Sparklepony

You also might have a heightened sense of imaginary symptoms. I had one spot on my upper lip that tingled during my first outbreak. I was convinced that it was the beginning of an oral outbreak. I think it was information overload in my brain causing the feeling. It's since gone away and I haven't had a sign of a outbreak. It's been about a month. When you focus on something so much, like I'm sure you have on having herpes, it can play with your mind.

You're definitely not alone. We might not end up here the same way, but we are definitely feeling the same thing. This is a wonderful place for support.

I've read that it can help, but I've also read that caffeine can trigger outbreaks. Maybe try the sugar free variety, it can't hurt. Like Judith said, living healthy is the way to go. It's that way with ALL things in life. You'll learn your bodys triggers and the things that help to prevent outbreaks. It's trial and error at first.

Herpes is a tricky bitch. There are no rules to outbreaks. If you were diagnosed 7 months ago and so far haven't had any typical outbreaks (flu like symptoms, fatigue, blisters that turn to sores, etc.) then it could be safe to assume that an outbreak for you is mild irritation and a tingly/burning feeling in your thighs (I had the same feeling in the back of my legs during my outbreak). That's not to say every outbreak will be that "easy", you could have a more severe experience later down the road, or you make have an outbreak that mimics razor burn or heat rash. Like I said, tricky bitch. I would just be on guard for something for a week or so, take extra precautions during sex and do skin checks for rashes or bumps. Get to know your body, get to know new feelings. Pay attention to your habits. Are you sleeping enough? Hydrated? Stressed? If you answered that no you're getting about 5 hours of sleep a night lately and living on coffee then chances are that was an outbreak. Knowing your body will be the best thing you can do when dealing with a virus that plays by no rules.

You could be on the verge of another outbreak. Sex can sometimes trigger outbreaks, especially if you recently became a member of the herpes club. It could also be that your body is still trying to figure out what to do to manage this damn virus. You're highly contagious during the first year, physical outbreak or just shedding and prodome. Basically, What I have done is planned for an outbreak once a month and just figure that's how it will be the first year. Sounds negative I know, but it's just part of the process. I've been lucky and haven't had a second outbreak after being diagnosed about a month ago. Knock on wood. I know that you're worried about passing this along to your partner, anyone would be. It seems like he is well aware of the risks, as well as already harboring one strain of the herpes virus. His body already knows the ins and outs of herpes and there is a good chance that it will never be passes onto him genitally. However, if it is, it is not the end of the world. Even though it feels like it would be right now. He is aware of your status, aware of his status, he knows the risks, and he also knows what it's like firsthand. If it happens, then it happens and you guys can deal with it in strides. It's not that you shouldn't care, you just shouldn't be so focused on it that you're causing yourself unneeded stress (stress can trigger outbreaks) and taking away from the fun in your relationship.

All I have to say is, BOOM. Dancer nailed it!! Welcome to this wonderful community! You have come to the right place for both support and information!

I've never had anyone disclose to me... hence why I now have herpes. If I was still H- I would imagine it would depend on how I felt about the person. If I was in love with them then it wouldn't even phase me. I would of course want to know my risks and what I was in for beforehand but ultimately I think the love I had for the person would outweigh the risk. However, if it was someone I was casually sleeping with and wasn't sure where it was headed then I would probably not be sleeping with them. There is also middle of the road, cautious fun. I think I can kind of see what my feelings would be had my giver disclosed to me. I would have still slept with him, would have just used more caution. I did really care about him, and still do. He's a good dude. Just not good with having important convos. I think how someone feels about their potential partner has the biggest influence on how they feel about the risk. I think how someone who is H+ approaches the disclosure conversation has a huge influence too. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. Confidence is extremely important too, as is someone who is well educated. If someone came to me saying "I have herpes, that's all I can tell you about it though" then I would be scared honestly. If someone told me they were H+ then gave me statistics and facts, a little bit about their personal experience, then threw in a "I just want you to know because I care about it" it would make all the difference in the world.

