Ishmael

This too. Herpes is a very stressful, even traumatic, diagnosis for many people, and this could be connected. What I read is that Acyclovir can cause apolopecia, which is hair loss everywhere, so if you're just seeing some thinning on your head, it might be stress.

If you want to see some charts and graphs about your chances of transmission, you can find them here on the main site. Your chances to transmit to a woman while using daily antivirals, condoms, and not having sex during an outbreak are around 2.5% per year of a sexual relationship. Those numbers also refer to couples who have been together for a couple years. If you got it a year ago, you are less infectious now than you were a year ago. The first year is the worst. It will slowly go down for ten years, but even then you will still be infectious. Bad news: you can shed the virus every where in your "boxer" area, even if you only have out breaks on your penis. So use the antivirals and use condoms.

Hair loss is a potential side effect of Acyclovir, but not, as far as I'm aware, herpes. Some people get the hair loss but most don't.

https://medium.com/lovetouchpoint/the-one-good-thing-about-genital-herpes-771d99e7a926

Thanks, but they aren't "kind words" they're the truth. The truth is that this will be a painful transition, but that before long you will look back at the agony of the early stages after diagnosis and think you were naive to feel so upset. This isn't going to change your life much. Here's a thread you should check out: Also, I'm going to post a couple more links below, but they weil need to be approved by a mod, so they might not pop up right away.

The craziest thing about HSV is how bad it feels to be diagnosed and how overwhelming it feels, versus how the vast majority of people with it feel about having it even just a year later. First, your symptoms are going to get way less frequent and painful. Second, you are going to find that there are lots of people who will react to disclosure with an open mind and a kind heart, and you will find love again. I know it feels like the world is falling apart right now, we've all been there, but it's not going to feel like that forever.

Two or three days without brushing your teeth?

Stress, sure. How old are you? What kind of physical shape are you in? Eating anything different? Drinking?

He might have gotten it before your relationship and then you might have been together for 3.5 years before it passed to you or before he had an outbreak. That is possible, because people can go years before having an outbreak and couples can be together for years without passing it on. It's also possible that he passed it to you some time ago and you are having your first outbreak now. But it is also possible that he cheated on you. There is no test that can answer this for you I'm afraid. But ask yourself why you are suspicious. Has he given you reason to doubt him? What is absolutely, 100% true is that if you haven't had sex with anyone else (including someone giving your oral sex) then you did get it from him and he needs to understand and acknowledge that. If he is denying that, than, to be frank, it seems like he has some trouble being honest, and maybe that's where your doubt is justifiably coming from.

If I was HSV-1 positive via blood test with no outbreaks in the genitals, I would not disclose, and I say that as someone who must, and does, disclose to every partner about my HSV-2. HSV 1 is something 80% of the population has, and if you have no reason to believe it is a genital infection then what, exactly, are you even disclosing? "Hey, I have what almost everyone has." Like, who is this hypothetical person that doesn't then have sex with someone with HSV-1? Just go back to living a normal life like everyone else.

Show a doctor.

Get them swabbed when they are new.

That is bullshit. Get an IGG blood test. Getting diagnosed from symptoms alone is very 80's.

One thing that is strange is phasing out of the nightmare fever-dream of the early diagnosis and coming home to yourself again. The complete breakdown that many of us experience is based on a whole set of preconceptions that then don't pan out into our lived realities and it all seems so overblown and overly intense once we begin to regain focus. It's amazing to experience the massive difference between the stigma of the disease and what it feels like to actually have it.

Hell yes! Congratulations. That's what happens when people know about what this actually is. And good for you for coming back here and letting others know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.

There used to be the "Scrogaurd" but I guess it was laughed out of existence. I'd to try something like in this pic. I would wear it, and then my boxers over it, while putting my penis through the boxers. In my estimation, that's very unlikely to spread the virus. The pic is from amazon, but I'm not about the size and what have you. I have seen a few latex short condom duo kits and they are like $400. Given the ubiquity of herpes, I'm really surprised there aren't more things like this. My biggest anxiety is about transmission. I assume others feel this too!

