Orngpeelmafia

I would suggest going to planned parenthood or looking up when hospitals have their free std clinic. I went to urgent care clinic when I had my first full blown ob and they couldn't do jack for me. Go to a testing facility they're equipped to handle it and understand more about it

I almost forgot to add: we fear the unknown. You're freaking out because what little information you think you "know" is letting your imagination run wild. Breath and check out all the wonderful facts this site has to offer and you'll start to realize this ain't no thang!

Are you sure you're thinking herpes? I didn't think a PAP smear was for herpes I tought it was for HPV which is actually a different thing all together...more common than even herpes. Everything Herry has said is true...life goes on herpes is not a danger to your physical health. Life goes on you just gotta keep on keepin on :)

@dancer <3 <3 I actually have been looking into co-dependency it's something I've struggled with before. I don't need him...I know this and I have a life outside of my relationship (leaps and bounds from where I once was ::shudders:: a younger version of myself went through true dependency in a relationship and that WAS NOT fun) and I am happy to a point. Yes it sucks and I have days where I miss him but I know life goes on. I know I have the strength to go on...I have these moments of clarity and then he's trying to get back in my life and all logic goes out the window. I have no will power when it comes to him and I feel like an addict some days but only when around him. I don't chase like I have in past relationships and I don't put my life on pause. But he tries to guilt trip me when he gets jealous that I am out with other people. But he can't even admit to having love for me just as a friend. When he pushes me away is when I hit low points like the one that spawned my original post. I'm trying to move on and save our friendship because he is a beautiful person and one I want in my life forever but he is making it difficult...and I'm no good at walking away and staying away...

Ok let me get this straight...you would rather be faced with a deadly disease in which the treatment for said disease is just as deadly? You'd rather be faced with pain and death than a silly little rash? There are people on this forum who have cancer who would much rather just have herpes. Herpes only has as much power as you let it. My life is a wreck right now...I got dumped and I'm facing some real life shit...know what isn't a factor? Herpes. Know why? Because I don't let it. I'm two years into this herp journey too and I can tell you as soon as I stopped making such a big deal out of herpes that's when it stopped being a big deal for other people too. Sure you'll have people that freak out and run away but I have people freak out and run away when they find out I smoke cigs too...am I going to sit in my house all day and night depressed that "I'll never find someone who will accept me as a smoker" or will I just keep on truckin? I'm gonna roll with the punches. You're letting a stigma define you...don't :) it's way harder said than done but just don't. You live everyday the same the only reason you feel different is because you're buying into the stigma. Emotional pain and self doubt are the hardest things to overcome I'm with you on that one...but don't just roll over and let a silly rash win!!! Learn to accept yourself and the rest will fall into place <3

Thanks guys :) I can say this...I'm not afraid of H...it holds no power over me anymore and that's a cool feeling to have. I know I'll live with it the rest of my life but ya know it's really not that bad and I have no fear of finding someone who will look past it. But now it's this feeling of who will actually love me for me? And @virus you'd think with our probability issues one of us would've hit the jackpot by now hahahaha oh I have such poor humor some days XD I'm trying to rebuild and find the strength and confidence I worked so hard to gain...I know it's there I can feel it...everytime I get close to grabbing it I get pulled back in just to be pushed away again. Why do I let this happen to me? Maybe I need therapy...

I didn't know where else to go...my friends are tired of hearing about it and I'm almost to the point of being tired of talking about it...but maybe some of you will be able to relate or something or maybe I'm just crazy and depressed. I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I miss my confidence and I miss loving myself...I miss feeling like I was worth something to someone. Life isn't easy I get that...I've been through enough to understand that much. When I found out I had herpes I thought my life was over... And then I woke up one day and started putting everything back together and started working on me. I grew and changed and my dead end street suddenly wasn't a dead end anymore...life went on. I met this guy and he became my best friend...and then I started to have feelings for him and him for me...I was so scared of rejection because of H but it was never an issue not once. That made it all the scarier because now...knowing full well my insecurities about myself that's all I had left. And I tried desperately to put my fears aside for him...to trust him. He had baggage (a lot of it) so I gave him every chance to leave and save our friendship. At every chance he stayed and every time he stayed another wall came down. When there were no more walls...when I had everything laid bare and trusted him fully...he left. My world stopped. My best friend left me. He just dumped me....and even though I was hurting I knew I had to do what I've dome before and rebuild. But then he came back... And for months now he's been back and forth between just wanting my friendship and actually wanting to be with me. Every time he pushes me away I hurt all over and now.....I just feel so lost. I can't walk away from my best friend... But I feel so....I feel like I'm not worth it. I feel like I'm not good enough. I really wish this all ended because of H because I could walk away from that unscathed....but this? I can't fight this I can't figure out how to pull out of this. I feel like I as a person am unlovable...my best friend can't even love me so who will? I don't think I love myself anymore...how can I when I've become this weak scared little girl who is just sitting around hoping that maybe today he misses me... I'm sorry if this isn't the place to post this but you guys are all I have left...

Most certainly try some new things!!!! Explore the meaning of intimacy because there are so many ways to be close to another human being without actually doing the deed!!!!

