Tonight is MY night

[NSgreenville]

Thanks WSdancer! Right now I think we are aiming for this time next year. Just had our engagement photos taken this past week and then Im turning the big 30 in a couple weeks so all sorts of excitement. It certainly has been a wild wild ride.

[Sil88]

Big congrats!

[2Legit2Quit]

Congrats!

[Bambina3]

Congrats ;)

[NSgreenville]

WOOOOOWWWWIIIEEE!

 

Hey everyone I wanted to touch base with you. I know that I haven't been as good about posting on here recently and Im sure I wont get much better over the next few months. I recently took a new position that is a great fit. Everyone knows a bad job can cause stress and the herp doesnt like stress. We also bought a house last month together and have set our wedding date for 9/17/16 here in the Upstate of South Carolina. I have to say that when I first logged on here. I was looking to find some other miserable people and we could all have a pity party. I discovered a lot of positive people and some people who I felt were worse off than myself. Everyone was helping each other and trying to pick each other up.

 

Now I'm at a crossroads. Im healed of the herpes stigma. I just don't care about it anymore. I understand it. I know it affects me once in a blue moon and honestly Im more concerned about not getting a pimple on my wedding day than I am of a H breakout.

I also dont know how much more positive vibes I can provide for you guys. I sense I've become somewhat redundant. All I can say is don't consider this a death sentence, because its not. Go out there be vulnerable. Lay it on the line. Be honest with yourself to the point it scares you. If someone judges you, so what. Didn't you judge yourself when you didn't know either? Remember to love yourself and look inward when feeling down. If you've made it this far the rest is pretty easy.

 

Love you guys and I'll try and keep you posted on the wedding stuff.

 

Nick

[2Legit2Quit]

Congrats! Sounds like things are really looking up for you!

[WCSDancer2010]

I was wondering how things were for you..... and I think it really DOES help others to hear your ongoing POSITIVE outcome from your "positive" test result. ESPECIALLY the guys. So many complain that they don't see much from other men... so please do check in when you can. I know that YOUR story has been very helpful to many of the men out there who feel really alone when they come on sites like this and see 99% of the posts are from women (because we get it more AND we reach out for help more).

 

Whooohooo! Wedding date set! That's so awesome. And you know, IF you have an OB on your honeymoon, just use that as an excuse to get yer freak on some other way.... it's just another "Opportunity" to find other ways to be intimate :)

 

LOVE YOU BUNCHES friend! It's been an honor and a pleasure to follow your story!

[Katidid]

Fantabulous!

[Bambina3]

Congrats ;)

[WCSDancer2010]

@NSgreenville has been wonderful with keeping us up to date with his relationship and subsequent engagement. I suggest that folks click on his name and go see some of his early posts ... he was exactly where many of you are right now. His story is not unusual, but most men don't come on boards like this and those who do don't share as much once they get over the initial adjustment. His story is so beautiful and I hope it gives you a glimpse of what is possible when you just accept and embrace having H and don't let it be an excuse to stop living life!

[Miji69]

@NSgreenville was such an awesome help to me back in 2014 with a difficult disclosure and I am so blown away to come back here and see how far he has come and this amazing beautiful outcome. Yes, people, red through this thread it and he will give you hope, like he did me. This is the ULTIMATE success story in my opinion. Congratulations and good luck, as i think you must be only days away....... :-))

[NSgreenville]

Thank you for the kind words everyone. @Miji69 I really appreciate you saying that. The day is coming quickly 9 days out. I'm not sure if I am the ultimate success story. I really think I've just followed a lot of advice from the people on here that worked. Its extremely difficult to adjust after your initial diagnosis. Its personal, its lonely, it makes you feel awful. But the term "this too shall pass" is so relevant. I have found a woman who I love more than anything. Our relationship really has nothing to do with Herpes. When I have an outbreak (which Im lucky I have one about once every 7 months at this point) we merely take a break from that part of our relationship. My advice to most is to just keep being you. Be brave. Take chances. Fall on your face. Herpes does not make you a worse person unless you let it. If you become sour, miserable, depressed and self pity, then you're right, it will make people not want to date you. Not because of your H but because thats a nasty attitude to have. I love my wife to be because her ability to overcome adversity. I try to be better at that each day.

 

I know I dont post on here as much as I should. But I will always have a spot in my heart for you guys. Dont hesitate to reach out to me.

 

Love as always,

Nick

[optimist]

Congratulations and best wishes, @NSgreenville!

[Miji69]

@NSGreenville... Thought I'd drop by and say.....

CONGRATULATIONS on your big day today!! Don't know if this is a first around here but maybe you are our first H-Opp married member? I think about you guys and your amazing relationship a lot and I don't even know you and live an ocean and many miles away. You still inspire me and many people who come here for hope and support. I wish you and your new wife many many years of happiness and continued growth together.

Hope you're partying your little AS*ES off right about now!

 

 

[NSgreenville]

Hey everyone. So this weekend coming up is my Birthday weekend. As many of you know already it is also now the anniversary of me finding out I had herpes. It has been 4 years since my diagnosis. I have to say my growth as a person has surprised even myself. I went from having a very negative approach to relationships and intimacy to then having my diagnosis take the rug out from under me. In a way it was the end of the world for me. It ended that world of being that type of person.

 

It wasnt easy swallowing that pill of knowing my actions were the cause of all my pain. Rather than feel sorry for myself (well I tried not to) I got back into the swing of dating with my new outlook on life after 18 months. I still remember how nervous I was to disclose to the girl I was dating. Not nearly as nervous as I was when I dropped to 1 knee though.

 

I know I've rambled on here a lot. But for anyone wondering does it get better in 4 years (took me longer to finish college) I got herpes. I discovered how to have real intimacy through conversation. I disclosed and lost some. I disclosed and won a lot of respect. And I found the woman of my dreams and married her 4 weeks ago. As I approach the anniversary of that doctors visit I can firmly say thank goodness I got herpes when I did because I can't believe I wasted so many years on foolish endeavors, and chasing the wrong women. Now Im happily married and working towards the important things in life.