Ishmael

A lot of these don't scream herpes and having them all in conjunction and without a cycle of outbreaks and full abatement also doesn't. I mean you've got herpes on your groin, herpes on your penis, herpes on the outside of your mouth, herpes inside your mouth, herpes on your eyes, herpes on your butt, and herpes in your central nervous system. And the symptoms don't really come and go, there is always something happening. Like, you don't go a few weeks without any symptoms. That's some powerful herpes. Not only that, but this powerful herpes is undetectable by tests that detect herpes. Next level, all the time/everywhere herpes with stealth power. What is does scream to me, and to at least a couple of the doctors that you've spoken with, is health anxiety, which I recognize because I also suffer from it. You sound like a guy with a rash, dry skin, canker sores and bad case of hypochondriasis.

No way would he have a sore the next day. Like, not physically possible.

Right. So I really think you should consider talking to a therapist if this is affecting your mental health, which it seems like it is.

Was your transmission a one off or from someone that you had sex with more than the one time? Studies have shown that the incubation timeline of the virus is at least 48 hours, and the literature seems very firm on this. So the question becomes are you a statistical anomaly or did you experience what are very commonplace symptoms from something else that happened to segue with your primary outbreak and could have helped exacerbate it. Or possibly you contracted herpes earlier and the sex simply helped trigger an outbreak? Even if you did experience prodome in the first 48 hours, which seems possible I guess, the OP is talking about onset in the first 24. That would be radically atypical, not just a bit fast/early. Like how would the virus even get to the nerve in the base of his spine and then back again to start triggering prodome in a single day? That would be wild. That said, I'm not healthcare professional or an expert, just someone who reads about this. Also, if I were him, I'd listen to my healthcare professional and not people, like me, on an internet forum. I'd also get tested and practice safe sex with my wife until I could get tested 12 weeks after my last exposure, but that's a wise move regardless of the symptoms given that he's had sex with other people of late.

Hey man, thanks for sharing. It's really important that people come here and share these types of stories with people that are struggling. One thing that you mention that I think is really important is being proactive. You mentioned going to the gym, quitting smoking, and generally working on you for a while while you came to terms with it. I think that is great and very valuable advice.

You're still kind of new, like a year in or so, right? I think you'll find it gets better, but one thing you might want to seriously consider is therapy. It might really help with the mental aspects.

You might say that you'd like to give him some time to think about it, and then send the info along as per Jessica08's post to help him mull it over. Also, a good idea when giving the talk is not to make it seem like a big deal, because it doesn't have to be. There's a really great thread on this forum here: While I'm ambivalent about doing it over text, one thing that I do think is key is not presenting it like herpes is a living nightmare or that you're inviting him to suffer through something with you. You'll find most people don't know much about herpes and will follow your emotional que. If you're calm, they will be calm. If you are very upset, they will similarly become anxious. Lastly, encourage them to do some of their own research before they make any decisions. I really think it sounds like this guy might come around, but if he doesn't, a lot of other guys will. Let us know how it goes.

Getting symptoms in the first 48 hours isn't just rare, it's unheard of. Nothing about what you are posting here indicates herpes and it's more likely you have some hypochondria mixed with guilt/shame. The best way to avoid herpes is to stay in a committed relationship with a monogamous partner when you're both negative.

It's okay to go through the pity party stage of a break up. It's normal and even healthy, as long as you maintain some perspective, which it sounds like you're doing.

Your mileage may very, but I think a more effective tactic might be to get to know someone a bit first and go on a couple dates. That way you get a sense of who it is worth disclosing to and then they have a better sense of who you are and if they are willing to take a risk. Ultimately, do what makes you feel best, but that's my 2 cents.

If it was starting before you touched him, then no, that's not because you gave him HSV1. I'd definitely avoid kissing him again anytime soon though even if you don't have an outbreak.

A lot of people, especially people who are newly diagnosed, get roped into thinking that their only options involve dating someone that also has this. The pool did get smaller in the sense that some people won't see past your H and respect/love you for who you are. But really, did you want to be with those people anyway? Think of H as a filter that helps weed out jerks. The fact is, millions of people with H are dating millions of people without H. That's not something to make you feel better; that's a hard fact about this condition and how common it is. What becomes difficult is disclosing, but there are a LOT of resources that can help guide you through that process, including here at this website. Yes, it does mean having an uncomfortable conversation and yes very well could involve getting rejected. But they aren't rejecting you, they are scared of something that they don't fully understand. If you want some helpful links, just let me know. Ask yourself what it is that makes you attractive to other people, both physically and in terms of your personality. Try to understand that all of none of that goes away because of H. If millions and millions of other people with H can find love and happiness, what makes you the exception? It's a bit like jumping into a lake. but once you get things going again you'll be fine.

Maybe get a referral to a second gyno. It sounds like the help you need is from a medical professional and the people you are currently speaking to are just throwing the same solution at you with no results.

That's because you don't have herpes.

Because presumably you care enough about that person to be honest with them and let them make their own choices about their health and sex life. But you'd rather let someone risk getting herpes than have an uncomfortable conversation. Cool. Also, you haven't had an outbreak in 7 months. Great. But you know that most people that get herpes get it from a partner who isn't having an outbreak, right? Or is reading up on the condition and how it's spread also too much to ask of you?

Excuse it however you want. I find it reprehensible and I feel sorry for the people you are lyng to.

All the things that draw people to you are still there. And millions of people have this condition and still find love and happiness. There's absolutely no reason you can't be one of them.

If you waited until after you already had sex with someone to disclose then their response should be to break up with you. I know mine would be. That's plainly immoral and irresponsible.

It is extremely unlikely. While you can get HSV-2 on your face, it accounts for something like 1% of oral herpes. More than that, since you already have it on your genitals, after having it for about three months downstairs you will develop antibodies that will make it almost impossible to spread to your face. If I were either of you, I'd suggest going to town on each other not worrying about it. I'd also suggest getting medical advice from medical health professionals and not this, or any other, internet forum.

I think that not only will you find that lots of people in their right mind have accepted it, but that those that have are mentally healthier than those that haven't.

Warts are also the result of a virus. They are also a skin condition. Those are not mutually exclusive terms.

A red rash with red spots under the testicles can be just about every kind of rash there is. There's not a lot to suggest herpes here. Get an IGG blood test to know.

If the symptoms that are making you think it might be herpes appeared before 48 hours after exposure, it's not herpes. It takes at least two days (more commonly a week) for herpes symptoms to appear. None of this sounds like herpes to me.

Ugh, that's so awful to hear that you're going through this. It's easy for me to say "What you should do is ABC." but ultimately you should do whatever you think is best. I feel like telling the authorities and letting this guy know that what he did is assault is a good idea. He seems to think he didn't do anything wrong, and that's terrifying. Also, I think the idea of talking to a counselor is a great idea.

Sores should not be constant. There should be weeks/months at a time where you don't have symptoms. I've never heard of an O lasting half a year. What have doctors told you you might have? Have you ever been prescribed anything?