Bambina3

@MMissouri I have confided in 2 long term people in my life (20 plus years)...I use the term hsv...they were both accepting and non judgemental....but I knew they would be, they have never betrayed me, and we have stood beside eachother for years. Marriage is not happy, another subject....my concern is not him leaving...its him spreading it all over town...he had repeated things I have told him in confidence before,....also my first ex told others something personal I shared during that divorce, thus creating real trust issues. I do understand what you are saying, thanks!! @SunDevourer Our communication lacks, I have issues or I would never of had an affair....I'm sure I gsve it to him, I saw what I think was his initial ob over a year ago, the dr didn't test nor rule out hsv. I do agree, we all are liars in one way or another...

Hey everyone! I know this is a ongoing topic, but I have to admit I still greatly struggle with the disclosure issue....I feel like I'm living a daily lie, a secret...and I'm alone in my real world. It's been almost a year since I found out officially I have HSV2, months since I found out I have HSV1. I don't disclose to my husband for several reasons...one of them is not being left alone, it's that "telegraph tell hubby"...in the past I have been betrayed...My ex affair, I struggle if I pass him, because of the guilt, the guilt of knowing he could be a carrier now. Any suggestions, input, similar stories would be appreciated.

It takes two to have sex...and like one of Dancers points, he didn't make an effort to even ask a single question....no one is perfect. Hugs!

Kuddos! This site has helped me in many ways ;)

Nice to meet you, I'm also a veteran, although I was mis diagnosed and it was just confirmed last August...I can't even explain my scenario because it's all based on speculation, and information from the 80s, which they knew very little about h back then.

@pickaname So heartwarming to read you have such a strong emotional bond with your friend and are considering moving forward...Dancer gave you plenty of options to help cope with transmission.

I've already thought of that scenario too (bad bambina)

That's the concern with hsv, you cannot pin point much of anything. I am 99.9 percent positive I passed it to my spouse...and to date, I haven't handled it. No discussion, no disclosure...notta...he went to the dr before my official diagnosis and was told it was just a rash, looking back, I think hsv. I just figure he mentions the rash again, I'll advise testing for hsv. In my situation, like it or not, I've been advised even by my own dr not to disclose at this time, it would bring up accusations of infidelity, another issue I don't want to deal with.

If she doesn't respond, I wouldn't go to any greater lengths to let her know...besides, you think it was her, but were you both virgins? Never cheat until seperation ? You can have hsv for years, even decades like myself, and not show signs or symptons.

Whether or not either works out Yay for you So positive !!

I think all of this is up to the individual person, and h has a mind of its own, so it's hard to proceed with treatment or prevention options. Iv never had one cold sore, but hsv2 positive HSV2 still no conclusive answers, nor have I ever see. It since my injt diagnosis a vey long time ago....upon official diagnosis I had 1 lesion inside me, another starting, I thought I had uti or yeast infection. I do not take any Meds at this time.

I vote let it go .....

Condoms lower transmission with any std, however nothing is 100 percent

I'm also sorry to hear you got this reaction, but not surprised....unfortunately I already know myself, and if someone told me they were infected, I wouldn't continue unless I was deeply in love...that being said, I am positive for type 1 and 2. Just let nature take its course and see if it evolves to something more...if not, hopefully you'll have a dear friend for always.

The test results will confirm which type it is, both type 1 and type 2 produce what looks like gential hsv.... Good luck !

Congrats !!

You said he had both oral and genital herpes...but oral (hsv1) can also be in the genital area...so was he tested and confirmed hsv1 and hsv2 positive? Sure it would help if you were tested....if you came back negative and didn't want to continue to take the chance of contracting the virus...there are ways to protect yourself (antivirals, condom usage)..... If you don't care, then there really is no need to know...if it's not going to change the outcome of your behavior. Good luck !!

Kuddos!!! Great post !

I have seen a psychologist in reference to my diagnosis...unfortunately it was of no help to me, she just listened, really no guidance, and asked the doctor to prescribe me an anxiety med....although I thought it might help, it is masking the underlying issues, they still haven't gone away. I didn't try seeing someone again after that. Good luck, hopefully you will find someone to help.

Hello! Gosh you sound like me when I first joined...I remember I didn't get a reply and omggg was I upset....now I forget how many replies are in my thread...we are here, just some days busier than others. I have hsv1 and 2....I think I've been infected for decades, and have not transmitted it to any of my children, and had heathy normal vaginal deliveries. Hsv1 is transmitted by oral to oral contact both with and without symptons(cold sores, shedding). Have you talked with your doctor about kissing the children? Highest risk of transmission is during an outbreak. Statistically most people acquire hsv1 during childhood/teenage land (I have no idea when I contracted mine, I've never had a cold sore) Hsv1 can also be transmitted to the genital area via oral sex(FYI) I hope I helped, I have only officially known since last August of my diagnosis, I remember that day like it just happened.

Disclosure is promoted onsite, I am controversial with it.... I have no advice other than to follow your gut....when you're ready to disclose you will, and your way, will be the right way xxx

@Peggy....thank you for your kind words...;)

Ok so I have to admit, this is my first time skimming and reading this thread...and my first laugh at h onsite..(h likes cum)....thanks guys ;)

I went almost 30 years with no visible symptoms then boom, here is hsv2. I am aware that possible transmission can occur, usually cuticles, but rare. I also posed the question abou vigorous rubbing one time on this forum and was told yes I could of transmitted it, but again rare. I'd get the emotional bond going on and if your comfy, disclose

Everyone processes it differently, both men and women...he could be upset you didn't disclose prior to your first sexual encounter, people on this site promotes disclosure...I personally battle with it, it's morally correct, but I get angry the burden lays on us... You did the right thing by disclosing...I hope he does contact you for closure...but a friend of mine just went thru "ghosting" (which I didn't know what it meant until now) Where she was dating someone for almost a year and poof gone Phone disconnect, chat disconnect, things were good, he just disappeared. She was very hurt. So if he doesn't resurface, please don't take it personally, it's their way of dealing...