mr_hopp
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Posts posted by mr_hopp
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Hey @oldguy,
It’s great to see you’re actively seeking information and support. You’re right; the IgG value does suggest exposure at some point, but it doesn’t pinpoint when or where the virus might manifest on your body. HSV-2 is typically associated with genital herpes, but it can appear orally, though this is less common (like I said, only 1-2% of all oral herpes cases are HSV-2).
Regarding transmission, direct contact with an active sore is the most common way to contract the virus (generally from people who are unaware that they have herpes, so are less cautious), but asymptomatic shedding can also lead to transmission. It's not necessarily about where the virus manifests; it's more about where it was exposed to on your body.
I get it how navigating this with your partner can be challenging And the risk is put in perspective in the handouts that come with the e-book. Down to a 2.5%/yr risk of transmission (for women, less for men) when suppressive meds and condoms are used. For comparison’s sake ... There’s a 2-15% chance of unintended pregnancy with condoms and a 1.8% chance of death from a car accident. Everything in life has some % of risk associated with it. It's just about determining which risks are worth taking.
Keep the dialogue open and focus on the facts and the effective measures you can take to reduce risks. This can help build trust and understanding. Thanks for being part of this community and sharing your journey. 👊
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Hey there @NerdP423,
I get how all of that can be super confusing. Sorry you’re going through it! Since the tests, including swabs and Western Blots, have come back negative multiple times, it's unlikely that HSV is causing your symptoms. There aren’t drugs that typically trigger outbreaks; for some people there are triggers like chocolate or nuts or excessive time in the sun, but it’s different for everyone so certainly not something that would be a definite to give you an outbreak if you do carry HSV. It's good to keep communicating with your doctor about your symptoms and concerns. Maybe a neurologist could help if you feel the symptoms are nerve-related? Sometimes, another medical perspective can make a big difference. Good luck in your search!
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Hey there,
It's great to see how proactive you're being about learning and getting support after your diagnosis. Kudos to you! French kissing is generally considered safe with HSV-2, especially if you’re not having an outbreak. HSV-2 is typically associated with genital infections, so transmission through kissing is highly unlikely (only 1-2% of all HSV-2 cases are located orally). It’s also good that you're on suppressive therapy, which significantly reduces the risk of transmission.
Remember, it's not a "life sentence" (tongue-and-cheek as that may have been meant) — it's a totally manageable skin condition. Words really shape our perspective; and using positive, realistic language can help put things into better perspective. Keep up the open communication with your girlfriend and allow her some time to process this new information. I'm glad you sent her the handouts that come with the free e-book; those should help her answer all those high-level transmission questions she probably has. I hope your therapy session goes well, and that your relationship continues to grow in understanding and trust. Keep us updated!
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Hey @Phoenix08! It sounds like you're having a reaction to monolaurin, similar to how skin might react to too much Retin A. It’s not uncommon to see some irritation as your body adjusts to a new supplement, especially at higher doses. Others have sometimes reported similar skin reactions when starting new supplements, so you're not alone! It's always smart to listen to your body and scale back if something feels off.
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Hey @WSTCHSTRHIKING,
First off, HSV-1 (which can affect either the oral or genital area, usually depending on the location of initial infection) and HPV are different viruses with their own distinct symptoms. The bumps you mentioned from when you were younger sound like they’re related to HPV, especially since your dermatologist identified them as such. HPV and HSV-1 won’t look the same and generally have different types of outbreaks.
Canker sores inside your mouth are usually not caused by HSV-1; they're non-contagious and quite different from cold sores, which are caused by herpes.
Now that you’ve tested positive for HSV-1, it doesn’t necessarily mean your genital symptoms are due to this virus, especially if they look more like HPV and behave differently from typical herpes outbreaks.
Medications for herpes won’t help with HPV outbreaks because they target different viruses. If you’re unsure about any symptoms, it’s a good idea to keep consulting with your healthcare provider. They can help clarify which symptoms are linked to which virus and advise on the best treatment options.
