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Casual sex and disclosure


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Consider this: How would you feel if the tables were turned and the other person reasoned that it's not necessary to disclose that they have HIV just because it's casual sex? It's just common human decency and integrity to disclose anything that might impact someone else's life. (And no, I'm not saying herpes is the same impact as HIV, just using this as a thought experiment.) 

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Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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@Next step,

I believe disclosing ought to be done before having sex. Thinking about it in reverse is right, how would you feel if someone else knowingly had HSV 2 and didn't disclose to you before sex, even if you didn't get it? I wouldn't not want someone risking my health without my knowledge no matter how slim the risk was. 

By the way, this doesn't mean casual sex is gone, it's just a little harder. I have heard success stories of people using causal dating apps, disclosing right away and having luck. There is also the positive singles dating website/app that allows you to meet other people with HSV. 

On another note, I don't understand why in the reverse roles mentioned above, they ask you to compare the situation using HIV. HSV is not the same or even comparable to HIV and to even see that people suggest using HIV as a comparison is scary. I don't know about you but I have been scared enough the past couple months, I surely don't need my HSV compared to HIV. The integrity one ought to have in disclosing does not change if it's simply HSV instead of HIV. The same message gets accross when you see the scenario using HSV which is what we are all dealing with. 

 Warmly,

Strength123

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34 minutes ago, Strength123 said:

On another note, I don't understand why in the reverse roles mentioned above, they ask you to compare the situation using HIV. HSV is not the same or even comparable to HIV and to even see that people suggest using HIV as a comparison is scary. I don't know about you but I have been scared enough the past couple months, I surely don't need my HSV compared to HIV. The integrity one ought to have in disclosing does not change if it's simply HSV instead of HIV. The same message gets accross when you see the scenario using HSV which is what we are all dealing with. 

I totally understand how it's not a fair comparison, so I apologize if that was too much for you or anyone, @Strength123. It's helpful to think in terms of all the things that people would disclose and the importance of integrity across the board, regardless of the STD. 

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Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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You know that contracting HIV and AIDS with the herpes goes up significantly because they are both viruses. Herpes is a virus that never goes away and our immune system is constantly trying to keep it at bay. I’m just saying I wouldn’t partake in casual sex. Seeing how most of us got Herpes from casual sex... just my two sense. 

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Hey @Jenn88 have you read the handout? 2% with just meds and 1% if you add in condoms. (This is assuming you’re having sex with a man.)

The handout goes into all the detail you should need. Here’s a link to that:

https://herpesopportunity.com/free-ebook-signup.html

Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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Hm, the link opens for me just fine. Anyone else able to open it?

Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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ALWAYS Disclose. I was not given the option of informed consent by the person who infected me (my ex-husband). I just found out 2 days ago that I have had H for at least the past 10-18 years and had no idea until I got tested prior to becoming intimate with the man I started dating (who has subsequently slammed on the brakes, backed up, and now wants to "be friends"). And I am ANGRY that he did this to me. I don't know how I would have responded if he had been honest, but he never gave me that opportunity.

Everyone deserves the right to be informed and to make their own decisions based on that information.

That doctor is violating the oath he took to "first, do no harm" by encouraging anyone with a communicable, life-long disease to not disclose to anyone they could potentially infect. And that pisses me off all over again.

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I agree News2GH and I agree with 100918.my sister is in the same boat your in (100918) she was seeing someone for six months they were dating and he cheated on her. now she has to live with this awful virus in her. had she known he was seeing someone else she would have dumped him.so I know what you mean.it pisses me off too that someone would cheat and then go back to there significant other.so I say always tell people about having this disease.

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This is why so many people have HSV and don't even know it.  It's because those of us that DO know we have it are too afraid to disclose. I think it's really ironic how many people are angry about getting HSV after someone didn't disclose to them and then turn around and decide NOT to disclose. 

 To respond to the topic, though... I have a friend recently diagnosed with HSV1 and her doctor literally said to her, "So don't tell anyone if you don't want to. It's not like you have HIV." 😮

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43 minutes ago, sarahsfocus said:

I have been trying to get my sister sue the person that gave her hsv2. Maybe I'm an angry person but I would want to kill the person that would give me hsv2.it really makes me mad that some people aren't responsible enough to get tested.when you have sex you should get tested.

I don’t think she can.  I think aids you can sue for bc your giving someone a life sentence sort to speak. But I dunno about hsv2 a lot of people

dont k ow they have it. You would have to prove the knowingly gave it to

you 

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