Uh, me and my herpes are apparently famous

[misskellyrenee]

So I began disclosing on all my dating profiles, one of which being Tinder (hey, I live in LA, what a good way to meet dudes).

Some guy screenshot my bio of me disclosing and a picture of me with the top have of my face out of it, name and age still visible and posted it on Reddit. Within 15 hours it had nearly 300 comments, mostly all positive.

Then, websites like FAF magazine, brobible, brotips, and a few others posted it on their facebook and twitter, other people shared and reposted- websites that have 60K followers or more.

While I love the positivity, it bothers me that it has exploded like it has. Since getting it to disappear is unlikely since it is the internet and it is already out, I don't know what to do. I plan on talking to the websites and offering to talk/interview about it. That's one of my problems, its more of a "look at this," as opposed to talking about what it is like to get diagnosed, get depressed, have your boyfriend leave you and have to handle it alone.

The websites did commend me for my honesty, but still, they leave out a big chunk of the story....MY story.

My parents don't know I even have herpes, let alone this. My brother knows I have herpes but he doesn't know about this. I'm just really unsure now of what to do or how to feel about it.

[Sil88]

Wow, that must've been a shock - glad it went down well but still, you should have the choice. I'm sure most people wouldn't take it as well as you, but if you're comfortable in your own skin then you can use it in a positive way - sort've like a martyr, Kelly the stigma killer haha. In reality I think it's a drop in the internet ocean and it'll be forgotten in no time. (as long as it doesn't become a meme!) It's probably unlikely to reach your family, but I admire your honesty and the fact that H isn't hindering your tindering. (you can use that one if you want :p) Good luck whatever you choose to do.

 

Edit: I searched it and that's the whole of reddit seem to be more educated than doctors on the subject. Quite impressive! But I would add that (as I understand) it's 1% chance over 100 times having sex.

[misskellyrenee]

Here are all the sites that have my story other than the reddit site

 

http://www.brobible.com/life/article/girls-tinder-profile-brutally-honest-herpes/

http://www.unilad.co.uk/nsfw/girl-with-herpes-on-tinder-is-very-honest-about-her-condition/

https://fnews.com/this-girls-tinder-profile-is-brutally-honest-about-herpes-p3k5

https://lockerdome.com/6795302237775681/7634519016615700

http://www.fafmag.com/men/this-tinder-girl-is-brutally-honest-about-her-herpes-but-she-will-still-sleep-with-you/

https://www.facebook.com/BroBible?fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/brotipshq?fref=ts

 

AAAAAND about 20 posts about it on twitter, people have favorited, retweeted, etc, sites that have about 60k-100k followers

 

 

 

[PositivelyBeautiful]

@misskellyrenee, first of all, kudos to you for being so brave and forthcoming. I could imagine how violated you must feel about your privacy, and I am not really sure how I would feel about it, but there it is. It's all out there for the world to see, and the response is mostly positive (minus that comment about "she will still sleep with you" - how fucking rude to imply that... but then again, it's media seeking a sensational title). While I get why you are upset, there is nothing you can do to take it back or change what's now circulated, right? But here is an opportunity to tell your story, how little or how much of it you want, and to educate the masses of what it means to live with herpes, if that's something you want to explore. You have been given a platform to speak up, and already your bravery and strength is evident in your tinder profile, so why not take it to another level? own it, embrace it, run with it... There are few others on here who have been completely empowered by coming out and breaking down the stigma bit by bit, one person at a time... you have an opportunity to do it to thousands at a time. If you don't want to pursue that, i agree with @sil88, it will die down and become one of the million random posts/tweets/articles... some questioning whether it was real or concocted. Either way, your honesty and courage has gotten people talking and thinking about herpes, perhaps in a very different way than before. I know it's not something you have chosen to have happened, but you can turn this into something tremendously positive and rewarding, if you want. Sometimes live pushes us in directions we don't anticipate, and here is one of those times. How you decide to handle it, how you move forward from here is all in your hands. But know, that we are all hear to support you, and personally, I am grateful for your courage... and to all those who take public stance on this stigma.

A quote for you: "The question is not whether you are going to meet adversity, but how you are going to meet it." Stay strong and keep being as brave as you are!

[misskellyrenee]

I really liked that @positivelybeautiful !! I think I will!

[misskellyrenee]

Here is the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d26ErlcT5u4

[PositivelyBeautiful]

@misskellyrenee, kudos. Thank you for braving the stigma and telling your story. Herpes can no longer be a scary, misconstrued stigma when there is a face and story behind the diagnosis. And thank you for explaining that it can happen to anyone, at any time. More people need to understand that no one is immune to catching an std, and no one is tainted if they catch one, it's just life and sex and the realities of both. Embrace all the positive messages, experiences and opportunities that come from this, and know that your courage is definitely helping others out there!!

