Bambina3

I still have a hard time buying into I've had this for decades and it's now rearing its ugly head...I know what they tell me, I know what I've read...it's mind boggling and I'm still not buying it...but...you can't go against medical records and my old records strongly indicated hsv2. Again hugs and thanks for sharing !!!

A couple of comments I'd like to make ;) As far as HPV(above mention)I also have HPV, I was diagnosed about 15 years ago and lost part of my cervix...my husband at the time sought testing, (I was with him 13 years), it came back negative but we were informed it is very very difficult to diagnose a man with HPV, (the strain that causes cancer) HSV2, I am newly and oldly diagnosed (long story) but I'm told it's more common than we think also, I'm starting to think it's more of an emotional disease for me. There is no cure for HSV. Take care Hugs!!!

I have not had a difficulty with shaving....but oddly, I've only had 1 recognizable on that sent me to seek a treatment and diag...I think everyone reacts differently. I am vegetarian, try to eat organic, that might be helping the situation (I don't know)

I do not like the moral responsibility of sharing my h diagnosis, but the partner should know.

I recently read almost the same story as this when I hit Google, monogamous 30 year marriage...I struggle with my new hsv2 diagnosis....an old chart from decades ago strongly indicates I was in the er with hsv2, although back then i wasn't formally diagnosed with it. It boggles my mind as much as it does yours Good luck with everything Hugs!!

@WCSDancer2010.....this is why you are a mod...from your tough love response to your recent time out response....it was always kind...compassionate, non judgentmental...and I can tell you are passionate about this disease both on a personal and professional level, thank you for your input...reading prior to your input I could tell it could of got "ugly" fast. I told affair thru Facebook chat, not the greates of places, but one less person I had to face...I advised him to seek testing.,.he hasn't spoken to me since...not a peep..my hubby, I always knew he loved me unconditionally, I have developed an emotional disconnect...my last divorce did a number on me, not sure why I remarried...we shall see how this goes... @2Legit2Quit thanks for opening up on your experiences thru the thread...it helps. No, I did not disclose about the affairs...why? To set myself free, at his expense? Not for me, what he doesn't know will not hurt him...I've hurt him enough...enough is enough. I have my secrets and will leave it at that. @Anna01 you are right...trying to communicate thru text or type can be extremely difficult...people can interpret things their own way and put a spin on words just based on their mood, that's why most of my long time net friends (I have one of 10 years I've never met in real life) I graduated to phone...but we try our best and above I think you did great...hugs!!! I do shut off emotion as a coping mechanism, you are correct....I really don't know any other way..I do randomly start crying...and sometimes at the oddest of times...but it is what it is. I remember when I first told my bestie...I was crying, the shame and humiliation I felt...after that I was driving down the road(days later).a car was crossing over in my lane...and I started to tear...I wanted him to hit me...noooo id never harm myself, but the thought "just please hit me and get this over with"....was there for that brief moment...so yes, I can be very cold...very cold...but sometimes it's the only way I can function. Hugs!!

And btw...the above point on disclosure for hsv1 vs hsv 2 disclosure is a good point...hsv1 can cause gential herpes...so it really should be a moral understanding across the board...herpes is herpes.

Well...I'm not going to chime in and be cocky and condescending...this is your decision, your life, your conscience....whatever you decide, you and others might have to suffer the consequences of your behavior....that's on you my friend. Good luck xo

I was on antiviral therapy at recent time of diagnosis, but now I am taking the holistic approach, for as long as I can.. You can still have sex and take precautions...the ladies here are better with the stats than I am about condom usage and suppressive therapy. Hugs!!

Thank you so much for the post and tips I disclosed...I tried to be as delicate as possible, emotionally prepared for the worst, 1 is no longer speaking to me (hopefully that won't last forever) and hubby is supportive. Hugs!!

Let me take this one step at a time @2Legit2Quit and @Anna01 in case i need to remind everyone...i am newly diagnosed...or "new" to me....So compassion at its highest is needed and appreciated...Everything that has been said in this thread and what ive read in other threads have been absorbed...I am a complex person...Only my long time best friends understand me, so I certainly dont expect anyone here to just because we are dealing with the same disease...we do not react the same...I can shut down emotion as quicky as i put it on...I often viewed this as a curse...I still think it might be. I go from crying one minute and wanting to hide in silence to "hey lets discuss this"...I found out pretty quickly which one was here just for sex (my so called long term friend) and my husband...I have not talked to my friend since....I do feel bad for his wife...She is actually a kind person....One i know...One i stood and had convos with....knowing what we were doing.(affair).Once in a while id feel guilt, but not usually....I know...very shitty..shame on me.....We were both being selfish...missing things in our marriage and finding it in eachother....My husband "i dont care, even if it was deadly i wouldnt protect, we would die together"....which actually made me very very sad...I always held high moral standards...never cheated....Lonliness drove me out into the cheating arena.(no excuse)..i got caught up in a world i never belonged in due to an emotional disconnect from hubby......so part of me does think i deserve this...I am being punished for my behavior. My reasons were not sex related...i wanted to feel loved and equated it to sex...(see crying...THIS is why i didnt want to get into this GRRRRRR) I also had a hard time swallowing discolsure because i had to take full blame....On "assumptions"....and coming from a factual person...I still struggle with that..wondering was it me...or wasnt it me...mind boggling...too late...i took the fall for it all. I did NOT want to discuss any of this emotional torment any longer...That is why i brushed it off here...and went to ask questions that were factual based...in terms of contracting and protecting others. I understand you were lied to (Anna) or maybe both (sorry 2Legit)....BUT i didnt lie to anyone...i honestly didnt know what happened years ago "could be" herpes...Trust me...if i did...i would of been pro active with the birth of my children for treatment...Thank God they are fine...BUT...i should of been more educated back then on what they thought it was. Not just sent along my merry way like it was no big deal. Im not putting guilt trips on anyone to answer me...But i need interaction...So if i cant get the support i need here....i will venture to other sites...I have been online for years..dealing with different types of support groups...and various sites...so i wasnt used to going that long without a response...Not that i was being demanding...Just something i have yet to experience...Maybe this is a small site...with very few members that interact...I can also be sympathic to those needs as well....My friend is a mod on another site..(not H related)....However...this is the first H site i joined. @chikitta13 I could not get my pcp nor obgyn to order the blood work...I did decide to go out of the area for my H treatment and seek a clinic about an hour away...The soonest apt i could get is mid October, 2 months after my swab...Im still hoping to get the blood test...just because i want to. Not sure why. Im sorry to both of you....on how you were exposed...sounds deceitful...But.... @Anna01 a statement like this ...One thing: This is something I CHOOSE to do. I am not paid to put my emotions and time aside to be a counselor Does that sound like a supportive comment? I listen to my friends all the time....and give my feedback....I wouldnt dream of coming back with a statement like that... If they are here...or we are here....it obiously means we are seeking support... You dont have to answer me, nor respond...I am grateful you do...grateful you share..BUT thats not counseling....thats being a kind friend. I think ive written enough... Thanks again for your feedback....and sharing. Hugs to all!

