptoms start to improve very soon. It’s possible to acquire herpes and show symptoms within 3-5 days of having sex with someone. Whether or not your body develops antibodies that quickly is another story—I don’t know. What we do know is that some people develop antibodies quickly, but it can take up to 16 weeks for everyone who has herpes to develop enough antibodies to test positive on the IgG blood test. It is possible to have the virus for a long time with no symptoms, then to have a noticeable outbreak years later. It definitely happens. The blood tests cannot tell you *where* you have the virus, only that you have it. For example, I tested positive on the IgG (and later the western blot) for HSV1 and HSV2. I’ve never had a cold sore, and my genital outbreaks are so mild that the swab tests come back inconclusive. I’ll probably never know for sure where I have each type of virus, so I just remind myself that statistically speaking, it’s most likely that I have oral HSV1 and genital HSV2. Since you've already tested positive for both types by blood test, I’m afraid there’s no way to know when you acquired the viruses or from whom unless every one of your partners (since your last negative test) tests negative except for one person. Generally speaking, its not possible to test negative on the IgG but still have the virus. I say generally, because Terri Warren says the IgG has a false negative rate for HSV2 of 2% and a false negative rate of 9% for HSV1. The swab tests are very accurate.

The transmission of genital HSV2 requires skin-to-skin genital contact. It’s a good idea to use separate towels when you’re having an active outbreak as viruses like warm, moist environments. Aside from that, I’ve never even heard of transmission through bathwater...it sounds very unlikely. Have you seen this handbook? It’s a great source of basic information about HSV that’s easy to read: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ {{{hugs}}}

Hi, @helloholabonjour. I think you’ll enjoy Warren’s book. It’s thorough, straightforward, and really informative. In response to your questions and to the best of my knowledge.... 1. Maybe, maybe not.....everyone is different. Virtually no one gets a zero on the IgG just because of the way the test is run (that’s explained better in Warren’s book). 2. Yes, the ELISA is a good test. 3. Yes, wait a couple of months and retest. I know it’s excruciating not to know, but try to keep in mind that a red pimple on your penis does not always equal herpes. There are a million things that cause skin inflammation. FWIW, most cases of herpes transmission happen within the first three months of a relationship. 4. That’s a judgement call only you can make. Personally speaking, if you want to continue seeing this girl, I say enjoy the oral. Transmission of oral HSV2 to the genitals is very rare. You’ll learn more in the book, but the majority of adults in this country have oral HSV1, which is far more likely to be transmitted to the genitals, yet no one is stopping the action to ask, “Hey, have you ever had cold sores or been tested for HSV1?” 5. Again, only you can answer this one. In reading your post and seeing how concerned you are, perhaps it would help to ask yourself what you would want if you were the “anyone else.” No matter how it pans out, I think it’s really awesome that you’re willing to get educated about herpes so that you can make better decisions in the future about what kinds of risks you’re willing to take (or not take).

I think this is a common fear that most of us have felt at one time or another. In response to a question about when the right time to disclose is, I once heard @Adrial suggest asking yourself, “Do I trust this person with my vulnerability?” I always loved that answer, and think it applies every bit as much to family and friends as it does to potential partners. I’ve told just three people (outside of medical professionals and my therapist): a friend and a lover whom I absolutely trusted with my vulnerability, plus my ex-husband. I can’t say I trust my ex with my vulnerability, but since I had a feeling I probably acquired HSV before our 15 year marriage and we had only been divorced a year, I felt morally obligated to tell him. That was over a year ago, and if he has told anyone, it hasn’t come back to me. (Btw, he tested negative.) I will also add that it’s been my experience that the more I come to fully accept myself with HSV, the less I give a shit about what anyone else thinks. :) {{{hugs}}}

Is it possible that the sense of betrayal stems not from whether or not she had her test results back yet, but because she knew a previous partner has HSV, she knew she had just gotten tested for it, and she chose not to tell you that HSV was a possibility but the results were still pending?