Your fears are not unjustified. It's very scary not knowing. I'm sure almost all of us here that have been diagnosed with herpes spent a good deal of time panicking about there being more, worse things lingering. I know I did. STAY OFF OF GOOGLE, and just breath for now. No matter what, things will be okay. Take this fear as a lesson to be extremely careful about your sexual health. Have the uncomfortable before sex talk about each others statuses. Trust me, that talk will be A LOT easier than a "so I think you gave me something" talk. Get tested after every partner unless you KNOW before sleeping with them that they are STD or STI free.

It is very possible that it's a part of your outbreak, if you're in the middle of one right now. If not, then it's probably just some irritation. I had a lot of skin redness/irritation/sensitivity in the whole "underwear area". A lot was going on down there lol. Bodies are weird.

Thanks, Lelani!!

Hello and welcome!! You have come to a GREAT place for information and support. I was diagnosed about a month ago with GHSV2. I've been lucky and only had one pretty mild outbreak so far (knock on wood.) I'll do my best to give you some answers based on what I know and my personal experience. 1- While tingling and itching are a symptom of an oncoming outbreak, it doesn't mean that you are about to have one. You have to remember that your body has been through a great deal of trauma to the system. The healing of your initial outbreak isn't quite over yet. Your body is still trying to fight this all off the best it can, and the cold right after didn't exactly speed things up. I got bronchitis just as my outbreak had cleared up. I still get a little pain and itching in my lady parts. I just chalk it up to my body still doing its job. Help it along by getting plenty of rest, drinking plenty of water, and eating as healthy as you can. Your body is smart, it knows what it's doing. 2- I'm not exactly sure what you meant by this, were you asking if symptoms and feeling are heightened because you just recently became H+? Or were you asking if that makes you more contagious to others? The answer is yes to both. In the first year you are both more prone to frequent outbreaks and you're more contagious to sexual partners. Some doctors will suggest suppressive meds during the first year after diagnosis to help with both of those potential issues. Again, lifestyle will make a difference in both. If you are uncomfortable and feel like you could benefit from suppressive meds then ask your doctor about it. While I'm not a huge medicine person, I also believe in not suffering if you don't need to. 3- As with my answer in question one, this COULD be a sign of an outbreak but it could also just be your body trying to sort this shit out. Typically outbreaks happen within about 72 hours of first feeling symptoms. Remember every case is different though. However, since this has been ongoing for a few weeks I would just write it off as your body doing its job until you start to physically see symptoms. 4- YES! This will eventually subside. It just takes time. Like I mentioned before, lifestyle will play a huge role in this. Try an Epsom salt bath, it can sooth things really effectively. Go commando, I did during my outbreak and I think it really helps. I still do at home because it seems to help thing feel more "free" in the lady jungle. 5- The swab is as much of a definite diagnosis as a blood test would be. The tricky thing about blood tests though, they aren't an immediate result. It takes a few months for your body to build up the antibodies that they test for in your blood. Example, I was given herpes mid-march, within about a week I was in the doctor for sores from what I thought was a yeast infection. SURPRISE, it was herpes. Dr lady took a culture of my sores and they drew blood. Culture came back positive obviously, blood showed nothing. Herpes is a tricky bitch. Feel free to ask as many questions as you want here, these folks that hang out here are really knowledgeable. Also, don't feel bad asking your doctor questions either, it's their job. Plus they WANT you to ask questions. It's the only way the can accurately help you.

Thanks, Dancer!!

