hippyherpy

How do you define the difference between Prodromes and an outbreak? And outbreak is indicated by the presence of blisters filled with transparent liquid, right?

This website suggests only 2-3 days after an outbreak. I've had doctors who have told that once blisters are scabbed over, the big risk is down to asymptomatic levels. Use a condom and take some Valtrex to give your partners best odds.

Go see a doctor.

If you are on Valtrex, how long after you have an outbreak are you highly contagious? Does Valtrex even affect that time period or intensity? Also, is it possible to the difference between an outbreak and other rash causing things like vigorous sex or condoms being too tight and making friction or whatever?

I'm skeptical too of the studies where a tiny percentage of couples are using Valtrex, condoms, and no breakouts, but are still somehow passing it on. It's as if they are trying to keep the stigma alive. I've had three medical professionals tell me that it is virtually impossible to pass it on if you are taking meds, using using condoms, and not having breakouts. I also know people who were married to someone with herpes and didn't get it from them even without Valtrex going raw. And someone whose ex-wife was on Valtrex and they humped her raw for few years and didn't get it. Things that make you go hmmmmmmn..

Adrian, 2legit posted something a while back that said that cd4 cells present even after the outbreak make it 3x more likely even without the presence blisters. There's a YouTube clip with that Dr. Corey I think where he explains it.

I think that the first herpes outbreak can accompanied by some fever like symptoms. HIV usually takes a while to hit, and unless you are sharing needles or having sex with high risk populations, then it is unlikely that you will come into contact with HIV.

Your friend doesn't know what she's talking. Don't get hurt by words. Stick with facts. There are man many people who willingly get hitched with herpes person.

One good thing about having a reactive thing connected your nervous system is that it can let you know if you are stressed even if you don't consciously realize it. For example, you might be sublimating emotional pain and not be aware of it, but the herpes could act up and let you know. Then you can make an effort to change whatever it is in your life that is bothering. This is just another silver lining to herpes.

I've disclosed to everyone since I've got diagnosed. Maybe the problem isn't that you have herpes, but that you've only tried dating three people in the last 11 years. Increase the number of people you are meeting and you are more likely to find someone who doesn't care. At the very least, take suppressive meds and use condoms with people you don't know that well like a "random" hook up. Also consider that you could be catching things from them like HIV now that you have herpes which increases the risk of getting it by 3 times if you com into contact with it. I've had doctors tell me not to disclose if it is a girl I just met at a bar, but to disclose if the relationship is evolving or if we are going to not use condoms. This website is all about disclosing. In the end, it is up to you and how you would feel about it. There are a whole bunch of people who have herpes and they don't disclose because they don't know they have it. I sometimes wonder if they are just as "guilty" for not getting blood tests etc. Then there are many people with herpes who know but don't disclose. I'm pretty sure that we here on this website represent the minority of herpes carriers that disclose. Everyone has different reasons for why they might disclose. Some people might be afraid of legal action, some people will disclose because they truly believe it is the right thing to do, and other might disclose to prove a point. I do think that amount that do disclose are a drop in the bucket. Not enough to bring about massive social change on the perceptions of herpes. Then there are people who genital HSV 1 who don't feel like they have to disclose. If herpes hit the same percentages as HPV or HSV 1 oral as far as people infected goes, then this debate my change to be more like those where people say you don't have to bring it up. It would be interesting if there was a national herpes register that people could access online or through an app. Then it would put the burden of responsibility on the un-infected partner because they'd have a choice to look it up or not.

To me the worst part of having the herpes chat is that it's boring. And having to do it every time is annoying. Like being in the movie Groundhog Day.

My PCP said this regarding disclosure.. If you use condoms and take daily meds, to not disclose with one night stands, and to only disclose if the relationship progresses or you and your partner decide to not use condoms. The idea being that's why people use condoms in the first place and on a one night stand, the person knows that. Both my PCP and Urologist also said that it's really almost impossible to transmit when I don't have a breakout especially since I'm using meds. Interesting..

