MMissouri

It does :) Good luck and you're welcome.

Does this swelling go down after an hr or two? If so, I don't think this would be herpes or medicine related. Do a general search of eyelids swelling in the AM. It's quite common.

I want to get typed as well. I think it's important to know. And you can help others just by sharing! Jump right in! I'm sure someone is reading this right now and feeling less alone :)

You're welcome! And you're allowed to be a mess right now. You will adjust as you learn more about it.

I wish you the best of luck! Keep us updated!

@HDS. Okay, you didn't post all that information above. And no, I don't search every post to get background before I reply. That being said.. I don't get why my reply made you angry other than the fact I said you have to move on. Well, it's been what? 2 years you said? So don't you think that is a long time to carry a grudge about something you can not change? If you want to heal, change your life, get your groove back. You have to let it go.. If you want sympathy, or someone to feed into the "you were so wronged, what an evil person to do this to you", I'm not the person to give you that. Why? It does not do one thing to help you move forward. It keeps you stuck in this exact same place. That being said, you have to be the one to decide when enough is enough and make the changes you need to be happy again.

I agree.. I just find this all pointless. Focusing on testing those that are pregnant. 2-3% of woman get it while pregnant and a portion of those get it in the last trimester? What is the portion? .5%? I'm not in any way trying to say that it's not important to protect them babies. And any testing that is required at this point is a good thing. I'm just stuck on the fact if they would test everyone on a regular basis, then it would be so much more beneficial than this.

I do believe you are right in saying that he's more likely to get it in either place from your mouth rather than your genitals. As it stands now, there hasn't been any documentation/stats on how many infections are transmitted by genital HSV1 through regular intercourse. But there is still the friction and microtears, and that keeps me from saying that it's impossible to transmit that way. Regardless, I get what you are saying. How many times should you have to tell someone you have HSV1? And does the location really matter at this point? I'd say no. There is a point where they have to be responsible for their own sexual health. He knows you have the virus, and in telling him, you've done your part.

Since you have a genital infection, you don't have to worry about spreading it to your grandchildren. Just make sure you wash your hands after touching the area. (And I say this for you also, because your immune system is all out of wack, and you want to be on the safe side). If you are worried about having an HSV infection orally, you could get the blood work to see if you are positive for HSV1 also. As for the valtrex and the tingling all over, this could be the virus, it could be the meds. Since you are just having your first outbreaks, it will be awhile until you can tell how your body is going to react to the virus/meds/etc. The stye could be a stye. I believe herpes in the eye is not just one bump, but pain, many bumps, and vision problems. It's hard not to worry about every change after you get the diagnosis. Learn as much as you can about the virus, it helps to know what you're dealing with- the do's and don'ts, and how to help your immune system handle it. There are other posts by people who have immune disorders. You might find something useful in those as well. Hang in there! You've come to the right place for information. Welcome to the forum.

You have the virus, that's a fact. I see disclosure as respect for yourself and respect towards the other person to make decisions independently based on this fact. I personally like this. Very true.

Just wanted to add. Her idea is all good if the person that's pregnant is in a committed relationship- but what about those that aren't? And continue to have sex with multiple partners? Drag all one night stands in for testing before sex? It won't happen. Now I'm curious on just how many of those newly acquired cases during pregnancy were from someone in a monogamous relationship vs those that aren't.

If they are going to do that, they may as well test everyone in routine screenings, since most people eventually have children. Why wait til pregnancy, that makes no sense. And like you said, the drama that would ensure would be astronomical lol. But, since they recommend not testing period, this might be the way in (using the risk to babies as a reason for testing). But I'm guessing this argument has been had already. (Who wouldn't think of the risk to babies?) And the risks of transmission are still too low for them to take it seriously. Less that 0.1%? I hate to be the downer, but that percentage doesn't even seem worth it to me.

The risks are minor but there are still some changes after a diagnosis. I agree with optimist, it's a blow to some people's self esteem and sometimes even pride. Also, those that have autoimmune issues can get hit pretty hard with physical symptoms. Even those that adjust to the diagnosis still suffer a sort of loss. The freedom to have sex without a warning label. The innocence/naivety that most of us had beforehand. Not a bad thing, considering that's what put most of us in this position to begin with. But a loss nonetheless.

I'm sorry, I can't answer that. I don't think there are any ways to pin point shedding times. I shouldn't have put "shedding" but prodomes or warning signs that you will be having an outbreak soon. I'm going to edit that, thanks for pointing it out.