I think most of us would suggest not disclosing right out of the gate. It's a better idea to get to know someone a little first so they can have a sense of who you are because this is have an effect on whether or not they are willing to take the risk. The way this person acted suggests that there is a lot wrong with him and isn't going to be your normal experience. It is a shame it was your first one! You might find this useful:

@Blondie1982 Thanks for coming here and sharing this. I think it's really important for people who are newly diagnosed to not only hear success stories but to understand that they are the norm and not the exception. Helping out someone who feels not how you once did is a good thing, because it's easy just to put all that behind you as you move forward with your own life.

Thanks @Hopeforall and @Next step! However, it's important to acknowledge that in addition to being wise and uplifting, I'm also VERY handsome.

How about this:

Tried this? Herpes Support Groups Montrealeal - Montreal HELP -H St. Laurent, QC Ph: (514) 855-8995 e-mail: ruban-en-route@qc.aira.com Web: http://www.rubanenroute.org/herpes.php - Quebec City Herpes Support Group - Sainte-Foy, QC Tel: (418) 659-6189

You're going to be alone for the rest of your life? Why? About 20% of women have HSV-2; are they all alone? Or do millions of people that have herpes still manage to lead fulfilling lives filled with great sex, intimate relationships and love? What is special about your herpes that it has consigned you to a life of loneliness where it has not for so many others? It's normal (and perfectly okay) to go through a period of being extremely upset, but over time two things are going to happen. 1.) You're going to realize that, physically, herpes amounts to an inconvenience. Perhaps a painful and irritating inconvenience, but an inconvenience nevertheless. That's it. 2.) You're going to find that many people are a lot more understanding than you imagine and that this diagnosis isn't going to make you a sexual leper. Look at how many people on this website say that years later it's not that big a deal. See anyone still rolling around in grief or coming here years after their diagnosis and saying that, yes, their lives really are over? It's worth pointing out that herpes CAN seriously mess up your life. It can make it so that you spend the rest of your life alone and wallowing in self-loathing. Like, that's a real potential outcome... if you choose it. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but one day you're going to have to make a choice to start the process of accepting your diagnosis (if you are positive) and coming to terms with it. That means accepting that you are not gross or tainted, and that means realizing that you are worthy of being loved and desired by someone you love and desire. Again, literally millions of people that have herpes have gone on this journey. Ask around here and elsewhere and you'll see! And when you reach the point where you're in a relationship with someone, not only will your current state of despair seem a bit naive to you in retrospect, but you'll realize that your relationships are stronger and your sense of self is stronger because of how you've reckoned with your condition. But starting that journey means going some distance to putting aside a pattern of thinking only of the worst case scenarios and striving toward what you deserve. That doesn't have to happen over night, and it won't, but how you feel now is not going to be how you feel a year from now. Don't get trapped into thinking that you're going to spend the rest of your life in the throes of desperation that come from the initial diagnosis. That isn't real.

Naw, he has to be willing to take a 1% chance of getting a life long virus over the course of a year of regular sex, which is a chance a lot of guys will take, particularly when they find out how hard it is to transmit when you avoid sex during outbreaks, take antivirals, and use condoms. Just look at this thread! Also, if you want to ease back into the dating scene before easing into disclosing, check out postivesingles.com. It's a dating site for people with an STI. I don't think anyone with herpes needs to limit themselves to it, but it's a good place to start.

For people with recurrent outbreaks things typically have a significant shift at about 1 year out as the body adapts to the virus, then start to get better year by year after that. A year is still a long time, but it's not a life sentence! Keep in mind that the vast majority of people with this condition experience the physical symptoms as a mild annoyance.

It's really great that you remembered how you felt when this all started and came back to give some peace of mind to people who are going through what you went through.