HikingGirl

Try a powdered magnesium supplement...the kind you stir into a drink. I use Calm (available at While Foods and Amazon) to help relax my muscles to help me sleep, but the maximum recommended dose definitely has a laxative effect. It also was handy after I had surgery last year, as constipation is a common side effect of general anesthesia. Might be a good short-term solution until you can get in to see your doc.

Hmmm. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I've read so much information and can barely hold all of it in my brain! If you're not having obvious symptoms, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. Easy to say but hard to do--I know. You could just as easily be negative. And if it's positive in two months or two years, I'm here to tell you you'll be okay. {{hugs}}

Since the blood test measures antibodies your body makes in response to the virus, I highly doubt a yeast infection would skew the results. The way this test is done, virtually no one gets a zero. Your number falls into a gray zone, so to speak. So retesting in a couple of months with another IgG is a great idea.

At the time I looked into it, UW was not sending out kits and the paperwork was very confusing to me. My own healthcare provider was clueless about herpes and I didn't trust her to order the test correctly. I opted to go through Terri Warren for convenience and ease.

@Angryandhurt Keep in mind that cold sores on or around the mouth are generally HSV1, not HSV2. While it's increasingly common to get genital HSV1 from someone who has oral HSV1 (as a result of receiving oral sex), it's *extremely rare* to develop a cold sore from HSV2. Likewise, unless you had a positive swab test along with a negative blood test, and you didn't have any other partners with in the previous 16 weeks, it's possible you either had an existing infection or received the virus from someone else. The vast majority of adults already have oral HSV1, so you will be encountering this situation again. To be clear, I don't advocate not telling a partner about one's HSV status. At the same time, I think it's valuable to be well informed--even if that's later rather than sooner (I know that was the case for me!) At the end if the day, it's not our job to police the morality of others. I get that the urge is coming from a place of hurt and betrayal. But advertising this person's status does absolutely nothing for the person that matters: you. No matter how hard we try, nothing we say or do is going to convince others to act in accordance with our values. *Maybe* you prevent HSV for this one person. But in all likelihood, he already has a strain of HSV, you look like the sad, bitter ex, and the girl goes on doing her thing no matter what you say.

I second what @optimist said. Also, you may find it helpful to discuss the encounter with a trusted counselor. The circumstances you described (not wanting sex and feeling pressured into it) may be fueling your anger in addition to the herpes. {{hugs}}

Hi, @MS123. It's true that a blood test is your only option if you want to definitively confirm whether or not you have HSV in the absence of lesions. There are countless reasons you could have the symptoms you do--some medical, some psychological. Keep in mind that it can take up to 16 weeks post-exposure to test positive on a blood test. Some people with the virus will create enough antibodies to test positive much sooner, but by 16 weeks, 97% of people who have the virus will test positive. Be sure to ask for an IgG blood test, as the IgM test is notoriously unreliable. If the two doctors you saw do not want to order the blood test, then find a new doctor. It really is that simple! Otherwise you're just going to drive yourself crazy. :-)

Hi, @Esquire26, and welcome. The only way to know for sure if this is an existing infection or new infection is to have an IgG blood test done immediately. If the swab comes back positive for HSV and the blood test comes back negative, it's a new infection (because it can take up to 16 weeks for your body to produce enough antibodies to the virus to test positive on a blood test). It is possible for someone to have the virus for years and then have a noticeable outbreak years later, but I've never seen any statistics on that. Nearly 90% of people with genital HSV2 have no noticeable outbreaks, or their symptoms are so mild they're attributed to something else. I acquired it 18-25 years before getting the diagnosis and had no idea. Looking back, I attributed my mild symptoms to yeast infections. Because I've never had a primary outbreak and I don't get ulcers, I'm not in a good spot to offer advice on how long the healing process is or how to manage the pain. I would just encourage you to browse these forums as its a topic discussed pretty frequently. The search bar above is your friend, as are the FAQs at the top of the threads. Whether or not you continue with antivirals after your outbreak has healed is up to you. There are two reasons to take them: (1) prevent or greatly reduce future outbreaks, and (2) reduce the chances of transmission to an H negative partner. Keep in mind that some of us have found one brand to be really effective, but another brand not effective at all, so don't be afraid to try a different antiviral if you want. Because most people don't have symptoms--and thus don't know they have HSV--and it's not routinely tested for, plus you body silently sheds the virus from either the boxer shorts region or the mouth (depending on where you have it), that's how it is spread so easily. Taking a daily antiviral reduces chances of transmission by half, and using condoms reduce it another 30-50%. The e-book and handouts on this site talk more about transmission rates. There is no way to eliminate the risk of transmission entirely. Along those same lines, transmission is not always a given. It tends to happen early on in a reationship. I have both genital HSV2 and oral HSV1. (I'm assuming the location of HSV1 since I've never had a cold sore but that's statistically most likely.) I was married for 15 years and diagnosed after my divorce. I told my ex and he tested negative for both. That means I acquired it years earlier from one of a handful of short-term partners who I always used condoms with. Go figure! A really great place to start for more information is these two links: http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ (I highly recommend Warren's full book, available in Kindle format on Amazon.) A diagnosis can be a big shock--I know it was for me! And I sincerely hope your outbreak heals soon. Meanwhile, welcome again....you'll learn a lot from these forums. Including the fact that your life is not over and you *will* be okay. :) {{hugs}}

