HikingGirl

I have. I answered your question over in this other thread: https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/8587/one-year-later#latest

Thanks for sharing that information about how easy it was for you to get the test, @camilo. I'm sure that will help many others! When I was reading up on the western blot and low IgG scores, I thought I remembered reading that the IgG does a pretty darn good job of picking up HSV2 in general--with the caveat that some of the lowest index values are false positives. I swear I also read that the IgG misses a significant percentage of HSV1. I don't remember the statistic, but it was significant enough that I was surprised by it. I'll have to see if I can find where I read that. I don't remember if you experienced obvious lesions/outbreaks or not. How does it feel to finallly have some answers?

I was diagnosed at age 42....my health care provider is one of the rare ones that actually DOES include it in an STD panel. But I acquired it 18-25 years earlier (sometime between losing my virginity and getting married, because both my ex-husband and the one partner I had since my divorce tested negative).

^^^^^^^^ Awesome comment!

I have, but they're mild enough that I didn't know what they were for a very long time. I definitely experienced a lot of itching over the years, which I thought was just due to yeast infections. (Now that I've been on acyclovir about 7 months and the itching it nearly gone, I'm realizing it's likely related to HSV.) I can also remember a few times I had redness in one area in the inner fold of my labia that was tender to the touch and stung when the water from the shower hit it. I'd look and look and look and all I'd see is the tiniest bit of redness which I attributed to sex or who knows what. I only remember a couple of those, but I think it's because I had more and I just didn't really notice them amidst discomfort from yeast infections or itching. Once I was diagnosed, and was really watching and paying attention and knew about prodrome symptoms, I realized I was getting super mild outbreaks most months. Last fall (after stopping Valtrex and before starting acyclovir) I actually found one raised bump. It was the first one I've ever noticed.

Welcome, @K3426! I also found this forum shortly after diagnosis, but was too distraught to post or do much reading until months later. I also felt really alone at first, and it was excruciating. If you have access through insurance or an EAP program at work to see a therapist, just taking to someone who is not judgmental and is skilled at listening can feel pretty amazing, IMHO. I was in a pretty dark place for a good while, and when I finally decided that I could either shrivel up and die or find a way to move on, I found two things really helpful....(1) educating myself about herpes (this handbook is a great place to start: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/) and (2) giving myself permission to grieve (How to Survive the Loss of a Love was on my nightstand for ages....it really applies to any kind of loss). I'm about 18 months post-diagnosis now and feel better than ever. You will find your own path! One thing is for sure, you are not alone. We're happy to listen or answer questions or support you in any way we can. {{hugs}}

Thanks for sharing! :) I also agree with you wholeheartedly. Accepting ourselves is huge.

Welcome, @MountainDog. If you haven't read the handbook at this link (https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/). It is an easy read and covers all of your questions in a much clearer way than I ever could! She also discusses disclosure a bit, although I think you'll find more real-life experiences in the disclosure categories of these forums (see the sidebar at the left of your screen.

.... as I told her, I still would have married her knowing she had HSV-2. We will deal with this together and forever. Thanks again. You're very welcome. And thank YOU for (a) reaching out for information, and (b) sharing your comments with us. There are many, many people on these forums who need to hear that HSV is not a deal breaker for every future relationship.

No doubt it is very scary to leave something when you think you'll never have anything resembling it ever again. If I recall correctly, your diagnosis was fairly recent, and I believe the fears you're having about dating, disclosing, or not feeling sexy and confident are very normal. There's a drawing I've seen describing "Life in 3 Acts". The first figure is a smiling person holding a blue vase. The next figure is a frowning person whose vase has fallen to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. The third figure is a smiling person holding a beautiful blue mosaic. I just love the analogy. Not only is it a universal experience, but as much as the present moment may really suck, it doesn't mean there's nothing better to come. When I was married, I spent a good number of years not wanting to be married, but not pulling the plug because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to manage on my own or find anything better. Boy, was I ever wrong! Want to know what's even better than feeling trapped in a relationship? Being single and actually loving and honoring myself!! An unexpected benefit of learning to love myself and honoring my wants and needs has been that it has totally changed how I view myself with herpes. It's a process. Just start where you are. {{hugs}}

:)!!!!!!!!!!