You'd be surprised at how many people have STDs but don't tell. Then you disclose you got herpes and they are like "oh.. well I had HPV CIN 1 on my cervix a year ago, but it cleared" And you are like- was she going to tell me that if I didn't tell her I had herpes? There are a lot of people out there with STDs but a small minority that will actually disclose. The people disclose tend to be more mature like over 30 years old.

I take Valtrex and Lysine.. I believe that it sucks up all your water.

haha funny thread title.

Because the risk is much lower if you don't have an out break. It even lower with meds.. so some people leave out condoms.

I take Valtrex daily surpressive dose- 1pill I think it's 4-500mg. Diagnosed sept 2015. Haven't had any outbreaks since.

If you aren't using condoms or surpressive medication, assume that the person is gong to get it instead of thinking they won't get it.

Sometimes you don't want to chill with someone. Maybe they know you have herpes. Anyone here ever use herpes as an excuse to not hang with someone? I saw something where it looked like 2 legit to quit tried to do that, but I think a lot more people are probably doing it too. What is your experience essentially saying " I can't hang tonight because my herpes virus is acting up tonight" kind of thing?

Optimist, I more scared of getting HIV now than giving someone herpes because it's 3x more likely to get HIV on your area of outbreak for the rest of your life.

Here's the thing about casual sex and herpes.. Most people don't know, but they are probably already doing it if they have a casual sex lifestyle. Either they have herpes and are unaware, or they've had sex with someone who has herpes already.. those are the odds. Kissing, blow-jobs, eating out? HSV 1 HSV 2 is at 1/4 in some places in the country. NYC comes to mind and New Orleans is another area high in Herpes.. both kinds of places are known for rampant casual sex. It's Vday- Valentines/Valtrex . I've been on Valtrex since September and I don't notice any issues really. I also do casual sex. I get rejected because of herpes sometimes, but it's "casual" sex which it's not a big deal, and there are many many more fish in the sea. With meds and condoms, it is HIGHLY unlikely you are going to transmit if you aren't having an outbreak. Most herpes is transmitted by people who don't know they have it, so they aren't taking meds and might not be using condoms. It's the same chance of dying in a car accident but people do that anyway: https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf Here are some risk scales for other things in life: http://www.riskcomm.com/visualaids/riskscale/datasources.php Check this out

Thanks for starting this thread. I'm female and find value in it as I'm also in more of a stage of life where casual and temporary is most appealing. However, I wouldn't be comfortable disclosing this in the heat of the moment. I've been on the receiving end of that and wished I'd had more time to think it through (though it is unlikely to have been the time I contracted HSV). I can relate to what you said about thinking condoms were protecting you. I think there needs to be more education around that. Maybe the issue is more wishful thinking than lack of education though. I don't know. I had sex with two herpes girls before getting my own herpes. They both disclosed in the heat of the moment and I went with it. Maybe I'm not the example because I'm not like the average man in these regards.

