Casual sex and disclosure

[Next step]

I've had two doctors now suggest that disclosure is not required if I engage in casual sex with precautions . How do people feel about this ?

[_a_rayofsunshine_]

Disclosure is always necessary. I look at it as what if that person had HIV or AIDS, you would want them to disclose. Not disclosing is selfish & cruel. Some ppl will not care & still choose to have sex w/ u and others will respectfully decline & they should have that right to do so, by us disclosing before physical contact. 

[_a_rayofsunshine_]

Any doctor vouching for non disclosure is immoral & only looking to us to spread the disease to make their pockets fatter by having an influx of new patients needing prescriptions.

[mr_hopp]

Consider this: How would you feel if the tables were turned and the other person reasoned that it's not necessary to disclose that they have HIV just because it's casual sex? It's just common human decency and integrity to disclose anything that might impact someone else's life. (And no, I'm not saying herpes is the same impact as HIV, just using this as a thought experiment.) 

[Strength123]

@Next step,

I believe disclosing ought to be done before having sex. Thinking about it in reverse is right, how would you feel if someone else knowingly had HSV 2 and didn't disclose to you before sex, even if you didn't get it? I wouldn't not want someone risking my health without my knowledge no matter how slim the risk was. 

By the way, this doesn't mean casual sex is gone, it's just a little harder. I have heard success stories of people using causal dating apps, disclosing right away and having luck. There is also the positive singles dating website/app that allows you to meet other people with HSV. 

On another note, I don't understand why in the reverse roles mentioned above, they ask you to compare the situation using HIV. HSV is not the same or even comparable to HIV and to even see that people suggest using HIV as a comparison is scary. I don't know about you but I have been scared enough the past couple months, I surely don't need my HSV compared to HIV. The integrity one ought to have in disclosing does not change if it's simply HSV instead of HIV. The same message gets accross when you see the scenario using HSV which is what we are all dealing with. 

 Warmly,

Strength123

[mr_hopp]

34 minutes ago, Strength123 said:

On another note, I don't understand why in the reverse roles mentioned above, they ask you to compare the situation using HIV. HSV is not the same or even comparable to HIV and to even see that people suggest using HIV as a comparison is scary. I don't know about you but I have been scared enough the past couple months, I surely don't need my HSV compared to HIV. The integrity one ought to have in disclosing does not change if it's simply HSV instead of HIV. The same message gets accross when you see the scenario using HSV which is what we are all dealing with. 

I totally understand how it's not a fair comparison, so I apologize if that was too much for you or anyone, @Strength123. It's helpful to think in terms of all the things that people would disclose and the importance of integrity across the board, regardless of the STD. 

[Jenn88]

I would say disclose. I am mad thT I was not given a choice. The choice was made for me.... I wish that person would have told me 

[Notgoingthere]

You know that contracting HIV and AIDS with the herpes goes up significantly because they are both viruses. Herpes is a virus that never goes away and our immune system is constantly trying to keep it at bay. I’m just saying I wouldn’t partake in casual sex. Seeing how most of us got Herpes from casual sex... just my two sense. 

[Notgoingthere]

I think what the doctors meant is it’s not illegal if you don’t tell your sexual partner you have herpes. For aids and HIV it is illegal if the individual does not share their STD. But morally speaking it’s a good idea. 

[sarahsfocus]

this is how my sister was infected with hsv2 and it really pisses me off.people should disclose this horrible disease.

[Jenn88]

What are the odds of transmission with daily suppression meds? 

[sarahsfocus]

Adrial could tell you more about this than we could. but i'm sure on daily suppression meds would really lower your odds of transmission. just my opinion though.

 

[Jenn88]

@mr_hopp would u b able to answer this for me? 

[mr_hopp]

Hey @Jenn88 have you read the handout? 2% with just meds and 1% if you add in condoms. (This is assuming you’re having sex with a man.)

The handout goes into all the detail you should need. Here’s a link to that:

https://herpesopportunity.com/free-ebook-signup.html

[Jenn88]

Thank you!!

[Jenn88]

@mr_hopp won’t let me open the link 

[mr_hopp]

Hm, the link opens for me just fine. Anyone else able to open it?

[Jenn88]

@mr_hopp it’s takes me to a page to register my email and then it says I’m already registered 

[100918]

ALWAYS Disclose. I was not given the option of informed consent by the person who infected me (my ex-husband). I just found out 2 days ago that I have had H for at least the past 10-18 years and had no idea until I got tested prior to becoming intimate with the man I started dating (who has subsequently slammed on the brakes, backed up, and now wants to "be friends"). And I am ANGRY that he did this to me. I don't know how I would have responded if he had been honest, but he never gave me that opportunity.

Everyone deserves the right to be informed and to make their own decisions based on that information.

That doctor is violating the oath he took to "first, do no harm" by encouraging anyone with a communicable, life-long disease to not disclose to anyone they could potentially infect. And that pisses me off all over again.

[New2GH]

I 100% agree with @100918, everyone deserves the right to know ahead of time and to decide for themselves if they want to risk it or not.  Also, I would never go back to a doctor that would advise me not to disclose.  That's unethical advice and therefore an unethical doctor.  

[sarahsfocus]

I agree News2GH and I agree with 100918.my sister is in the same boat your in (100918) she was seeing someone for six months they were dating and he cheated on her. now she has to live with this awful virus in her. had she known he was seeing someone else she would have dumped him.so I know what you mean.it pisses me off too that someone would cheat and then go back to there significant other.so I say always tell people about having this disease.

[WingingIt]

This is why so many people have HSV and don't even know it.  It's because those of us that DO know we have it are too afraid to disclose. I think it's really ironic how many people are angry about getting HSV after someone didn't disclose to them and then turn around and decide NOT to disclose. 

 To respond to the topic, though... I have a friend recently diagnosed with HSV1 and her doctor literally said to her, "So don't tell anyone if you don't want to. It's not like you have HIV." 😮

[sarahsfocus]

I have been trying to get my sister sue the person that gave her hsv2. Maybe I'm an angry person but I would want to kill the person that would give me hsv2.it really makes me mad that some people aren't responsible enough to get tested.when you have sex you should get tested.

[Jenn88]

43 minutes ago, sarahsfocus said:

I have been trying to get my sister sue the person that gave her hsv2. Maybe I'm an angry person but I would want to kill the person that would give me hsv2.it really makes me mad that some people aren't responsible enough to get tested.when you have sex you should get tested.

I don’t think she can.  I think aids you can sue for bc your giving someone a life sentence sort to speak. But I dunno about hsv2 a lot of people

dont k ow they have it. You would have to prove the knowingly gave it to

you 

[sarahsfocus]

What about the women that sued Usher for giving them hsv2? My sister is so scared about people finding out.(we live in a small town) but I told her the guy that gave this to her will someday be killed.(there's a lot of rednecks here) so he will get his someday.