Bambina3

Just because he had his first ob recently does not mean he just contracted the virus from you...have is tricky, some people go their entire lives without any ob... Anyway, like you said his plate is full, and add his first ob on top of that, I'm sure he is on an emotional roller coaster,..just give him some time, if it's meant to be, he will be back

I'm actually surprised your counselor mentioned marriage so soon into your relationship...I understand you have known each other for years, but that's a different level than intimacy.. He has had other major health issues so I do understand his concern, everyone reacts differently to the virus...I went decades with only one uncomfortable outbreak that I questioned, not everyone is so fortunate. I'd give him space, of it was meant be, he will be back...hopefully he's educating himself to the disease...and will find the risk of transmission is minimal with proper precautions And kudos to you for your disclosure!!!!!!

I admit, when I first joined I went without a response for days....and was pissed.but..there are a few members that post often, but life sometimes gets in the way of log in I cannot offer support for disclosure....I still have not done it with anyone that matters (i.e. Husband or affair), like stated above, there are others onsite that have done it, just browse around, there are success stories here

I never heard of such a thing, but maybe someone onsite has

I also agree with above H affects everyone differently...I had a primary ob 30 years ago, and not another one that would cause enough symptons to notice until last August when I was officially diagnosed. I did take an antiviral then, for 10 days...and have not taken it since...I've also not had another ob that I am aware of. Some people get frequent obs and need medicine

I have not read any of your posts until now but I can tell you, I also struggle very much...it was a year August that I found out, and it still feels like yesterday.....I haven't disclosed, nothing, just moozing along life and putting it on the back burner like it didn't happen to me. I have been doing research, listening to videos, reading on the disease, but I've put myself in an emotionless state I think when I do it....it's the only way right now i know how to cope. I also hear/people talk about it being a skin condition in a not good place...I know that's basically what it is...but I also know it's a life long incurable std that is frowned upon by uneducated people....however, when I put myself in a negative persons shoes, would I have sex with me and take the risk?? The answer is no.,.and I know that. So now what??? I don't have the answers, but what I do know, is I share in your struggle. Hugs!!

I just wanted to come in and make a few comments and observations I've been on YouTube, searching around, listening to videos at work rather than music, on hsv and stds....I want to give @Adrial a huge thank you for his dedication, it is clearly his passion to educate people. He does it without monetary value if you cannot afford it (this site) and everything else is minimal charge. I searched for Terri Warren and astonishly only found one video linked with her name. I know she has done a lot of research in this field, dedicated a good part of her life to hsv, but it seems money driven. You cannot even ask her a question without a charge. I commend her for all her research to our disease, just a vent that we need more people like Adrial who want to help us, even if you do not have the money, will answer questions, do videos etc. I am at a point in my life where I can afford a few dollars a month to our cause, but I remember a time, where I could not. Of course I heard people with stigma related comments (a woman referred to a man that has hsv as having a dirty dick).....this lady has a YouTube following with her videos....imagine???

Just retest....it does sound like you might of tested too soon after exposure. Why admit to having something that hasn't been confirmed? I do know someone that had 2 negative swabs and finally the bloodwork came back positive....so it might be h, just be smart and retest.

I had something the way you describe but it was follicullitis....I'm sure in your next apt hopefully they will swab it.

NYC does have support groups and like stated above you can look it up here or google. I am in a state right next door to you so if you would like to pm me feel free

Sorry, I really don't want to hijack this thread @happyherpy I also thought I got it from affair, but after at least 3 medical opinions on my chart all doctors believe I contracted h when I was 18, when I entered into the er with perianal ulcers. Never had a noticeable outbreak until decades later, when I got my official diagnosis. So how many men have i unknownly infected? I'm almost sure hubs has it,I think he was misdiagnosed now that I reflect on the breakout. For several reasons I do not want to disclose now. As for affairs, I'm not going back to them now that I know, so I didn't disclose.

@hippyherpy I am on the fence about disclose for several reasons. One major complication is I'm married, and have had a few affairs prior to official diagnosis.

I totally understand what you are trying to say ;) Whether you date someone who is positive or negative you sound like you will rock it !

It takes two, and if he would of asked, of course be honest, but he didn't ask, and I am also on the fence with the disclosure issue, if not asked...both participants should be proactive for safe sex

Thanks for the link! Not even sure I believe the entire article is true and not fabricated...her reaction to the virus was to the extreme max and very rare, nothing inspiring about it, pure negativity, and an abrupt end. Also, like above was stated, oral h the last straw? H2 apparently ruined her life, that wasn't a straw lying about that? Whatever...this is why we have stigma.

I have both 1 and 2, supposedly one of the virus's helps give you some immunity from the other....well I blew that theory out of the water. There is nothing about this disease that makes sense.

She told you, I'm sorry it was after the fact, but it is difficult, especially if you really like someone and could risk loosing them. Obviously she cares enough to disclose. Like said above, wait a few more weeks and test.

Had anyone been able to find a link for this article so I can read it? I went google searching and only from one from Cosmo from several years ago

I'm sorry to read this, but you are certainly not alone...I'm a year into my diagnosis, and still having trouble with acceptance. There are many success stories on this site, maybe they will provide inspiration to you. Also, please consider counseling....i have started to go, and feel like I am on the road to recovery....Hugs!!!!!

I'm so glad to hear you are doing well ! Hugs !

I have also had h 1 and 2 for probably close to 30 years (assuming) although I am fresh to my official diagnosis of 1 year ago. I have to tell you, I went to several different doctors and they all had the same opinion, "no big deal".....however for this that truly suffer with it either physically or emotionally, it is a very big deal. I do understand where they are coming from with the way the medical community thinks, which is why we are so far behind in finding a cure and stopping the spread of the disease from most that don't know they have it

Ok so that was interesting ;)

Welcome !

Doctors do discourage disclosure, I cannot grasp that....I was told by 2 doctors not to disclose.

I'm not going to look at your first post, because I do remember reading it now that you've mentioned the above detail... Support does help, by not logging in you miss out on the great support here, just give it a chance! I'm so sorry you are hurting, there are deceptive people out there, I have personally engaged with a few....and it's shame on them!! Shame on them because we trusted them. It takes 2 to have sex, I do believe if one doesn't open the door to the sexual convo, than both are to blame....but you said you asked, she said she was clean, she knew and lied I'm sorry you are going thru this, I don't think any words can make it better, but time does heal, and there is support here. Hugs!!