Got rejected to do herpes last night. You might be asking why I'm posting it here, a thread about success. I'm posting it here because even though herpes stigma cockblocked me, I wasn't torn up about it. This to me is as successful as having sex in someways. I can move on to the next chick or this chick might come around. What can get some people is the shock of having new information. You can explain how low the risk is, and how they might have a higher chance of getting it from some random person, and they might get that, but there is a superstition that has nothing to with logic that needs to be overcome. I call it narcissism. It's like people who think or fear that a UFO would come visit them. Why would a UFO come visit you? Are you really that special? So special that you'd defeat the very low odds. I'm not saying that it's impossible to get herpes via sex with Valtrex and condoms, but anyone who is willing to get into a car but won't have have sex with you because of herpes is taking a hippocritical position. They are so wrapped up in their solipsistic self-narrative, that they can't accept the logic of situation so fast. Everything is decided from an emotional view. This girl even recognized that and admitted it- she got freaked out and her mind went spinning on the subject. It was a little funny to watch actually. Crazy thing about last night is that the girl had hsv1 oral already, and has another lover who she goes down on. She told me she was worried about having sex with me because of her having to maybe one day explain to the guy that she willingly had sex with a herpes man. I had to explain to her that she's already putting the guy at risk for genital herpes. Anyway, I'm getting a better understanding of how how and why some people freak out. It's very revealing moment at times. Essentially, for some people who tend to over analyze, telling them you herpes can kick the brains into a dizzying overdrive. Things were going smooth and you might have just have been about to have sex and then they are introduced to a new twist. Here's the gist of herpes disclosure: I've got this thing, it's not a big deal for me and for most people who have it, and the chances of you getting it from me are super low, comparable to getting into a car accident. I've had some people sort of tell me, or I can see them thinking: "if it's not a big deal why did you tell me?" They are glad that I told them but also concerned that I had to tell them. To this my answer is to reframe it: Going forward, I will be sure to preface my disclosure in a way so as not to say "I HAVE to tell you something" Here are some reframes: About to have sex, like right before genitals are going to come out: "before we go any further, I want to tell you something. I have herpes. Do you know anything about that?" The idea is that you aren't doing it because you "have" to, but because you "want" to. Truth is you don't "have" to do anything, but you chose to disclose because you want to disclose. The difference is one is framed as coming from a place of fear of repercussion or whatever while the other offers more positive possibilities for why you are disclosing. I believe this might help to pre-empt any anxiety that might arise from them thinking "if it isn't such a big deal, why does he have to tell me?" Most people are afraid of herpes specifically because they are afraid that one day they might "have to" tell people they have it. They are afraid of rejection. Now, maybe I've been lucky and had streak of disclosure successes and will hit a wall or something, but I don't think that is the case. I'm not afraid of getting rejected because I know I have other options, and have no problem exploring them. I tell people I have herpes because I want to. Anyone could easily not tell their partners.. Let's talk about non-disclosure for a second: You could take all the precautions and not tell and their risk of getting it is the same as the risk if you do tell- very low. Also they could be getting it from some other "random" person. It is very easy to rationalize not disclosing. When I disclose, it's because I want to. I'd rather look back and say that happened in spite of stigma. The opposite would be to look back and say I didn't tell because I was afraid of getting rejected. For me it has almost become a matter of pride to tell because I see not telling as a sign of weakness. How many other people out there can say they have herpes, they tell people about it, and are still able to have have a lot of sex? I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I see that as a personal accomplishment at this point, barely half a year from my diagnosis. I hope that what I'm doing here can and will help to inspire other people in my situation. Then we can really help to put the stigma down. In many ways herpes disclosure has become an important aspect of my sex life. I could have sex with her or not, and it doesn't have much an effect on my confidence. -------- And to take it even another step forward, for those of you are thinking outside of the mortal coil.. take rejection to the extreme.. let's say you never get sex ever again because of herpes stigma. It's not going kill you to not have sex. To go even further- let's say it does have some effect on your mortality.. we are all going to die anyway, so don't fear that. We were dead before we were born and we will return that when we die. That's my ultimate zen take on the situation. Of course I'm a red blooded mortal man who definitely does have some attachments to sex so I usually defer to an abundance mentality as a source of confidence, but sometimes these kinds of zen type thoughts just mentioned can be useful as well.

No, defeats the purpose.

Did it again. European girl who is a friend of mine. We hung out and I was not even planning to have sex with her but one thing led to another and we are in my bed and babymakers are entering the scene. I tell her I'm stricken with H. nah I didn't say stricken but I gave her my schpiel as outlined in previous posts in this thread. She was down- she's on birth control and told me she don't got no stds.. I know she hasn't had sex in a while. We even hit it raw at one point. Beautiful chick. Another graduate from the Halls of Herpy Hippy disclosure university! Woot!