The doctor's reaction was the worst part. My story in case it happens to someone else

[caterpillarmonarch]

I want to share this story just in case someone else has a similar situation and can know they aren't alone.

 

I found out I had 1 & 2 after a routine test before starting to become intimate with my boyfriend. I was at work when the call came. The nurse simply said "Your results came back and you have herpes." "What??? What does that mean?," I asked. "You have herpes," she repeated. After doing this a couple of times and getting no better response, I said "I think I need to come in." She said ok, but there weren't any appointments available that day and I'd have to wait til the next day.

 

I hung up and immediately called the front desk. I asked if they had any appointments available today and they said they had two (what the hell????). I took one of those.

 

When I got to the office, the front desk woman, who is always very kind, checked me in and then said "Sweetie, you look terrible [i'm always very polished], are you ok? Is it because of your test results?" I immediately burst into tears. She said "It's ok, it's not as bad as you think. It'll be ok."

 

They then left me in the waiting room, sobbing. When the nurse called me back, she showed no heart at all, not even offering me a tissue as I continued to sob through the vitals check.

 

The NPA was who I was able to get in to. She's known for being "softer" than my doctor, but she's also very conservative/religious. And, I should mention, I'm in Texas. She came in and said "Well, I'm not going to be able to tell you anything new. Here's your results," and handed me the test results. I kept asking questions and getting very surface level answers about "You will always be shedding the virus" and "We don't know how long you've had this. We don't test STD's during your annual unless you ask," etc.

 

But the phrase that will stick with me for a long time was when I said something about a lot of people, I'd read, have it. Her response "This is what happens when people screw like rabbits." Ouch.

 

Anyway, since then, I've found a specialist who took the time to answer all of the questions I'd written down to ask him. He was very kind and reassured me that this wasn't my fault, that it didn't mean I was promiscuous, and that a lot of people had it. This site has also helped significantly (thank you!).

 

So, if something like this happens to you, please know you are not alone and that some doctors are just biased jerks.

 

[Beachdude1984]

Wow that was totally unprofessional! Not to mention the lack of compassion and sympathy..

 

We I brought up my herpes issue to my general practitioner, he turned red and got flustered.. He was obviously very uncomfortable talking about herpes. It's not a very reassuring feeling when our medical professionals have these sorts of reactions to our issues.

[Cecibuendia]

hey @caterpillarmonarch thats HORRIBLE that u say... i LIVED a similar situation and no 1 .. twice ...the first time when i went to the gyno ( i had 4 years in a new city) well she saw me and she lost the control...she said me.. ohh Darling ( with bad and dissgusting face) i think u have HERPES... and i dont know i was listen about herpes but only the supperficial .. I didnt know it was forever..and I began to cry and i almost fainted.. she said to me.. i only had sex with 2 men... you have to be carefull... she gave me a treament for inffection and she said me if you get better maybe u dont have herpes 2 days after i was really fine she said me.. aww is ok ( never she did me a example for H only for HPV adn everything was ok)

 

i was son HAPPY so relaxing but 3 months after.. H came..

 

i vist other gyno and the same shit.. she saw me like a trash so so hard for me and she only said u have to take aciclovyr... and nothing more.. no hopes no nothing...

 

i think all these experiences made me into a depressed person... i never forgot that faces... its so HARD..but we have to try to go ahead... and be stronge.. is sad that a lot of people are no idea about H.. so sad..

[Cecibuendia]

ohh @inka.. i wish to find a good therapist like you

[WCSDancer2010]

But the phrase that will stick with me for a long time was when I said something about a lot of people, I'd read, have it. Her response "This is what happens when people screw like rabbits." Ouch.

 

That is sooooo unprofessional ... but you need to call them up and thank them for giving you an excuse to find a BETTER more COMPASSIONATE doctor.

 

We are working on changing this kind of thing here. I am hoping to have a questionaire out soon which we hope will give us the info we need to affect change with the CDC, Doctors, and Researchers. I hope you will take part and make sure to give a brief description where appropriate about your experience ... we need this info to show that the CDC's policies and lack of helpful, accurate info and testing is causing a LOT of mental anguish that they are ignoring :( Watch your email - I hope we will have the survey out soon :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[caterpillarmonarch]

Thanks everyone! I hope, if someone else has this experience, they see my post.

 

@ WCSDancer2010: I'd be happy to help!

[hdiari3s]

Went to my new therapist yesterday and she says "wait if he used a condom, how did you catch this? So I explained about the skin to skin contact transmission. She goes on to say she has several clients who has contracted this and never heard of skin to skin contact so I explain about transmission again and she just looks at me strangely and changes the topic. How can I continue to see a therapist that doesnt even ACT as if she believes me. I agree with dancer, the professionals definitely need to be educated. Then she prescribed st. Johns worts for me to help with the anxiety and depression and my research shows me that it has links to infertility which scares me to death. I bring this up to her and once again she has never heard of this and says if you dont treat your depression you may not have children anyway do to herpes lesions on your cervix since you arent treating ur anxiety and depression. Ive come to the conclusion that at times we will be much more educated that the people we seek for help. Its sad but I guess if we remain aware of this it will make it easier to find a provider that will be helpful.

[txguy23]

Hi,

 

Do you know what the test was called that they performed on you to verify you were HSV1/2 positive? If it was an IGG type specific test, what was your IGG levels dictated on your test? I would just do a Western Blot as a confirmatory test if you havent. Anyhow, I was told I was positive for HSV2 with a 4.11 IGG on the Herpeselect and a confirmatory BioKit HSV2, turns out I was negative on the Western Blot. Interesting as well is that I took another Herpeselect and was negative on that too. Although this is rare, it may occur.