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My pleasure, @Darleen! Glad it was helpful.
(And I like the sound of Mr. Hope. That certainly rings true. 😉)
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Hey @Isleguy,
Typically, herpes outbreaks recur in the same general area where the virus first entered the body because the virus stays dormant in the nerve cells near the initial site. (For example, all of my genital herpes outbreaks have shown up in the exact same spot on the shaft of my penis.) However, HSV-2 primarily affects the genital area (only 1-2% of all HSV-2 cases are oral), so you're right that having a first outbreak near your belly button and then on your lip is unusual since these areas are typically affected by different types of the virus (orally, HSV-1 is by far the predominant strain).
It's good you're getting the new bump swabbed. This could help clarify whether it's indeed a herpes outbreak or something else. You could also have both strains, HSV-2 and HSV-1. And remember, auto-inoculation is possible but rare without direct contact from an active sore to another body part. Also, the longer you have herpes, the less likely auto-inoculation can happen because your body builds up natural immunity.
How'd your appointment go to swab the bump? And yes, unless it's a fluid-filled blister, it probably won't pick up enough matter to be identifiable, unfortunately.
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Hey @seamusharper,
The risk of transmitting herpes, whether she has had multiple partners or not on the same night, mainly depends on whether there are active outbreaks and the type of contact. Unprotected oral sex can expose you to genital or oral herpes if she is infected, especially if she had any sores or symptoms. Protected penetrative sex reduces the risk significantly but isn't foolproof, especially for areas not covered by a condom.
The number of partners doesn't inherently increase your risk from the same encounter, but multiple exposures over time would increase your overall risk. You can download the free e-book and handouts for more transmission-related data: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook
It’s always wise to get tested if you have concerns about possible exposure, even if symptoms aren’t present, as herpes can be transmitted without visible signs. However, without any signs or symptoms yourself that would be swabbable at the clinic, you'd have to wait 12-16 weeks before enough antibodies would be detectable by a blood test if you did indeed have herpes.
Let us know if you have any more questions!
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Hey @Darleen!
I'm sorry, it's totally frustrating to deal with those symptoms even after the visible outbreak has healed. What you’re experiencing is actually quite common among many folks with HSV2. These symptoms are often referred to as post-herpetic neuralgia (PHN), where nerve pain and sensations linger after an outbreak. It's your body's response to the virus affecting the nerves.
Many find relief by continuing antiviral medication even after the outbreak clears, as it can help reduce the frequency of these neuralgic symptoms. Also, managing stress and maintaining a healthy immune system can be beneficial. It might be worth discussing with your doctor if you continue to have frequent outbreaks and persistent pain—they could adjust your treatment to better manage the symptoms.
Take care and hope you find some relief soon!
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Hey @Missannthrope45,
It sounds like you’re in a bit of a tough spot, but it's great that you're thinking this through. Even if things with this guy aren’t heading towards something long-term, it’s still important to bring up your HSV status before getting more intimate. It’s not just about relationships but also about respecting each other's right to make informed decisions about health. After all, you'd want him to be upfront with you about something similar if the tables were turned, right? (And I love what you said, @Isleguy. Well put.)
A casual yet straightforward approach can make this conversation easier. (In other words, don't think of it like a big "speech" per se; it's the safer sex conversation that all consenting adults should be having.) You might say something like, “Hey, I really enjoy spending time with you, and since we’re talking about getting closer, I think it’s important to share something personal. I have herpes, which is pretty manageable, but I want to be upfront about it. What do you know about it?” This opens up the dialogue and shows you care about consent and safety, which is super attractive in its own right!
Here's a link to a video I made that talks about handling casual hookups with herpes, which might give you some more pointers:
https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/casual-hookups-with-herpesAlso, even though this is something casual, you can still get a lot from reading the disclosure ebook and soaking up the data/stats so you're armed with knowledge and confidence beforehand: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook
It’s totally normal to worry about rejection, but every disclosure is also an opportunity to connect on a deeper level, even if things are casual. Plus, handling this well sets a positive tone for how you approach challenges, which is something to be proud of!