Hi, @membersonly. A primary outbreak often occurs within 2-10 days of acquiring the virus. Moreover, it is possible to have the virus for a long time and then have an outbreak out of nowhere, but the first scenario is probably a little more likely. The only way to know for certain if you just acquired HSV is if you tested positive on a swab test and negative on an IgG blood test. If you had sex with both men within a couple week span, then the only way to know who gave it to you is if you have the positive swab/negative blood test described above and both men are tested and one is positive and one is negative. In all reality, you may never know who your giver was. Having the talk can be really scary when you've just been diagnosed yourself. Adrial has lots of great resources here on this website about disclosing, and you'll find others stories on this forum in the disclosure category at left. {{hugs}}

Hi, @Amar, and welcome. Most people who have HSV2 don't have symptoms (or they're so mild they're mistaken for other things), so you're in good company. In my opinion, one of the best things you can do is to simply educate yourself about herpes, so you understand how it works in the body, what affects transmission and outbreaks, etc. This site is a great place to start, especially with the FAQ links above. Browsing through the forum here you'll also see references to other sites. Happy reading!

It's awesome that he ordered the western blot for you. Sounds like he has some experience with this then. I feel your frustration with the conflicting information. At the end of the day, there are a lot of gray areas with herpes and everyone has their own opinions. That's why I'm a fan of the western blot....it's black and white!

Anything above 1.1 is considered positive. That's probably the extent of your gynecologist's knowledge. Terri Warren, a nurse practitioner, herpes researcher, and former owner of an STD clinic for several decades says she's seen enough false positives for index values below 3.5 to recommend definitive testing with a western blot. Her book is available in Kindle format on Amazon, which is where I'm citing this information from. I'd be curious to know what kind of test your PCP ordered. The only blood test more specific than theIgG is the western blot. You might find this thread helpful: https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/8921/confusing-igg-results

Hi, @digitalmktggirl. Herpes is something that anyone can have, even acquiring it from their first sexual experience. So unless you and your husband definitively tested negative before getting married, it could just as easily be something either of you brought to the relationship. Also, one either has the virus or they don't. I don't know why doctors use the word exposed...perhaps they're trying to soften the blow because of the stigma? The index value you have is considered positive, but Terri Warren, an expert on HSV has seen a fair number of false positives when index values are below 3.5. You could try retesting with another IgG in a few months, or just go forward with a western blot. My HSV2 index value was 3.27. I had a western blot, and it confirmed I do have HSV2. Terri can help you order the test--most doctors aren't well versed in ordering it, and it's damn near impossible to figure out on your own. When I had it done about 18 mo ago, I think it was $250 and Terri made it extremely easy. Well worth the peace of mind to know for sure, if you ask me. You can find more info here: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/getting-a-western-blot/ 87% of those with HSV are unaware they have it because their symptoms are mild or nonexistent. When I was diagnosed about a year after divorcing, I chose to tell my ex and he tested negative. That meant I had both strains (1 and 2) for 18-25 years and not only had no idea, but did not give it to my ex. Transmission can be pretty easy in some respects (I used condoms with every partner before getting married), but it's not a given! You can also find good basic information here: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ Either way, I can say with confidence your life is far from over. :)

Extremely unlikely. Canker sores are not herpes. The easiest way to get out of panic mode is to get educated about herpes, because you will encounter it again. https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/

@bennilenni It is really hard to be kind to ourselves when we've made a mistake--no doubt about that! Hindsight is always 20/20, right? But as the saying goes, "The windshield is bigger than the rear-view mirror because where you're going is more important than where you've been." If you know for certain this is the guy gave you HSV, you think he may be unaware of his status, and you think he'd actually give a shit to know, then it may make sense to let him know about your status so he can tested and aware of his status. That's a two-sentence e-mail that you don't expect a reply to. But for me, whenever I start talking about wanting to confront someone, it's usually because I want revenge, I'm looking for an apology I'm never going to get, or I'm hoping I can persuade them to be an honest person with high integrity. Given your description of this guy as cold and uncaring, I think you'll get a higher return by investing your time and energy into what you can control--you! {{hugs}}

Hi, @thsbtch. Is it possible you could have acquired the viruses before your ex? I only mention it because I found out I also have HSV1 and HSV2 about a year after my divorce. I told my ex-husband of 15 years and he tested negative for both. I probably acquired HSV1 as a child or teenager like many people, but that meant I must have picked up HSV2 from one of a handful of partners I had before my ex-husband and didn't realize it all that time because my symptoms were so mild. (And who knows--maybe your ex does have HSV and has never been tested or is just in denial. I just throw that out there to say that transmission between two partners is not always a given. I'm still surprised by it!)