[willow]

@hdiari3s ... ur therapist sounds like an idiot. 1 do u even knoe if u get lessions on cervix? And 2 so what if u do... u can still have kids...

@catapillarmonarch .. so sorry to hear what an ass ur doc was, happens all the time to me. Iv had to educate more doctors about different things, and they still give me that jedgment glare like "how dare u! Im the proffesional"... pffftt my ass they are!

[WCSDancer2010]

@hdiari3s

 

Sounds like time to get a new therapist.... she' sounds like she's blonder than Jessica Simpson :/

 

@txguy23

 

Negative on WB after a 4.11 result? That is really weird. Never heard of someone with a value that high that came out negative on WB.

 

That said, you make a valid point.

 

@caterpillarmonarch

 

Do you know the values (numbers) on your test? If you have never had symptoms and the values were less than 3.5, I would get re-tested. Usually anything between 1.1 (which is considered "positive") and 3.5 has a 40% false positive rate, so if your numbers are in that range I would definitely get retested. Or you can go straight to the Western Blot that txguy mentioned ... the Westover Heights Clinic can do it for you ... just call them for info:

 

Dr. Lisa Taulbee at the Westover Heights Clinic, http://westoverheights.com/ (503) 226-6678

[inthelight22]

I had my annual physical late last week with my primary care physician (my gyne discovered I had HSV2 in August). He was totally normal in our discussion before the exam until I told him about my diagnosis, then, for the first time in 18 years, told me not to take my clothes off and put on the gown, that "there was no need." I thought, wow, just wow.

[caterpillarmonarch]

@WCSDancer2010 and @txguy23

 

Thanks for asking! I do have "the razor blade" feeling, but no outward signs.

 

Test results:

HSV 1 IgG: Greater than 5 (and yet no cold sores since I was very young)

HSV 2 IgG: 3.91

 

I insisted on a retest, the numbers were the same the second time.

Does this mean anything to you? You two seem to know a lot about this. Should I get the Western Blot done?

 

And just for fun...I'm actually blonder (naturally) than Jessica Simpson :)

[caterpillarmonarch]

@inthelight22

 

Just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt: is it because your doctor assumed you got a full exam when you were diagnosed?

[WCSDancer2010]

@caterpillarmonarch

 

Well, it seems like a pretty clear positive ... however, if you want to be 100% sure (given that your H2 numbers were so close to the 3.5 cut off) then do it for your peace of mind... but odds are it will come up H2+...

[willow]

@inka... what part of canada are u from? Im in b.c. and ive gone through at least 10 if not more doctors cuz theyre idiots. (6 of them was me trying to find info on herpes bedore i found this forum..)

[RL2014]

Oh what a wretched thing to say! I thought my doc handled it badly. I saw a doc who Id never been to before because my gyn was booked. He took a swab and said there was less than a 30% chance it was H, I tried asking a bunch of questions but was rushed out being told he'd call to confirm regardless of the results in two days. I was a wreck! Two days later I received an email that read: "your recent test for herpes came back positive, I'll send a prescription to the pharmacy." That was it. Then when I tried to get him on the phone he said "just take the medicine." I was dumbfounded by his lack of bedside manner or compassion even talking to me while I was crying. Smh

[caterpillarmonarch]

@RL2014. Wow! That's terrible! I'm so sorry you went through that!

[jennybean]

I know this is very old but I just wanted to share that I got cervix based hsv1 and ive had only one sexual partner ever. It has nothing to do with amount of sexual partners!! It only takes one..

[whitedaisies]

@jennybean , what are ur symptoms?

 

I get no external lesions and trying to figure out if I get them internally.

[caterpillarmonarch]

@jennybean Thanks for sharing! They can tell us stats all day long, but stories like yours make it "real" to us, I think. I'd like to encourage you to write your own post about it!

 

@whitedaisies I don't have lesions either. I get a sharp razor-cut feeling pain on my right labia for 3-5 days. Then it goes away. Since it was usually around menstrual time, I thought it was that or that I'd cut myself down there, but I couldn't find the cut.

[whitedaisies]

@caterpillarmonarch then how were u diagnosed again?

 

I have only been diagnosed by blood hsv1 but I can't get a positive swab and it's driving me batty. I don't know what symptoms are what

[caterpillarmonarch]

@whitedaisies

 

I asked for a full panel test at my doctor's office. It was an Igg test and it came back positive, which was a total shock to me.

[whitedaisies]

@caterpillarmonarch

 

I see you have hsv1 and hsv2 test positive. Did you consider that sometimes hsv1 values can skew hsv2....usually the cut off for this is 3.5 but I just read a post by Terri Warren that this recently happened to her with a patient with hsv2 value of 5.

 

Maybe it's worth a shot to get the Western blot. Especially if you hve no lesions.

 

dDid you ever do a confirmatory test?

[jennybean]

@whitedaisies First was yellow tinted thicker mucus followed by the same but with blood. The blood would collect at night and come out substantially in the morning. By evening ut was yellow mucus again. I am pregnant so blood isnt supposed to come out at all. It also caused contractions and cramping in that area. The cramping and contractions have both eased since the outbreak seems to be easing up (I am on meds!)

[jennybean]

Its very very obvious. I assume it would cramp if there was a baby in there or not. Doctor was shocked mine was a terrible first outbreak. Even coughing was making the lesions burst and bleed mor.