msmee

Google is evil, stay away from it. There's so much bad info, it'll completely screw with your head

I've never had any symptoms and it's been about three years since I tested positive. It's totally possible. And when I say no symptoms I mean nothing, I'm very in tune with my body. Knockin on wood daily that it stays that way. My doctor also gave me meds that are in my bathroom cabinet and have probably expired.

My mom has herpes and she didn't tell me until I told her my diagnosis. She doesn't know what type and she found out while she was married informed my dad and moved on. I'm grown and she's my rock. Lucky to have her

Well I'm 34 years old so this may have to do with my age, but I couldn't care less about schooling someone. My social circle is more experienced and more exposed and knows that with all the risks we've taken collectively, herpes is not the worst of it. I think certain friends of mine definitely get weird around the topic but those are the friends that know they're current or past behavior has them worried. I choose when I throw out facts and when I don't and it's rare that I have to because the people I associate with just aren't like that. I did hear an idiot ex of mine talking about some girl having herpes and I gently reminded him that he's been exposed to everything and lucky to be alive. I also laughed at the idea that just because u don't have an std that u know of, that it's ok to shame someone that does. I didn't tell him about my status but again I really don't care about most people knowing. I think with time and age possibly, you'll become more confident and find a way to educate others or literally brush them off as idiots.

That last line wasn't meant to be harsh at all

Wow, the gossiping would've had me sick if I had that secret to tell. What you do now is solely up to you but if he gets it and he knows he got it from you and you didn't give him a heads up, he's probably for sure to act a fool. The reasons that you're giving for not disclosing should be the reasons you include when you disclose. Tell him the risk is low, apologize and then move on in peace. Hopefully he won't tell everyone, but if he does you'll live.

As far as his comment goes, a lot of people say that until they either have it or know someone that has it. Sometimes water testing doesn't work and u gotta just put it out there and be done with it.

Hi Bambina, I haven't been diagnosed for as long as you have but the origin is still a mystery for me as well. I too don't have outbreaks, so its unclear when I was exposed. And I too have had the pleasure of having to tell someone that I brought this to the table. It's rough but you deal and you give them all the info you have and let them take it from there. It will for sure be a mess, but a lot of good things come from the worst messes. I tried to trace my steps backwards but it's pretty much impossible and as hard as it is at first, in time you'll see that it really doesn't matter. It's definitely possible to go thru the most stressful times of your life and not have an outbreak. I consider myself very lucky, I've read some of the horror stories and I'm thankful I haven't experienced it firsthand. Everyone involved needs to know, including the spouses.

I agree, run fast. Sex is supposed to be exciting and hot, not like ur playing not it. As hard as it may be you might have to let this one go or at the very least take a break. A positive result can be a lot to process in general without adding his behavior.

My doctor was the total opposite. No judgement, plenty of facts, she was clearly over the stigma and was one of the first to let me know it happens and it's more common that you think. My first doctor was very uninformed and said if you don't have sores you're fine. I guess it's hit or miss

I agree this isn't a place to out people. We're here for support and to support each other.

I believe there are in certain states and you can just google your state. Also even if there isn't law in place you don't wanna be the person they make an example of. I've found that it's just the right thing to do, hard as it may be.

Goodness. I've had the same dentist for years so maybe it was on the form and I didn't notice, but that seems like tmi

I believe in God fully and I also believe that things happen. People die everyday and blame mostly goes in God's direction first but free will exists, diseases, injustices, things happen daily. Religious or not, things happen. It could always be worse.

Bring her to this site. You're not the only one. I found out thru a blood test, no outbreak. It's very common and it's not guaranteed that she has it.

Yes, nothing drastic. You do all you can to limit her risks and you enjoy your time together. Don't let this control you, it's not worth it. I think once you get a handle on it you'll feel a lot better about relationships in general. The fact that you know your status is a huge plus, that alone helps keep her safe. I got it from someone who didn't know.

NO! I don't know you at all but I can say for certain that's not the answer and they would not be better off without you. Please take advantage of this forum and any other support systems because you are a valuable person!

Please if you can afford it go to therapy. I went thru short term goal oriented therapy and it's the best thing I ever did.

We are all entitled to feeling how we feel. No one has to have it together every second of every day. We're all human and you're such a positive wealth of knowledge on this site but you too need support. Don't sit at that table too long, I don't know you personally but you seem lovely.

Have fun now!

Hi Pretty, I have no noticeable symptoms so I'm not really sure you would ever know if you're shedding or having an outbreak. But I think once you know you're positive, which you do now, you might actually notice some symptoms, however mild. I think in a relationship with your lack of symptoms the best you can do is get on anti-virals. First thing to do, like whitedaisies said, is get your bf tested. If he has the same type of herpes you have then there's nothing to worry about.

Hi, you aren't guaranteed herpes it doesn't work like that. If he's on antivirals your risk is down to about 5% I believe. Children are definitely an option, you would want to let your doctor know that your partner is positive and they'll go from there. Being with him doesn't guarantee you'll get it. Also if he knows when an outbreak is coming you guys can abstain. I've read many posts on this site about couples with children that are not both positive.

There's nothing wrong with anything you said. You don't have to be physical any time soon, I think it's ok to protect yourself and she may not want to be physical just yet either.

Hi I don't think there is a timeline if you were infected a long time ago. Did u have an outbreak? I have never had one but I tested positive thru a blood test so that let's me know it's an old infection. U mentioned karma? Not sure that has anything to do with it, shit happens. Hope you feel better

Hi clc31, If you've been with one person for a long time u may have had it before him and it decided to activate now. From what I've read it's not uncommon. Most long term partners take the news well so tell your bf and have him tested. As far as the meds I'm not sure, they are said to shorten the outbreak time if taken at the onset, so you might wanna ask your doctor or maybe someone else has more advice on that. I think the soreness goes with the outbreak, I've never had one but I've read a lot since my diagnosis. After my positive result I tried to think back to any sores only one I can remember was on sore near the edge of my bikini line that looked like a razor bump but other than that nothing. I did get pain in my right leg after my diagnosis which is on the same side as the mystery sore but I wasn't positive at that time or so I thought so I wasn't swabbed. Hope this helps and I hope it continues to clear up