I would like to think it's changed me in more ways than one. I this I had this life altering coming for awhile, the herpes was just the final straw. Honestly, I'm thankful for it. A few years ago I was a pretty judgmental person. I wouldn't consider myself a mean person, just a little ignorant and quick to judge. Through a nasty divorce, some financial woes, single mommying it up the last almost two years, and now a herpes diagnosis, I've realized we often don't chose the difficult paths we sometimes end up on. I'm a firm believer that most of us do what we think is best at the time and sometimes life decides to set us straight. All of it can either destroy us or teach us. There is a lot of power in choosing to look at the bad as a lesson. I've realized I can't take my health for granted anymore. I can't drink soda in place of water. I can't sustain myself on food that comes from a package or a drive through. I can't go without sleep because I want to watch TV till three in the morning anymore. I can't spend all my free time worrying about things I can't change. I also can't run 5 miles a day while doing all of that.... how was that even a possibility for me before? I need to treat my body like the constant working machine it is. It needs to be fueled right, given the rest it needs, and the emotion break it deserves. I think herpes is a warning to myself from my body. I could be so, so much worse. I'm lucky it's "just herpes". Above everything though, I've learned that we are all at risk for herpes, as well as any other STD or STI. It's a very eye opening process. It's scary. It makes us all vulnerable. It's also preventable. No one "has" to have this given to them. Sex comes with responsibility, and I never looked at it like that up until a few weeks ago. We have a responsibility to our partners and to ourselves to get tested, educated, and go through the uncomfortable conversations about statuses. I no longer feel odd about the thought of asking someone about the status, asking if they have gotten tested between partners, or even asking to see results. I also don't feel weird about the thought of someone asking me those things either. I'm not ready to openly talk about this with just anyone, but I'm positive that if the situation arises that I need to disclose to a potential partner that I could do it without feeling guilty or ashamed. That's a start, right?

Thanks, Adrial! That means a lot coming from you!

Since my diagnosis I have told few people, aside from you lovely folks here. I've told my mom and my best friend, as well as the guy involved in this situation with me. Both have been nothing but supportive. A week or so ago my friend told me that because of me talking to her about my diagnosis and her knowing the situation of how I ended up here she decided to get tested. Turns out she has chlamydia. No physical symptoms. She thinks she got it about a month ago. Now, I'm sure all of you know that while chlamydia is curable, it also has the potential to do a lot of damage if left untreated. She actually thanked me for being so open with about my diagnosis. She said because she knew about this happening to me because someone failed to disclose their status that she decided to get tested since she had slept with a few people during her separation. It feels really good to know that we have the power to inspire, if you will, people who may not know about their statuses. We have the power to break this cycle.

I have HSV2 so I don't know if the protocol is different than with HSV1 but what my doctor said is they typically suggest using suppressive meds for the first year since most people are prone to more frequent outbreaks during that time, and are also more contagious (that isn't a factor for me, I've sworn off sex for the rest of my life...). Dr lady said that after that time I could go off them and play it by ear from there.

I just want to add that sometimes a yeast infection CAN create blisters and sores, but it is extremely rare. Chances are your doctor just isn't educated on STDs like a gyno would be, like dancer said. By now (you mentioned this started about 4 months ago) you should have enough in your system that it would show up in a blood test.

Hello! First off, number of partners has nothing to do with why you got this. Some people have one partner and BAM "angry vagina" (or other parts if you are not of the lady gender), some people have 20+ partners and nothing. All it takes is one. Part of the stigma of herpes is the people who with the luck of the draw end up having herpes then buy into the stigma. Creates a vicious cycle. You are in no way being punished. Though it's hard not to feel like that, sometimes life just happens and it's unfair. You asked what were some ways we accepted our diagnosis. Well, for me it was a matter of just telling myself I was wasting emotions on something I couldn't change no matter how many tears I cried or how many times I tried to tell myself it was just a really bad dream. I literally forced myself to accept it. I've been through far worse than this and it only bettered me. As a person, as a parent, as a friend. I will make this situation do the same for me. I will be kinder to myself, body and mind. I will be more selective of who I chose to open my body and emotions up to.