[WCSDancer2010]

First, like the way many of us got Herpes, I'm sorry that you were not given the CHOICE to have your status put out there .... however, in this day and age I think that anyone who puts their status on anything on the internet has to understand that sometimes people do really inconsiderate things like taking that info and making it available to other groups/publications.... just like people who do videos of them and their partners having sex or whatever ... some people just seem to think it's ok to take liberties with another's personal life.

 

So I'm sorry that this happened to you....I personally hope that you go to the person who started this and the publications who continued to publish this and school them about taking something like this and passing it on without trying to reach the person that they are exposing so that they could tell their story. And kudos to you for commenting and telling people that you are the person in those articles.

 

I'm guessing that part of this *may* have been as a response to the articles about Ella Dawson who came out publicly a couple weeks ago ... except that many of these sites are less about real information and more about just getting hits any way they can.

 

All that said, lets just hope that your message helps to educate some people, and that if your friends/family come across this that they will honor your path and see you as the powerful woman that you are... taking a stand to educate people about something that is highly misunderstood and stigmatized...

 

 

(((HUGS)))

[Cars85]

WOW! While that was probably pretty shocking to see it on Reddit, good on you for including that information on all your dating profiles! That act in and of itself shows tremendous courage and really helps with normalizing herpes and slowly breaking down the stigma. Thank you for your bravery and willingness to educate; you are helping more people than you know! xo

[Ihaveittoo1975]

Way to go girl! Very strong of you to do this.

[WCSDancer2010]

I just replied on this one because I thought that the headline and implication was tasteless and classless

 

http://www.fafmag.com/men/this-tinder-girl-is-brutally-honest-about-her-herpes-but-she-will-still-sleep-with-you/#fbComments

[misskellyrenee]

I really love all the support right now. Can't wait until others going through this see my video.

[misskellyrenee]

BTW @WCSDancer2010, thank you for that comment. MUCH appreciated, and I loved how you pointed out that he may very well have herpes, that shuts people right up.

[mr_hopp]

This is so good. :)

[misskellyrenee]

I do want to do more videos if interest picks up.

[WCSDancer2010]

I know you didn't ask for this but bottom line is that the more of us who stand up and take a stand against ignorance and fear, the more the stigma will dissipate ;)

[ihaveittoo]

I already left a comment at youtube but I wanted to add that the way you have dealt with this situation is the very definition of "taking the bull by the horns". Wish I could be more open, but being married to someone not quite as willing to come out of the closet kind of keeps me in there too. Once again, great job!

[fitgirl]

@misskellyrenee nice work girlfriend! The fact that you have met this head on and taken it as YOUR opportunity to de-stigmatize herpes is a brave and bold move. As much as the spread of the topic is an attempt to get readers and followers to each of these feeds, it also ends up bringing herpes to the masses, to get them thinking and talking about it. By putting a face to the headlines you are changing the stigma one person at a time. The more we get out there and show that soooooo many of us have herpes and we will not sit in the shadows and be silent. It's not a reason to feel shame and it sure as fuck isn't a reason to feel less worthy or less desirable. Quite often the negative reactions and the people who "out" us are acting out of fear and sometimes that fear is that someone will find out THEY have herpes. What better way to distract from your own herpes than to point the finger at someone else?! It's a classic move for a coward to throw accusations and insults to detract from their shit and lies. The best defense is a good offense...... you have mounted the greatest offense! Keep the videos coming... :)

 

 

[YogaJ12]

Kudos to you for being so positive and brave. This inspires people like me who are still suffering from the stigma and emotional effects. :)

[Cars85]

@misskellyrenee for the record I think what you did was so incredibly brave, and the outpouring of support is kind of surprising to me (but in a good way!) and itʻs empowered me to finally add my photo to this forum (which I was SO nervous to do just a year half ago). keep on keeping on! ps - great video!

[misskellyrenee]

@ihaveittoo Thank you for the comment, really appreciate it and the kind words!

 

@fitgirl I agree, oftentimes the people who act out are just acting that way because that is how they would feel about themselves if they got it. Sometimes they have it and don't even know it. Mind. Blown.

 

@YogaJ12 Thank you, it doesn't happen over night for sure, but you get there in your own time in your own way. Keep goin, you'll get there.

 

@Cars 85 I really appreciate that, and I love that my bravery inspired someone else. I'm so happy you took that step to put your picture up, step by step. Keep on keeping on, my friend.

[fitgirl]

@Cars85. Yay for the photo! I love seeing all these pretty faces (and handsome ones) on this forum. WE are all the face of herpes and a damn fine looking group :) congrats for "coming out" in your own way, it can be just as empowering for you as @misskellyrenee coming out in her profile (and subsequent Internet herpes stardom!) every step we take towards empowerment takes the stigma down a notch or two and gives us our power back. Keep up the good work ladies, I'm proud of you :)