If the person at the salon is wearing gloves, they have a barrier on that will protect them from the virus. Not to mention, that wax is pretty hot, I wonder if the virus could withstand that temperature. (Just wondering, I'm not sure about the temperature levels it can withstand, my assumption is it does best at body temp). If anything, if you are having prodomes, I would worry about the sensitivity of the genitals at that time. (Meaning it might bring on an outbreak quicker) (Edited to change shedding to prodomes)

How many milligrams of lysine are in it? I think a tablet has 500. I just want to mention that some people have what are called triggers. Meaning they have something that irritates them and causes them to have outbreaks. So they will experiment with food items and cut out what they find to cause problems for them. It is not the same for everyone. So if you enjoy your chocolate and coffee, then continue to do so. Not everyone is the same, so unless you are having unbearable or continuous outbreaks, I would not start cutting things you enjoy. I personally have never had a food trigger. My triggers are stress and irritation to the genital area (meaning dry/rough sex, or underwear that may rub the crease between my thigh and outer labia).

My OB/GYN didn't ask me my herpes status or test me for it. But they did screen me for other STDs. I finally brought it up myself since I was worried about the birth process.

And since they don't test people for herpes, I'm guessing that is really 1/5500+ births since many people have it and just don't know.

Interesting. How was the irritation after the first treatment?

This kind of reminds me of another member that we have, and the first couple of times he posted. Although his posts were a lot angrier than yours, he some similar feelings-not wanting to trust girls and feeling like he had nothing to offer woman now that sex was going to change a little, etc. He's still around..I hope he will come give you some advice. (And guess what, he's actually a pretty funny and sensitive guy, so I think he does have something to offer) We also have quite the playboy on the forum, look for hippyherpy's thread. He's out partying it up very frequently and this is while telling the girls he has HSV. Anyway, it's hard not to get caught up in your head when you find out you have HSV. So, if you take the physical symptoms and look at them- is it really that bad? If you say no, then continue on.. The mental part of this all is a challenge. You can look at this two ways, you can buy into the thoughts of what herpes is said to be (television, jokes, even friends) and feel like your life is going to be over now. Or, you can go back to the question above and let that really sink in. It's not that bad. It's really not. So if you agree with me so far, go the the stats and statistics. Read how many people actually carry this virus. Get some facts, Seriously, one way to change the way you view herpes is to realize it's much more common than you know. It's not going to happen overnight, but you can change the way you think, and in doing so- get your confidence back. A couple of things you mentioned- you have a hard time trusting women. I don't know why the girl didn't disclose. Maybe she was feeling a little bit like you are now. Maybe she didn't think she had to since you were using protection (you said you always wear condoms?). I don't really know. But you need to move past that. People mess up all the time- they lie, cheat, etc. It doesn't make the entire gender bad. And for how you feel about yourself.. what did you have to offer girls before that has changed? I bet nothing has except for your view of yourself. Check out Adrials handouts and ebook. (welcome page or the picture at the left). Look at the herpes videos. Read some posts. We've all been there, and some still are. There is a post titled "herpes buddies", you might find someone in your area that's close by that you can connect with. There is nothing more healing than surrounding yourself with people that understand. Welcome to the forum.

AWW! Thats wonderful!! Have fun :)

Good luck Mel! A glass of wine beforehand is a must :)

I've had this since 1999. LOL. I stumbled onto this forum when I starting thinking about getting a divorce. I wanted to prepare myself for disclosing. But even being someone that has had this for years, I started doing exactly what I told you to avoid. I ran out and bough l-lysine. Starting cutting back on food I love to eat. Start spazzing about my RLS feeling at night being nerve pain. Started questioning every bump that appeared in other areas. Then one day i took a break, because I realized I was more stressed out and paranoid coming to the forum than I was before I found it. I came back because I do love the general support of the group and the sharing of information. I post a lot because if I can help one person through their diagnosis, then the carpal tunnel is worth it, ha! As for my outbreaks. I don't know if I have them anymore. If I do my symptoms are so slight I don't notice them. At most I get an itchy feeling in the area, no bumps that I notice. I just assume the itching is a warning and that is the time I'd need to be careful. I was like you and in a relationship when I was diagnosed. He had HSV1 orally, and I had a genital outbreak (I don't know what type). We just took it in stride and continued on. We eventually married, had three daughters (I took valtrex the last few weeks of each pregnancy), and stayed together 20 years.

How does that feel? And how many treatments do you have to do? And I'm guessing thats permanent? Yikes. I dunno if I want to be bald at 70 LOL.

Thank you :)