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You all gave me the courage to disclose that I have herpes

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so in my previous post, I gave myself the deadline of this past thursday to disclose. my boyfriend and I have "date days" on our mutual day off, so it seemed like the perfect time...we met up, went shopping, and decided to explore a side of the city we never really took the time to before.


fast forward through a perfect fall day and a lovely dinner out.


back at his place with a bottle of wine, I felt like my heart was about to beat it's way out of my chest. it took me a half hour to collect my thoughts, recite for the last time in my head what I needed and wanted him to know, and keep calm...and as soon as I blurted out "there's something important I need you to know about me, and I care about you deeply and want to be as open and honest in our relationship as possible in order to move forward. I have herpes"...I instantly started rambling off stats due to nerves before he could respond, and he quietly let me finish.


his response? "........so. that's it?" just like that. he told me he couldn't imagine having something weighing on his chest for that long without going crazy, and he was proud and honored I had the courage to (finally) speak up. oh, and how silly I was to think a skin condition would scare him off. I couldn't help but cry. he couldn't help but smile and hug me.


I can't even begin to describe how lucky I feel to have found this site, and this community. you have all given me the courage to do what's right, and the hope that there's a reason for everything that happens in our lives. here's to learning from the past, living in the present, and looking forward to the future with a positive perspective. thank you all so much.

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Wow mariii! I'm glad it went so well, but even if he would have reacted just the opposite from how he did, I really want to honor you for doing the courageous thing and vulnerably disclosing about herpes to him. And it seems that he likes you for all the right reasons and sees the strength in your vulnerability. Enjoy your shameless relationship! Big hug! ;)

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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Congratulations marii!! *high five* That is so awesome. I am so happy for you that he reacted so positively and so happy that you were able to have an honest and open conversation about something that we all know is so hard to talk about. I know all too well how hard it is to do. The more you like someone, the harder it gets to say because "what if". He is obviously a very smart man who knows a good thing and won't let a stupid virus get in the way of a wonderful thing. :) I wish you both many blessings!!


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My heart is bursting Marii!!! Go you! I am sooo proud of you! I have been sending you good thoughts and had a feeling it would go this way...from your post I could sense your courage was stronger than your fear, and that you had a good man. You took the risk not knowing the outcome and despite your fear...that is intergrity :-) Now enjoy overcoming the fear and having an even deeper connection with your man :-) Hugest hugs to you.x

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WOOOOOOOOO!!! and Wow! That's beautiful. I'm so happy for you. Gives a lot of us newcomers who are still in shock and can't see much of a future just a little bit of hope. I can't even imagine how good of a feeling that was, perhaps it was relief, happiness and sweetness on a level you would never have known without having gone through a cold and bitter period as you did. So kudos, and up top! When you share about this, it's a victory to every person fighting to keep their heads up (like me) when they know it'd be easier to give up, so please keep posting about this great change you made!


This is about YOU and what you managed to get for yourself through all the pain and suffering. So congratulations, your guy is lucky, as you yourself have enough 'balls' for the two of you. Though, as a guy, I should follow that with a quote that honors all you lioness women everywhere...


"Why do people say "grow some balls" when they mean toughen up? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” - Sheng Wang


Keep it up and stay beautiful.

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How lovely Marii, congratulations. How relieved you must be feeling, not to mention thrilled that you have such a companion who is already proving himself worthy of you.

Loved the quote from Sheng Wang, will quote that one myself! love to all, Rosie

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thanks again guys, seriously. lively, you were the kick in the butt I needed. newone, we've been together since march...the fact that we work together made disclosing that much more intimidating, but there comes a point when you realize your own self worth (the kind you had before, just coming face to face with knowing who you are with or without a skin condition). that's when you're ready. justanotherone, we're all in this together. no matter how new or experienced you are with this, support and strength make all the difference. <3

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I will never get tired of hearing stories like this! Why is it so ingrained in us that something so inconsequential has to be a deal-breaker?! Why are we so convinced that we are damaged and not worthy of love?! Ughh it makes me crazy!! And it seems that, more often than not, when we connect with a person and share our dirty little secret, the response is "that's it? I thought you were going to tell me..." It's nothing! No big deal! My god, how much worse it could be! Like lelani, my heart is bursting and I am just thrilled for you mariii!! And for all of us. Thanks so much for sharing and I wish you all the best!!

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  • 4 months later...

So happy for you! :) Thank you for sharing! Congrats. I had a similar story to yours. :) Doesn't it feel amazing to know you've found someone so caring that they can see past something the world is so set in stigmatizing cause they know how great you are? I call my boyfriend my guardian angel. He seriously has been as long as we've been together. He's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I feel blessed every moment I spend with him and we're already making plans to build a future with our relationship being a big part of each other's lives even if we've become a long distance relationship recently. :)

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