That’s great! Check back with us down the road and let us know how you’re doing. If you still experience some itching, try wetting a cotton square with a little water then add 2-3 drops tea tree oil on it and wipe the affected area. That always helped me a lot.

Hi, @Harley2468 and welcome! To start, I highly recommend this handbook for some solid, basic information on HSV: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ (the author has a full book available on Amazon). You’re most likely to spread HSV to other parts of your body if you’re touching open lesions and then touching elsewhere without washing your hands, especially in the first few months after acquiring the virus. HSV is killed on contact with soap, so just be sure to wash your hands after touching any sores, etc. Do you know which type you have? If not, call the doctor’s office and ask about which test you had and what the exact results were. That’s really helpful information to have going forward. No need to stop kissing unless you have a cold sore on your mouth. The majority of adults have oral HSV1, even if they never have a cold sore! Life is WAY too short to give up kissing. :) Transmitting without an outbreak is called asymptomatic shedding, described in the handbook I linked to above. It’s totally fine to hug and touch your loved ones as long as you’re washing your hands after touching any outbreaks. Condoms and antivirals reduce the chances of transmission to someone who doesn’t already have HSV. Most people have at least one strain, but most people also have no idea because most people don’t have recognizable symptoms. The handbook also goes into more detail on that. Finally, getting to a more positive attitude takes some time. I personally found it very helpful to get educated about HSV, speak to a therapist a few times, told a trusted friend, try to be good to myself (eating well, exercise, getting enough sleep, etc.) and reading a lot on these forums! It really helps to hear the experiences of others and know I’m not alone. I also experienced the typical stages of grief, but eventually it just really settled in my brain and my soul that I am just fine. I am more than a virus, and HSV isn’t not going to stop me from having a fabulous life—only my own beliefs will do that! {{{{hugs}}}}

They’re different tests. Although the IgMs are commonly used still, experts say they are notoriously unreliable and those results should be ignored. Don’t base any conclusion from the IgM. Insist on an IgG.

Swab tests are quite accurate (provided the sore is bad enough to get a sample from), so i would think chances are that the infection is relatively new. I can’t tell you for sure, but it’s something you could ask your doctor about. It’s also possible you’ve had asymptomatic HSV for years, and the sore you had last spring was something else entirely. Many times, we just don’t know where we got HSV or when. It’s kind of maddening, but it just is what it is. The only way to know if it’s a new infection is if you have a positive swab test and a negative blood test at the same time (because it takes time to develop enough antibodies to test positive on a blood test). I think you really just need to use your judgment on how far back to tell partners. I felt obligated to tell the guy I was seeing at the time of my diagnosis, plus my ex-husband since we were married for 15 years. I had five partners before him, any one of which could have given me HSV 20+ years ago and I’m not in touch with, so I didn’t tell them. Trust your judgement. :)

If you’re having an outbreak, I would definitely increase the dosage. 400 mg 2x/day is standard maintenance/prevention. For an outbreak, my doc told me to take 1 pill (400 mg) 3-5 times per day for 5-7 days. It works best if you start taking that higher dosage the moment you think you’re developing an outbreak. I never experienced a primary outbreak, so I can’t speak from experience, but I’ve seen others say the primary ob can sometimes last several weeks, or you may get more than one ob successively. Here’s to hoping you get some relief very soon!

I had very frequent prodrome symptoms with Valtrex. Long story, but I acquired both strains of HSV 20+ years ago but wasn't diagnosed until last year. My symptoms were so mild I mistook them for yeast infections. But once I realized what an outbreak looked like for me, as mild as they were, I continued to get them on Valtrex. I took a break from antivirals for a few months. After about two months on acyclovir, I realized I didn't have the itching that seemed so chronic for me for years and years. It's been nine months now and not only have I not had an outbreak, my itching is 95% gone and I feel fabulous. I have not experienced any side effects. Acyclovir is also cheaper, so that's a bonus.