You're trying to see the positive THROUGH the negative and that's damn near impossible. You can't work on finding the good if you can't look past the bad. And I know it is far easier said than done but we've all been where you are. All people take different times to cope and all do it in different ways. Reading these success stories just proves that it's possible but it's up to you to determine how and when that will happen. You can do this :)

Oh man the uti thing is sooooooooo true! I had been getting them regularly since I was 18 (26 now) and my first OB I thought it was just a uti and a little bit of soreness from some rowdy fun...boy was I way off on that one. I remember poking and proding my lady bits constantly! Any slight shift in any feeling and I was down there in an instant trying to see if anything looked different...I was on suppressive therapy but I was so scared that everyday for the rest of my life I would be a walking blister. That was a year and a half ago. Yesterday I got my first ob since I was first diagnosed. My valtrex script ran out and I decided to wait a few months before going back on to see what would happen...i got a few good months in but now that I had an OB I think I'll stay on suppressive meds....I'm rambling sorry. Back to my point! I made it a year and a half (with help from meds) with nothing resembling even faintly my first OB...and even this one...ok it's a bit of a bummer but I thought I had an ingrown hair at first...then it itched and I realized what was going on. Don't let your mind control your body or you'll go crazy. Every itch or tingle will have you in stage five panic mode and that alone can trigger something. Don't be a self fulfilling prophecy of bumps!!!! Herpes is a bit of an attention whore...the more attention you give it the more it's going to want to come out and say hi...I ignore mine for the most part and it stays away. Now don't think I brush everything off and ignore possible symptoms with a partner...I just find if I have a tingle or an itch that's being more persistent than a normal "just shaved" or "need to shave" or "weird underwear rubbing the wrong way" or any other number of feelings I let my partner know...but if I stress and start thinking an OB is about to show up guess what IT WILL because now I'm freaking out. So just keep calm and stay rational and let your body do the work for you :)

I sat in my car with my best friend one morning...I hadn't been to a doctor yet but I knew that something wasn't right and I had a good hunch I had herpes. As I sat there trying not to cry she looked at me and said "dude nothings gonna change. We've been through everything together. If you have it that's gonna suck but you know well make it through anything and I'll always be here" and upon telling my other best friend after I found out she shrugged and said "an I supposed to look at you differently now? Cause I don't...I hope that doesn't make me a bad friend" my point is that the people that love you won't care

What's really cool is when it happens for days at a time :) that's just started happening for me. I go days without thinking about any of my H and it's pretty awesome.

I haven't put blinders on good sir...quite the opposite. I say join the majority because I'm not focusing soley on HSV2 I'm looking at both viruses. If you take both type 1 and type 2 and look at all the people that have either of the two you are looking at a vastly different number. And you know what the big difference is? Placement and social acceptance. You can walk into a drug store and down an aisle to find row upon row of "cold sore" relief. What is a cold sore? oooooooooh that's right!!!!! A cold sore is the same thing I have on my beautiful lady bits but people just get it on their faces. And if you do a little more research you'll find that people never cared about herpes before someone created a drug for it...ask the people that were alive and dating then and they'll tell you much the same. Herpes isn't the best thing to ever happen to me...but out of all the things that could've happened honestly I'm glad I got a rash over something life threatening. And sure people are a little hesitant....if eczema were contagious do you think people would be lining up around the block to hug the kid with itchy dry patches of skin? But it is just a rash and it really doesn't change who I am. THAT is the point we try to make...that no matter what YOU haven't changed. I remember waking up and feeling like a stranger in my own body. My confidence and sense of self was destroyed and I didn't know what to do. Looking back I feel like I had blinders on before H...there were things I didn't like about myself that I just kind of pretended didn't exist. In order for me to move forward I had to start to become okay with all of me. And that has most certainly been a good thing. Herpes wasn't a good thing but I've taken a lot of good out of it.

@carlos thank you <3 you speak the words so clearly that I tried desperately to get out.

I was on suppressive for a year abouts...just recently stopped...if I had an ob it was super small and only ever looked like the beginning of one...I made it a nice couple of months with nothing happening but recent stress brought on a lovely little dance with mah herp a derp. I will say though that between going on suppressive therapy right away and having given my body time to build up antibodies and doing a good job on staying stress free this OB is nothin! Woo!!!!!!!!

Guy or girl rich or poor it doesn't matter. People are people. There are people who will listen and people who won't. A lot of how people react depends on how confident you are in yourself. All the doubts and fears are in your head. I know it seems like I'm speaking out of my bum right now but trust me. I thought I would never find anyone again...and then I dated (holy scary moments batman!) and eventually I found someone I started a serious relationship with and fell in love with. And as it turns out that's not where my story ends...but we didn't break up because of a stupid rash or the stigma attached to it. And im dating again!!!! When I got dumped I actually at one point wished it was because of my herpes because then it would be easy to be sad...but truth is it just didn't work out. All the fears I had about finding love and who it would be with...turns out I had just been projecting all my fears about my insecurities outward...I was scared I was going to end up with someone who was just like I saw myself to be. I didn't love myself. Herpes forced me to do a lot of soul searching and find love for myself. Now I know what I deserve and I refuse to settle. I don't look at it as someone amazing walking away from me because I'm gross...cause I'm not I'm actually pretty damn awesome. I look at it as a closed minded individual who would rather believe stupid tv jokes and social stigmas than trust me and love me. I deserve an honest, trusting, open minded person who can accept all of me. Herpes isn't a factor in my dating anymore because it honestly shouldn't be. Sure disclosing can be a little scary but ya know so is getting to know someone...I just have a little more to share whatever. I tend to ramble when I respond I hope all that made sense... And for the record I know Dancer said it already (love you forum mama!) but it's an equal opportunity rash....you've joined the majority so please leave the social stigma at the door were not all poor sluts here. I HAD to get that out hit a bit of a button with that one <3 loves and hugs