Just dropping by with another hug....for no other reason..just because :)

I'm not looking for anything but friendship, someone that shares a common ground, H2....I think it helps tremendously to chat to someone who has been there/done that....I don't have that yet...but I'm confident I will ;)

I was recently diagnosed myself..and also in my forties...I think I've had h2 for decades, but who knows...I'm also told it is very common and we are certainly not alone...I hope you find your smiles everyday!!!

You seem to have a kind heart and spirit...I have no other comment than just sending hugs of support ;)

Unfortunately I can't comment too much on the cheating arena...I think we all have our reasons for doing what we do, and there are issues that need to be addressed just based on that fact alone. Whether it's a lie or not, for your own peace of mind, get tested like the above member stated....I also refrained completely from sex until disclosure.

@anna01, @WCSDancer2010, and @2Legit2Quit FIRST thanks for all responding NOW let me deal with your assumptions.... I have painfully started to disclose...did you think this was an easy process? I am a strong independent woman and was brought to my knees with the discovery of this disease.(like I have with other life matters along the road)..I needed to pick myself up, brush myself off and take care of my "mess",..... did anyone realize I needed to be strong for them? Their worlds were about to be turned upside down thanks to me, I didn't want to be a mess.,.i wanted to be their shoulder, whatever emotion they decided to throw at me,...I needed to be able to put my own selfish emotional needs aside for a minute and be their rock when I told them....in my world it was not a cut and dry process "hey I have a lifelong std that I just exposed to you!"...I needed to get myself in check...I did, and it's handled... I DO CARE for them, and part of caring for them was being solid emotionally for them!!!! It might of taken some time, and some wine nights.....moving forward..end of subject. So let me understand this, because everyone "assumed" I didn't disclose my medical questions went unanswered for almost 5 days from anyone? Priceless. Is that support? I understand we all have lives, but I have many things I am passionate about, and support many things both in my personal and online world, I don't pick and choose who to support based on their decisions or timeframe on handling things.... Earlier in this thread it was stated I was best to ask advice of others who went thru this versus my medical community. Thank you for the links, I do know most of these sites are volunteer, thank you for your time...ll be looking at links shortly Hugs!

I am very much interested in the natural approach, I am vegetarian and I try to eat organic as often as possible.. Thanks for the info ;)

I'm a newly old diagnosed patient...I had my initial ob decades ago and no problems until recent which sent me for testing and confirmed I was hsv2 positive...I have children, a family...everyone reacts differently... You can think who gave it to you...like I did, but I'm not so sure we will ever know You are not alone...hugs!!

Im also hsv2 positive, pretty down about it also...but I know there will always be love!! Chin up and try and smile ;) Hugs!!

Since sept 24....I have had not one feedback from anyone...granted...I found all my answers, but I thought this was an interactive website...just an observation

I did get my answer to my question above from reading around the forums I'm interest now in transmission of hsv2 if no intercourse is involved...just outside genital to genital transmission ( female to male, my ob was inside) Do we have a specific forum I can look at it category I can search in about transmission? Or do I go to dreaded Google? Thanks ;)

@Anna01,thank you for the additional feedback and the hugs ;) All personal issues aside..I have questions (rather ask people that have gone thru it) What about physical signs? Yes I know everyone can be different.... I also know what prompted me to seek treatment this time, but...my ob was inside...I saw one pimple outside at the time, Who knows now what that was.. But other than extreme distress, how the hell will I know when I have an ob? Sometimes knowing is worse than not knowing....I don't want to be running to the doctor...wanting him to put me up on the table every time I think there is a problem...according to my labs I'm also in menopause (i am mid forties)....that adds to my "what is it?" Urghhhh

Well...glad to read I'm not alone in all these feelings I am newly (or veteran) diagnised(long story irrelevant) I also had the lash out revenge feelings....I am married...I am a cheater...the same for my partner/s It is only the innocent ones that keep me silent and at bay.

Thank you so much for the input....and the hugs !! I know my behavior is part of an underlying problem...I've also trusted my husband several times with personal family matters (sometimes asking him not to repeat, other times I didn't think I had to say that urgh)....and it was like posting a telegraph...he's aired things on Facebook, at his job.....I'll figure it out...I know hubs and current affair need to know...I've received great advice above. I do not think Google is my friend anymore...I've read so much on h I feel sick...I've read as time goes on it can weaken your immune system making it easier for opportunic infections in. To be continued..... Hugs !!