Bambina3

I actually have only told my best friend so far I just started on my H journey Good luck...hugs!

Congrats ;)

just wanted to reach out and let you know you are not alone....I have similar fears and concerns

I have googled and found in reference to the legal aspect of all this...it's a subject that gives me various answers from no legal obligation to a potential. Regardless....sending hugs, I hope it gets better for us all

I have no comment, the ladies above are much more in tune than I am, I am new....but wanted to stop and send a hug !!

I am very new to this...and have very little comment to make other than the ladies above..,but I did want to stop and send a hug

Soooo maybe nothing I have written warrants a feedback from anyone, or comment...and that's ok....but what about a hug? Are we not all here because we are suffering in one form or another Just sayin

I called my nurse today at my PCP office..when I was there the other day I requested to have the blood test done to look for antibodies...I was denied...I wanted that test for my own piece of mine for recent infection verses older infection...based on my documentation without confirmation years ago...her response was that I contracted it back then, it has been dormant, and for whatever reason it became active...she said the swab was all that was necessary, my treatment was appropriate by my OBGYN. It's been approx 3/4 weeks after my ob...I think now it's a mute point...it will show positive...not sure if numbers mean anything...but now I have to live with assumptions. Pretty shitty if you want my opinion...I requested the blood test, I should of received it. Both my OBGYN and PCP denied giving it to me.

Yikes about the illegal...didn't know that..have roamed your site and saw patients bring up that issue...I'll have to google it...it is morally incorrect not to disclose, so yes...I will disclose to my current affair, when I am emotionally in the right place...until then I have been refraining...he's a good lay (as you term it) not only for the reasons I stated above, but because he's also been my friend for over 20 years, he trusted me, I unknowingly let him down....I have failed many people in many ways and didn't know it until recently... I have a lot of anger towards the medical community now, they shoved me off like it was no big deal,...told me it was common...handed me a script and my only instruction was to refrain from sex for 10 days.... I come to the net....its a lifelong std, etc etc. You would think the medical community would have some responsibility in all this...safe sex practice maybe? Education? Tonite I was at strength training class...we laid on the mat, the bar over us, doing pelvic thrusts...I silently started to cry...the instructor came over, made sure I was ok, and helped me get on track with class...all I thought laying there was "dirty ho"... I will get past this...and to the acceptance phase, I know that...when I do I'll deal with my mess. I was diagnosed with HPV approx 10 years ago, had surgery...I felt the same way, and did eventually disclose. Shoving me under the rug, telling me this is common, with no education or awareness is wrong!!

I had what we think was my initial outbreak decades ago...and nothing else until recent...its mind boggling but I guess true.

I just wanted to stop and leave you hugs...you are not alone

@msmee I'm so glad to hear you have that kind of bond with your mom....but notice she didn't share until you told her about your diagnosis...I will handle it the same way...what they think of me and how they view me means more than anything or anyone else...if I needed to share my diagnosis in hopes to comfort them, that is what I would do. @2Legit2quit ok you have a point, I don't want it end...I don't want to leave home for several reasons (no need to duscuss)but....we have similar concerns with our marriages...he's really hot and good in bed...(that was pretty blunt). Sooooooo today I decided to bring my decades old chart to my primary care physician office...she was not there...but her nurse was...pointed out to me the same reason that brought me to seek medical attention to be currently diagnosed...is the same that brought me in back then...although I wasn't officially tested for herpes back then...she confirmed she has no doubt it was herpes...like many of you have stated for whatever reasons it went dormant or I had mild outbreaks. She also strongly suggested I tell my affair. She said it is completely possible he also had it prior to me, and maybe that got me flared up as well,..all theory, speculation...bottom line I've had it for decades...a "veteran" as I have seen it referred to onsite... For a strong confident self sufficient woman that I view myself, and others view me, this has brought me to my knees very weak, just saying.

Good afternoon...I am a veterans H carrier, although didn't confirm it until recently...I'm still in the stage you are...I've only told my bestie about the diagnosis...I hope for our sake it gets better...I agree...I'm feeling kinda bleek too...one thing I can tell you is there is great people on this site who are more than willing to help us. Hugs!