There's so much truth to your comment, @Lollyann76. I feel like a non-romantic herpes disclosure has been on the horizon for a while now...just waiting for the right opportunity. (Plus there's just not that many people I'd share really personal information with, no matter the topic.) The more that time passes, the more I feel annoyed about how common this is and no one talks about it, then I start telling myself, "Well, K, no reason to wait for someone else to start talking about it wen *you* can start that conversation!" I can absolutely see how it would help prepare for romantic disclosures.

Hi, @ForgivingSoul. It's absolutely possible and it happens more often than you'd think! I was diagnosed with HSV1 and HSV2 about a year after my divorce, when I started dating someone. I told my ex-husband and the new beau, and they both tested negative for both strains. That means I acquired herpes 18-25 years before getting my diagnosis and I had absolutely no clue all those years. I also did not use condoms or antivirals (obviously, since I didn't know I had HSV) for 15 years with my ex and he still tested negative. I have zero recollection of any kind of primary outbreak. In hindsight, I believe I was attributing my mild herpes outbreaks to yeast infections, which were also common for me. My biggest symptom is just some itching. Every few years the water from the shower would sting when I sprayed my genitals. I'd get out the mirror and look and look and look....but could only see the faintest bit of redness in the fold of my labia. Last year, I actually developed a single bump. I nearly passed out because I had never had a bump before. And it was only a mild irritation, so had this happened before my diagnosis, I may have never noticed it because I wasn't checking myself visually. 87% of those with genital HSV2 either have no symptoms at all, or their symptoms are so mild that they attribute them to other things. Herpes is also not routinely tested for with other STDs. So to answer your question, yes, it's possible. Not everyone has a primary outbreak, the frequency of outbreaks (if they happen at all) varies widely by individual, and there are people who have a visible, noticeable outbreak for the first time years after acquiring the virus. Also, HSV is not reserved for the promiscuous or the cheaters out there. It's been around for thousands of years and it's possible to acquire it from your very first sexual encounter or even when using a condom. One of my favorite resources out there is this brief handbook. (I also highly recommend the author's full book.). https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ One last note.....I sincerely hope your healthcare provider is well-informed about herpes. Sadly, many are not (including the nurse practitioner who diagnosed me and the experiences of countless others on these forums). HSV is seen as a non-issue in the medical community because it's common, you can't prevent the transmission entirely, and it's not a serious threat to one's health. That's why I'm a fan of Terri Warren's book. She is a nurse practitioner who not only studied HSV, but ran her own STD clinic for over 20 years.

Hi, @yamahjam. I've had more than my fair share of yeast infections over the years! Since I acquired HSV decades before being diagnosed with it, I can see now that I attributed my mild symptoms of a herpes outbreak to a a yeast infection. I'm convinced, that for me, the monthly hormonal changes related to my cycle can be triggers for both yeast infections and herpes outbreaks. When I switched from Valtrex to acyclovir earlier this year (not because my outbreaks really even needed meds, but because I wanted to find an antiviral I tolerated well for when I start dating again), I was shocked to realize how much of the itching and other symptoms I attributed to yeast infections went away. If I do get a mild yeast infection, I've found boric acid to be a godsend and a little bit of coconut oil for the itching helps a ton. @newtothis2017, from what I've read of other posters experiences, it's common for a new infection with noticeable symptoms to come and go frequently for the first few months. Hang in there! Symptoms for anyone with HSV1 or HSV2 can really be all over the map. I went 20+ years with no clue whatsoever that I had it. I had some itching pretty regularly, and every few years I'd feel a bit of tenderness or stinging if water hit certain parts in the shower, but I never saw a bump until last fall. My outbreaks aren't severe enough to swab, so I don't know for sure where I have HSV1 and where I have HSV2, but statistically speaking, it's most likely that I have oral HSV1 with no symptoms and genital HSV2 with mild symptoms. When it comes to the index values on IgG tests, <.0.9 is negative, 0.9 to 1.1 is equivocal (unclear/gray area--recommend retesting) and >1.1 is positive. However, there is a fairly good chance of false positives for index values between 1.1 and 3.5. (My index value for HSV2 was only 3.27 and I later tested positive with a western blot.) Since the IgG test is measuring antibodies (not the virus itself), a low index value may also mean that someone has a brand new infection and their body is still building antibodies. Once you're definitively positive, there is no special meaning to your index value. Since I acquired HSV2 18-25 years before ever being diagnosed with it (which I know because my ex husband tested negative, as did a guy I was seeing at the time I got my diagnosis), I'm a good example of how having a higher index value doesn't necessarily equate with having had the virus a long time. Did you ever test positive with a swab test?

