Bambina3

They recommended against screening? I find this VERY interesting because I am close to someone going for a state job...they gave a form that must be filled out and signed by their doctor...One of the specific questions they ask is if the patient has an std....I was horrified to read that...what does having an std have to do with your ability to do a job, a desk job? Any job? Sure you can request your physician not answer it, but then you risk not getting a state position.

So, I know you are emotionally connected to this man, and it is understandably upsetting you. From an outsiders point of view, reading it is actually pissing me off. Why? Because he has hsv1. I totally get the stigma surrounding hsv2, but have you been tested for 1? Shouldn't he be also concerned about passing his 1 to partners? Does he not realize he can genitally pass 1 to partners thru oral sex? I've read on here where people suffer with hsv1 in the genital region...I think this dude needs more education. Good luck, you will find happiness!!!!!!!

I will also comment that you are much braver than I am. I am happy to read it is out behind you And to let yourself go and cry is not a sign of freaking out or weakness...I think it shows a comfort level with him, and I hope he realizes that after he processes everything. Good luck

First you have to understand...to be understood Hsv has so many what ifs and unknowns

There is a little circle to the right of your response...if you click it there will be a drop down that says edit, you can click that and edit your response. Lots of resource onsite as you know, timing of disclosure/disclosing is a personal choice Good luck

@mmissouri, I think your comment above was for me but my nick wasn't mentioned, I'll answe anyway. The right time for me to disclose may never come....I've come close, "felt out"husbands reaction to the disease, and backed out.

I tried feeling out my husband once after my diagnosis, so I could inform him, my brave moment turned not so....he had a similar reaction as what you've stated above "I'd never be with someone with h" etc etc. Whatever, I changed subject and moved on, knowing I was infected, and probably so was he.

there is no such thing as a dumb question ! There has never been a documented case of hsv being transmitted via an inanimate object With that being said, I would still have a serious talk with her in references to sharing razors, even though it was yours, she should be treating your razor just like anyone else's, using universal precautions....don't do it, blood borne pathogens can be transmitted this way as well as bacteria etc.

I don't agree with disclosure unless there is a strong emotional connection that is formed... I was single for many years, and although I was unaware of my status at that time, I know unless I serious about someone, I'd never disclose. I'd probably never have sex either or insist on condom usage and antivirals...unless asked, then I wouldn't lie. Heck, I'm still waiting for the right time to disclose, so I guess I better stop writing ;(

I read it was an extremely rare occurance, and even then cuticles

In my 2 affairs, I did point blank ask are you clean? Are you disease free? Even though I knew them, one for many years, one I though I knew pretty well (NOT) I was unaware of my h status at that point Now it's after the fact I do agree both partners should be proactive on their health, and not all the burden should weigh so heavily on us. Of course people lie too, another subject

It sounds like your relationship went on long enough after your disclosure that is had nothing to do with h....it might of stayed in the back of his mind (when he spoke of testing) but he knew the risks and continued anyway. It's just one of those things, you will find the right person Hugs!!

Yes, hsv is tricky And since there is sooo much "unknown" And not much quantified data, it's a wonder some of us feel like we are left out here to sink

Here is my response from other post There is a difference between a swinging lifestyle and a poly one, I think. Poly relationships are actual relationships, where people develop feelings. I noticed above you mentioned both, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought here was a difference. I struggle with disclosure, so I am not in a position to give good advice on it, but if you told your current 2 partners, I see no need to go back track and tell everyone else, unless there was one really long term partner in the mix, he might need to know. When they do the standard std panels, hsv is not part of it. So unless you specifically asked for it, you would not have been tested....I would think at this point it would be hard to track down your giver....I am hsv1 and hsv2 positive. Good luck, hugs

I'm sure I just responded to this someone else, now I have to look

There is a difference between a swinging lifestyle and a poly one, I think. Poly relationships are actual relationships, where people develop feelings. I noticed above you mentioned both, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought here was a difference. I struggle with disclosure, so I am not in a position to give good advice on it, but if you told your current 2 partners, I see no need to go back track and tell everyone else, unless there was one really long term partner in the mix, he might need to know. When they do the standard std panels, hsv is not part of it. So unless you specifically asked for it, you would not have been tested....I would think at this point it would be hard to track down your giver....I am hsv1 and hsv2 positive. Good luck, hugs

I so often wondered about this myself, and have posed this question before... Before diagnosis my ex had a lot of foreplay, using a lot of hand and arm rubbing. He shortly after broke out on his arm (from hand up) in something we've never seen before and it lasted weeks! I often wondered if it could be h.

I went almost 30 years without a noticeable outbreak (and even that one resembled a uti) So I also wonder how really infections am I ? If I done have breakouts, and shedding decreases over time, hmmmmm

If transmitting hsv is so rare, stats so low....they how can they say so many are infected and it's a common std ?

Love it ;)

I personally deal with someone I love that is bi polar...I know they can't help how that act, but Meds really can help...I'm sure you don't like being mean, and it's just as upsetting to you after the trigger event, and you become down...being med compliant will really help you deal with all areas of your life He had accepted your h status, relax, doesn't sound like he's going anywhere anytime soon Hugz!!'

So very heartwarming...thank you for sharing !!

Interested in support group xx

Sometimes you don't know your greatest strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness

Could be, the situation is not a good one....I've been advised thru the medical community to also let it go....but gosh some days I have difficulty dealing. Not many people have been in my situation, I know, or if they have been,unfortunately it's been on the other side.