Just an update...I'm still moooozing along ignoring the fact of my diagnosis...and only my long term bestie knows...I had a long drive over the weekend and lots of thoughts ran thru my head...a man...a friend....I really could care less what they think of me if its negative...but my grown children....a whole other subject...I would do what I had to...to protect them from any hurt or stigma...and how they view me, and only them...matters So I'm treading lightly right now. Thanks everyone for all your feedback above ;)

I'm hiding from the stigma....the reality...there's no talking your way out of how this was contracted... I'm getting better in terms of not crying all the time...I've always been strong and independent..this has made me feel week..

Soooooo I started to slowly "come out" and tell only those that are supposed to love and care for me...I hit a road block and clammed up. I told my best friend of 30 years...she was accepting and loving...I could tell by the look on her face she was worried, along the way she had a partner I did (years later)....she said she would not seek testing, she didn't want to know, nor tell her husband. At dinner tonite I was prepared to tell my husband...I started to talk about both types of herpes...what it was etc...I told him someone close to my heart had genital herpes, he asked who? I said does it matter?(I was testing the waters) how he would feel about that...his reply "I wouldn't want to be near someone with herpes. I clammed up...changed subject...done Sigh

2legit2Quit you made me smile being so direct...I'm so used to being alone and in charge in all areas of my life, it was nice to see someone do that to me ;) I'm just trying to sift and sort thru all this mess I have created....I have refrained from physical contact with my affair (we still talk) until I figure out how ongoing to approach this, although I'm not seeing a gentle approach. The problem I am struggling with before I spill is taking full responsibility for bringing this "to the table" (so to speak).....odds are based on my diagnosis it is me...but...I am having sleepless nights thinking about this...it boggles my mind...how can I go thru 3 healthy pregnancies? A divorce? Career changes? Not to have any other out breaks that would warrant medical attention until now? Can anyone help me understand this????? I'm still looking at both affairs thinking it had to be one of them even though my heart tells me different No, it doesn't matter now, I'm infected....but my brain can't seem to shut this part of this equation down.

Oh Danaaaar I'm sorry I do see where you noted about my affairs above, yes I know it's up to me...I'm just in a bad spot right now emotionally...

Thank you both for commenting, your comments are extremely helpful, inspiring...and kind....just not sure I'm in the right frame of mind to carry thru all this. To clarify, my affairs have been within the last 3 years...(1) of the 2 is still ongoing...he has a wife of 23 years, children...unknowingly he was with me during this ob that sparked me to seek treatment, I would be surprised if he didn't contract it...I know he needs to be told...I haven't had the strength yet to tell, I'm in "shock let's avoid all mode" To dancer....do you have children? I am shocked that thru my hurdles in life, including childbirth of my grown children, my first marriage/divorce, other stress factors, that it didn't rear its ugly head enough for me to notice...did you have the same? Thanks again !!

So...I was struggling with telling my husband...he has a history of not keeping private matters private...Last night I had an incident at home.....despite all the times I have asked him not to air things at work or online..., he did it anyway....he posted it online for all his friends list to see. I just cried...I have always felt alone in this marriage...now it hit me hard...I can't trust him with this....I know he needs to know...but...we live in a small community, my fear is all will know. Just awful.

Ok...thank you for explaining

I have to admit,I'd love a herpes buddy to talk to...I feel very alone

I'm sorry, I think you need more bonding time before you disclose this kind of information...not in a sexual sense, but emotional I still haven't had this talk with my husband, I just found out 2 weeks I have it, and it's most likely something I contracted over 25 years ago. Good luck, hugs

This tells me how many views,104, but only 2 sweet people took the time to write me...I'll have to venture out and read others

Thank you for your comments Gosh you have both given me so much to think about My 2 affairs have been within the past 3 years, to complicate matters (1) affair is still going on...unknowingly he was with me twice during this recent outbreak. He is also married. The devastation I have caused,... I am so scared to tell, and face this alone.