MMissouri

I can't really say when you should disclose. But I can suggest you wait until you feel you are ready. Since you've been talking for awhile, you already have an idea of what type of person he is. I would see if the chemistry continues and then go from there. (Don't wait too long, but some people find that things die down before it even gets to the disclosure point). Best of luck. There really is no way to prevent yourself from getting herpes if you have sex with someone that is contagious and you don't know they have the virus. I don't quite understand that statement about knowing how to be safe? Condoms? Because that isn't necessarily true. As for the assault, are you using it as an "it's not my fault" kinda type disclosure? I'm only asking because that tends to generate sympathy, but doesn't really change the fact that you're positive. And that is what you/they have to accept. The reason behind the positive status really is moot point. If you read the posts, a lot of people practiced safe sex, and still got the virus. Some people got it their first time, some people were assaulted, and some people partied. The how really doesn't matter in the long run. Anyone that has sex is at risk. If you want to tell him that you were sexually assaulted I completely understand wanting to disclose that. But if you are telling him only to make the disclosure easier, I don't think that's a good thing. Just my thoughts.

How about taking probiotics to help with the bacteria issue?

Just a quick question, this post has me thinking. Are you guys all uncircumcised? Im asking because one thing that helps with outbreaks and healing is getting the area dry. So, if you have foreskin, and are using creams etc, how do you do this? I'm just thinking trapped moisture is probably going to extend healing time, and perhaps cause other issues. (Don't have a penis, but makes sense to me lol)

@Sbabe, Even if things don't work out the way you planned, you've gotten through a disclosure. That in itself (regardless of how things turn out) is something to be proud of!

Hi Randy, Itching was something that drove me insane after I was diagnosed. It eventually went away. I didn't do anything specific, just waited it out. I'm sure that you could do a search of the forum and find a few posts with things that people have tried. Hang in there! It does eventually get better as time goes on.

Well, some good news is that HSV1 genitally is usually milder than HSV2. As for the outbreaks, it varies. The first year after the first outbreak is usually the worst. Some people have a one and done type thing, some people have one a month. It can depend on how healthy you are, how good your immune system is, and how much friction there is to the area. Sex seems to be a trigger for a lot of people because of friction/dryness. Lube becomes some girls/guys best friend. Same with shaving. Tight clothing. Irritation to the area in general. Since he has HSV1 orally, you really don't have to take the antivirals if you don't want to (Unless you are planning on becoming pregnant). The location of the outbreaks is not necessarily where the virus entered. It's more of a generalized area. (Some people get it on their butt cheeks, thighs, etc). Usually the outbreaks do occur in the same area as the first though. Sadly, a lot of doctors are misinformed. You've come to a great place for information. You're next steps are really just adjusting to the news and learning how your body is going to react to the virus. Nothing really has to change. The fear of disclosing is the worst part of the entire thing and since you are in a relationship, you get to avoid that for now.

Its hard to say. A burning sensation could be a symptom of many things (Even a simple UTI). If it is herpes related, the length of the symptoms seem to vary depending on the person. Sorry, I don't have a simple answer for you.

hmm.. coming into this late but after reading it all, it looks to me like you disclosed, got scared, tried to run/pull away. Then he continued to reach out but you were busy, played phone tag for a bit, didn't make any future plans, then took 6 hrs to reply and it was a very plain answer? Maybe he kinda felt like he was getting blown off? Don't get me wrong, I get the anxiety and fear after disclosure. It sounds as if you wanted him to confirm a relationship at that moment to ease your mind? But it was a relatively new (very new) relationship to begin with. 2 weeks? He probably has no idea what he wants from you. But he did make the effort, and for whatever reason, it doesn't sound like things were going well from that point. I don't think this is based on your status. Or him being dishonest/not upfront. It sounds to me like life got in between you both and he got tired of trying/waiting. Just something to think about.

It's hard to say. You could get a blood test and that might help you determine if it's a new infection or not. As for your list: 1) Since this is your first outbreak, the next year will be a learning period for you. Generally the outbreaks stay in the same area as they first appeared. It can vary though. 2) The boxer shorts region is said to be where genital herpes settles. But if I'm understanding it correctly, the area of your outbreak is the area of concern. (someone can correct me here if I'm wrong) 3) No, you can't spread a genital infection from kissing or fingering. 4) Yes you can wash your clothing with other peoples 5) No you can not spread it by giving oral sex. The area in which you have the outbreaks is the area of concern. (Unless you possibly have cold sores as well?) 6) This one is a little tricky. Since most people have no idea when they are shedding, it's risky to go without a condom. 7) If you are having an active outbreak and she touches that (or you touch yourself) and immediately touch her vagina afterwards, there is a slim chance. Most likely not. But I wouldn't risk it. Have you told your girlfriend of your positive status? She should probably get tested as well.

Yay for successful disclosures and office tables! lol! I love these kind of posts. :)

Is there a reason you are taking all those supplements to begin with? I only ask because if you eat properly, and in good amounts, you should be getting all the vitamins you need from your food. There's no reason to waste money on the extras unless your diet is insufficient and/or a doctor has told you to. Anyway, as with any medications, water is important. It could be the acyclovir as everyone reacts to things differently. If you continue to have this problem, you could try a different antiviral.

It could be many things. If you see the bumps again, get to a doctor asap to get some answers. In the meantime, I would just tell your partners that you have tested positive for HSV1 (the virus that causes cold sores). And use a condom (for your protection as well as theirs).

I have to agree with the others. You'll have to be prepared for him to deny it and the possible (slim) chance he is negative. If you have been regularly tested and know for sure it's him, well then I'd go with what hippyherpy said. Don't accuse him of being positive, just share that you are. Or don't. While I advocate disclosing after diagnosis, I don't see the point in going back and informing every partner you've had. Even if someone ends up positive, there's no way of knowing where it came from, if that makes any sense? You could get someone that blames you for their positive diagnosis. People just don't understand the stats and how common it really is.

You could try an antiviral medication and see if it takes the symptoms away. Or if you're unable to get a script you could try L lysine (from the vitamin section of most stores), it helps some people. I think I would go to a doctor/dermatologist and see if you have something else going on.

@Meemee, I'm late to the party but glad to hear it all worked out in the end!! It's always good to hear of another success story!

Anythings possible. I think you should be asking if it's legal though lol. There are online pharmacies that I've heard will sell them, but you can not be sure if the medications you are getting are legit. i don't know that I'd want to take that risk. Don't know about the second question, but I bet planned parenthood or an std/sexual health clinic would have the answers..

I'm just curious why you'd take lysine if you'd have a prescription for antivirals? (I genuinely do not know the opinions on this, but I would think the antivirals would work faster and better, and lysine would be best taken if you are avoiding the antivirals?)

I would not even mention it. That's just my opinion but I do not think it is their business.

I haven't taken this medication but with any constipation issues, you can get over the counter stool softeners that are safe for daily use. You may want to increase your water intake if you don't drink a good amount already. Also, how is your diet? If you aren't able to get regular soon, I would talk to your doctor. It can cause issues if you let it go to long. Good luck!

They can. It depends on a lot of factors but I agree with Sail-if you touch the area wash your hands.

I agree with Sail.

Big hugs to you. I hope that he comes around after he's had time to think about it. If not, we are all here for you.

Emil65, how is your immune system? And have you thought of maybe changing antivirals? The first year is the worst year though, maybe now that you've made it past that, things will slow down.

No you won't. It's passed by skin to skin contact that involves friction.

Good luck with the treatment! And yay for answers :)