Hi Amber- Welcome! You've found a wonderful place for support. Stick around! I know in some ways how you're feeling, it think all of us here do. The initial devastation, the guilt, the anger. All of it is very much a normal part of the process to accepting it. Take the time you need to grieve but then take the time to come to terms with it and remember to be kind to yourself in the process. I know you said you would rather it be a pregnancy or cancer... trust me, you don't. Part of the stigma with herpes is that it lasts forever. Though it is forever, it's also fairly easy to manage if you know your body. As hard as it is to look at things this way, eventually you should try and treat this situation as a way to better your life. For example, I was (and slightly still am but working on it) a caffeine addict, stress was my hobby, and 5 hours of sleep was a good night for me but I've decided I will use this as a way to take better care of myself. It's the push I finally needed to get my shit together. Typically there is an initial outbreak anywhere from 2 days to about a week after first "catching" herpes. While some people do carry around the virus for months, even years, without symptoms most don't. Some people are lucky (sarcasm) and have horrid initial outbreaks (flu like symptoms, dizziness, sores, etc) and others have a outbreak so mild it could pass as heat rash or razor burn. Either way, most people do have some form of an initial outbreak. Fun fact, women typically have the more severe outbreaks due to all the great areas the virus can thrive in. You mentioned that you haven't had an outbreak, did you get a blood test? I may be mistaken here but I don't think they can tell you which type you have without an outbreak. Regardless, educate yourself on both types and keep a watch out for symptoms. Regardless of if your manfriend gave it to you or not, you should still tell him that you recently found out. Holding it in will only make you feel worse. I fought with myself over telling the guy who gave it to me but I couldn't stand the thought of him just not knowing and passing it on to someone else. Most of us are in this boat because of that reason. I also hit panic mode thinking I could have been the giver. Despite he and I not seeing eye to eye on where we were headed, I cared about him enough to tell him incase I did indeed potentially pass it to him. I informed him and turns out he was never tested for it while he was in the military (they only do the standard STD tests) and within two weeks he was tested and got a call from his doctor informing that he was indeed H+. Lets say you and your man decide to continue to date, when would you tell him? 6 months? a year? Right now is the best time, even though it's hard. You will actually feel better about yourself regardless of the outcome of the conversation. I felt a lot better about the situation, a huge sigh of relief like feeling, after I told my giver that I was recently diagnosed and he should get tested as well. After the conversation was over it really didn't seem that bad either. I figured if I could get naked with this guy and sleep with him, then I should be able to have this kind of a conversation with him as well. Just breath. Despite how you're feeling now, things will pass and you will heal. It's going to be okay, promise.

Hello! You have found a wonderful place full of extremely honest and helpful people!! First, you did nothing to deserve this. At all. None of us did. It is unfair, but life in general works that way unfortunately. It doesn't matter if you've been intimate with one or one hundred people... all it takes is one person to pass it on to you. You aren't a ruined person, just like none of us on this site are ruined people. Even though it feels that way. With time you will start to feel better. Part of that is adjusting with the time passing, but the other part of that needs to be you deciding that it's all going to be okay. Sometimes you just have to wake up every day and force yourself to be happy until it's a habit just like brushing your teeth or something. Second, you aren't destined to be alone. You're hardly the spinster you seem to see yourself as. 34 is a very common age frame to actually start meeting people with the potential to settle down with. I know just as many people in their 30s meeting people they eventually marry and have a family with as I do people in their 20s. It just depends on how you arrange your life. Shying away from people and isolating yourself isn't going to help you meet anyone though. It's a vicious cycle. Feel down about yourself, self isolate, feel even worse about yourself, continue to isolate. Pretty soon you find yourself in "the hole" and finding your way out seems impossible so you just give up. I've been there. It is truly a horrible place. What I can suggest to you is counseling. There may be some other issues influencing your self esteem and sometimes just talking to someone works wonders. This site truly is a wonderful place for support. Non-judgmental, and I would be willing to bet that most of the people on here can give you just as great advice as most doctors. Stick around!

I second dancers advice. You may have a UTI going on. Those are actually very common occurrences with outbreaks.

