Bambina3

@MMissouri yes I'm in a hospital, for 26 years. I don't need to walk around to know and see, I deal with it everyday. I understand your point, and it's well taken However, I don't think it's fair to downplay someone's emotions.... To look at someone suffering, to make yourself feel better? I think that's awful!!! I agree that this is minor, I agree with helping those that want to go over the edge with this disease by helping them cope.... It is minor compared to other diseases if we must compare....but my preference is not to compare...not to look at someone's suffering to help my own (mentally or physically)

@SunDevourer Your last line was very inspirational, thank you ! I understand also what you are saying, but again people suffer to different degrees...I have read posts of people that have very extremely bad obs that debilitate them, as well as others that struggle emotionally.....so there is suffering, just not for everyone. I don't take lightly that I was diagnosed with an incurable lifelong std....although I've had only 1 breakout that I'm aware of in almost 30 years... If it was non suffering and taken so lightly, why disclose???

I will agree to disagree on suffering.....because someone's mental state can be just as damaging to them, with or without any diagnosis....with that being said...I do agree to the different degrees of diagnosis that are pointed out above, however, how do we know we do not have a member lurking that also has one of the above diseases mentioned too? How do you think they feel reading this? Sure they might also agree, but it's just a reminder of their pain when we bring it up. I just try to be mindful to all, I also work in healthcare.

In reference to vaginal births I'd like to chime in. First, I was unaware I've been carrying the h2 virus all this time, and gave natural childbirth to all of my beautiful healthy babies...I thank God for no complications because we were not watching something I didn't know I had.

I read an interesting article....and wanted to share for those that haven't seen it http://herpesstories.org/las-vegas-man-sues-his-tinder-hookup-after-contracting-genital-herpes/

It's possible he didn't know....I went decades without any confirmation and unknowingly could of spread it....Do you two communicate? It really doesn't matter now who brought it in to the relationship, but you could encourage his testing. My Doctor also had the same basic comment "you could have a, b, c" and "it could be worse" Although theoretically that may be true, it doesn't help the person who is emotionally suffering, or the person that is sitting there reading or hearing that and has one of those diseases...it is actually distributing to me when people do any comparison.....suffering is suffering. If you can, I'd strongly suggest therapy......I'm not ashamed to admit I have gone....you are not alone...many success stories here if you browse the site. Sending hugs!!!

Ny/pa

He asks for proof but didn't ask you for proof? Just because you admitted to hpv, doesn't mean you are not a carrier of other stds(in general population not you specific) So he doesn't bring protection, agrees to go without protection, doesn't ask for your std panel results, and you are to blame? I think NOT.

thank you ;)

Ok i am learning....and confused now So hsv1 and 2 can be transmitted to another person, and not necessarily genital, but to a finger or hand? I remember discussing this back when I was first diagnosed....so even though the person is showing signs on just a finger, they can have a positive blood test for h 1 or 2 ?? Even though contact was never made genitally?(for 2)

Yes it's possible....I had an initial ob that we think was mis diagnosed, then I went almost 30 years without symptoms, or symptoms I would recognize, until time of diagnosis. There is no rhyme or reason for h

Welcome to the site and the support it can offer you try counseling....I have gone, it might help I hope you can find your smiles today

@LowLover298 you will find many wonderful supportive people here. If you surf around this site you will find many inspirational stories and information

Sorry didn't mean to be a thread hijacker,... Sex without condoms is a wonderful thing, and the way you plan on handling things @gimmehope sounds good! Disclosure is still an issue for me, you have to (or should) disclose before going without condom.

@optimist thank you for explaining,....I try to go with facts, and although I agree many walk around and not know (I did),,..bottom line is no one really knows the answer and without it being part of the standard std panel, we may never know. @Katidid yes I've had h for almost 30 years and was not informed (general consensus with many 2nd,3rd, and 4th medical opinions...it really does stink...I feel like I was hit with a brick,,.right now I'm an emotional roller coaster some days better than others,,.i did meet someone here that has been extremely supportive. No, no one recent knows, which includes hubs....x affair never did call me about anything out of the ordinary....so I don't know if I transmitted it to anyone, although I am certain I did hubs. Only 2 people know in real life, both I've known 20 plus years, the one took my virginity and was involved with me back at the time I contracted this disease(we broke up and got back together then),,,him and his wife are positive hsv2, he thought he got it from her, now he doesn't know. They will not betray me and tell anyone. I have trouble understanding it yes, they say time helps, I'm still waiting.

@Katidid I am sorry to hear about your husband, and unfortunately I do know where you are...someone very close to my heart passed on from cancer, and spent their final days in my home, which became their home,..it was very traumatic and will forever be with me, It does put our disease in perspective....however, it doesn't help the emotional roller coaster at times,

@Mmissouri I couldn't agree more with your above statement...I also work in the healthcare field and there is no stereotyping when it comes to any disease...heck, I'd even be the last person they would look at and think I had a veneral disease...because I don't fit the "profile" put out there with the stigma associated with stds.... Getting tested for any disease is scary....are you ready for the result? Could you handle knowing? I didn't expect this, I would rather of not known.

HPV (human papillomavirus) is very common. About 80 million people in the U.S. are affected. About 40 of the 100 HPV types are transmitted sexually. This HPV transmission can cause genital warts or abnormal cell changes in the cervix and other genital areas that can lead to cancer. While there is no cure for HPV, the good news is the infection often clears on its own. If it does not, and treatment is needed, there are many HPV treatment options. Copied from webmd, I hope that helps....HPV can be removed from the body, HSV and HIV are the only 2 STDS that I am aware of that are incurable and lifelong. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. I had the HPV strain that caused abnormal cell growth not warts. It was surgically removed and my tests have been negative since.

I suppose my question is...why hasn't he gone to the doctor for treatment of his hpv? It is treatable and curable....I had hpv years ago, and I know of a man that had hpv and had the spots removed...has he been proactive with his healthcare and ask a doctor about removable? Freezing?? Etc. HSV from my experience so far, just throwing it out there in general convo getting feedback definitely has the stigma because it's incurable... Good luck

My gyno and pcp also downplayed herpes treating it as no big deal...bot even promoting disclosure or offering any education other than a pamphlet...personally I think it's ignorant to those that have it and are suffering on either a physical or emotional level.

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. Norman Vincent Peale

I also agree with mom, day of party is not the best time to disclose....I personally wouldn't even consider it unless the emotional bond was there and I saw the relationship moving forward. I confided in my ex about my hpv diagnosis at the time, he was loving and caring...when we got divorced, he went around telling everyone I had an std. That experience has greatly influenced my decisions lately. You'll make the right choice for YOU Good luck !!

Bird I am with you also on all these feelings....when I speak, I speak with great confidence....on the subject of h...confidence slide downhill....I rather not discuss it in my real life, because of the shame I still know I have behind my voice.

2 percent? I seriously am having a hard time lately understanding all these stats that are being said onsite and offsite, bottom line to me, nothing makes sense about h.....I find it hard to believe the transmission rates are so low, but yet it's so prevalent? ???? Maybe it's prevalent, maybe it's not.... I think once you commit long term, I would have a talk with him so you can mutually decide this together....some are willing to take the risk, some are not. I did not use a condom, but at the time, did not know I was infected....since diagnosis I have not been with anyone h negative, so I'm sorry I don't have much input here. Good luck!

If HIV transmission is 4 out of 10,000 risk events (female to male) and hsv2 is 1.5 per 10,000 , then how come we sit here time and time again saying how common hsv2 is???(both studies were with condom usage)