MMissouri

You could go into urgent care just to see if you have the UTI. They won't be able to tell you from a urinalysis if it's a herpes outbreak, but if the urinalysis is negative then you would have a better idea of what you are dealing with. It sounds like a UTI to me, but I've never had herpetic urinary pain so I can't say for sure. Keep us updated.

I was just looking at a test result of a patient who had HSV IgG testing and there was a note at the bottom about cross reactivity. I didn't pay much attention, but the mention of it makes me think it's still possible. If it makes you feel better, I just took this off of quest diagnostics: The HSV-2 IgG Western blot assay has historically been considered the gold standard for identifying HSV-2 IgG reactivity. However, Ashley-Morrow et al have clearly demonstrated that the HSV-2 IgG Western blot is less sensitive than the HerpeSelect HSV-2 IgG ELISA for detecting IgG seroconversion following newly-acquired HSV-2 infection: the median interval between symptom onset and IgG seroconversion was 21 days for the HerpeSelect ELISA versus 68 days for the Western blot assay.3 There is thus a window of approximately 47 days in which the Western blot assay may give false-negative confirmatory results. In contrast, true-positive specimens in this window are positive (>60% inhibition) in the HSV-2 IgG inhibition assay. In addition to increased sensitivity, the turnaround time for the inhibition assay is shorter than that of the Western blot assay. Hope that helps.

I was looking for this thread because I wanted to make a correction to the HPV statement I made. Ask your doctor if they can detect HPV from your pap. (Someone brought it to my attention that they are only looking for cancer causing strains- I've yet to confirm that). Dave- she's had coldsores her entire life. Unless she started oral sex at a very young and inappropriate age, I'd say without a doubt it's HSV1.

I'm glad that you don't have shingles. RA is an autoimmune issue which means that your outbreaks may be different than the norm since your immune system is somewhat compromised. Your nurse may not know this, but hopefully your immune specialist does. I would talk to them about it if you continue to have issues.

I'm going to disagree with Dave and say your mouth is safe if you have a genital infection. You can kiss and give as much oral sex as you want- just make sure that they are safe too! Heavy petting should be fine. Fingering.. well- most whitlow is caused by HSV1, BUT, I have to say I would leave your genital area alone to be safe. (Especially if you are not disclosing).

I would suggest a lot of lubrication and condoms to start. That way you are offering a bit of protection and at the same time lessening the friction that can bring on an outbreak (lube). I used to get outbreaks after sex but it was usually when it was rough or I had become dry, friction does tend to irritate herpes in my experience. Add in the fact that you have not had sex in awhile, it very well may irritate you. If you were to have irritation, I don't think it would instantly make the area contagious. I don't really know, but I'm guessing the virus has to travel etc. I don't know if your fear is transmitting or the outbreak itself? But it's still within your first year, and another outbreak will probably happen eventually anyway. I would try it and see what happens. Life is short, don't let fear hold you back.

I really think that acceptance is a big step in healing. Once you get to that point you can change your outlook about it all. You're on the right path. Welcome to the forum!

My first thought after reading your post was that you'd probably like Ella Dawson. (At least you may find her situation a little similar). https://ellacydawson.wordpress.com/herpes/ Check it out while you're waiting, I'm sure someone will come along shortly that is in the same boat.

Good luck and keep us updated!

TKdmama, you've got me curious now! We send out all our pap testing but they are reflexed to HPV regardless of age (I agree High Risk is started @30-but you've got me curious on the younger patients now) I'll get back to you on that! If I've learned anything on this forum, it is that people who have it generally have more information than people that don't. I'll consider myself corrected- and thanks for the info!

Maybe a real lube will help masturbation issues? By all means get tested, it doesn't hurt. You're welcome. Keep us updated on your results if you decide on the test in the future.

You're very welcome!

It's your first outbreak right? Those are the worst. Most people with HSV1 get it when they are kids and don't remember the severity of it. My cousin had so many blisters that her lips looked black with scabs. That being said, are you experiencing nerve pain? Or just soreness? Shingles is very painful, if you said "Pain" they may be thinking shingles due to that. It doesn't hurt to get checked though. The spreading part is odd and another possible reason to look into shingles. Do you have any autoimmune issues? They tend to make things worse. I don't have any suggestions for you pain wise, but if you look through the threads you most likely could find something to treat the sores from the outside. WCSDancer has made many suggestions for pain and itching. I think alum and tea tree oil are two things. (But pls look for her thread as I am going off memory and could be wrong).

Yay for yeast infections haha.

Because this entire thread seems to support the fact that you are good to go. It doesn't sound as if you've gotten herpes. :)

@sail, you are one of the few then. Most people don't get tested for herpes. It usually needs to be requested, which people don't realize, and most doctors don't mention. You do know that the majority of people that carry the virus don't even know they have it, right? We need to be more proactive in protecting ourselves. In a perfect world everyone would know their status and everyone would be honest. It's not a perfect world. Sex=risk. Saying get off the site doesn't help matters. These discussions only help those questioning disclosure, but reaffirm it for those that do disclose.

I think you're good!

Sometimes, when life gets rough and things pile up, we lash out at the ones that love us. They are easy targets. And most likely will remain regardless of how we acted. Not saying that it makes him right or that he will come back around. We can't really predict other peoples reactions, but don't lose hope. His anger isn't abnormal. Add in his other stressful stuff and I'm sure he's an emotional wreck. Regardless, you may be associating this all with the outbreak (which I'm sure contributed to his stress) but it may be just be life in general. He knew he had a risk and if it happened at another point he may have dealt with it easier. Try not to freak out and see what happens.

@sail, it's pretty hard to prove where you got HSV unless you were tested and can show that you're were negative before having sex with that person. Since we usually don't get routinely tested for herpes, I would think winning those lawsuits aren't too easy. Especially if you are having one night stands. Odds are that if you are sexually active, you've had exposure to the virus and just didn't know. (All those asymptomatic people and people who have HSV1 orally for example). Burden of proof and all that. Not advocating non-disclosure, but the thought of everyone running around suing people for STDs that are non-life threatening is abusing the system in my opinion.

I agree with the others, give him space and time. I understand you are hurting, but something that sticks out in your posting is you keep saying how much you've done for him. Do you feel he owes you something? I'm just pointing that out because I hope that you aren't telling him these same things? We can't make them stay due to what we've given them. And I would think you wouldn't want someone to feel obligated to stay with you. Just my thoughts. If he's going through a lot right now, piling other emotions (guilt, obligation, anger) on top of it might backfire.

HPV testing should be included in your pap smears. If you get them routinely, you'll have an idea of your HPV status. I tested positive for HPV when I was 16, but never had a positive afterwards. I never did get typed for HSV so I could possibly have both strains, who knows.

Best of luck out there!

It's a learning process and varies. I deal with itching on occasion as well, and I think it may be prodomes, but nothing ever happens. I just play it safe during that time just in case.

I have. My kids know my husband gets cold sores and we've always warned them not to share drinks/utensils or kiss during that time. My oldest made a crack about me needing to be careful having sex with him because I might get herpes too. And since I felt she was old enough to understand, I made a comment back- something along the lines of it being too late. There are many herpes jokes made in the house now! (In good fun, not a bad way). It has opened up many STD conversations and I think they will be better off for knowing. They aren't sexually active yet (15, 13, and 11 now) but I would hope that they are better informed for future encounters.

Since you have had those same things happen during your initial outbreak, it could possibly be one. Everyone is different. I would watch/wait and see what happens since you've already been to the doctor. Good luck with the results.