Hang in there and good luck with your date. Keep us posted, okay?
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My pleasure, and thanks for the kind words! I love to hear it that folks like you get goodness out of H Opp being around.
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Hey there @pecan!
Yes, the CDC does mention it can take up to 16 weeks or longer for enough antibodies to develop to detect HSV-2. This timing varies because everyone's immune response is different. Some people might develop detectable antibodies sooner, while others might take longer. It's not exactly specified how much longer beyond 16 weeks it could take, as it really depends on individual immune system factors. This is yet another factor that contributes to a lot of frustration and confusion about the herpes testing process, so you're certainly not alone in wondering this!
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Hey there @pecan,
Wow, what a journey you've had with all this testing confusion! It sounds super stressful, and I'm sorry you've had to go through so much frustration over this. It's great that you've finally got some clarity with the negative Western Blot result, especially after all those negative IgG tests over the years aligning with no symptoms. It does sound like your initial diagnosis might have been a mistake, especially with the inability to produce those early test results and the strange numbers on that old IgG test. My guess is that first test was *not* a Western Blot since WB is the gold standard and has much higher efficacy than IgG (but it's more expensive, so clinics tend to use IgG as the go-to herpes blood testing method).
A second Western Blot probably wouldn't be necessary if you haven't had any new exposures since the last test, as the test you had is quite reliable. Given your long history of negative results and lack of symptoms, it seems very likely that you don't have HSV-2.
Your experience highlights how important clear communication and accurate record-keeping are in healthcare. If you still have doubts or need more peace of mind, discussing this with a knowledgeable healthcare provider could help, but it sounds like you've been thorough.
Take care of yourself, and I hope you can find some peace after all this!
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Hey there @Darleen!
It's totally understandable to be cautious about long-term medication use, but know that all herpes meds (Valtrex/valacyclovir, Acyclovir, Famvir) are generally considered safe for long-term use in managing herpes outbreaks, but like any medication, they can have side effects. The concern about kidney issues primarily affects those who already have kidney problems, elderly patients and/or are taking other medications that impact kidney function. So if you generally have good health, you should be fine. I've been taking twice-daily Acyclovir for over a decade and I've seen no issues, and the vast majority of people fall into that camp.
If your outbreaks are becoming more frequent, it might be worth discussing with your doc. They can help you weigh the benefits and risks of ongoing Valtrex use based on your specific health circumstances. They might also check if anything else could be impacting your outbreaks, like stress or other health changes. Always good to keep your doctor in the loop, especially when you’re noticing changes. Stay safe and take care!
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Haha, "bumpies" — I love it! And shocking the bumpies away sounds like a superhero move. It's not something you hear about every day, especially in the context of managing herpes outbreaks. Your theory about it possibly impacting the nerves and the virus is neat to consider. While there isn't established research linking shockwave therapy with herpes management specifically, I'm glad you shared your personal experience just in case. Could be something there, but also could be a complete one-off coincidence. Who knows! And of course it’s always important to approach new treatments cautiously and discuss them with a healthcare professional, especially when it comes to long-term management strategies for conditions like herpes. Thanks for sharing your story!
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Thank you for the update, @Farishta, and congrats on reconciling! We humans can be pretty messy, especially when it comes to romantic relationships, but a superpower we have is the capacity to repair what needs repairing in the relationships we want to nurture in our lives. Good work! And yes, love that quote. Because even going through hell can give us an experience that has us appreciate our lives in a more profound way on the other side of it ...
