Bambina3

Certainly could be game playing, using h as an excuse to leave...I'd move on

This sounds like a form of grade school bullying to me, and at college level, you would think they would be over it. It's natural to want to confide in a friend, but if your looking for confidentiality, choose someone that you have trusted with other information and never let you down, or seek counseling. I went thru a similar situation with my ex, I told him when I was diagnosed with hpv...during divorce he told everyone he could to try and hurt me...I blew it off, and kept blowing it off until the gossip settled, I know first hand, it's hurtful.

Yes, I had similar problem...it's not her main job now, so she does not get to the boards as quickly

First of all, you are human, cut yourself a break Second, if he truly cares for you, do you think he'd completely shut you out??? He's probably scared now feeding Into our stigma Like stated above, risk is extremely low

I can only assume at this point when I got it and from who, but....I will be haunted by the question of who it really was,because I was not officially diagnosed until last August Does it matter? Nope Would I like to know definitely....yes Would I forgive if they knew before sleeping with me? I can't answer that, I would hope so, but would be scorned I don't think whoever it was knew I'm severely disappointed it's not part of the standard std panel

Numbers mean nothing...positive is positive like we stated above Trust me, I have struggled with this too with the unknown

This is very personal confidential information about your sexual health...I know some people freely disclose on their first date, or right up front...I would never...especially in your situation....I also live in a small town and hear the stigma attached to our disease...you don't know him that long, id build the trust factor before disclosing

Welcome I can only share my experience I had my first ob, a very bad painful one that landed me in er, and then i did not have another recognizable sign until decades later.... So everyone is different good luck ;)

Agreed with sil above A lot of peeps contract hsv1 in childhood....they are not banned for life....let's boost up your self esteem and move forward. It's very common, they sell over the counter creams like it's no biggee...and hsv2 holds the most stigma I think, what about us that deal with both? Stop feeding the stigma, disclosing is the moral thing to do, and endoigares on this site. Trust me, I know how difficult that is. I hope you find your smiles, you don't believe it now, but it will be fine.

Not sure he knew he had h...until now And, upon telling him, if he doesn't believe you That sent him underground. I'm not trying to make excuses, just throwing out ideas to maybe understand. H for people of ignorance is a very big deal. Concentrate on you, find your smiles, get your treatment, and move forward. Good luck

You did the right thing Although I think you jumped the gun telling him so fast because your emotions were in overdrive. But, it was a good thing and led you to his lie about his age...for all you know he already has it. Keep smiling, certainly more fish in the sea

Welcome ;) Those above me have done a great job answering your questions, so I do not have much more to add than my support...I also have hsv1 and 2, and my diagnosis day also rates top 10 most remembered devastating days. I want to say it get better with time, and for some it really does rather quickly, for me, it's taken a long time, warp years I think to deal with my diagnosis. As far as your hiv concern, I will admit, it is also a fear of mine too...you get hit with all these stds and you think wtf and who the fuck did I come in contact with??? Or at least I did. Try to keep your faith strong, everything happens for a reason, even though we don't know what that reason is. Good luck and many hugs !!

Welcome And although I am sorry you had to find us this way, we are all grateful for the support shown here...we have all been in the same boat that you are on...chin up, this boat doesn't sink. ! ;) ;)

Thank you everyone! It felt liberating, I just freed myself from these h shackles I've been wearing for a long time.

Well, I put my big girl panties on and disclosed to my husband...I have to admit, my timing was very bad, it was during our anniversary dinner (ouch)....but...I am very impromptu in every area of my life so why should this be different....it has taken me 1 year 8 months to get to this moment....I started with disclosing hsv1, the no big deal cold sore, then went to factual, I have 2 strains of hsv, one strain was genital He said really? Yep. He seemed unconcerned, told me it was no big deal...his boss has cold sores all the time etc etc....I reminded him of his previous comments about never being with someone that has it, he didn't remember saying that. Not sure he really gets it. Bottom line, he had no questions, said it didn't phase him....

I'm in for wine And tears myself xxx

I hope he just didn't disappear on you, and does eventually contact you..but.. this sort of thing happened to a friend of mine...twice...I didn't know what the term "ghosting" meant until she went thru it...one person she was actively seeing for almost a year, no indication of a problem and boom gone...disconnected his phone...wouldn't answer texts or messenger....the other person backed off quickly and stopped responding....I felt awful seeing her go thru this.... I advised her to just walk away and keep walking..,.although h has made myself weak in some areas, being tolerant of acts like this is not one of them.

You have mentioned it twice...I'd move forward like you didn't even have h because you have already dealt with the issue in this relationship....if she stops it again, she does.

I totally agree with hippyherpy He's taking the coward way out Move on

Thank you @Katidid Even the strong have weak moments

I've been on Prozac and Ativan at one point to try and help, and I didn't have any side effects or breakouts

Until today, I have not informed any of my former partners or affairs that I am positive for both hsv1 and 2. I have lived a life I am not proud of, for the past 8 years or so, with multiple affairs, married men. Sadly, I am the woman, most of you dislike because of infidelity, but there are 2 sides of the story, and although it is morally incorrect, it takes 2 to tango. I live in a small area and frequently see 2 of my last affairs, 1 currently trying to start it up again. I did, what I thought was right, and even though I didn't show my face, and hid behind a fake number, I disclosed. I downloaded a fake app, fake phone number and texted one today. Admitted I was ashamed of my past behavior, and felt morally obligated to disclose to him I was positive for both types of hsv. I said I was a blast from his past, and said things to clue him in, that only someone he was intimate with would know. He asked how long ago, a week, a month, 2 months. Was ignorant to the disease and said he was blood tested when sick and came out good so he was clean...I informed him about the specific test needed for diagnosis. I ended the texting by saying I was truly sorry, and to please seek testing. I don't know who gave it to who, but at the very least, he's been exposed. He has yet to contact me. What does that whole convo mean to me?? He lied, I was not his only affair in 20 years. I was in a cheating arena, and trust me, if they/we cheat once, it usually doesn't stop there, not if you are unhappy. I regret my past decisions, and slowly trying to make right my wrong, but it is difficult on many levels.....and I'm not 100 percent convinced this will curb my behavior, which is even more disturbing, but not a convo for here.

I keep posting just in this thread because it's easier on me, and I need to vent now and share

What do you mean your a virgin who has hsv2? I had the same feelings when diagnosed, I still deal with my own inner demons and struggles, I have reseated it, and although it can transfer, it is very very very rare, I don't have the stats readily available...I've had it for many years, and have not transferred it, even when I didn't know I had it Not sure I helped, but I tried

I've also been infected with hsv1 and 2 for a very long time, and have even told by several professionals a positive result is a positive result, end of subject...he only way to tell a recent infection is if you have a negative result, then test again and sero convert to positive