Your feeling are completely normal. Out of site out of mind, right? Ignorance is bliss? Sometimes if you don't know the answer then it's easier to think that your initial thoughts and all the signs pointing to what you're afraid of are wrong. However, sometimes knowing the answer and being able to work through it is extremely liberating too. More so than you can imagine right now. It was for me. Of course I had the normal first few days of shock, anger, sadness. Then I kind of decided that this little plot twist isn't the worst thing to have happened to me in life, nor will it be the end of life as I know it. I feel better in a sense that I now have a clearer head as to who I would trust in my "inner circle", it was a real eye opener. Plus it was the motivation I needed to start taking better care of my body and mind. So while you need to go through the grieving motions, you also need to decide to not let this define you, but to better your life. As crazy as that sounds.

I started showing signs of an outbreak on a Friday, went to the ER the next day, then my doctor on Monday where she immediately diagnosed me based on the physical outbreak. I started doing Epsom salt baths the next day and I also had Valtrax so definitely ask you doctor for a prescription if you are indeed diagnosed. I think the combo of the internal and external treatment really helps to clear things up quicker. I would assume you were given herpes from the oral sex a few days ago. Some people can carry it around for a few months, even years, without a sign but generally there is an initial outbreak that occurs anywhere from 2 or 3 days to a week after first contracting it. For most people the initial outbreak is much like the one you seem to be having, but some people get a few bumps or a razor burn like rash. Your doctor will do a swab of the sores as well as a blood test. If it shows up in your blood then you would have been H+ for about 3-4 months and you could assume that the person you slept with about 7 months ago was your giver. If nothing shows up in your blood then it would be assumed that it was from the recent oral sex.

Dancer pretty much summed up anything that I would have said. She's so damn wonderful!! I just wanted to add that while sex can be huge trigger for some people, a new(er) partner can also set things off too. Kind of the same way that a new partner can cause yeast infections for the first little while. You body's PH gets thrown off causing all sorts of imbalances which your body will interoperate as stress. From everything I've read, prodrome times vary anywhere from a few hours to a few days so it's hit or miss as to if you could have passed anything also to your manfriend. Honestly, I would consider suppressive meds if you intend to regularly sleep with anyone. It cuts the risk of passing things along to your partner and for most people have very little side effects. Cost wise, if you have insurance then they are fairly reasonable. My insurance doesn't have the best prescription coverage and I paid 10$ for a monthly supply.

I really fought the urge to post this, but it's irritating as hell. @Unhappy1- I am a single mom. Have been since my now ex husband decided his girlfriend was much more fun than a wife with a baby on the way. I will admit it was very difficult at first but I busted my ass and put my entire being into being the best mom I could to my child and my job which has turned into a full on career. I am doing pretty well for myself considering the circumstances. While I have not disclosed that I have herpes to any of my male acquaintances (not sleeping with anyone currently) I have no doubt in my mind that none of them would tell any third parties. While people in their 20s are a bit less tight lipped on other peoples business generally, some are because they value the person whose private information they have, and they are too busy in their own lives to gossip about their friends. I say this as respectfully as I possibly can- maybe you only know of people who have no issue with gossiping about their friends and co-workers, or you personally don't know guys close to your age who would "take in" a single mom because of the kind of people you associate with. Again, trying to be as respectful as possible. I'm not sure where you are from, but where I live there is a huge church influence. Most people are married around 22-24. Most have kids shortly after. Out of all the people in my age group that have gotten married, only a small percentage of us are divorced. Clearly those people close to our age (we are close to the same age I think) ARE the long term type. This site is an AMAZING source of support and information for anyone looking to educate themselves and those around them about a matter that emotionally takes a toll on those living with it. I've seen only a few posts from you so I really don't want to be quick to judge but you're coming across as extremely confrontational. While you may (at least I hope) be attempting to just be honest, it's reading as negative and defensive.