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Hey @Isleguy, it sounds like you're carrying a heavy load right now. A perfect storm. Finding out about HSV-2 amidst marital strain must feel like too much to handle alone. It’s a tough situation, but you’re taking responsible steps by seeing a counselor and planning to talk with your dad. That’s brave. I certainly had similar suicidal moments initially myself, but I'm so glad I didn't do it. And I'm glad you didn't either. Because making such rash decisions in the midst of such strong emotions is never the way to go. It's super important to put this into perspective: HSV-2 is way more common and manageable than the stigma and shame would have you realize, and it doesn’t define your worth or your ability to have meaningful relationships. At all. Separation is a big decision, influenced by more than just a diagnosis. Honest communication is key, whether with your wife, a therapist, or close family. It’s okay to take time to figure out what’s best for you and your family. And @ashleytiffania, you’ve shared some insightful thoughts. Therapy could indeed be a pathway to rebuilding trust and communication, potentially creating a space for difficult conversations. And absolutely, time heals through the stages of grief (when you hold a positive perspective as much as possible).
Remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to lean on this forum, friends, or family for support. You got this. Keep us in the loop as this thing progresses.
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Hey there, @Pink Sky, and welcome back!
It's totally possible for herpes outbreaks to shift locations slightly, especially in the same general area where the virus usually pops up. This isn't unusual, as stress and health changes can influence outbreaks, including their location and frequency. Stress and trauma can trigger more frequent or differently located outbreaks. The herpes virus lives in nerve ganglia (like branches of a tree) and travels along nerve pathways to the skin surface. Usually, it follows the same path, but sometimes it may take a different branch, appearing in a new nearby location. This doesn't mean it's spreading across the body but manifesting in different parts of the same nerve region. Definitely stay in contact with your clinic so when/if those ulcers come back under your butt cheek, you can run in to get it swabbed when they are fresh so you'll get a more definitive test. And you're right on it — managing stress and continuing therapy might also help manage the outbreaks since a peaceful physiology creates a healthier immune system. So keep doing what you're doing taking good care of yourself!
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My pleasure, good luck, and keep us in the loop!
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Hey there @Phoenix08! I’m really glad you found this forum, too, and that you shared your story. Your openness and spirit already add so much to our community.
And yeah, it's pretty wild how misunderstood herpes is, especially with those offhand comments about intimacy. But you’re hitting the nail on the head; herpes actually nudges us towards deeper, more authentic connections. It's not about lowering standards but elevating them, ensuring that we’re open and vulnerable with the right people.
Regarding disclosure fears, it’s totally normal. It can feel like our logic ("Wait, isn't this just a simple rash? It's so not a big deal.") and our emotions ("Aaaahhh! I'll never find love again ... EVER!") are at direct odds with each other; it can feel like a civil war between our hearts and heads, duking it out. But remember, vulnerability and honesty are incredibly attractive traits to the kind of people you want in your life. These qualities don't push these people away; they magnetize them. And about that stigma? Shining a light on herpes, talking about it openly and honestly, that’s how we start to dismantle it. Each disclosure is an opportunity to educate and reduce the stigma, proving it’s a small part of who you are, not the defining feature. If anything, your defining features become that you are honest, open, courageous, and all those good qualities that shine during a confident disclosure.
You’re doing great, and every step forward, even just mingling, is progress. It's exposure therapy, proving to your subconscious mind that you're okay, there's nothing wrong with you, and you're moving forward. Keep embracing your journey, and remember, every story shared here, including yours, helps someone else feel a little less alone. Keep shining!
... and if you haven't already, definitely read the free e-book and handouts to help you with your disclosure perspective. You can download them free here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook
And here are a few videos to start with about disclosure, I hope they help!
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On 3/27/2024 at 8:15 PM, D_Marie said:
Thank you @mr_hopp for the thoughtful response. You have a lot of really good points for me to think about and consider. When I face difficult problems my brain likes to try and put it into a neat logical formula, but that obviously can’t be done with disclosures, as you so eloquently showed.