Thanks for sharing your experience, @NothingGoodGetsAway. Since I'm not dating at the moment and haven't disclosed to anyone but my ex-husband and a guy I was seeing at the time I was diagnosed, I'm always fascinated by disclosure stories. I'm not sure whether "I'm sorry" (rejection sucks) or "congratulations!" (those poor dogs!) is appropriate here, but you know what I mean. :) Either way, I really admire that you put yourself out there. And who knows if waiting would have done any good, right? I once heard someone say that rejection just means the relationship was never going to be a good fit, and the other person just realized it first. I've always liked that perspective. I can't remember if I've shared this quote on here before, but your post made me think of it, so forgive me if I'm repeating myself: "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood ... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...". -Theodore Roosevelt

Hi, @Angryandhurt, and welcome. It's time to find a new doctor and ask for an IgG blood test (not IgM) to see if you truly have HSV or not, and if so, learn which type you have. It's possible you don't have herpes at all, and the sore in your mouth was unrelated. (It is possible.....I tested positive for HSV1 and HSV2 about a year after my divorce--I had no clue I'd acquired it 20 years earlier. I told my ex-husband of 15 years and he tested negative for both soon after.) Regardless of the outcome of future testing, this is an excellent time to learn more about herpes and how it's transmitted. Condoms help prevent transmission, but it's not a guarantee since the virus can exit the skin (without any symptom whatsoever) anywhere in the boxer shorts region and infect a partner as a result. A great place to start is this website and also this short handbook: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ There is an excellent chance you will run into HSV again. 87% of those infected have no idea they have HSV because they don't have symptoms and most doctors don't include it in an STI panel. The vast majority of American adults have oral HSV1, but only a third of them ever have a cold sore. Transmitting oral HSV1 to the genitals through oral sex is becoming much more common, although acquiring oral HSV2 from someone who has genital HSV2 is extremely rare. This infograhic shows just how prevalent the viruses are: http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ From one divorcee to another: deleting your ex from social media feels pretty amazing. You'll want to use that time and energy to make your own life even more awesome than it already is, with or without herpes. :)

That's good to hear!

Got it. So if you both had IgG tests in May, testing negative for both HSV1 and HSV2, and neither of you had any other partners in the 16 weeks prior to that blood test (or since), I can't think of any scenario that would lead me to think you could have HSV now.

Good to hear from you, @ann1626! It made my day to read that you've left the abusive relationship you were in. That takes a lot of courage and I really respect that. It's common for doctors to want to see you about once a year to renew medication. I've had mild asthma for nearly 20 years and I still have to go in yearly just to show my face so I can get my inhaler renewed.

Hi, @isthishsv21. So your last IgG blood test in May of 2017 was negative for HSV2 and the last time you had sex or any kind of genital-to-genital contact was January of 2017? If so, you don't have HSV2. By the time you get to 16 weeks after possible exposure, virtually everyone with the virus will have built up enough antibodies to test positive on a blood test. It is possible to get HSV1 genitally from receiving oral sex. Tons of people have oral HSV1 and most have never had a cold sore, so if you've received oral sex recently, that's something to consider, but honestly......it could be anything! Even medical doctors suck at trying to visually diagnose something like herpes. When your appointment comes around, if you're still concerned about HSV, just ask for an IgG blood test (the IgM tests are notoriously inaccurate).

Some people have gotten it from one encounter....one of many examples of how unpredictable the virus is. And you're welcome. We learn more as a community than we ever could on our own!

Everyone is a little different. I have no recollection of a primarily outbreak and was diagnosed two decades after acquiring it and had no idea all that time. I thought I was just cursed with a lot of yeast infections. It is possible to have it for a long time and then have an outbreak out of nowhere, as others have described on these forums. That said, there are a LOT of things which will cause various symptoms with our genitals. It's easy to jump to the herpes conclusion once you learn how prevalent it is. Just take it one day at a time and get tested if you're concerned. Otherwise you'll drive yourself insane wondering!

Kudos to you, @Manc182! I have such admiration for people who find the courage to do hard things. I've said before that I'm a big Brene Brown fan, and your post perfectly describes what she calls "foreboding joy," one of the shields we use to protect ourselves from being vulnerable (the other two being perfectionism and numbing). Foreboding joy is "waiting for the other shoe to drop." We are afraid of being vulnerable because we fear a bad result, and we want to beat it to the punch. Unfortunately, it has also has a way of stealing the most important moments of our lives unless we find ways to celebrate small successes and practice gratitude often (which I also hear in your post). You inspire me!