I'm happy to hear it helped you, @WideAwaeke17. Just last Thursday when I was at the gym, I thought yet again of how I never would have survived the past 18 months without exercise. Even today, while I doubt I'll ever be thrilled about having herpes, I can't deny that it's one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I desperately needed to learn what it has taught me, and if I had a choice, I'd never go back to the person I was before my diagnosis. {{hugs}}

I've been trying it for about 6-8 months now and have not noticed a difference, so when I run out in a few days I won't buy more. Early studies done in a lab were promising, but later studies in humans did not show a benefit (I'm paraphrasing from Terri Warren's book). If it seems to help someone with outbreaks, it can't hurt to take it. However, lysine does not reduce transmission, so it has no protective benefit for your partner. Only antivirals and condoms do that.

p.s. Most doctors don't test for herpes, so I'd be especially curious to get hard copies of all lab results for you and your husband so you can see with your own eyes that (1) you were even tested for it, (2) you got the right test done each time, and (3) your index value on this most recent test is definitely over 1.1. Even values between 1.1 and 3.5 have a chance of being false positives.

I would ask for copies of the lab work of your previous tests. The first thing I would do is confirm you had an IgG test before getting married. IgM tests are notoriously unreliable. The second possibility is that the IgG test does a good job of picking up HSV2 (much more so than HSV1), but it can and does miss a few, resulting in false negatives. Third, I would also look at your most recent test to see what kind of test was done and what the index values for all of these tests were. Looking at the lab reports is (IMHO) the best place to start.

IMHO, unless you know for sure it's *not* a herpes outbreak, it seems risky. Condoms do not completely prevent transmission, and an active outbreak makes transmission far more likely.

It does, but I don't think the virus works that way. It's true sex can be a trigger for some, but aside from that, outbreaks are determined by our own bodies and our individual immune systems. It sounds like his body has a good handle on things. :)

I love it, @Lollyann76.....you're on a roll! I appreciate you saying that it gets easier and you get more confidence with practice and by facing it head on. I often get caught up in thinking I have to prepare myself to death for something so it will go perfectly. When in reality, it will take some practice for me to get good at and comfortable with disclosure. I also love it that you mentioned you're gaining confidence even if it doesn't lead to a relationship. AND I love hearing how you're becoming more open with discussing herpes with people like your mom and the store clerk. Hearing your experiences is so encouraging to me!

Statistically speaking, it's much more likely that he has oral HSV1 since that type prefers the mouth. I have both strains (1 and 2) and since my genital outbreaks aren't severe enough to to get conclusive results from a swab test and I've never had a cold sore, I'm just guessing I have oral HSV1 and genital HSV2 but there's no way to be certain without an outbreak. That's just the most statistically likely scenario. Btw, only about a third of those with oral HSV1 ever get a cold sore. For some reason I'm fascinated by that statistic! Terri Warren says that if you have an established infection....as in, your boyfriend has had HSV1 for a while...getting it in another part of the body is highly unlikely. Conceptually possible, but highly unlikely.

3.27

The good news is that you have every reason to not be scared anymore! There is not a chance in hell you are you going to get herpes from a toilet seat. ZERO chance. Once you have an established infection, you're not going to spread HSV1 from your mouth to your genitals unless you rub an open oozing sore and immediately start rubbing your genitals. Even then, transmission is not a given because your body has been making antibodies for years and you're on Valtrex to boot. I have HSV1 and HSV2 and had both for a good 20 years before I ever learned I had it. That's 20 years of touching myself and I never spread it elsewhere! The one thing you do need to be aware of is that it is possible to give your boyfriend genital HSV1 by giving him oral sex or oral HSV1 through kissing. Even then, it's a verylow risk because you're on antivirals and oral HSV1 does not shed often.

For what it's worth, since you have an established HSV-1 infection orally, it's very unlikely to get the same strain genitally (and that's assuming your partner even had HSV1 orally). Conceptually, it's possible, just very unlikely. If you and your partner have never had any kind of sexual contact with anyone else, then I fail to see any reason you would have concern for HSV2.