My pleasure, @D_Marie! Ultimately it's about asking yourself what kind of a relationship you want to have and attract ... If you want a relationship that's based on truth, authenticity, trust, and all those good things, then we need to lay that foundation. And like @Jespo shared, it doesn't always work out when you do the right thing, but it's vital to not let fear steal away our own integrity to then avoid having such important conversations with partners in the future. That is a recipe for even more pain in the future once a relationship is based on such shaky foundations.
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Hey @Surferdude3536, sounds like you've been on quite the journey trying to figure this out. Going to see an allergist and a new dermatologist is a smart move. Everyone's different, so what you're feeling might take a bit to sort out. My own experience with a bit of a sunburn feeling didn't last too long. Everyone’s experience with HSV (and skin conditions in general, for that matter) is unique.
And @Phoenix08, your story about the face wash is a perfect example of how tricky allergies can be! It really shows how something you've been okay with for years can suddenly become a problem. Reminds me of the time that a buddy of mine used hair conditioner to masturbate and ended up worried for weeks that he had an STI. Turns out skin can do weird shit when vigorously rubbed with hair conditioner. 😝
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@Jasonlee56, it's great you're talking about this stuff and weighing all the thoughts and ideas floating out there. Feeling like herpes could mess up relationships is unfortunately super common, but being honest can really help. It's all about when you feel it's right to talk about it. Everyone deals with it in their own way. Before you disclose or have sex, you need to trust this person with your vulnerability. That's key. And herpes-only dating just doesn't work for most people. Because you're pre-rejecting yourself, assuming rejection if you date the "normal" population (as if you're somehow ejected from that dating pool). By choosing herpes-only dating, you're cutting out so many options, down to less than 2% of people. Read this article for more on that: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-dating-sites
@Phoenix08 — You're definitely not alone feeling this way. It's okay to have ups and downs. It's awesome that being open led to good moments for you. It shows that being real with people can lead to deeper connections, even when it feels super scary. And yes, people assume that because dating was hard for them before herpes (it certainly was for me, too, I feel you!) then it will be 10x harder after having herpes, but it's just not true. It changes the landscape of the types of conversations you have and what people can see in you, beyond an overblown skin condition. They see your honesty, your courage, your vulnerability, your confidence ... and all of that is there because of how you are choosing to face a difficulty in your life. And that is very attractive to so many people.
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Hey @Missannthrope45, I totally hear you on the HSV dating site experience; that sounds super icky. It's so important to approach any dating scene with a solid mindset and expectations. To answer your question about disclosing, I waited a few dates or about a month before I disclosed to the woman who is now my wife and the mother of our 7-year-old boy. It gave us time to connect and build a level of trust and understanding before having that conversation. (But she had already googled my name and found H Opp, so turns out she already knew, and was curious about how I would disclose!) 😝 It was an amazing, beautiful day, and it opened our relationship up to a deeper level. Your experiences with disclosing and getting positive responses are really encouraging! It shows that there are absolutely plenty of understanding people out there who value honesty and connection over a diagnosis. Thanks for sharing your perspective and experiences; it adds so much value to this community.
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Initial outbreak(s) process, is this coming to an end (finally)?
in Herpes question(s)
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Hiya @butterflypeckham!
It sounds like you're going through a tough time with your genital HSV-1. Those tingles and itchy sensations can be frustrating! Not every tingle means a new outbreak is coming. Sometimes, after an outbreak, nerves can still be a bit reactive, which might cause those sensations without leading to new symptoms. It seems like you're doing a lot to support your body with acyclovir and supplements, which is great! And the good thing specifically about genital HSV-1 is that it sheds less than genital HSV-2 (see the free handouts and ebook for more details about all that), which means overall less outbreaks and less risk of passing it to your partner.
Keep monitoring your symptoms and maintain your treatment regimen. Each person's experience with herpes can vary, so it's possible these sensations are just part of your recovery process rather than a sign of continuing outbreaks. Hang in there, and it's awesome to hear you have such a supportive partner!
Much love and hope you feel better soon!