It's all about delivery. When you disclose be CONFIDENT!!!!!!!!! If you act like it's nothing and be knowledgable people will follow suit. If you're afraid and insecure and let that be known things won't go so well. I didn't fair so well a couple times when single. And to be honest now I'm in this weird relationship limbo and afraid to face the dating world again but honestly herpes has never been a factor in my love life and I never will let it become one. If someone doesn't want to date me it won't be because of a stupid rash.

If you're doing something regarding your medical status price isn't an issue though most clinics are set up for free or discounted rates. And you can ALWAYS set up payment plans...it's what my boyfriend does for all his medical bills.

Have you changed anything in your diet? Or maybe this new guy is getting you all excited and a little scared and your mind is working a little overtime taking away energy your body has been using to fight off your little bouts of herps. Rejoice in the fact that they're minor and inconvenient! And pat yourself on the back for having the knowledge at hand and knowing your body enough to spot an OB! Herpes can be a sign that you need to relax or change your diet a million different factors can go in to causing an outbreak. You've conquered the first step of noticing your obs now take a look at things that have changed and see what you can do :) if it is new relationship jitters just do your best to RELAX and they should calm down

Be confident in yourself that's really the key. Write it down first or talk to yourself in the mirror. But I've found that no matter how many times I say it to myself it always comes out differently. Don't stress on the minor details but be strong and confident in your knowledge and self acceptance. Disclosing is different for everyone and we all have different time frames and approaches to how we do it but we can all agree that face to face, while not the easiest thing in the world, has the best results. And don't ask for an answer right away...if you're anything like me you've spent so many hours going over this conversation that for you this moment has been going on for forever but remember for them its happening for the first time. Don't react negatively if they ask for time instead stay strong :) I found that I prefer a man who reacts with calm caution of the unknown. And as scary as this is...take a moment to enjoy that fact that you are doing more communicating with this person now than some people do their entire lives. You are stronger and braver than you think and herpes is weaker and more insignificant than it lets you believe.

Victoria you'd be surprised how easy it is :) like I said its basically a virtual bar so really its not that bad once you get used to how to read people. I never got used to first dates though... It was always so awkward hahaha

If you can't get in with planned parenthood just go to your nearest hospital and ask about their std clinic hours. When I went through trying to get tested I went to my urgent care center and they handed me a paper with free clinic hours. Just call and ask they should be able to point you in the right directions :) just make sure when you go to make sure you get the point across that you want to be tested for EVERYTHING

I was exactly where you are now. I have a boyfriend and have for a little bit now and even before him I had been in a few relationships and disclosure situations. I will say dating someone who had herpes was an eye opening experience. It was a very freeing experience...but my relationship now is even better and my bf has no downstairs bumpies while I do. The further you get in your stages f acceptance the easier it becomes to look past. I realized that all my fears were just my overly active imagination coming out to make my fears seem a certain reality. I disclosed to one of my best friend who I had been falling for the same week I found out and he didn't care. After he and I broke up I disclosed to some guy who politely said he wasn't looking for anything serious and the idea of transmission during something casual just wasn't something he could handle. It's scary to become so vulnerable but it's also very rewarding. Testing yourself and showing such strength is such an amazing feeling to give yourself. Most people aren't mean about it...they joke and such but that's just because they don't know. The more times I disclosed and said "I have HSV do you no what that is?" And hear no I realized people are highly uneducated. I was :( it took getting herpes to realize that but hey at least I'm healthy right? I only had one guy be mean about it and that was after we had sex...he started stalking me and I told him to back off and when I didn't respond to his texts or calls after telling him to leave me alone he got a little cray cray. The world isn't as negative as we think. Give people a chance :)

Serenity what I'm getting at is that while right now you feel like you'll only ever be happy with someone who has herpes, when you become ready to date again you may find that you don't want to limit yourself. :) food for thought!

Dancer have you found through your online dating adventures that people on the sites tend to be a little...rushed? One of the reasons I stopped using them is I felt like I was in a virtual bar. People either wanted to just have sex or marry me after one date! And the ONE time I found a super duper holy jaw dropping hot man who was my musical soul mate on positive singles I'm 99% sure he was a catfish because we would make plans to meet (I was insistent right away because I wanted to make sure right away he was who he said he was) he would flake. I got tired of the virtual world real quick...at least in the real world bars men buy me drinks!